by Ceves, Nina
“A dream? You… what? Took a nap and fell asleep and dreamed about me? In some clean laundry dream?” She bit her lip, so embarrassed, so happy, too.
“Something like that.” He cleared his throat.
“I think I need to know about this dream. I think I need to hear about it. It may give me some, well, ideas. Tips. For clean laundry.” She stretched back against the pillows on her couch, feeling a sense of confidence and daring overtake her.
“No, really? You want to hear it?”
“Yeah,” she whispered, clamping a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh out loud.
“Okay, so, yeah. It wasn’t a dream, like a dream-dream. It was a daydream. Okay, it was a full on ah, fantasy. You with me so far?”
“Yes!” Alma was blushing furiously. She couldn’t believe this conversation.
He was silent for a few moments.
“Daniel?”
“I can’t,” he blurted. “I can’t. I’m too embarrassed.”
“That’s okay, really,” she said, smiling. “You can tell me another time. I mean, if you want to.”
“Huge, massive pile of fluffy clean clothes. Suddenly in the laundromat. Like a cloud. You and me. On top, inside the cloud of softness. And then. Ah, nakedness.” He said this all incredibly quickly.
“Oh my gosh, you saw me? Naked? I feel so… so shy!”
“I’m sorry.” He groaned. “You probably think I’m a freak.”
“No, I’m just worried that you imagined me… as being hotter, or prettier than I really am,” she confessed. She laughed at herself, clutching more clothes to her chest.
“Nothing could compare to the real you,” he said quietly. “If I ever do get the chance to get naked with you, in a pile of laundry, or anywhere, really, you can believe that. I will think you are so… just lovely.”
“I can’t believe we’re talking like this,” she whispered.
“I want to ask you if I can over and kiss you until I feel half crazed again, but I can’t. I want to ask you to come over so I can kiss you but the odds are Elijah will wake up and he’ll be crying. So, can I ask you out again? On a date?”
“Yes!” Thrilled. She was thrilled.
“Okay, let me call the sitter and then I’ll get back to you. Oh, when would be best for you, and then I’ll see if she has that time free.”
“Saturday night? Or sometime that afternoon? I would imagine Saturday is a pretty popular day for work for baby sitters, though.”
“I’ll get back to you as soon as I hear from her, okay, Alma?”
“Okay, Daniel.”
“Okay.”
“And Daniel? I… I really liked that laundry dream.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Bye!”
* * *
He was glad there was nobody around to see him. After they’d said goodbye, he stared at the screen for a moment. Then he punched the air with the hand that was holding the phone, and he whispered, “Yes!”
Chapter Seventeen
Daniel got work the next several days. Then on Friday, he was sent home at noon. Driving away from the site, he had a hollow feeling in his stomach. He had to find full time work, had to start thinking ahead. He stopped at the corner as a van pulled in, which stopped as the driver rolled down the window.
“Hey, Daniel!”
“Michael! How’s it going?”
Michael was an electrician. Daniel and he had worked together at several sites. Daniel had been curious about the wiring that Michael was doing, and asked questions. Michael’s two sons were grown and they had no interest in learning about their father’s business. Michael had inherited it from his own father. He had taken an interest in Daniel, making sure to take time to answer any questions Daniel might have, if their paths crossed while working.
“Can’t complain, but business is too good. I’m running all over the place. You leaving for the day?”
“Yeah. No more work for me.”
“Too bad.” Michael leaned forward, pushing his long gray hair behind his ears. “You ever think of doing something different? Something other than construction?”
“Well, yeah. Especially these days. Been doing it for what feels like a long time, you know?”
“You know, I’m going to need to hire someone to help me out. I can hire someone who got his or her training, or I can hire someone I know and trust, and teach that person everything I know. My sons don’t want anything to do with the business, I’ve told you that. Why don’t you think about it? Be my apprentice. I’ll help you get licensed if you’ll stay on working with me.”
Daniel’s jaw dropped.
“No worries if that doesn’t interest you. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about since we were at that historic site a couple months back.”
“Interest me? Michael, you want an apprentice? You’re looking right at him. I’m in!”
“Well all right then.” He smiled, turning his cheeks into brackets around his mouth. “I’ll give you a call tonight. I’ll pay you a little less per hour than what you make on the job here, while you are in training, but the work will be steady. And after your apprenticeship, when you’ve got your license, I’ll pay more than the going rate, with regular raises. I’ve thought about it. I need help, and I’ll be a good boss. Just like my dad treated me. And if stick with me, you’ll inherit the business one day.”
Tears prickled in the back of Daniel’s eyes. Just like that, his worries about his finances, his future, his job situation and even his housing situation, were lifting.
As he drove away, he had this thought: he couldn’t wait to tell Alma.
* * *
Alma closed her laptop, rubbing her eyes. She was so tired after a long day of working on the outdated website from hell with the dancing weasel. She laughed, standing up and stretching. The client had a habit of agreeing with everything Alma proposed and then wanting her to start all over again, and to incorporate more of the things that made it special, as the client kept saying.
“We would have lost our minds by now,” said Laura, when Alma called to check in and also to complain. “Right, Scott?”
“I’m doing the weasel dance, Alma. Laura, put her on Face Time!”
“Wasn’t it a mink?” Laura asked. “A stoat?”
“I don’t know,” said Alma, laughing. “And when I asked why she wanted this little animal on her website, which has nothing to do with animals at all, she just said she thought the critter looked so darn cute, dancing away like that.”
Laura laughed and Alma could hear Scott in the background asking what Alma had said. Laura repeated it and Alma heard him burst into loud laughter. He had such a great laugh. Alma had a hard time imagining him as the lonely and sad little boy that he used to be, as Scott had described.
“Tell her I’m darn cute, dancing away,” said Scott, out of breath. “Play the mix I made. Alma, get up. You dance, too.”
So, Laura had put Alma on Face Time and played the extended dance mix version that Scott had made on Garage Band. Alma, Laura, and Scott had danced. And when Ben came by, asking what the heck was going on, Alma realized something. She stopped dancing, her hands on her hips, catching her breath. She realized that she felt… nothing. No pain. No dizzy and guilty sense of taboo and excitement. No sense of loss and shame. She just felt… happy. Happy. Starting to smile, she began to dance again. “It’s the website from hell weasel dance, Ben!”
“Mink!” shouted Scott.
“Stoat!” Alma shouted, laughing so hard. She saw that she was getting another call and that it was from Daniel so she said good- bye to her friends. “Hi!”
“You sound out of breath, is everything okay?” She could hear the smile in his voice. “You’re not doing laundry and thinking of me, are you?”
She laughed. “No, I’m dancing.”
“That’s a good way to start Friday evening off right,” said Daniel. “That I would like to see.”
“We can go dancing together some night
,” she said, smiling. It was true. They could. She could have someone to dance with.
“Count me in for that,” said Daniel. “And speaking of plans, I know we have our date tomorrow night…”
Alma’s heart sank. He was going to cancel their plans. She was quiet.
“I just wondered if you wanted to come over tonight. We could watch a movie, order a pizza. You like pizza? You could draw on me. We could fold some laundry. Whatever.”
“What time?” She felt breathless, so excited.
“Whatever time you can get here.” Again, she could hear the smile in his low voice.
* * *
Daniel started to clean the house. It was a no holds barred attack style cleaning, where things were shoved into closets and under things and covered. The goal was to hide the mess, rather than to truly clean in depth, which would have taken hours. Elijah, who had been playing happily with his feet, noticed Daniel’s frenetic energy and started to fuss, reaching for him.
“Daddy’s right here, Elijah,” he said, squatting down and handing him a teething toy. “Just got to do a little more cleaning.” As he walked away again, Elijah began to yell loudly and then cry. Daniel picked him up, looking wide eyed at the clutter. Then, he nodded to himself. He got the carrier that was like a backpack, and settled Elijah in it, who had quieted. Daniel stood up and tightened the straps. “Ready, buddy? Ready to help daddy?” Elijah kicked his feet and gripped Daniel’s hair. Moving a lot more slowly than before, Daniel got enough cleaning done so that, to him at least, there was a major improvement. Wiping his brow, he looked around for anything he might have missed. He heard a knock on the door and opened it. He felt all the air leave his chest at the sight of Alma on his doorstep. She looked up at him, her shy smile blossoming as she saw Elijah in his carrier, peeking over Daniel’s shoulder. Elijah squealed and tightened his hold on Daniel’s hair. Daniel winced and grinned, holding the door open wider for Alma.
“Welcome. Come on in. Can I get you something to drink?” He didn’t know why he sounded so formal all of a sudden. He felt simultaneously glad and freaked out that she was here. He was used to his man cave, just him and his kid. He hadn’t had anyone over. The company he used to work with, well, that was before he moved here. He and his co-workers used to go out after work or do things on the weekends like rock climbing, rafting, or camping out once in a while. When he lost that job, he realized none of those guys were truly friends. He had told them about becoming a father and had received sincere congratulations, but that was it. Slaps on the back and free beers and even a cigar, but nobody to rely on, or celebrate with. All of this flashed through his mind as Alma stepped in. He realized not only was he crazy about her, he felt as though he really was starting to have a friend, after so long. It startled him as much as it made him feel vulnerable and hopeful.
“I made some salad,” said Alma nervously, holding out the container she held. “It’s my favorite. It’s made with cactus and I just started thinking you might not like that.”
“You can eat cactus? That is seriously bad A.S.S.,” he said, spelling the last word. “You are truly a force to be reckoned with when it comes to plants. You tame vicious succulents, you, what, take down a cactus and eat it? How?” He took the container and began to walk to the kitchen. He held the container way out on front of him, looking at it with great trepidation.
By then she was laughing. It was just the best sound, he had no idea why. Something in his brain must be re-wiring itself to light up at the sound of her laughter because he felt flooded with heat and pleasure and some kind of tenderness that socked him right in the throat. Why that would be a good thing, he had no clue. But it was. Totally. He set the salad into the refrigerator. “Seriously, though, I’m sure I’ll love it and I honestly did not know people could eat cactuses. Cacti?”
“These you can, but please don’t start running around and taking bites out of any cactus you see, all right?” She stroked Elijah’s arm. “Hello, my friend. Elijah! You like riding on daddy’s back? Yeah?”
Daniel could feel Elijah wriggling and hear his voice. “Da! Ah!” He walked over to the couch and sat down carefully to unstrap Elijah from the carrier.
“Let me help.” Alma was instantly by his side. He looked up and their eyes met.
“Thanks. If you could… just hold him under the arms while I…” He got himself out of the carrier while Alma held the baby steady. She lifted him into her arms and he held her around the neck. She buried her face in his neck and kissed his cheek. She made an inarticulate sound, holding him close. Daniel had to look away. He felt completely gutted by the little moment of tenderness between Elijah and Alma. Aside from the wonderful teachers at Little Learners, there was nobody in his life who truly cared about Elijah. When he had opened the door and seen Alma, he had immediately had the familiar feeling of wanting to grab her, pull her up against him, kiss her. And now? Seeing that growing connection between her and Elijah made him feel unmoored with the intensity of his feelings, his response to her, both physical and emotional. What if Elijah got attached to her and she ended up not liking Daniel enough to stick around? He hadn’t thought ahead. How could he? How could he know what was going to happen between Alma and him? All he knew was what he felt: increasingly drawn to her.
The plan was that Elijah would go to bed at his regular bedtime and then Daniel would pull Alma on top of him and kiss her for hours and hope for as much nakedness as possible. Or pizza and a movie. Either one that Alma preferred. His choice was for the first option. But what happened was that Elijah was so excited by Alma being there, that he chortled and cooed and stared into her face, enraptured. She played a patty cake kind of game with him. He opened his mouth, watching her hands and face. Every time she finished, he broke into a huge grin and then shouted, “Da!” So, she would begin again. And then again.
Tortillitas
Tortillitas, tortillitas
Tortillitas para mamá;
Tortillitas para papá.
Las quemaditas para mamá;
Las bonitas para papá.
Tortillitas, tortillitas
Tortillitas para papá;
Tortillitas para mamá;
Tortillitas de salvado
Para papá cuando está enojado;
Tortillitas de manteca
Para mamá que está contenta.
“It’s about making little tortillas… and then it gets weird. Like, one kind for mom because she’s happy, another kind for dad because he’s mad…? Dysfunctional, right?” Alma tried to explain the meaning of the lyrics when Daniel asked her. As he laughed, she began to chant the nursery rhyme about this little piggy, holding Elijah’s toes, one at a time. The baby was breathless with wonder, laughing out loud when Alma got to the part about “all the way home.” Daniel just sat back, watching. He couldn’t stop smiling. He had a sudden memory. It must have been that long ago his mother sang the same song to him. The memory was faded and blurred as though it was a snapshot that had been left out in the sun and rain, but it was right there, in his heart. Finally and suddenly, Elijah fell asleep in Alma’s arms.
“If we just wait for a while, we can put him in his crib. If we do it now, he’ll wake up and he won’t go back to sleep for hours,” said Daniel, with the wisdom gained by sleepless nights. “His pediatrician said I shouldn’t pick him up when he cries. But, I just can’t let him cry until he falls asleep like that. So, I lie to his doctor and his nurse. They ask me if he sleeps through the night and I just say yes.”
“I wouldn’t be able to do it, either. Just let him cry, when he can’t tell us what’s wrong.” Alma stared down at Elijah’s sleeping face.
“This one nurse, she said, you got to play hardball, once they are four months old. I thought to myself, hardball? Really?” He couldn’t stop looking at Alma. He had turned the living room light off, and she was lit by the lamp that was left on in the kitchen. Her face was so beautiful. “Yeah, and I wonder, too, like… there’s so much he doesn’t unde
rstand. With teething, for example. I know he can’t understand what’s going on. Maybe he thinks his mouth will always hurt. That kills me. I tell him, hey, you’re teeth are growing, everything will feel better soon. But he doesn’t understand that kind of stuff yet.” Daniel shook his head.
“Pobrecito! Well, he understands that you love him, Daniel. That is the most important thing. You are a really good, loyal father to him. A wonderful father, truly.” She glanced up at him as she spoke.
He raised his eyebrows, opened his mouth… nothing. He was stunned. He had never heard that before. “That’s… thanks. I… thanks.” Practically inarticulate, he felt suffused by a warmth from her words and the kind light in her eyes.
“So,” he said, after clearing his throat a few moments later. “I had some big plans for tonight. I should say hopes not plans. Ideas not plans.”
Alma’s mouth twisted as she fought a smile, and she glanced away.
“But,” he continued. “We’ve got a little chaperone here. So, let’s talk. Unless you’re hungry now?”
“Let’s eat later, after papi goes into his crib,” she whispered.
“Cool. So, tell me something… something about you. Something… nobody else knows about you.” He saw her freeze, just momentarily, and something sad pass in her eyes. Then it was gone. He wondered about it. We all have our heartbreaks, he thought. Maybe one day she’ll tell me that one. He didn’t want to ask her, he felt that would be intrusive. But he felt this kind of knowledge sink into his bones, that he wanted to know everything, absolutely everything, about this woman. He couldn’t remember ever feeling that before. He had another feeling, simultaneously. He felt protective. What had made her sad? Made her feel hurt? He’d try to move heaven and earth to keep her safe and happy. He had this vision of taking her hand in his. She was right there, so close.
“Okay, I’ve got it.” She started to smile, rolling her eyes. “This is going to sound awful. Nobody knows this but I regret getting my hair cut. I had such long hair and I admit, I loved it. But, I got it cut and donated my hair to Locks of Love. So, of course I can’t go around saying I wish I had not cut my hair. My hair went to such a good cause. And, so, it’s a secret. Now you know.”