by Rose Marini
Her Remedy
Rose Marini
Copyright 2019 by Rose Marini.
All rights reserved.
This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means (including photocopying, recording, or otherwise transmitting), or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. You may not circulate this book in any format.
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Created with Vellum
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
About the Author
Dedication
For friends who become family.
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For the innumerable puppy kisses I received while pouring my soul into this book.
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And for you. Always you.
1
Allison tugged her blouse into place, checking her appearance in the mirror. Her chocolate hair was perfectly curled, makeup subtle but flattering, navy blue jacket and skirt tailored to fit her figure. Her outfit probably wouldn't matter too much as she would likely change into scrubs shortly after reaching the hospital, but she wanted to make the best impression possible. Dark lashes framed her deep hazel eyes set above a strong nose and full lips. She snapped a selfie to send to her parents and sister; her mom insisted that she capture her first day as an emergency department resident just as she had for every first day of school, graduation ceremony, and medical conference presentation. She reminisced for a moment—just a month ago, she had been taking a picture with her closest friends on their last day of medical school. Her parents, both physicians themselves, were extraordinarily proud that one of their offspring decided to follow in their footsteps.
Her stomach knotted as loneliness washed over her. It would be nice to have someone here to encourage her on a day like today, someone like a partner. She shook her head, scolding herself. Love was a distraction, and she needed to stay laser-focused on achieving her dream—she’d learned that lesson the hard way. She took one last appraising glance at her reflection, straightened her shoulders, and headed to the door, heels clacking on the wood floor.
"Come on, Sammy, we're going to be late!"
A medium-sized brown and white splotched dog bounded towards her, as thrilled as he always was when she pulled out his leash. Sammy had been her closest companion since she rescued him from the shelter several years ago. She chattered at him as she clipped on his harness.
"Remember, Sammy, you promised to be a good boy at daycare today. That means no sitting on the small dogs. Try to find some pups your own size, or at least roll over and let the little ones jump on you instead of the other way around. Just because they're small doesn't mean they're your personal toys!"
The pup licked her cheek in what she took as agreement; laughing, she headed to the car. Thirty minutes later she dropped off her favorite furball at his new daycare; Sammy immediately raced to join the other dogs as the owner promised to take good care of him. She pulled into the hospital parking lot, wiped her damp palms on the seat—the weather promised to be the typical roasting July day—and took a deep breath. Okay, time to become a kick-ass doctor, she thought to herself. She clicked her way down the sterile hallway of the emergency department to find Room 114B. Hand on the knob, she hesitated for a heartbeat, then pushed open the door to reveal the other interns who would be her companions for the next four years. There were twelve in their class, Allison soon learned. A large conference table dominated the room; a few seats were occupied, so she slid into a seat next to a tall man with a shock of blonde hair flopped over his forehead. A warm smile flashed across his face as he turned towards her. She smiled and extended her hand, introducing herself with a firm handshake.
"Hi, I'm Allison Williams."
"Devon Richardson. Nice to meet you. Where are you from?"
"Born and raised in Green Bay, Wisconsin, but escaped to the East coast for college and medical school. What about you?"
"Really? Where did you go to school? I'm from Boston, lived there my whole life.”
He spoke quickly, words spitting out with the sharp edge of a Bostonian accent. “It's been a bit of a shock, adjusting to life in Georgia, but this is such a prestigious program that I really can't complain."
Allison nodded in fervent agreement. "I went to Williams for undergrad and Brown for med school. It's a new culture for me too... the other day the bank teller called me 'sweetheart' and I almost decked her before I realized that that's just how they talk here. But it sounded so condescending!"
They chatted for a few more minutes and were in the midst of swapping pictures of their dogs when an older man walked into the room. Silver hair lined his temples and his expression was severe, though lines around his eyes suggested that he smiled often. He scanned the room for a moment, reminding Allison of a hyper-alert terrier. Seemingly he found what he was looking for, because he checked his watch and murmured to a middle-aged woman standing next to him. She nodded and went to fiddle with the laptop and projector.
When he spoke, his words were clipped and sharp. "I am Dr. Pacheo, chair of the Emergency Medicine department. You twelve have been accepted into one of the best emergency medicine residencies in the world. It will be hard work, harder than medical school by far. You'll learn to make life or death decisions in seconds—and deal with the consequences. As the attending physician, you have to answer to the patient and their loved ones. You hold lives in your hands. Do not take this lightly. We have a low tolerance for laziness, insubordination, and sloppy work. You will make mistakes. The other instructors and I are here to mitigate the risks to the patient as you flail around, hoping to figure out the right diagnosis."
Here his expression softened slightly.
"We encounter several high-risk populations here. I can guarantee that before you graduate, you will lose more than one patient. In addition to keeping you from screwing up too badly, we're here to guide you through the emotional aftermath of losing a patient. We will be tough on you, but we also take your mental health and the issue of physician burnout seriously. There are many available resources for you if you need them."
As if on cue, a young woman in blue scrubs slipped in the door. Allison caught a glimpse of blonde hair tied up in a ponytail. Something about her seemed achingly familiar...
"Ah, perfect timing, Emma," Dr. Pacheo said. "Emma is one of our third-year residents. The more advanced residents will be an excellent resource for you during these next few years. If you have a question, go to them first. Emma—Dr. Simmons to you all—is going to give you all a tour of the hospital and emergency department."
As Emma walked to stand next to Dr. Pacheo, Allison glimpsed her familiar face. A yawning chasm opened in her core. No. This is a nightmare, it has to be. She can't possibly be a resident here. After all this time I spent getting over her, she shows up at my residency program?! This can't be happening.
Allison was shaken from her thoughts as her companions got up and moved towards the door. Dazed, she gathered her things and trailed behind, hoping Emma wouldn't notice her. The sound of Emma's voice washed over her, the Southern drawl as familiar as if they had just spoken yesterday. She barely noticed the ot
her woman's commentary as memories overwhelmed her.
They had met when Allison was a sophomore and Emma a senior in college. Organic chemistry had been kicking Allison's ass, so she spent much of her time in the tutoring center where Emma volunteered. Fortunately for Allison, Emma was incredible at organic chemistry. She had a way of explaining complicated concepts using concrete examples that Allison could visualize; Allison credited her tutor with saving her grade in the course. She had also been accepted to medical school at the University of Georgia, so she gave Allison helpful advice about the med school application process. In the beginning, Allison saw her as the older sister she never had but always wanted.
The two quickly became close, spending increasing amounts of time together. Emma helped her navigate the complexities of becoming a competitive applicant to medical school, in addition to listening to Allison’s rants when her younger sister did something stupid, again. And her parents swept it under the rug…again. Allison nursed Emma through a nasty bout with the flu that turned into pneumonia and listened to her fears about leaving their beloved college to start medical school. The closer graduation loomed, the more inseparable they became. They spent most nights cuddled up on the couch in Emma's apartment, alternating between crying at their impending separation and laughing at chick flicks. They ended each night with a hug, Allison's face buried in Emma's shoulder. Their hugs lasted much longer than the average friendly embrace, but Allison always ached to be back in Emma's arms as soon as they broke apart. She could still remember the scent of her skin; it had always reminded Allison of a late summer evening. Blooming, warm, a hint of muskiness. Just the memory of the sensation of their breasts pressed together, Emma's much fuller than her own, made Allison's skin flush.
As their bond deepened, a small voice in the back of Allison’s head suggested that maybe this was more than just friendship. Intelligent, caring, beautiful, witty—Emma was everything Allison wanted in a woman. Unfortunately, Emma was quite religious and, according to her, very, very straight. Both girls had been raised in a community that shunned homosexual attraction. Emma's family was much more conservative than Allison's, however, probably in part due to growing up in the Deep South. As a sophomore, Allison was just starting to break free of the restrictions of her upbringing and acknowledge her sexuality. She managed to convince herself that the feelings she felt towards Emma were strictly friendship and gratitude—and that their constant touching and long embraces were completely normal for close friends—until she spent the summer sitting at home, missing Emma with every cell in her body. They talked every day and Allison counted down the days before she would visit Emma in Georgia at the end of the summer.
Then everything fell apart.
The five days Allison spent with Emma were both wonderful and devasting. Incredible because she was able to bask in the glow that was Emma's presence, full of laughter and zest. Devastating, because each night she fought the desire to reach across the bed to hold her friend, knowing that her ache would horrify the other woman. The first night of her visit, Allison lay awake, realization crashing over her. I'm in love with her. The thought reverberated through her body. She wanted Emma in a way that she would never, ever be able to have. Because Emma was straight. The rest of the trip was torture. One moment, Allison would forget her feelings and laugh at one of Emma's sarcastic comments; the next, anguish would tear into her heart. The worst part was that the one person she wanted comfort from was Emma, but she was terrified to reveal her feelings. She couldn't bear the thought that Emma would be disgusted by her attraction and it would ruin their friendship. She knew Emma was confused by her moodiness; more than once the other woman asked if she had done something to upset her.
She returned to college, tears pouring down her face for most of the drive. Their conversations became more sporadic; Emma was overwhelmed by her first year of medical school and it was too painful for Allison to stay in close contact. Eventually, Allison stopped responding to her calls and texts entirely. She hated herself for disappearing on her friend, but she just couldn't bring herself to confide her desires in Emma. Better to disappear than to hear the disgust in Emma's voice when she told the truth.
Slowly but surely, Allison moved on with her life. It took some time, but she came to own and cherish her love for women, helped in large part by her very attractive chemistry partner during junior year, Marie. Chemistry classes attracted very pretty women at her school, apparently. She and Marie had a wonderful year together before deciding to amicably part ways after college, as Allison was headed back to Wisconsin and Marie to New York for a prestigious internship. Although Allison had loved Marie, and another woman since, neither had ever come close to the passion and connection she felt towards Emma.
Lost in the haze of memories, she was jolted back to reality as Devon hissed at her. "Allison! Wrong way!"
She reddened and turned abruptly, realizing that she was heading down an entirely different hallway than her classmates. Naturally, it was at this embarrassing moment that Emma noticed her for the first time. Blue eyes burned into hazel. Adrenaline raced through her body; goosebumps prickled her skin.
"Ally?" Emma gasped, heart pounding for some inexplicable reason. Her head spun and heat spread through her veins.
Time stopped. Emma's eyes were just as mesmerizing as she had remembered... Allison gulped and tried to smile, willing herself to act normal.
"Hi! I thought it was you! I just didn't want to interrupt such an excellent tour." Allison explained nervously. Sweat soaked the blouse she had so carefully selected. Her tentative smile caused Emma's stomach to spasm in an unexpected way.
"Oh, right," Emma turned back to the group as though she had forgotten their existence. "Well… let’s catch up afterward, okay? It’s so great to see you!"
Allison nodded, glad that those hypnotic eyes were no longer locked on her. Emma was even more stunning than she remembered; she could fall into those sky blue eyes for an eternity. Her fingers itched to caress Emma's rosy cheeks. And those lips... Allison had drunk in the sight of her coral lips, the lower slightly fuller than the upper, a thousand times as she pretended to listen when Emma explained a chemistry problem. If Emma had ever noticed Allison staring more at her face than the equations on the paper, she never let it show. And now, as if no time had elapsed, the desperate ache to be wrapped in Emma's arms with their lips pressed together resurfaced.
Allison stumbled along blindly, not noticing Devon's concerned glances. He tugged her elbow, whispering, "Look, are you okay? You look like you're about to collapse."
"I'm fine," Allison snapped, embarrassed that he had noticed her unsettled reaction. She sighed. Would she ever learn to hold her tongue? "Sorry. Thank you for checking, but I'm okay."
Devon released her and a thoughtful look crossed his face. She faced Emma, pretending to listen intently to her description of the emergency department rotations even though she barely registered a word. The sight of the emergency department jerked her back to the present day, however. It was a large department, capable of holding over fifty patients at a time. The rooms were arranged in three large circles, each surrounding a central nursing station. Glass doors separated the rooms from the hallways; blue privacy curtains were pulled across most doors to shield the occupants from curious eyes. The operating rooms were easily accessible just down the hall. Emma pointed out the residents’ workroom, located between two of the nursing stations.
This was where Allison would learn to be a physician, what she was born to do. She would save lives in these very rooms! That's it, she thought to herself, that's what I'm here to do. Learn to be an amazing doctor and save lives in the process. I can't let her distract me from that. I'll just need to learn to coexist with her, that's all. It was a long time ago and I've dated plenty of people since then. This is just the remnant of an old crush; I'm sure it will pass. Eyes on the prize, Williams. No time for romantic entanglements—you have a dream to fulfill.
Allison's internal pep
talk enabled her to shove aside the tempting sound of Emma's voice to focus on her description of the first-year residents’ duties. Emma, on the other hand, had a much harder time ignoring the thoughts racing through her head. On autopilot, she outlined the expectations of the first years, thankful that she'd given these instructions plenty of times. A distant part of her brain noted that Allison was just as stunning as she had been during college, maybe even more so. Emma studied her, grateful that Allison was distracted as she took notes. She noticed subtle differences between the woman in front of her and the girl she used to know. Her hair was longer, reaching the center of her back, and she had tamed the wild curls into smooth ringlets. She carried herself with an assured air, giving off the sense that she was confident in who she was. Gone were the hesitation and doubt that Emma had sensed in her years ago. Her cheekbones were still high and shapely. Her wide, lightly lined eyes were the same shifting, glimmering pool of amber and jade that Emma had so loved to fall into all those years ago.
Enough! The blonde woman thought to herself. They're just eyes. Nothing to swoon over. She's just an old friend.
The distant voice spoke again, pointing out that she didn't feel so nervous when she saw other old friends. She ignored it but her knuckles whitened. She forced herself to proceed as normal through the rest of the tour, leading the group back to the conference room. Emma was slightly hurt to see Allison promptly return to her seat at the table. We'll talk later, she admonished herself. She's probably trying to be professional. She settled in a chair in the corner—she was to help with orientation all day—and a droning administrator immediately began lecturing about patient confidentiality regulations.