by R G Berube
Hadrian became even more withdrawn. I was particularly anxious for his health and begged him to be attended by his physician, but he refused. Even Lucius Commodus could not convince him to seek medical attention. Hadrian believed that only by divine intervention would he bring an end to his affliction. It was to this purpose that he arranged to be taken by ferry to a remote location some distance up-river from Hermopolis Magna. There, a hermit and holy man was said to live, one who’se magic and powers to heal were held in high esteem.
Hadrian had become weakened by the return of terrifying nightmares; those horrid shapes of dying children clinging to the milk less breasts of mothers whose eyes bore deeply into his. Their pain penetrated to his soul with the accusation of their loss. His eyes lacked the luster they once held and his cheeks became sunken, giving him the appearance of added years. Traces of blood again appeared on his bedding and in my closeness to him an aroma akin to death could be smelled upon his breath. I fully recognized that relief of a drastic measure was in need. Arriving at the appointed time, we were ferried past a small settlement of mud huts built near the river’s bank. Unlike the grand cities of Alexandria, Thebes, Babylon or Hermopolis, Hir-Wer was the truest representation of the condition of the land and its people. There were no temples or ziggurats, no grand colonnades save the remnants of the ancient temple of Rameses II looming in the distance. There was no thriving bazaar to be seen or heard for all signs of luxury which the land enjoyed were absent here. The village was marked by toil and deprivation. By nightfall the location of the hermit’s shack appeared at a bend in the river, and there we landed without the usual crowds that had accompanied the Emperor on his travels. It was a solemn place, simple and deserted.
“Allow me to see what this is all about,” Commodus suggested, being suspect of possibility of ambush. “This place does not seem to be too promising, Hadrian. What do you hope to learn?”
“This man is one of some repute, Lucius. Satisfy your curiosity. Take one of the guards and return quickly.” I moved to follow, but Hadrian held me back.
“Stay with me. I want you close!”
These words raised my apprehension and I too, became suspect of the location. Soon Lucius returned with assurance that all was well and the hermit was waiting. We entered the mud hut and sat on an earthen floor with only the light from the cooking hearth to illuminate the interior. Seated on a wooden stool, the hermit motioned for our party to find places where they could. Hadrian was given the only remaining stool and he brought it close to the old man’s side.
“I am told you have some power, old one. What do I call you?”
“I go by no name. I have need of none for my solitary existence posses no necessity. What is it that you seek? I can see that much troubles you, as would any ruler. But there is more than that position and title which brings you here.”
Hadrian leaned close to him and in the light of the fire they appeared as two confidants engaged in crafting a plot.
“I have a charge, old man. I have much to do!
In this land much is demanded of me. I wish guidance, for the challenge that Egypt lays at my feet is beyond my mortal abilities. My body ails and denies me. You are a healer. Tell me what must be done, for there is need to follow tradition and satisfy rituals. Others before you have given advice. Tell me what you can?”
Hadrian’s face reflected the leaping flames and the walls of the hut danced with shadows. Outside, the night was deathly still save the plaintive sound of an owl some distance away. Like a soothing voice, the river water brushed against the bank in rhythmic waves. I noticed myself
becoming drugged in some strange fashion, and saw that the others were experiencing the same effect. The old man spoke quietly, hypnotically, directing the Emperor’s attention to himself until Hadrian seemed relaxed and at peace. I noticed that the hermit had himself gone into some form of trance. So many times before in similar circumstances I had felt the heavy hand of magic and with a variety of rituals, soothsayers had created a most compelling event. There was no sign of magic or of the supernatural divination here. All was simplicity. No smoke-filled room clouded our vision. No amulets or sacrificial animal spilled its blood. No subterranean cavern echoed the sounds of spirits!
“There is one close to you...,” the hermit began speaking. “He shall be your salvation! The thing you ask will be given you, but at the cost of your most dear possession. The time is at hand for all to change.
“Trust that all that must happen will happen..., for it was begun long ago and like the course of the stars, its beginning was its end!”
The old man’s voice, his words, invaded me and very part of my being understood the meaning. I was caressed by sound and lifted from myself, no longer feeling the cold earth beneath me. I was alone with no barriers to confine my being, filled with understanding and resolve. All became clear!
I cannot say how long it took for me to come to my senses, but I became aware that I was the only one still sitting. I knew more had been said, but I had not heard. My spirit had been taken elsewhere. Hadrian was waiting at the door, his form darkly outlined against a moonless sky. I stood, acutely aware that I was center of attention.
“Come, Antinoos,” he called to me. “Our time here is finished.”
Curious of what had transpired between them, I walked beside him, waiting for him to relate the event. Lucius had gone ahead to prepare the ferry for departure.
“But what was said?” I asked.
“Much, and similar to Pancrates’ words.” I feared his tone. Did he know what was in my heart?
“I love and need you, Antinoos. There is much here that points to you and this makes me fear for you. Promise me you will observe the greatest care for your well-being, for there are signs that give me great concern.”
I stopped before we embarked and looked at him with the deepest affection.
“I promise I will never leave your side for as long as you want me, Hadrian. I shall be with you always!”
The ferry moved into the middle of the river and following the instructions given by the hermit, we anchored to spend the night in prayer and silence. I took two measures of wine from a skin that the old man had given Hadrian as a gift. Hadrian held my hand so tightly that it seemed he understood what was about to happen. Lulled by the ferry’s movement upon the water, and with the help of the heady wine which had been passed to all as a guard against the early morning dampness of the river, all fell into sleep. Hadrian’s grasp relaxed. I rose. Placing my lips upon his, I touched him lightly and bid him farewell. I made my way out of the cabin and observing all sentries asleep at their posts, lowered myself into the tiny craft that had been lashed to the side of the ferry and allowed myself to be taken by the current of the river. The new day was about to break and with it, the festival of the Nile would be celebrated in commemoration of Osiris’ death. The craft slid silently along with the current. Approaching the tiny village we had passed that afternoon, I saw a shallow place on the opposite shore and made my way there to land. The water was cold. I knew the shock would be brief if I did the thing correctly. Setting the little craft back into the current to find its own destination, I disrobed and placed my cloak and sandals upon the bank. Taking a deep and final breath, I walked into the river.
About The Author
Raymond G. Berube, M.Ed. is a teacher, author, therapist currently living in Aachen Germany with his partner of more than 25 years. He has studied hypnosis, NLP, and Stress Management. Raymond has trained with Dr. Milton H Erikson, and with Dr.Piero Ferrucci of Florence, Italy in 1986 while there doing research for a novel about Emperor Hadrian, on sale with Amazon. At present he is a tutor of English to young people and also teaches English as a second language to adults. He has been involved with Spiritualism and mediumship in the past, resulting in two books titled You, The Medium, and Simon Speaks. He has also authored several novels and collections of short stories, all available at Amazon books.
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R G Berube, Antinoos and Hadrian