by Linda Warren
He didn’t take the paper. “I know where her aunts live. I just never imagined Jessie would go there, but you made it easy for a severely depressed woman to do that.” He took a deep breath. “Get out, Hooter, before I hit you.”
“Now, Cadde, I risked a lot coming here. You can remove me from the board and my investment in Shilah will be…”
“Get out,” he shouted. “I don’t give a damn about you and I don’t give a damn about Shilah.”
“I don’t like the sound of that. Someone has to be at the helm to protect all our investments. I could take over…”
“Get out!”
Cadde paced in the living room, trying to control his anger. How could that old fool think he was helping Jessie? How could…
His cell rang and he answered.
“I know where Jessie is,” Myra said.
“So do I. She’s at an orphanage outside Rome.”
“How do you know that?”
“An old friend of Roscoe’s just dropped by. He helped her get there.”
“And he’s just now telling you this?”
“Yeah. Kind of blew my mind, too.”
“Forget about him. I called the orphanage and Jessie is there. The woman who answered the phone spoke broken English, but when I asked about Jessie she said, ‘Sì,’ and something about a laundry room. I gave her my number and asked for Jessie to call me—whether she understood me or not I don’t know.”
“Let me have the number.”
“Cadde.” There was a long pause. “Jessie went there for some sort of peace or maybe to feel a connection to her mother. Whatever it is she needs to do it on her own. She’s feeling a lot of guilt over the forced marriage and the baby deal.”
Cadde gripped his cell. “She didn’t force me into anything. Please stop saying that.”
“But Jessie feels it. Give her time.”
“Myra…”
“I know it’s hard, but she’s okay and if she calls, I’ll phone right away.”
“Thanks. Oh, Myra, I just thought of something. Jessie came home for her passport. That’s why Rosa found the front door opened that day with Mirry on the front porch.”
“Makes sense now, but I would never have suspected Jessie of doing something like that.”
“Me, neither. That just shows how depressed she really was.” He gripped the phone. “Are you sure she’s okay?”
“She’s with her aunts and they’ll take care of her.”
“Yeah.”
Cadde ended the call and hurried into Roscoe’s study. Opening the bottom drawer, he pulled out the security box that held some important papers and Roscoe’s and Jessie’s passports. Roscoe’s was there, but Jessie’s was not.
His heart took another hit. He’d thought their marriage was based on trust and honesty. In her grief Jessie must have forgotten that. Why couldn’t she have trusted him to understand about her part in the marriage arrangement? Why couldn’t she trust him?
It took everything in him not to find the number of the orphanage and call. Since Jessie didn’t want to talk to him or see him, he’d respect her wishes. But he had to show her how much he loved her and there was only one way.
He reached for paper and a pen. Placing it in front of him, he began to write.
THE DAYS PASSED QUICKLY for Jessie. She had ironing down to a fine art. The children’s clothes were cotton and she went after wrinkles with a vengeance. Her time was getting better than the older girls. While she worked she didn’t have an opportunity to brood. She was busy.
Her favorite thing was taking long walks. There were no towering trees like in Texas but the maritime pines and cypresses were lovely. All the people she met on her strolls were friendly yelling, “Ciao,” or “Buonasera.” She’d nod and keep walking. In the distance she could see rows and rows of vineyards. The area was very hilly and rocky. Sitting on a rock, she gazed at the blue water of the Tiber River and soaked up the ambience of this ancient place.
As always, her thoughts turned to Cadde and she wondered if they were still married. Had he signed the divorce papers? She stared at her platinum wedding band and couldn’t bring herself to remove it. She’d tried to force him to love her but she’d found that love couldn’t be forced. It had to be there from the start. And Cadde had never loved her. He loved Shilah—not her. The loss of their child had made her realize the truth.
Maybe she had to come to this place for her penance, like Margaret and Teresa. She’d learned that Margaret had been raped by a gang member and he’d attempted to stab her to death. Bleeding severely she’d made it to a church and a priest had taken her to a hospital. From there the priest had found her a place to live, with an elderly Catholic couple. Margaret had attended church every day and when she graduated high school, she’d joined a convent.
Teresa’s life had been riddled with turmoil, too. She had been a stripper like Angela, got into prostitution and drugs. While she was on drugs she had an abortion. When she’d sobered up in a jail cell and realized the horror of what she’d done, she’d called Margaret for help. Now her life was devoted to the children no one wanted.
Everyone made mistakes and her parents had made huge ones. Jessie found the strength to forgive because she was no better. Manipulation was not a part of love.
IN MID-JANUARY, KID WALKED into the living room and threw his hat across the room. “Hot damn, Cadde, I have great news. The well came in big, better than we ever dreamed, oil and gas. You were right. Roscoe held on to those leases for a reason. Cadde, do you hear me?”
Cadde rubbed his hands together. “That’s good.”
“What? Why aren’t you jumping up and down? Oh, crap, you still have that damn tree up. Cadde, come on, snap out of it.”
“I have something to tell you.”
“Cadde, are you listening to me? The Louisiana well came in big.”
“I heard you the first time. Now listen to me.
“What?”
“I resigned as CEO of Shilah.”
“What the hell?”
“I’ve appointed you and Chance as interim CEOs until the board meets the first week in February.”
“I’m not working for anybody else, Cadde. I’ll tell you that right now.”
“You’d be the boss.”
“I’m not working for myself, either. There’s only one person to lead Shilah and that’s you.”
Cadde stood. “Please try to understand I have to do this. I have to prove to Jessie she means more to me than that oil company.”
“Dammit, Cadde.”
“I know you and Chance can run the company. You’ve been doing it for weeks. Don’t let Hooter and the board hire some yahoo who’ll run Shilah into the ground. Fight to remain CEOs, but it’s up to you.”
“Have you told Chance?”
“I’ll call him as soon as you leave.”
Kid picked up his hat from the floor. “I don’t understand this. The oil business has always been your dream.”
“Not anymore.”
Kid placed his hat on his head. “Okay, you want us to fight. We’ll fight. Hell, the Hardin boys do that better than anyone.”
“Barbara will hand in my resignation at the board meeting. It will be the first order of business. If you want control, be there. If not…it’s up to you and Chance.”
“We’ll take care of it.” Kid glanced at the tree and decorations. “Throw the tree out and put away the decorations. For heaven’s sake, get a grip on reality.”
“I don’t even know what that is anymore.”
“Cadde.”
He held up his hand. “Yes, I’m losing it if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Just leave me alone. And protect your investment in Shilah.”
Kid turned to leave.
“One more thing. Fire Chip the computer guy.”
Kid swung back. “Why?”
“He can be bought and someone like that shouldn’t be working for Shilah.
” Cadde told his brother about Hooter and how he made it possible for Jessie to fly to Rome.
“That son of a bitch! I’ll take care of it, Cadde. You don’t have to worry.”
Kid walked out with murder in his eyes. Cadde ran his hands over his face. He didn’t want his brothers to lose what they’d invested in Shilah. Personally, he wasn’t worried about losing what he’d worked his whole life for. He only worried about Jessie.
JESSIE WOKE UP TO SOMEONE screaming. It was faint but she could hear it. She padded to the door and opened it. Teresa ran by.
“Teresa,” she called. “What’s happening?”
“Go back to bed, Jessie. A pregnant teenage girl came in and she’s giving birth. Sister Alice and Margaret are with her. I have to go.”
Jessie went back into her room but she didn’t sleep. She listened to the screams until they stopped and then she opened her door again, waiting for Teresa.
“Jessie, what are you doing still up?” Teresa asked when she saw her.
“Is everything okay?”
“Sì, mother and baby are fine. Sister Frances called the adoptive parents and they will be here in the morning for the baby girl.”
“The mother’s giving the baby up?”
“Sì. That’s why she came here. We don’t ask any questions. We protect the child. It gives young girls another choice instead of abortion. The church is against abortion.”
Teresa’s face changed and Jessie knew Teresa was thinking about her own mistakes. Jessie hugged her.
The next morning she saw a couple leave with the baby. Just like that, four lives were changed and it stayed with her for a long time. It was sad, but uplifting, too.
Couples came quite often to the orphanage looking for a child. It was a long interview process, Teresa had told her, which ensured the child and family were suited to each other. When Jessie noticed a child missing from the playground, she knew the child had finally found a real home. Again, it was sad, yet uplifting.
That evening as Jessie hurried from the laundry room to help with the meal, Margaret stopped her.
“Could we talk, Jessie?”
She followed her into the courtyard. Everything was quiet because the kids were inside. They sat side by side on the stone bench.
“You’ve been here for a while, child, and your bruises have healed.”
“Yes.” Jessie touched her face. “I’m better.”
“Are you strong enough to talk about what happened to you?”
“Uh…”
“The outward bruises have healed. Now you have to deal with the inner ones.”
“Uh…” Jessie stared at the clenched hands in her lap, and before she knew it the words came tumbling out. She told Margaret about her life, her animals, her counseling, Nina, Vernon and Cadde. “You see, I tricked him, I knew his weak spot and I played on that. I’m an awful person.”
Margaret patted her hands. “You’re a very caring person.”
“A caring person wouldn’t trick a man into marrying someone he doesn’t love.”
“Did he say this?”
“No, I didn’t give him time and I couldn’t stand to hear the truth after…”
“Say it,” Margaret urged.
“After losing the baby.” Her stomach cramped and she fought to breathe.
Margaret gave her a moment. “Tell me about your husband.”
“Oh, Cadde…he’s thoughtful and kind, very serious, businesslike but once you reach his soft side he’s like a big cuddle bear. He took excellent care of me after the Doberman attack. He started coming home earlier and earlier. He bought a special baby ornament and we were planning on putting up a tree when Vernon Lynch decided to take his frustrations out on me.”
“This doesn’t sound like a man who doesn’t love you. He would be distant and spending more and more time away from you, sì?”
“I suppose.” Jessie recalled how Cadde had torn up the baby agreement because he’d thought he’d hurt her. He’d told her he wasn’t good at expressing his feelings. Oh, no! In her grief, could she have forgotten his words and his concerns? His touch? His strong yet gentle embrace?
But then, he didn’t know what she’d done.
“I’m sure he hates me now that he knows the truth.” She looked down at the burns on her hands from the iron. “Do you think Mother Superior would mind if I stayed here for a while longer?”
“You do not belong here, Jessie.” Margaret patted her hands again. “It is time for you to go home and tell your husband how you feel. You’re strong enough to do that now.”
“Yes.” She was. She missed Myra, Rosa, Felix, Mirry…and Cadde. But she hesitated, unsure of what waited for her so many miles away.
“Why did you come here, child?”
“You’ve asked me that before and I couldn’t answer. I still can’t. I don’t have any other living relatives and in my agony, I guess I was coming to find comfort and strength from my aunts.”
“We enjoyed meeting you and we don’t have to wonder about you anymore. You’re a beautiful young woman with incredible strength and I know, unlike your father and mother, you will find the happiness you crave.”
She hugged Margaret, hoping what she said was true.
THE NEXT MORNING JESSIE was packed and ready to go. She said a sad goodbye to everyone, clinging to her aunts a little longer than she should have. The white cab roared to a stop and Jessie climbed in.
The children shouted, “Arrivederci.” Jessie waved until she couldn’t see them anymore and she realized she’d left a part of her broken heart in a place that seemed untouched by time.
Her flight arrived late in New York. The closer she got to home, the more she worried. While she waited she wondered if she and Cadde were still married. Had he signed the papers?
It was 5:00 a.m. when she arrived in Houston. She wanted to go home, but for her own peace of mind she had to do something else.
She had to face Nina.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
BY EIGHT THAT MORNING Jessie was in Amarillo. She’d slept on the flights so she wasn’t tired. As she rode in the cab she had no idea what she was going to say to Nina, but she had to face her to deal with what had happened for her own sanity.
She’d charged her phone at the orphanage and saw she had lots of calls from Cadde, Myra and Rosa. She didn’t listen to any of the messages—not yet.
Using her phone she tracked down Nina’s aunt. She knew the name and the street and it was no problem to find the number. Information was easily available and Jessie realized how dangerous that was for demented people. There was no privacy anymore as she acknowledged to her detriment. All the security in the world didn’t work if a person was determined to get in. Ironically, she’d opened the door for Vernon.
She should be afraid, but she wasn’t. The fear that always had been there had been obliterated by grief. She was stronger now than she’d ever been and no one was going to take advantage of her good nature again.
The cab stopped at an older clapboard house with black shutters. The long front porch was enclosed with railing. Nina sat in a chair, smoking a cigarette. Jessie asked the driver to wait and she made her way to the steps. Climbing them, she thought of what she wanted to say, but nothing came to mind.
Nina was immediately on her feet. “I’m sorry, Jessie.”
Suddenly, everything clicked. She wanted to hit the woman, scratch her eyes out, but she did neither. She wasn’t a violent person. “Every time I tried to help you, you always said I didn’t know what your life was like.” She stepped closer. “Thanks to you, Nina, I know exactly what your life is like, blow by blow.”
“I didn’t know Vern was going to do that.”
“You broke the honor code of Rachel’s House and you put everyone’s safety in jeopardy, mainly mine.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry. Get off your ass and do something about your life. Stop depending on everyone else.”
The door ope
ned and a middle-aged woman with short brown hair stood there. “Watch TV,” she said to the kids behind her, and stepped out onto the porch.
“Hi, I’m Lois Winslow,” she introduced herself.
“I’m Jessie Hardin.”
“Oh, Mrs. Hardin, I’m so sorry.”
“Yes. That seems to be the phrase of choice.” She looked at Nina, but spoke to Lois. “Don’t let her take advantage of you. She’s good at working people, the system.”
“I told her she has to find a job or get out. With Vernon dead, she has no reason to go back to Houston.”
“Dead?” She was confused for a moment.
“He was arrested and he hung himself in his cell,” Lois told her.
“Oh.” Jessie was taken aback for a moment. “I didn’t know, but it doesn’t bring my baby back.” Once again she glanced at Nina. “You took everything from me—my child, my husband, my life.”
“I didn’t. Vern did.” Nina readily placed the blame elsewhere.
“You did.” Jessie pointed a finger at her. “You talked about me, held me up as an example to your husband when you knew it was against the rules of Rachel’s House.”
“I…I wish…”
“Don’t wish. Do something about your life. If you screw up just once more I’ll make sure you never see your kids again.” Jessie took the steps quickly, completely spent.
Vernon Lynch was dead. It froze her for a moment in vivid gut-wrenching pain and she took a deep breath and let it go. There wasn’t anything else she could do about it. Her focus was now on Cadde…and home.
Her cell buzzed and she looked at the caller ID. It was Myra and she did something she hadn’t been able to do in weeks. She clicked on as she slid into the cab.
“Jessie, Jessie? Is that you?”
“Yes, Myra, it’s me.” She put her hand over the phone. “Rick Husband Airport,” she said to the driver.
“Oh, my God! Are you okay?”
“Yes.”