by Dina Silver
“I’m not really comfortable with any of this, but there’s a part of me that wants to talk to her and see if she knows what he’s done.” I paused. “And there’s another part of me that wants her to know about it, in the event he chose not to tell her.”
My mom understood. I took the phone into my bathroom and dialed Mrs. Hansen’s number.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hi, Lynne, it’s Sydney Shephard.”
“Why hello, Sydney, what a lovely surprise, is everything alright with Grace?”
“Grace is doing really well, thank you,” I swallowed. “Uh, I received a letter from Kevin yesterday; well, from his lawyers actually.”
“His lawyers?” she asked, taken aback.
“Yes, he’s seeking joint custody of Grace,” I told her, and waited about eight seconds before she spoke.
“Sydney, I had no idea,” she said slowly.
“Do you know why he might be doing this to us, now, after all this time?”
I heard her make a regretful noise on the other end, and I felt mildly sorry for involving her, but selfishly happy about the phone call Kevin would soon get from her.
“Kevin was recently engaged, and his fiancé is unable to bear children.” Her words left me stunned. “She must be behind this, Sydney. She is a wonderful girl, but I cannot imagine Kevin going about this on his own volition.”
A bomb went off in my brain, and I began shaking with rage. “She can’t have a baby, so she wants mine?!” I blurted out.
“I am only guessing, have you tried calling him?”
“No, I haven’t.” I was enraged, and my voice was representative of it.
“Perhaps he’s had a change of heart, and would like to do the right thing by Grace?” she said hopefully then paused, but I could not speak. “I’m sorry you’re upset, dear, I will speak to him for you, and if there is anything I can do to help I will.”
Do right by Grace? Was she on crack? My voice exploded into the phone. “You can make him drop this case!” I shouted, not remotely concerned with who I was talking to. I could have cared less that Kevin’s kind, generous mother was doing her best to keep her composure and assure me that everything would work out. I was livid.
“Sydney, you have my word…” she began, but I cut her off.
“You tell him that I have hired the best, most expensive lawyer in the city of Chicago to handle this, and that he better drop this lawsuit or neither of you will ever see Grace again!”
My mother burst into the room and snatched the phone from my hand. “Hello, hello, this is Sydney’s mother, Judy Shephard, I am so sorry…”
My entire body was shaking, and my heart was pounding so fast, that it felt like I’d just finished running a marathon. Ethan stood in the doorway and aggressively waved me out of the bathroom. I tried to stand, but my legs were like gummy worms. He lifted my arm and led me to the couch.
“What the hell happened?” he asked. “His wife is trying to take Grace from me!”
“He’s married?”
“He’s engaged, she can’t have kids, and this barren bitch is trying to take Grace instead!”
“Stop yelling, first of all, look at yourself, you need to get a major grip,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Ethan, do you have any idea what I am saying?” My eyes were flames, there was no moisture in them whatsoever, and blinking was nearly impossible. The frenzy had literally consumed me. “Kevin still has no interest in any sort of relationship with Grace! But his fiancé probably sees some sort of consolation prize in the fact that he already has a daughter for the taking,” I said and began to pace.
My mother came out of my bathroom in her own fury. “I realize you are upset, but that gives you no right to yell at this poor woman,” she said in a familiar tone from my childhood. “You are acting like a complete brat, when you should be acting like a woman and a mother. I expect you to call Kevin’s mother back and apologize for yourself,” she pointed to the phone then put her hands on her hips. “I made an attempt to do it for you, but it’s not sufficient as far as I’m concerned. She was very forgiving and understanding, but she deserved your respect, and you should be ashamed of your behavior just now. Learn how to handle yourself when you are tested, Sydney, be smart about this!” she threw her hands up.
My mother’s words snapped me out of my fog, and into one of immediate regret. I looked at her face, filled with her own frustration, and disappointment in me. I began to sob uncontrollably, my limbs still shaking. Mom apologized to Ethan for having to be part of the drama, then walked over to me and gave me a good solid hug.
“Everything is going to be fine, no one is going to take Grace away from you. But you have to be strong for her.”
I couldn’t speak, I was so scared, and the fact that some strange woman was the impetus behind the whole thing made it worse.
“Let it all out, Sydney, and then you are going to have to put on a brave face and get through this the right way,” my mom said, and pulled away to look me in the eyes. “Okay?”
I nodded.
She and Ethan looked at each other. “I have to go, and I trust that Ethan will keep you in line while I’m not here,” she joked.
“My pleasure, Mrs. Shephard,” he said.
“Thank you, Ethan…and for you,” she looked back at me, “I expect you to get on with your life, be grateful for everyone who loves you, let your lawyer do his job, and take care of your daughter,” she said and raised a finger. “And you call that woman back and apologize.”
“What did Mrs. Hansen say?” I asked.
“She said that she would call Kevin and try to get some answers.” “Thanks, Mom,” I said.
In that moment, I was ashamed of myself, just as she said I should be.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Almost two weeks after my first meeting with Greg Rosenberg, he called me on a Friday afternoon. The results of the paternity test were back, and to no one’s surprise, Kevin was the father.
“Should we send him a baby gift?” I asked Ethan.
“Absolutely.”
“Greg said that all of the paperwork has been filed on our end, and that he’s just waiting to hear back from Kevin’s lawyer. He told me that we sent a motion to have the whole thing dropped based on the fact that Kevin has made no contact, and that he verbally told me he wanted nothing to do with Grace before she was born.”
“When does he expect to hear back?”
“He said it could take a while, that he doesn’t have a time limit,” I said and walked to the kitchen.
“Everything’s going to work out, Syd.”
“I hope so.”
Ethan grabbed Grace’s diaper bag, because we were driving up north to drop her at my parents’ house, and he and I were going to a party at the Gold’s. Taylor was in town for work to attend a My Cousin Vinny movie premiere, and was assigned to the task of carrying a sweater for Marisa Tomei in case she needed it. She didn’t.
My mom opened the front door as we pulled into the driveway.
“Excited to babysit?” I asked her.
“Come inside, I need to talk to you,” she said and waved us in the house. Ethan took Grace into the den where my father was sitting, and I followed my mom into the kitchen.
“What’s up?”
She sat on one of the stools at the island and pulled another one out for me. “I spoke with Kevin’s mom about fifteen minutes ago,” she told me.
“You called her?”
“No, I had given her my number when I spoke with her at your apartment,” she said and lowered her chin but kept her eyes on me. “She told me she never heard from you.”
I did feel badly that I yelled at Kevin’s mother, but I was still bitter about being legally attacked by her son, and hadn’t felt the immediate need to make amends. “Is that why she called you, to tell on me?”
Mom leveled her chin. “No, something much better,” she smiled. “Kevin is dropping the lawsuit.”
/> “What?!”
“She told me that she spoke with him alone, and then together with his fiancé, and that they aren’t going to pursue joint custody of Grace.”
I was stunned to be hearing this news from my mother. I had hoped and expected it to come in a phone message from Greg Rosenberg, Esq.
“My lawyer hasn’t said anything, in fact, he just confirmed Kevin’s paternity today, about two hours ago.”
Mom took a sip of her lemon water. “Well, I’m sure he’ll be hearing something soon enough. I just spoke with her, and she promised me.”
“Oh lord, I’ve got you two mother hens on the phone making promises, when the legal team of Field & McBride is still going for my jugular.”
“I think you have every right to believe what she told me, Sydney,” she straightened her posture in defense. “Why don’t you call her for yourself, you owe her a call anyway,” Mom said, brows raised.
“Give me the phone.”
My mom handed me the phone, and scrolled Mrs. Hansen’s number on a pink post-it note. “I’ll be in the den,” she said and walked out.
I studied the number for a moment before dialing the phone.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hi, Lynne, it’s Sydney.”
“Hello, dear, I’m sure you’ve talked with your mom by now, and she told you the news.”
I paced the floor. “Yes, she did, and I was obviously thrilled to hear that, but I’m a little concerned since I haven’t had any sort of confirmation from my lawyer.”
She cleared her throat. “I can understand your concern, but I assure you that Kevin has no intention of dragging this out any further. Apparently, it was not something he was very interested in doing in the first place.”
No shock to me, I thought.
“Well, he should have thought of that before I was forced to hire a lawyer and endure this mental torture,” I said calmly, but I could not help myself. Hearing her voice made me want to lash out. It made me wish that it was Kevin on the line, and that I could let him have it, like he deserved. I realized then how much pent-up anger and bitterness I was carrying around.
“I know, dear, I’m sorry you had to be put through that scare.”
I took a deep breath. “I know you are, and I owe you an apology as well. I had no right to take my anger towards Kevin out on you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I hope you know how much I appreciate your eagerness to be in Grace’s life.”
“Thank you, that is nice of you to say, and despite Kevin’s behavior, he is my son and I love him,” she told me. “And if he ever does decide to become a part of Grace’s life, he will have my full support. You will understand one day.”
I was nodding, even though she couldn’t see me. “Thank you for your hand in all of this, something tells me I have you to thank specifically for talking Kevin and his fiancé out of this lawsuit.”
“Well, I think they just came to the realization that their plan wasn’t very well thought out, prior to them taking legal action. And they certainly would’ve had to move away from California if they wanted joint custody, now wouldn’t they?”
“So it was the Chicago winters that deterred them?”
She chuckled. “A little bit of mother, and a little bit of mother nature.”
“Thanks, Lynne.”
“We’ll talk soon.”
“Okay, bye,” I said and immediately dialed Greg Rosenberg. There was no answer, so I left a lengthy message on his voice mail.
“Hi Greg, it’s Sydney Shephard. I just spoke with Kevin’s mother, Lynne Hansen, and she has told me that Kevin plans on dropping his petition for joint custody. That he doesn’t think he’d win, and he doesn’t think it’s worth pursuing any longer. Is there any possible way you could confirm this with his lawyer so my family and I can celebrate and enjoy the weekend? Thank you so much!”
Ethan walked up with a huge grin on his face. “I heard the great news,” he said and kissed the top of my head.
“I know, I just wish I’d heard it from the lawyers. You know what I mean?”
“Yes, but it sounds like everything is fine. Did you call his mom?”
“I did, and she said he’s backing off.”
Ethan sat down on the stool next to me. “I think we should celebrate.”
Everyone was so optimistic and certain, why couldn’t I be? “Okay,” I said. “I think you’re right.”
He leaned on the island with his forearm. “Let’s stop by Taylor’s and then go grab dinner, just the two of us.”
I nodded.
“Don’t you dare start crying on me, Sydney Shephard.”
I fell forward into his chest. Nothing made me feel better than being buried in those arms of his. I closed my eyes and hoped that our legal mess was behind us. Grace would never know what her father had put my family through, and the pain he’d inflicted on me for no reason at all. I hated Kevin by then, and had no intention of ever mentioning his name in our household. I could only pray that one day, Grace would understand.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
grace
It was August, 2009, and I was about to start college at my mother’s alma mater. She was giddy about the opportunities to visit her old stomping grounds and watering holes, and I was eager for my freedom. Not that I disliked anything about my home or family, simply because I couldn’t wait to be on my own, with no one to look after me.
I wondered if my California relatives had told my father that I was going to Purdue. I wished I could ask them. I thought about him often that summer before my freshman year of college, and I grew more and more determined to see him. There I was, attending the same school where he and my mother were friends for so many years. He would certainly find that interesting, wouldn’t he? I’d matured enough to know that I wanted to find him. I wanted to have a visual image of him, a history of his adult years, and an understanding of who he had become. I just hadn’t matured enough to pick up the phone and call him.
My mom had information that belonged to me. She knew my real father, his personality, his intellect, his facial structure, and as I got older, I felt entitled to that knowledge. Over the years, I’d formulated my own opinion of him, based solely on what I thought someone who produced half of me would be like. Handsome, smart, strong. He probably ran a company or worked somewhere that required him to wear a suit and tie every day. Or maybe he was more of a casual executive, in khaki pants and rolled up sleeves.
It always bothered me that my mom never sat me down and discussed him. Didn’t she think I would want to know more about him? I mean, even if she hated him, which I would also love to know, wouldn’t it occur to her that I should be allowed to formulate my own opinion? Maybe I would hate him too, and we could sit around and bad mouth him together. But instead, she left it up to me to paint a picture of him in my head, so I painted a favorable one, of course. This only made her look crazy, because how could she dislike this strong, handsome businessman?
“What’s my father like?” I ambushed her in the laundry room one day as we were packing my bags for school. lt’d been a while since I’d broached the subject, but she knew who I meant.
“Grace, why are you asking me that?”
“Because I want to know, obviously.” I jumped up and sat on the dryer.
She was folding Patch’s favorite Bears jersey. “He’s tall,” she smiled and glanced at the top of my head.
Her answer was intended to shut me up, but it only pissed me off. “Why can’t I know more about him?”
“There’s not much to tell.”
“Either he’s a serial killer and lives in a straight jacket, or he’s so entirely fabulous and broke your heart so badly that you can’t bear to say his name without a box of Kleenex around.” It was a little harsh, but she deserved it.
She looked up at me, with a hint of moisture in her eyes that caught me off guard. “You have an amazing dad who loves you, and you should be ashamed of how your acting,” she said quietly.
I felt only a shred of remorse. “Mom, if you would just put yourself in my shoes, and tell me the things I want to know, I wouldn’t be acting this way.”
“It’s always my fault,” she whined.
I hopped off and pushed past her into the garage, then stormed outside. I walked over to Chloe’s house and we sat around and spent the afternoon trying to decide whether my father was George Clooney or Ben Affleck.
“Ben Affleck is taller,” Chloe remarked.
“George is cuter though. However I think he’s much older than my mom.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Your father is definitely Ben Affleck,” she concluded. “Won’t he be thrilled to meet you one day?”
We laughed. “Who are we kidding,” I said. “My mom could never get Ben Affleck.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
The day I met my father, I was twenty-two years old, the same age my mom was when she gave birth to me. I’d just graduated college, and a month prior to meeting him; she’d given me his phone number, and said I should be the one to call him. I didn’t know at the time that she’d already emailed him that I would be doing so. She still never trusted him to do the right thing by me, and was always going out of her way to make sure I never felt slighted.
I was anxious to make the call, but kept my expectations low, as my mother reminded me to do a thousand times. Kevin was at his office when I reached him for the very first time, and I heard him excuse himself in the background.
“Hi, Grace,” his voice was deep.
“Hi, Kevin.”
“How are you?” he asked me like a grandfather would ask a distant grandchild.
“I’m good,” I said, then paused. “I was wondering if you would consider meeting me one day next month?”
“I’d be happy to.”
“I’m sure you know, your mom is flying me out there as a college graduation gift, and I told her that I would like to try and see you while I’m there.”