Your inability to make a fucking decision…
“Of course I do. I always will. You know everything about me.”
“It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself.”
Hives.
Instantly, only further stoked by the fresh wave of tears threatening. I scratched at my neck, and he continued kissing down my cheek.
“Just let me love you,” he murmured, shoving his hands into the base of my hair and kneading his fingers into my scalp. I let my eyelids flutter closed, relaxing against his touch.
“Matthew, wait.”
“I love you, Vivian.”
“I’m… going to LA.”
He stopped kissing, hovering over me, his arms caging me to the bed.
“LA.”
“Yes.”
The evening sunlight shined through the window and reflected off of his glasses. “For him?”
I swallowed, meeting his deep, brown eyes. “He got me an audition.”
“For the movie he’s directing.”
I could hear the animosity lacing his voice. I nodded quickly.
“It’s important… to have connections… and this could be the chance of a lifetime-”
“No.”
“No?” I demanded, my blood boiling. My temper ignited, and I pushed at his hands. He remained still, contemplating.
“Let me rephrase that. No, not without me. I let you run once, Vivian Hale, and I won’t do it again. We’ve finally gotten to a point where we can smile together, and enjoy each other without constantly thinking about the baby. Right?”
I stiffened. “Well… yeah. But you’ve got school starting in one week. You can’t miss the first week-”
“A week? How long is this audition going to take?” he pushed.
I stared.
Tell him.
Tell him.
I swallowed at the overabundance of saliva in my mouth. “It… shouldn’t take long, I guess you’re right.”
Coward.
“Well, then when is it? I’ll buy our plane tickets right now. We can use some time away.”
I read Matthew like a book. I knew that his only reason for going was to keep me as far away from Keaton as possible. Though I’d convinced him that sleeping with Keaton had been nothing but a drunken mistake, he still narrowed his eyes and set his jaw in that disapproving way of his whenever anything about Keaton Thane flashed on the news.
I couldn’t blame Matthew. Gazing at the man that I’d fallen in love with long ago, the man who I’d dreamt about sharing a life with, I wanted to claw at my aching heart.
What was happening to me? Could I really be letting go of Matthew, after all that we’d been through? I hated the thought of hurting him and of letting him go.
Loving Matthew and loving memories were two very different things.
“He bought me a ticket. But we can buy another one,” I managed quietly.
“What, was this part of your arrangement?” he asked, so pointed, and I winced.
“No. I don’t know why he’s giving me a chance, but I do know it’s the chance of a lifetime and there are A-list actors and actresses rumored to be auditioning for the film.”
“You don’t know why he’s giving you a chance. Really. Vivian, he’s obsessed with you. He’s just a big kid, and you’re a toy that he can’t have. You know that, right?”
“Are you trying to say that I’m not good enough for this film, or that you don’t like Keaton? Let’s be clear,” I countered, pushing away from him and fighting back another wave of nausea as the tissues scattered to the floor.
As always, he went calm, finally pulling away to stand next to the bed. I watched as he tucked his hands into his pockets, looking down at me.
“You know how I feel about your talent, Vivian. And no, I do not like Keaton Thane. I feel like I’m losing you before I even have a chance to try again, and it’s all because of him. So let me make myself perfectly clear.” He tilted his head to the side, so slightly, and I admired his ability to be calm when I knew that he was fuming inside. “I’m going with you. You are the love of my life. If I’m not yours, tell me now.”
I sat up on the bed, and he knelt before me, taking my hands in his and drawing them to his lips. “Vivian. Listen to me. I’m not promising you glamour and fame. I’m promising you family game night and summer vacations. I’m promising you backyard cookouts with my family, and birthday parties for our babies… yes, babies, Vivian,” he whispered, catching my tear as it tumbled down my cheek. “When we’re ready. When we’ve married, and we’re a little older, and a little stronger. I’ll come to your auditions, and your movie premiers, and I’ll be sitting next to you when you receive your first award. I’ll support you. Our life won’t be perfect, and it won’t always be spontaneous, but it’ll be ours. Tell me that’s what you want, too.”
I thought of Keaton’s baby growing inside of me. I thought of Keaton’s smile, and his dimple, and his laughter, and every part of him that I’d fallen so deeply in love with in just the course of one weekend.
And I thought of how much I was going to hurt Matthew if I let him go.
Matthew hadn’t let me go, not in the year that we’d been apart. He’d been faithful, and he had given me everything that I’d asked for.
Time. Patience.
Love… the kind of love that wasn’t new or exciting, but had been born of hardships, and quiet moments, and whispered dreams.
I couldn’t let the baby be the reason that I chose Keaton, not any more than I could let the memory of my son be the reason that I chose Matthew.
If Keaton truly loves me, then he will give me the time that I need to decide.
Meeting Matthew’s eyes, I drew my fingers over his cheek lovingly, pulling his mouth closer to mine. “Okay. Come with me. But will you give me time to figure out what’s going on in here?” I whispered my question, gathering his hand and pressing it over my heart.
He sighed deeply, rolling back on his heels. His eyes never left mine.
“I’ll do that, Vivian, if you promise me one thing.”
I nodded quickly, gripping his palm.
His stern gaze never faltered from mine. “You don’t let him touch you. You tell him right away that he keeps his distance. I’m willing to be patient, but I’m not willing to share you. You will promise me. And if you break your promise, I can’t forgive you. There’s no coming back from this. Do you understand me? Am I clear?”
I swallowed hard, my heart thudding in my chest.
Matthew’s dark eyes flashed with determination.
I owe him this much, after all that we’ve been through.
Either way, once I tell him about this baby, I’ll hurt him.
“I promise,” I sighed, nodding once. “You deserve my respect, Matthew. No matter what happens.”
He returned my soft breath, gathering me into his arms and pressing my cheek against his own pounding heart.
I flattened my palm against his back, watching the camera charm dangle from my wrist.
Before A Perfect World
Movie Trilogy, Book Two
Kimberly Adams
Connect with Kimberly at
www.ADAMSROMANCE.com
Books by
Kimberly Adams
The Movie Trilogy
Below Unforgiven
On Heartbreak Ridge
Before a Perfect World
Beyond Hereafter
The Roam Series
Roam
Fall
Rise
Rush
Rule
West
Reign
The Fire Ballad Series
Eighth Note
Carousel
Accolade
Table of Contents
Nine ½ Weeks
Sin City
The Hoax
The Help
The Girl Can’t Help It
Charade
Pulp Fiction
Point Blank
&nbs
p; Demon Knight
Made of Honor
Blast from the Past
The Game
About Last Night
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Save the Last Dance
Run
California Dreaming
This Is The End
Wrecked
Unforgiven
28 Days Later
The Promise
Below Unforgiven (The Movie Book 1) Page 23