She looks at me like I'm crazy. “I don't know if I can handle anything else from you just yet.”
“Okay, let's shower and then I'll give it to you.”
She still looks unsure but smiles and agrees.
In the shower, I have to feel her again, and she doesn't resist me. She turns herself so her back is against me, and she places her hands on the tile of the shower wall. I pull her hair off her back, and it falls around her shoulder. I kiss her neck and back as I ease into her; this time I keep a slow pace, tenderly filling her over and over again.
When she unravels, she turns her head to the side and reaches behind mine to pull it down to kiss her lips. Breathing heavily into her mouth, I push the last inch in to her, and I can feel my knees start to buckle. I hold onto her hip tightly, and my body slowly comes down from its high.
***
“What's this?” she asks sweetly when I hand her the small pink box. Addison sits cross-legged on the messy bed with her wet hair wrapped in a towel.
“Open it.”
She does and looks at me when she pulls out the string of pearls.
“They were my mom's.” I clench my jaw, quickly pushing back my emotion. “My dad wanted you to wear them on our wedding day.”
“Blaine...” She breathes. “I don't know what to say. They're just...beautiful.” They looked out of place in my dad's hands, and even in mine. But they're just perfectly imperfect in hers.
I want to surge and tell her that he hugged me, and even though it would sound stupid to most people, it was everything to me. But I don't tell her. I keep it to myself and smile.
The pearls go back into the box and she places it on the nightstand beside her side of the bed. Climbing into my arms, she hugs me. “Thank you for everything. I mean it—everything. I don't deserve all of this.”
I look at her like she's insane. “You deserve everything, and I wish I could give it all to you.”
“You've given me everything, and what have I given you?”
“Addison, don't be crazy. You're going to marry me.” I decide now is the time. “You're going to be the mother of my children some day.”
She looks away.
“Baby, why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Look away, or change the subject. Or shrug off the idea of having kids.”
She inhales and leans her forehead into my shoulder. “I'm afraid.”
“Afraid? Of what?” I instantly think of my mother. “Because of what happened to my mom?”
“No, of course not!” Her eyes glistening with tears. “I've seen so much sadness, Blaine.”
I feel awful for even asking; why would I do this on her birthday? “That doesn’t happen to every baby, Addison.”
“I know. I just remember Alex, and how scared my parents were.” A tear spills from her eye, quickly followed by another. “I couldn't bear it.”
“This is something we are in together. I want to have children with you; don't you want that with me?”
She burrows her head into me again. “I do want that. Of course I do.”
“Well, it's a brave thing to admit your fears. Hell, think of how strong you are just by moving halfway across the country.”
“Yeah...”
“Well, that was pretty gutsy in my book. You have more strength than you give yourself credit for.”
“I love you so much, Blaine. So, so very much.”
I lean back into the mattress and pull her down with me. She lays her head on my chest and trails her finger along my skin.
“I love you, beautiful. Happy birthday.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Addison is back to work today. She's on six-day work weeks, twelve hour shifts, right up until our wedding. As much as I would love to, I don't interfere with her work. She loves it, and I love her. As much as I miss her, everything we sacrifice is worth it in the end.
On the home front, all the new fencing is complete, everything is spruced up, and the place looks amazing—better than it has in decades. I couldn't have done it without Jer or Alex.
The three of us are way back in the field on the side-by-side when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number, but I answer anyway.
“Hello?”
“Blaine? Oh, hello; it's Ruth. I'm calling from the hospital.”
“Ruth? Hi, how are you?”
“Well, we need you to come down, please. Addison is okay, but—”
I panic. “What's going on?”
“Just come down, please. She’s asked me to call.”
“I'll be right there.” I hang up the phone and turn to the guys.
“I gotta get back; Addy needs me.” I jump in the side-by-side and quickly turn the key.
Alex drops his gloves and jumps in beside me. “What's happening?”
“I don't know. Ruth just called and said Addison needs me.”
Jer hops in the back, and we race up toward the house.
I don't know how long it takes me to get to the hospital. I wasn't paying attention at all, just driving as fast as I could; worried about what I might be walking in to. When I park in the visitor's lot I compose myself and walk quickly into the main entrance. “I'm looking for Addison Cole.”
The receptionist at the desk smiles and tells me to wait a moment. She picks up her phone and dials a number, softly speaking into the receiver so I can't hear her. “If you'll have a seat, sir. Someone will be right with you.”
I can't read the expression on her face, and I don't say anything, I turn around and sit down in an uncomfortable chair in a row of other uncomfortable looking chairs. Minutes that seem like hours go by, and finally, I see the elevator doors open and Ruth step out with a man in a suit.
“Blaine, can you come with us, please?”
“Ruth, where's Addison?”
The man introduces himself as Peter O'Brien, the director of Human Resources. “Miss Cole is upstairs in her unit. She's okay, we just had...an incident,” he replies in a hushed voice.
We're in the elevator now.
“What kind of incident?” My skin is tightening, and my pulse is racing. Why can't they just spit it out?
“Blaine, do you remember Reid? He's a nurse here,” Ruth says nervously.
“What about him?” I hiss. I start wondering if he's having me charged for knocking his ass out—is that why I'm here?
“He assaulted—”
I am faint, mush, tumbling. I'm death. “He...what?”
I can't breathe.
“Blaine, please.” Ruth motions to an office across the hall from the open elevator door. In the room Addison is sitting on a small sofa. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her face is puffy from crying.
“Baby, are you okay? What's going on?” I rush to her side and sit, grabbing for her hand.
“Mr...?”
I didn't even notice the two cops in the room. “Blackstock.” I nod. “I'm Blaine.”
“Mr. Blackstock. I'm Officer Herring.” The older of the two introduces himself while holding a leather notebook in his hand, writing what I assume is my name down on the paper. “Miss Cole was assaulted by a co-worker today. We have him in custody, thanks to Ruth here.” He nods toward her and smiles softly.
“What did he do, baby?” I choke out the words.
She wipes her eyes with a tissue and looks at me, and I don't know if I want to know. “Reid...” She winces when she says his name and looks down at the crumpled tissue, playing with it in her hands. “We just moved a patient into another room, and I was taking out some equipment when he locked the door. Trapping me.”
“What?” I clench my jaw, feel like my thumping heart is going to explode.
Ruth pipes up when she sees Addison struggling to explain. “I knew it shouldn't take that long to bring out a C-PAP, so I went to find her. When I did, I saw through the glass that he was attacking her.”
Addison inhales deeply, listening to what probably isn't the first recollection.
“My fi
ngers just wouldn't work! I'm so sorry, Addison!” Ruth puts her head into her hands.
“Ruth! No! You saved me. Please don't cry.” Addison stands to walk and hugs Ruth. That's when I notice her torn pants. She's holding onto one side to keep them from falling down.
“Addison...” I breathe. “What happened?” I'm livid; I could choke the life out of Reid if I could get my hands on him. I thought what Jacob did was the worst I could imagine.
“Can I be alone with him for a minute please?”
“Of course, Miss Cole. We'll be right outside.” Officer Herring says, putting his notebook into his pocket, and they all leave the room.
She sits back down on the sofa again. “He kept saying how I was teasing him. But I wasn't! Baby, you know I wouldn't do that.” She looks anxious and scared.
“Of course not. I know that.” I take her hands into mine and hold them tightly.
“He pushed me down on to the bed. I tried so hard to fight him off.” She pulls the hem of her destroyed pants open. “He tore my pants and...”
“And what?”
“He forced my legs open.”
“Addison, did he rape you?”
She inhales deeply, and I can see a tiny bit of calm wash over her. “No, he didn't. Ruth got the door open in time, and she miraculously pushed him off of me.”
“Oh, fuck.” I flush. “Where is he now?” I search the room like I'm expecting him to be standing there. Oh, how I wish he was right now. “You're coming home; let's go.” I stand and take her hand.
“I have to make sure I can first.”
“What? No, let's go.” I open the door and lead her out. “I'm taking her home.”
“Addison, I'm so sorry about this. Please take as much time as you need.” Peter frowns.
“Thank you, Mr. O'Brien. I'll be okay. I'm just so thankful for you, Ruth.” She turns to Ruth and hugs her again.
“Miss Cole, I'll be in touch in the morning. Okay?” Officer Herring hands her his card and offers a reassuring smile. “He's in custody right now. So please don't worry.”
Outside I call Jeremiah, who is still at the house with Alex. “Jer, hey…Yeah, she's okay. Can you drive Alex into town to pick up her car?...Okay, thanks.”
I don't tell Jeremiah what happened because he'll tell Alex, and as much as I'd love to tag team this fucker with him like the last one, Addison doesn't need her brother and me ending up in jail next to the asshole. I narrow my eyes and clench my jaw when we pass the staff parking lot and I see his Lexus. I want to drive my truck over top of it.
“Baby, I'm okay. Really.” She's somewhat smiling at me from across the cab of my truck. “I was just a little shaken.”
“Addison, he could have—” I close my eyes, trying to smother the image. I remember my dream about him; I just knew he was trouble. I knew it. “I'm so sorry I left you that day. I walked away, and he could have done something to you then.” I am sickened with myself for what could have been.
“No one knew what he was like, baby.” She reaches over and takes my hand. “I know you're upset. Think about what I went through when Gwen tried to take advantage of you!”
I do remember, and for some reason, it brings some sort of clarity. “Yeah, but...”
“No “but”s. It's almost the same thing.”
“We're just going to have to lock ourselves indoors from now on.” I force out a smile.
“You can lock me up with you any day.” She starts to look like herself again, puffy eyes, torn scrubs and all.
When we get home, she takes a long hot bath, and I throw her clothes in to a garbage bag and toss them in the garage. I don't know if the cops will need them; they probably would have taken them if they did. Just to be sure, I'll keep them for now.
Alex flings open the screen door when he gets back to the house with her car. “Blaine, what is going on? Where is my sister?” He looks ready for a brawl, wide eyed, looking all around him.
“She's upstairs taking a bath. Sit down; I'll explain it all.”
He sits, and I keep my end of the deal. I tell him what happened and it takes everything to keep him seated.
“What the fuck is wrong with people? Two fuckin' guys, Blaine. TWO!” He's talking about Jacob and Reid.
“I know.” I sigh. “She tells me she's okay.”
“Yeah, heard that before.” He looks away and bangs his fist on the top of the wooden island.
“Alex?” She walks slowly down the last two steps of the staircase as we both turn around. You can see the sadness in her eyes, but otherwise she looks a little better. She's wearing her jogging pants and one of my t-shirts. “I'm okay; I promise.”
“Addy, I don't know what I would do if...” He gets off his stool and hugs her.
She smiles at me over his shoulder. “Nice to know I'm cared about.”
“No one fucks with my big sister.” He puffs his chest, and she smiles. “What's going to happen to him now?”
“Well, the police said that he'll be charged with assault.” She sits down on a stool and turns to face the both of us. “Then it'll be up to a judge whether he's guilty or not. And if he gets time or who knows what.”
“Guilty or not? I thought that woman from work caught him?”
“Ruth. She did, but who knows what story he'll tell.” She rolls her eyes. “Either way, he's lost his job, and he's not allowed in the hospital unless he's brought in there for some emergency.”
“He'll need the E.R. if I see him...” I look at Alex and raise my eyebrow; he knows what I'm talking about. “Or the morgue.”
“Listen, none of that. Okay? From either of you. I don't need you two in jail.” She's good, she knows us too well.
“I can't promise anything. Sorry,” Alex says it, and I nod my head in agreement. I'm thinking the same exact thing.
She sighs, knowing there isn't any point to arguing with us, the two men who are ready to throw down for her any day, anytime, anywhere. She's loved more than she knows—or maybe she does know, and that's why she puts up with us.
Once Alex is convinced that she's okay and safe, he goes home. He takes the side-by-side down the dirt road so he doesn't have to call Jeremiah to pick him up.
We eat a small dinner, not talking about anything that happened today. Instead, she wants to talk about the wedding, which is a surprise since she's kept me in the dark for months. She hasn’t even give me one slight detail except that it's happening here and the time I should be ready.
“The girls know a good baker for the cake. What flavour would you like?”
Of course Maria and Kelsey know a cake maker; they probably know a balloon and streamer maker, too. I bet they've got a Rolodex for party planning.
“Cheesecake?” I smirk, and she giggles. It’s the most beautiful sound, and I haven't heard it all day. It warms my blood, and my heart finally recovers from the trauma of earlier and starts functioning again.
“What about carrot cake with cream cheese icing? Full of raisins and walnuts?”
She had me at cake; I just don't tell her. I'm a man. I don't care what kind it is; I'll eat it. “Sounds perfect.”
“Okay! Carrot cake it is.” She writes down in her wedding binder and quickly closes it when she notices I'm leaning over the table to take a peek at what's in there. So much for finding anything else out.
I yawn and sigh loudly.
“Tired?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Let's go to bed, babe.” She reaches for my hand, and we head upstairs. Rex and Luca follow us up and lay on the floor at the foot of the bed. They say dogs can sense emotion; maybe they know something's up, and they want to be close to her.
She gets as close as she can to me, and I wrap my arms around her. I nuzzle into the back of her neck and breathe in the familiar scent of green apples. I can feel her body relax as she falls asleep.
I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I stare at the walls, the door, the ceiling, those twenty-seven knots again, the clock, the windows, my hand
—anything to bore me enough to sleep. But it doesn't happen. I'm restless, and I try not to wake her up by fidgeting.
The last time I look at the clock, it's almost five in the morning. Great, I'm going to be dead on my feet in the morning for work. I hope the guys are ready to carry me around; I don't do well on fumes.
* * *
I'm awake when the sun rises; it was absolute torture all night long not being able to close my eyes and keep them shut. I wanted to sleep so badly, but I just couldn't. My mind was racing, thinking about everything that's happened, everything that could happen in the future and how much I would lose it if she was hurt again.
The dogs whine at the door. I slowly climb out of bed, and they follow me downstairs so I can let them outside. I have to scold them when they bark at the other animals, even though they don't listen. I wonder why dogs do that; it's not like they're new cows, or chickens or horses. They're the same ones they see every day, yet they still have to howl at them.
Addison sleeps until almost two in the afternoon, which is very unlike her. She obviously needs it, and I even manage to keep Alex out of the house all morning. He kept wanting to go and check on her, even though I told him she was sleeping.
“Hi, guys.” She smiles, holding four bottles of beer in her hands. “Thought you might wanna take a break.”
“Hey, love. How are you feeling?” I walk over to her and kiss her warm cheek. It still has lines on it from lying on the pillow; she must have just woken up.
“Good, actually. I feel refreshed.” She hands each of us a bottle and uses my t-shirt that she's wearing to crack the cap off hers. “So what are you up to?”
“Just tearing down part of this wall. It’s starting to rot, and we need to replace it before it collapses.” Jeremiah kicks the bottom of the rotted wood on a big section of one of the barn walls.
“Sounds like fun,” she says. “Need any help?”
Alex drops his jaw, Jeremiah furrows his eyebrows, and I grin.
“You wanna help?”
“Well, yeah. So what?” She looks at all of us like it's the nineteenth century and she's telling us she wants to vote or something. “Mr. O'Brien called and asked how much time I wanted off. I said just a few days.” She takes a sip and wipes a little bit off her mouth that escaped her lips.
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