“I’m sorry about all of this. I shouldn’t be long.”
“Doesn’t matter to me. I’m paid to wait.” She couldn’t miss the disappointed look in Olivia’s eyes, but she didn’t know why. Was she supposed to have said yes? To have let them dress her up, in the absence of who they’d really wanted and play the oh-so-bangable driver with Olivia—with “Susie”’—in her clinging red dress. She couldn’t believe that was what Olivia wanted. She might be “just” her driver, but she wasn’t a bloody prop.
Casey stalked back to the car. She didn’t know how Olivia could bear it. The intrusive questions, the being on display, the empty obviousness of it all. Olivia seemed like a great person, but at the same time, this was the life she had willingly chosen for herself. It was hard for her to square that circle. And something about it reminded her of Hannah, of Hannah’s relentless pursuit of fame, money and “influence.” Whatever that meant.
Her mom was right, Hannah had never thought Casey was good enough—joking that Casey was her “bit of rough.” She’d been offended by it then. But she should have embraced it, because it was true. No wonder Olivia had felt the need to make it so clear that Casey wasn’t her girlfriend. And she didn’t even know the rest of it. If she did, she’d have plenty more to disapprove of. Casey let out a curse as she got into the car and slammed the door. She had to care less. Olivia’s opinion of her didn’t matter.
Except it did and that was the problem.
* * *
Olivia had her script on her knee. She’d missed the read-through because of delaying the photoshoot, and missing it made it even less likely she’d get her lines nailed before they started filming. She was reading the words, but the movement of the car—coupled with Casey’s brooding presence next to her—meant nothing was sinking in.
She couldn’t even make herself feel sorry about it. The scene she was prepping had Susie and Phoebe confessing feelings for each other, sitting in a car outside the St. Pancras hotel. Except Susie was not someone who found “feelings” easy, so she was mostly confessing a desire to get Phoebe upstairs and into a hotel room, so she could do what Susie did best.
Olivia was an actress. She’d told Liam to be a pro about kissing Louise, to put all his own feelings on hold, because that’s what acting was. But as she read the script, she felt a real dread at the idea of having to kiss Billie. And the script suggested Phoebe and Susie were going to be doing a lot more than kissing.
Olivia sighed deeply and looked out the window as they passed a small theater. The Ovalhouse. The sign above the main entrance advertised a play she knew well. She had the impulse to go and see it. To ask Casey to go with her so she could pretend they were on a date, pretend she was back in Brooklyn at that cozy little theater she loved that was two blocks from her apartment. The one where she’d made her debut. And maybe she’d take Casey home to meet her parents and they’d fall for her accent and love just how real she was. She shook her head, shook the silliness away. She was a dreamer once, but not anymore.
Next to her, Casey was tapping her fingers against the steering wheel in time to the music Olivia had put on to try to fill the silence. They hadn’t said much at all since leaving the magazine, and Olivia didn’t know what to say to get things back to the way they were before Alice had mistaken Casey for her girlfriend and tried to force her into participating in the shoot. They had been getting on well. Talking easily—flirting even—and it felt good. Really good. She put the script back in her bag with a sigh.
“Have I done something to upset you?” Olivia decided to just ask.
“No, not at all.” Casey turned to her briefly before returning her eyes to the road.
“Are you sure? It seems kind of chilly in here.”
“I can turn down the air conditioning.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Olivia waited. Casey had a stick up her ass about something. She wanted to know what. She wanted them to get along. Badly wanted them to get along. Wanted Casey to go back to being sweet to her, not to be like this. In fact, she hadn’t wanted someone to like her this much in a very long time. And she couldn’t deny that three minutes ago, she’d been mentally introducing Casey to her parents.
“You’ve done nothing.” The words were defiant, but Olivia noticed the slump in Casey’s shoulders as she relaxed them slightly. She waited a beat longer.
“Look, I’m sorry my mom was stupid enough to think you were my girlfriend and I’m sorry that Alice did too. I can understand why that would be embarrassing for you. I don’t want that. I don’t want to embarrass you. Next time, I’ll just wait in the car.”
“Are you serious?”
Casey nodded, eyes fixed to the road ahead of them. Olivia felt an unexpected rush of affection for her.
“First of all, I’m glad your mom thought I was your girlfriend. I mean, how else would I have gotten her to show me those photographs and tell me all those stories.” She turned in her seat so she was facing Casey. “Second of all, it wouldn’t be embarrassing to me if you were my girlfriend.” Olivia felt herself heat up internally as she said it. “Not at all. And I’m mystified as to why you would think it would be.”
She waited for a response.
“I just thought…” Casey moved her hands in front of her, seeming to wave the thought away without completing it. “I’m just happy being the driver who waits in the car. That’s all. Alice annoyed me. I didn’t want my photograph taken and I didn’t want any part of that ‘Susie would totally bang her driver’ crap either. And her questions were stupid and intrusive. I don’t know how you put up with it.”
“I don’t know either.”
Olivia meant it. After Casey had left, Alice had been bold enough to ask her more directly about the sex tape—and then a whole lot more questions about Billie and their onscreen, off-screen relationship. She was getting pretty sick of talking about her. Of talking about all of it. Why wouldn’t they just let her act and ask her about the show? It was why she was there after all. It was funny, but the fans had a much better sense of what was appropriate than the media did.
“I don’t have much choice. There’s a lot of things I love about my job, but the constant questions, the constant intrusion and innuendo, not so much. But I have to put up with the bad bits to enjoy the good bits, so I just suck it up.”
It wasn’t easy. Lately, the endless PR—the way Susie permeated almost every aspect of her life—had been getting to her. At thirty-five, she wanted more for herself.
“I guess I’m just pretty private. I would find it hard.”
“I find it hard too. Like I say, it’s my job.”
Casey didn’t respond. She kept her eyes on the road, the tension back in her shoulders. Olivia didn’t want it to be like this.
“I’m not surprised you said no to being photographed though.” Olivia tried for something lighter. “Even in that pretty little Communion dress, you seemed grouchy about having your picture taken.”
She was happy to see the corner of Casey’s mouth turn up in a small smile.
“The lace on that thing itched like you wouldn’t believe. It would make anyone scowl.”
“You were scowling in a lot of those photos. It can’t always have been the lace.” Olivia meant to tease, but as she said the words, she realized that maybe Casey didn’t have a lot to smile about when she was young. She wanted to take them back.
“I still do. Scowl a lot, I mean. Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed.”
Olivia’s phone rang.
“Oh, I noticed.” She was happy to see Casey smile.
“Are you nearly back at the hotel?” It was Louise. “We finished the run-through. Billie’s gone upstairs to rest—though Liam says she’s fucking rather than resting, but neither of us wants to think about that. They had that writer that everyone says Billie’s involved with read Susie’s lines, and when
she got to the ‘I want to undress you right now’ part, it seemed to get Billie pretty worked up. Anyway, we’re thinking of going out. We wondered if Casey might be able to drive us somewhere, to a bar, a museum—anywhere. We’ve got a couple of hours before we have to do tonight’s interviews and we need to get out of this hotel. My boy here is climbing the walls.” Louise finally stopped speaking. She was a force of nature.
“So you want Casey, but not me?” Olivia teased her.
“Obviously. And I think we both know she’s got no hope of resisting me. No one does.”
Olivia put her thumb over the tiny speaker, muffling Louise, making sure Casey couldn’t hear anything.
“You had better be joking.” Olivia felt something close to panic. The idea of Louise and Casey was not something she wanted to dwell on.
“I might be, I might not be. Though I have been wondering what magical transformation might happen if we got a few drinks inside her, got her to loosen up a bit. I bet she’s a lot of fun when she’s drunk.”
Olivia wanted to say that Casey was fun even when she wasn’t drunk. She had the urge to both defend her—and protect her—from Louise.
“You’ll upset Liam if you keep carrying on like this.” Olivia blurted it out without thinking. There were better things she could have said, but with Casey sitting beside her, she couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t let Casey know that Louise was contemplating getting her drunk enough to seduce her—and that Olivia was absolutely never going to let that happen.
“What’s gonna upset Liam?”
“Nothing, ignore me. Let me ask Casey our ETA. We’re halfway home I think.”
“We’re ten minutes away if the traffic is kind to us.” As Casey spoke, Olivia could hear Louise—away from the phone and luckily for her, completely missing the point—asking Liam if he had the hots for Casey.
“We don’t know how long it’ll take to get back. The traffic might slow us down. Casey said it might be another hour.” Olivia told the white lie, ignoring Casey’s sideways glance.
“I’m not waiting an hour, Liv. We’ll have to go exploring without you. You don’t mind do you? We only have a couple of hours. We’ll waste half that time if we have to wait for you.”
Louise wasn’t giving her the choice, but Olivia was relieved to be able to keep Casey to herself for a little while longer. And to keep Casey away from Louise. Louise had more of a game than even Susie did.
“Of course I don’t mind, Lou. Have fun and stay out of trouble.” Olivia said her good-byes and rang off just as they turned onto the main road that ran parallel to the river. She recognized the route. Casey was right, they were ten minutes from the hotel max.
Casey turned to her with a quizzical expression.
“They wanted you to take them somewhere. I just…” What could she say? “I wanted you to have some time to sort out stuff for your mom.” She was shamed by the fact that it wasn’t true, but Olivia couldn’t exactly say that she wanted more time alone with Casey.
“I’m paid to drive for you. And I’m on duty. If they want to go somewhere, I should take them.” Casey sounded a little annoyed.
“I know, it’s just that I wanted…” Her mind was whirring. If she didn’t stall them from going back, they were going to arrive just as Louise and Liam were departing. She realized where they were. “I wanted to go up there for a visit. And we won’t have time if we go back to get them and they might not even want to do it anyway.”
Olivia pointed at the Shard. London’s tallest building. Casey had pointed it out to them on one of their drives past.
“I’ve got a couple of hours for a visit before I have to get ready for the interviews tonight. Have you?”
Casey looked at her watch. “I made plans to see someone. I was supposed to be off duty at five. But I probably have time for a visit if you don’t stay too long. It’s got parking. I could wait for you there.”
“I thought we could both go up. It’d be nicer to have company, and it’s better than you waiting in the car.” Olivia hoped that was true.
Casey frowned, and Olivia wanted to take back her suggestion. It wasn’t fair of her to ask, because Casey probably felt like she had to say yes. She was their driver and she was being paid to be nice to them. The sooner Olivia got her head wrapped around that dynamic, the less likely she’d be to make a complete fool of herself imagining that Casey spending time with her was anything else.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t drop things on you outside of the schedule. You’ve got plans. Forget I asked. It’s not a quick visit kind of place. There’s a cocktail bar up there that the guidebooks say is a must-see. I don’t want to rush it.”
Olivia felt disappointed. It wasn’t about missing seeing London from the top of the Shard, she didn’t want to think of Casey having a date. But of course she did, she was gorgeous and London was full of women like Louise—like Olivia if she had the courage—who would happily take Casey out. And then take her home. Maybe even to the hotel room just two doors away from her own. She stopped herself from thinking about it.
Casey looked at her, her eyes looking dark in the dim light of the car. “Okay.” She bit her lip. “But I’d like to do that with you, so maybe another time?” The way Casey said it made Olivia feel things—an intensity, a wanting, that she hadn’t felt in years. “I definitely owe you a drink after this morning.”
Olivia simply nodded. She didn’t want to think this was Casey simply paying her back. She wanted instead to believe Casey when she said “I’d like to do that with you” with a look in her eyes that said she did.
“Okay, I’ll consider it a rain check.” Olivia smiled. “Now, put your foot on the gas and let’s see if I can catch up with those friends of mine before they head out looking for trouble. Though I’m guessing Liam won’t be happy to see me if he’s hoping for some alone time with Louise.”
Casey nodded, a pensive expression on her beautiful face. Olivia wanted to reach across and smooth the frown away with her thumb.
“You okay?” Olivia couldn’t help but ask.
“Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about my mom.”
Olivia waited.
“I should be more patient with her. She’s had a tough time. Not just this thing with Neil. Just generally. My dad, my stepdad. She hasn’t been treated well.”
Olivia could see the tension in Casey’s arms as she gripped the steering wheel. They were crawling along in the traffic, barely moving.
“I can’t stand to see her like this, but I’m pretty sure she can’t stand it either. She needs more from me than I give her, more than maybe I can give her.”
When she turned to face Olivia, Casey’s face showed real upset, her eyes clouded with something painful. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out a hand and placing it on Casey’s arm. She felt a shiver in her own body that was matched by a faint vibrating in the muscles in Casey’s arm.
“You’re here now. You don’t have to be.” It was all Olivia could think of. It didn’t feel like enough.
The traffic began to move in front of them and Casey shifted the SUV into gear.
“We’re moving. You might well catch up with them. Maybe there’s still time to cramp Liam’s style.”
Casey was obviously forcing herself to seem more cheerful. Olivia wanted to tell her not to, to tell her that she could talk to her, whenever she wanted to, however she needed to. But she didn’t. She simply nodded. They were practically strangers. Casey had friends, she had plans. She didn’t need Olivia to intrude in her life.
She sank back in her seat as they entered the narrow cobbled street running next to the river that would eventually lead them to the hotel. She wasn’t going to try to find Lou and Liam, she was going to let herself have a swim and half an hour in the sauna. And she was going to try not to spend that time thinking about how much Casey had come to matter to her in
such a ridiculously short space of time.
Chapter Eleven
Don’t.” Olivia said the word without opening her mouth, keeping her body still, not wanting to attract attention. But her tone made it crystal clear that Billie should stop what she was doing.
“I know you don’t mean that.” Billie’s voice was teasing, sensual as she let her fingertips graze the back of Olivia’s neck.
Olivia reached behind her to lift Billie’s hand away from its position on the back of her chair.
“I said don’t. So don’t, okay?” Olivia gave Billie a hard stare. If they hadn’t been sitting side by side in a hotel room, a camera trained on them, waiting for the first of the morning’s interviewers to come in and get them started, Olivia would have said and done a lot more to let Billie know how out of order she was.
What she wanted to do was walk. Walk out of the room, walk away from Billie’s stupid flirtations and walk away from the day’s obligations. Walk until she found the river and then get on one of the boats that drifted by. She’d call Casey and ask her to join her, and she’d leave Susie trapped in this hotel room with Billie and the succession of journalists who were going to be asking them the same questions over and over all morning. But Olivia couldn’t walk out. As she’d explained to Casey, this was the price she paid for the privilege of being able to act for a living.
“We’re supposed to have chemistry and this is supposed to be fun. I’m just getting us in the mood.” She smiled at Olivia. “It’s gonna be a long morning otherwise.”
“It’s gonna be a long morning anyway, and I don’t like to be touched without permission, okay?” Olivia hoped that the microphones they were wearing weren’t picking up any of their conversation.
“Don’t be such a hard-ass, Olivia. I know you and I know this is your thing, playing a little hard to get. That’s fine, but you should know that I haven’t yet done a show where the person playing opposite me hasn’t fallen for my charms, so you might as well stop fighting it.” Billie’s voice was light. She had to be joking, but her arrogance made it hard to tell.
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