When It Was Us (Sage Hill Series Book 1)

by Larissa Weatherall

  He sucked in a deep breath and walked up the sidewalk to knock.

  Layla answered the door, hands firmly planted on her hips. “I thought I said I wasn’t letting you see her. You’re not the first one I’ve had to protect her from, and I’m not afraid to do it now.”

  Drew hated being compared to Mason, but he wouldn’t challenge Layla. She blocked the door like a momma bear whose cubs were in danger.

  Begging seemed his only option here. He rested his hand on the brick doorway, eyes pleading for sympathy she’d probably ignore. “Come on, Layla. I really need to see her.”

  She opened the door a bit wider but still hadn’t extended an invitation inside. “Look, I know you have a right to be…upset about what happened.”

  “Did everyone know about this except me?” He scrubbed a hand through his hair and down his face.

  “I drove her there that night, stupid. Of course I know about it.”

  “So why did you drive her that night? Why not take her home and let her pass out?”

  “She’s my best friend, and she asked me to. But, honestly, I wanted her to either find out there was something still between the two of you or be completely over you. One way or the other.”

  She wasn’t over him?

  “What does that mean, Layla?”

  “She’d been talking non-stop about you ever since I’d known her. After the break up, she couldn’t say your name for a while without crying, but you were always in the back of her mind. It’s like her stories or our conversations always ended up with you…no matter what we were talking about. I knew she always wondered what if, and I thought maybe she needed to chase it.”

  Drew dropped a hand to Layla’s shoulder, ready to run past her if that’s what it took. “Okay, so now we’re living our what if. So can I please come in the house and talk to her?”

  Layla glared, obviously still considering turning him away, as Ryan joined them in the entryway. “Let the man in, honey. He’s trying to make it right. Give him a chance.”

  Drew shot her a questioning look. She rolled her eyes but motioned him inside. With a nod of approval, Ryan walked into the garage, leaving Drew with his very tiny but still very angry wife.

  They moved toward the living room. Drew took a seat on what was probably the ugliest but most comfortable couch he’d ever seen.

  “So where’s Anna?”

  “Asleep. She was exhausted when she got here yesterday after being up all night thinking about how to tell you something she knew you’d hate. If you want to see her, you can be patient and let her rest.”

  “I’ll wait.” He sighed, running his palms over his jeans. “Hate is an understatement to how I feel about it and how I reacted to her telling me, but I’m sure you already know that.”

  “Yeah, probably couldn’t have handled it any worse.” She slapped him on the back, and he winced. “But she’s so happy with you. The way she looks at you, or when she even speaks your name, it’s just…I don’t even really know how to explain it, but that it’s with the awe of someone who’s still in love with the first boy she ever kissed.”

  Drew swallowed back the lump in his throat. He knew that look, and damn did he love it. The piercing sparkles in those green eyes shone love like he’d never felt before.

  Layla brought him a cup of coffee then joined her husband outside, leaving Drew to his thoughts.

  What happened between Luke and Anna could never matter more than being with her, and the more he drilled it down in his mind, the more he realized what really made him angry was the circumstance itself. The pain she went through in her divorce she never should have experienced. He missed years of calling her his Sunshine, showing her how much he loved her. He missed being by her side as they graduated and started their careers. He missed being the first man to propose and watch her coming down the aisle toward him, taking her on her first honeymoon, and buying their dream house together. He missed out on so many moments over the years that they could have shared together, while she married him and he cheated on her.

  Drew found the guest room down the hall and slowly peeked inside. The paisley curtains were pulled, the room dark. Her body curled in a little ball on the bed. He smiled at the peaceful expression on her beautiful face, gently covered her with a blanket, then took a seat on a chair in the corner.

  His head rested against the soft fabric, eyes falling closed as he mulled over the words to repair the damage this latest storm had caused their relationship.

  “Drew?” Anna sat up in bed, clutching the blanket to her chest like a bulletproof vest.

  He’d drifted to sleep but blinked the grogginess quickly away. “Hi.”

  “What are you doing here? How did you even know where I was?”

  “I tried calling you, but your phone was in the truck.”

  She stared down at her hands clasped in her lap. “Yeah, I wondered about that.”

  “When you weren’t at your parents’ or Beth’s, I called Layla.” He leaned forward in the chair, elbows resting on his knees. “It was the only other place I thought you’d go.”

  She gazed up from the bed, anger fighting with the hurt in her eyes. “Okay, so why are you here?”

  “Because I need to talk to you. Because I…”

  “We both know what you want, so let’s just do it, right now.” Anna stood to the side of the bed. It took Drew several seconds of watching her fling open her shirt buttons to realize what she meant.

  “Anna, what are you doing?” he shouted, jumping from the chair.

  “You said I would sleep with everyone else in the world except for you, so let’s…let’s get it over with.” She finished with the buttons, throwing the plaid shirt to the floor.

  “That’s not exactly what I said.” Not the point, but coherent thought was impossible while she took off her clothes. Her black lace bra was on full display now while Drew tried to keep his gaze on her face instead of wondering if what was under her jeans matched. Pissed off and sassy Anna had always been hot as hell.

  She tilted her head, a mock confused expression on her face. “So you didn’t say I’d sleep with everyone except for you?”

  “Yes, but…”

  “Well, okay then, let’s do this.” She reached down, unbuttoning her jeans, fingers on the zipper.

  Drew leaped across the room, grabbing her hands. He stifled a groan when his fingers grazed her skin. That definitely wouldn’t help his case.

  “Anna, stop,” he whispered.

  Tears filled her lids, but she blinked them away. Stronger than she ever gave herself credit for. “Why, Drew? Sex is what you want, right? So I’m giving it to you, right now.”

  “No, sweetheart.”

  “Are you sure? Because maybe that’s all you ever really wanted. Maybe you only continued to think about me over the years because we never slept together.” A tear escaped, rolling down her cheek. “Sex is all that ever matters. It’s worth losing everything for, right?”

  Did she actually believe that? Standing face to face, his hands on her bare stomach, he searched her eyes for a long moment. It was still there, the imprint Mason’s affair branded on her because he’d been willing to give up everything for a night with someone else. They would never escape him. His part in Anna’s life would always exist no matter how hard Drew tried to wish it away.

  But also shining back at him through those green eyes was the look Layla mentioned earlier in the living room. The look from the first girl to ever steal his heart, the girl who’d had it all along.

  He cupped her face in his hands. “Anna, you know that’s not true.”

  “Do I?”

  “I hate what happened, but I love you, and that’s all that matters.” His hands moved to her lower back and the silky skin there. He leaned his forehead against hers. “I just want to be with you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  Drew’s eyes squeezed shut, trying his best not to stare down at her perfect cleavage. “Now can you please put your shirt back on so we
can talk?”

  He grabbed the shirt from the floor, placing it in her hands. She stared down at it, then across to the evidence of just how much she affected him. Another second of her eyes on him would break the weak hold he had on his self-control.

  “What’s wrong?” Anna bit that damn lower lip, driving him over the top insane. “You just said you didn’t want to sleep with me?

  “Well of course I want to. I am a man.” He smirked, causing her nervous laughter. “But I definitely don’t want the words ‘let’s just do this’ or ‘let’s get it over with’ to be what you say before it happens.”

  She burst out in laughter, Drew’s whole body relaxing with the sound. A sound he hoped meant they’d weathered yet another storm scratched, but still whole.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Anna

  Anna’s shoulder brushed Drew’s as they sat silently on the bed. Clearly, neither knew how to start the conversation.

  What happened between Luke and her was unthinkable, and Drew had every right to be upset. The alcohol and broken heart were no excuse. On top of the betrayal, the two people he cared about most in the world kept something so earth shattering from him.

  Could he really get past it? If she and Luke continued working together, would this eat away at him and force them apart in the end?

  Her stomach twisted in one of those extra tight Boy Scout knots Drew and Luke practiced for hours. The boys would sit at the table in Anna’s tree house while she and Allison poured them pretend tea. She missed her friend every day but knew it didn’t compare to what Luke still carried with him.

  Anna sucked in a deep breath and turned to face the beautiful man she couldn’t bear to lose again. “Drew, I…I'm sorry for what happened with Luke, and I’m sorry I kept it from you. I should have told you sooner.”

  “You probably should have,” he said quietly, forcing out a breath and looking to the ceiling.

  “I was afraid…afraid I’d lose you again.” The stupid tears stung her eyes again without her permission. This sad pathetic version of herself ended today, one way or another.

  “Anna,” he practically growled, “will you ever believe I want to be with you? That I’m not sitting around waiting to leave you?”

  “I do believe that, but put yourself in my shoes. Really think about what you would have done. Would you have told me?”

  Drew stared down at his hands, then turned to her with a heavy sigh.

  “There is something I never told you.”

  That Boy Scout knot unraveled, and nausea took over.

  He continued. “It's something I kept from you, because I didn't want to hurt you, so I can sort of understand why…”

  The phrase curiosity killed the cat ran though her head, but instead of listening, she asked the question. “What is it?”

  “The day we broke up in college…do you remember asking if there was someone else?” His eyebrows threaded together, and he cringed like he already wanted to take back the words.

  Anna’s hands balled into fists before she even realized it was happening. Her words came out through gritted teeth. “I remember everything about that day.”

  “There wasn't someone else, but there was a kiss. About a week before we broke up, a girl kissed me at a party.” He jumped to his feet, facing her.

  How was she supposed to respond to that? It had been years. But her heart still dropped to her toes thinking this particular girl might have been something to him. That he’d left Anna for her.

  Just like Mason left her for…

  “It was nothing,” Drew practically shouted. His raised brows said he knew where her thoughts had gone. “She kissed me, and I pushed her away. I never even saw her again after that night, but I…after, I hated myself. You and I had been together since…my entire life…you were my first kiss, the only girl I’d ever wanted to kiss, to touch, and even if I didn’t want to kiss that girl, I couldn’t convince myself I wouldn’t someday. Just like my dad. Although apparently, I was completely wrong about that too.”

  The conversation had taken a turn Anna never saw coming. Stunned, she could only nod in acknowledgement.

  He paced in front of her. His nervousness would’ve been adorable under different circumstances. “I couldn't bring myself to tell you about the kiss. I hated the tears streaming down your face, hated myself for hurting you. I didn't want to leave you, but I was so afraid of ruining a marriage we didn’t even have yet. So I ended things between us, even though it broke me inside.”

  He knelt in front of her. Warm palms pressed into the tops of her hands. His eyes pleaded for understanding. “I couldn't hurt you any more by telling you about the kiss. I couldn't do it. I didn't think you needed to know.”

  She’d been a mess that day, could still remember every excruciating second. The memories never faded from the moment her whole world started to fall apart and then every word, every single action after.

  “So you kissed someone while we were still together,” she said, a statement not a question.

  “Yes.” He pulled in a deep breath. “I did not sleep with her, but I kissed her, and I didn't tell you. So the rational part of me can see why you didn't tell me about what happened between you and…We weren't together, and you didn't think we would be again.”

  Drew was angry but a little more rational than she expected. Anna tread lightly with her next question. “So Luke already talked to you about this? He did a little reasoning with you before you came up here, didn’t he?”

  His entire body stiffened. “Maybe he did, and maybe he has a black eye today to show for it.”

  “You punched him!”

  His arms flung out in both directions. “Of course I punched him! Are you kidding me?”

  Drew rejoined her on the bed. She reached over slowly, afraid he might push her away. Gently, she ran her fingers along the stubble of his jaw, and his eyes closed in response to her touch.

  “If I could take it back, if I could go back and not be there in that moment with him, you know I would do it,” she whispered.

  His eyes opened, and her heart fell to pieces with the tears that shimmered there. She tried speaking again, but he placed his thumb over her bottom lip.

  “I know you would. It’s just…that one night could have changed it all. If I hadn’t missed your call, if I had called you back sooner, or if Luke hadn’t been there…it could have all been different.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I would have told you how much I missed you and made you believe I still loved you. I could have stopped you from marrying Mason and him hurting you the way he did. It all would have been different.” He grabbed both her hands, pulling her onto his lap. “We wouldn’t have missed all this time. We could have been together, and I could have saved you from him.”

  Saved her? How could he blame himself for the choices she’d made?

  “Marrying Mason was my choice. I got hurt, but it was my decision.”

  He looked down at their joined hands, not meeting her eyes. “So while we’re on the subject. Why did you go back to him?”

  “Because I loved him. I know it's not what you want to hear, but we were together for a long time, and I believed he loved me too. It wasn’t always bad.”

  “I like to think it was.” Drew nudged her side with a smirk.

  “You’re right. That night could have changed it all, but it also could have led to us not working out then and not having the chance we have now.”

  He pulled her close, her head resting against his chest. “I’m always going to be jealous as hell that he got all those firsts I’ll never have.”

  “There are still plenty of firsts we can experience together.” She pulled back, looking into those warm chocolate brown eyes.

  “And I want every single one of them.”

  “So can you forgive me?” she asked.

  He nodded, kissing her forehead. “And about what I said. I didn’t mean it the way it came out. That’s not really how I feel. I wa
s pissed that…that you…that Luke…” He paused, frustrated. “Anna, I’m not Mason. I’ll never hurt you again. Not willingly. Nothing else matters except being with you for the rest of my life.”

  She sucked in a breath. It was the first time he’d mentioned the future in a serious way, and even if it scared the living daylights out of her, she wanted it.

  “Now, can I please kiss you?” He brushed her ear with his lips, causing a full body shiver.

  She leaned back on the bed, pulling him by the front of his t-shirt. His kiss was more tender than she’d ever felt. Slow and reverent.

  The past was in the past. Anna would never again doubt Drew’s love for her.

  Still one question lingered in the back of her mind. Drew hated that Mason had hurt her, but how much did he hate that she’d loved someone else and chosen to marry him at all? And more importantly, could he actually get past it?

  ***

  Three years earlier

  “Stop it,” Anna laughed, swatting her husband away. Mason grabbed her from behind, with slow open-mouthed kisses down her neck.

  “What? I can't kiss my wife now?” Those bright blue eyes made for the perfect sad puppy dog look that worked almost every time. Almost.

  She scrambled out of his embrace. “You can't kiss your wife like that when her parents could be home any minute.”

  “You realize they know we have sex, right?”

  Anna wrinkled her nose, sending him into a full belly laugh as he threw her down on the bed. She slipped from his grip, but the look of desire hadn’t left his eyes.

  “Come on, babe. Let’s walk down to the park and watch the fireworks,” she said.

  “If we stay here,” he whispered, fingers inching up her shirt, “I’ll make the show much better than fireworks.”

  “They have homemade ice cream…”

  He pulled back, his eyes wide like a kid with a new bike. “That peach kind, from the fall festival last year?”

  She nodded, and he threw her off him, jumping from the bed. “Why didn’t you say so? Let’s go.”