by McAdams, Mia
I laugh, realizing how much better I feel after telling Wolf my story. A story I don’t tell anyone because I’m ashamed of my mother’s actions and embarrassed by not having what I deserve in a mother. I’ve gone through all kinds of emotions over what she did. Confusion, hurt, pain, regret, anger, and grief over the loss of my mother. She may not be dead, but my dream of what a mother should be certainly is.
Wolf adjusts his body so he’s kissing my shoulder now. Soft kisses that make my heart flutter and my knees a little weak.
“Okay,” I say because I can’t imagine saying no to him about anything right now.
I take a deep breath and start a melody I know he’s more than familiar with. His song “Darkness Wins” is one of his earliest songs. I’ve never actually played it before, but the song has been in my head since before I met him.
When I open my mouth to sing, the words bleed from my soul and seep out my pores. I feel every single ounce of the emotion in his lyrics as if they’re mine. The song, contrary to the title, is about not letting the darkness win. Not giving in and succumbing to the pain and letting it control you. The moment this song came on the radio, I became an instant Wolf fan. He has no idea how his music carried me through a lot of the hardest times in my life.
The last note punches through the air and lingers a little before Wolf sinks his teeth into the skin between my shoulder and neck. “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. And seen.” He groans and presses me back until I’m lying flat on the piano bench. “I think you were made for me.” His eyes are on my lips and then back on my eyes. “Don’t ever keep anything from me again, okay? I get why you felt like you need to keep the best parts of you hidden, and you can continue to do it if it helps you, just not around me. I want all of you.” He presses a hand onto my chest, motioning to my heart. “Everything.”
Tears well in my eyes at his sincerity. My throat is clogged with emotion and I’m not sure I can speak, so I nod. He leans down and presses his lips to mine. He’s been so patient with me through all of this, forgiving me even when I hurt him, loving me when I’m broken. I grip a handful of his hair and hold onto him.
When I finally get the emotions under control, I pull my lips from his. “You have everything for as long as you want it.”
“Forever, then. I want all of you. And I want it forever.”
His eyes are intense as they stare back into mine. The blood running through my veins is pumping so fast. Our connection has been intense from the moment we met, but this . . . this might be the moment I realize how strong our connection actually is. And it started before we even knew we’d met at the Aragon.
I lift a hand to his cheek and brush a finger across it. “I’m so in love with you. I know I messed up when I left. I know it hurt you. I’m so sorry. You’re the last person I ever want to hurt. Forgive me, and I promise I’ll never keep anything from you again. Never.”
His smile tells me everything I need to know. He sighs like a weight is lifting from him, and then he leans down and brushes his lips against mine. “You’re forgiven.”
I giggle when he plants his face on my neck and tickles it with his unshaven jaw. “You know what I miss?”
“Hmm?” he moans while alternating between sucking and licking.
“Writing together. Can we write something?”
“Aren’t you hungry?” he asks as he nibbles my neck. “I’m starved, baby.” There he goes calling me baby again. I’m starting to notice the swap between vulnerable Wolf and horny Wolf.
As he works his way down my body, lifting the bottom of my dress as he goes, I stifle a moan and hold onto his shoulders. “Wolf, I’m serious. We haven’t written a song in a long time. I have the itch.”
When he reaches my thighs, he parts them smoothly and brushes a finger up my center. “Let me scratch it.”
“Wolf,” I laugh, but it feels too good to tell him to stop again. He sinks into the center through my panties, running his teeth along my core, and stealing the moan I was trying to suppress.
A sound at the door makes us jump. I sit up, smoothing down my dress while Wolf adjusts himself next to me.
“Let’s go to our room,” he whispers.
I smile. “You grab us some food. Since you’re so hungry. And then we’re going to write. I’ll grab my songbook and meet you in your room.”
“Our room.”
“Our room.”
He kisses me, and we break apart just as a rowdy crowd surges through the doors.
“What the fuck have you two been up to?” Hedge calls out, already drunk. He’s got a girl under each arm. One is already reaching for his crotch. I watch stupefied as he steers them down the hall to his bedroom. Wow.
Derrick and Terese stroll in next. Terese gives me a smile and starts to walk toward me, but Derrick pulls her into his arms and kisses her lips. “My room. Ten minutes.” She nods and walks away, but not before he gives her a good smack on the ass. Who would have known Terese and Derrick would have found love? They’re pretty adorable together, too.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you at all since we’ve been here.” She frowns.
I laugh. “Well, you’re too busy face-sucking your new boy toy over there. And I’ve had a lot of making up to do with Wolf.”
She catches my smile and returns it. “I take it you two are good?”
I nod. “More than good.”
“Good. Derrick and I were talking tonight. We should go on a double date this week. You know, let the guys woo us a little.”
My eyes light up. “I love that idea.”
“Okay, good.” She turns her head, letting her eyes dart over her shoulder anxiously.
I laugh and push her jokingly. “Go ahead, go back to Derrick.”
She winks before walking off and calling over her shoulder, “He is kind of addicted to me.”
Still laughing, I head down the opposite hall to the master bedroom and let myself in. I have no idea where to start looking for my songbook. I haven’t seen it since I left the tour a week ago. It was in Wolf’s nightstand since that’s where we always wrote. Rory and Rex promised to pack up everything in the drawers, so it must be in one of the cases they lugged in.
I start my search, and after a few minutes, I reach the container that holds Wolf’s condoms and lotion and some other freaky gadgets I’ve never seen before.
My eyes grow wide as I pick up one of the objects. Wolf must have a kinkier side than he’s shown me.
“What are you doing?” Wolf comes in with a plate of food in his hand and shuts the door behind him.
I hold up the furry handcuffs, an eyebrow raised. “And who have you used these on?”
His eyes narrow and darken a little. “A fan gave them to me last week. I was holding on to them in case you decided to beg for forgiveness.”
“Excuse me?”
His lips quirk up at the corner. “Are you upset that I accepted a sex toy from a fan or that I wanted you to beg?”
I narrow my eyes back at him. “I’m supposed to believe that you’ve never used these before?”
His chuckle rumbles from his throat as he sets the plate down. “Relax. I never used them. You’ll just have to trust me.” He approaches me as I kneel in front of the container. In one swift move, he wraps my hair around his fist in a makeshift ponytail. “I wouldn’t mind using them tonight. I’m getting hard just thinking about you strapped to our bed, naked. I can do whatever I want to you.”
I swallow, and suddenly everything feels hot. “You find my songbook and I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.” God, please find my songbook quickly.
Wolf agrees and kneels down beside me. “It’s got to be in one of these.” He motions to the boxes Rex and Rory packed.
“I’ve been looking,” I say, unconvinced.
We spend another hour searching. By the time we’re done, I’m panicking, pacing the room, trying to remember the last time I saw it. Wolf sits at t
he edge of his bed, hands in his hair, trying to keep me calm.
“When’s the last time you wrote in it?”
“With you. We were in bed and got distracted, like usual. But I remember picking it up off the floor after and putting it back in your drawer. That was the night before the Tony fiasco. When did you last see it?”
Wolf appears to think about it. “The day you left, I was so pissed I grabbed it and handed it to Crawley. Told him to ship it to you. And then I thought better of it and took it back. Put it right back in the drawer.”
My heart stops at his words. “Crawley knew where it was, then. Shit. Did you see it after that?”
Wolf shakes his head, the color draining from his face as we come to the same realization. “No, every time I looked at that damn drawer, I got pissed. There were pictures of you, your songbook, condoms . . . everything reminded me of you, and it pissed me off. So no, I didn’t open it again.”
“You know what this means, right?”
He looks at me, his expression filled with dread. “You think?”
I nod. “I guess we know why my mom was with Crawley in your bedroom that night. They probably went back there to take it and ended up fucking.”
Wolf’s face turns red as he realizes I’m right. I have to be. We’ve looked everywhere. “Before we keep going down this path, let me talk to Rory and Rex. And Doug, too. They may have put it somewhere to keep it safe.”
I nod, hopeful as he reaches for his phone and dials every single one of them. None of them saw my songbook, but Doug made a point of mentioning that he noticed my mom carrying a satchel when she was escorted from the venue.
Wolf looks at me after ending the call with Doug. “Looks like your mother stole your lyrics. Again. And Crawley was in on it. I wonder how long they’ve been planning this. Shit. Crawley was trying to fuck with your tour contract, too.”
“What?” I ask, shocked. “No one mentioned anything to me.”
“He didn’t get away with it. He was trying to sign the rights of your songs over to him, but Doug caught it. Well, his assistant caught it, and they rectified it. I didn’t even think about mentioning it to you.” I watch him pace around the room, speaking his thoughts out loud. “Wow. Somehow Destiny and Crawley bonded over their intention to steal from you. Now we know why they were together.”
I look at him, hearing him, but not making out a word. Rage has possessed me. Words are jumbled, but with every second that passes, I slowly gain control, using the strength of his eyes to pull my focus. The rage begins to dissolve. The pace of my pounding heart slows and I’m able to take a deep breath.
Wolf’s eyes search mine, his determination evident in his hardened expression. “Destiny already hurt you once. I’m not going to let it happen again. Destiny and Crawley will not get away with this.”
Wolf
Lyric doesn’t sleep. She’s restless and gets up a dozen times to go to the bathroom for no other reason than to move. I can tell her mind is working a million miles an hour, and my heart aches because of it. There’s nothing I can do. She refuses my comfort. Doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s mad. She cries. But she’s silent.
When she comes back to bed for the hundredth time, I wrap my arms around her. “Not right now,” she pleads. This time I don’t listen. I tighten my hold and bury my nose in her hair. “I promise you, Lyric, we’re going to get your songbook back. If that woman even thinks about stealing another song from you, she’s going down.”
Lyric lets out a sob. Instead of turning her to face me, I move around her so that I’m in front of her. She plants her face in the crook of my neck and cries. “Why can’t she just leave me alone?”
I clench my jaw and count to five. “She’s sick, Lyric. She doesn’t deserve to have you in her life. She doesn’t have the first clue what it means to be a decent human being, let alone a mother.” I stroke her hair while she continues to cry. “Do you want me to get you something? To sleep?”
She nods, so I get up and walk to the bathroom. I search my bags for my Tylenol PM. There’s never time to sleep, so when there is and my mind is on overload, I take one of these suckers. It kills my energy for a couple days, but lack of sleep might kill me faster. I take out a pill, grab a bottle of water from the counter, and take them to her.
She sits up, gulps down the pill and water, and then pulls me into her arms. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out.”
At two in the afternoon, we break from the studio. It’s supposed to be a two-hour break, but I’m not sure if I’m coming back. I tell the guys to record without me if I can’t make it. Mitch has been diligently providing advice and feedback, and since I told him about what happened with Lyric and why she had to skip their lunch, he told me to go and call him later.
She’s still asleep when I get home, which explains why my dozens of calls and texts have gone unanswered. I’ve been a wreck all day worrying about her. I lie next to her and stroke her back as I watch her inhale and exhale. I think it was four in the morning when she finally drifted off in my arms, and the pill could possibly knock her out for twelve hours.
When she starts to shift an hour later, I breathe a silent sigh of relief. She moans and rolls over. “How long did I sleep?”
“About eleven hours.” I smile, stroking her cheek. “Those pills are potent.”
She groans again. “I was supposed to have lunch with my dad. He probably thinks I blew him off.”
I kiss her nose. “He knows what happened.”
“You told him?” she asks, panicked.
Shit, I hope I didn’t do something wrong.
“I’m sorry, babe. Mitch was asking where you were, and he should know. He’s your father and he cares about you. He wants to do something about it—call her label and threaten to sue if she does anything with the songs. But he wanted to talk to you about it first.”
“I can’t think straight right now. Can you just hold me for a minute?”
“Of course.” I tighten my hold and watch as she drifts off again.
When she wakes up half an hour later, I’m in the kitchen. She comes in with only a bra and panties on as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. I see my future flash before my eyes as I imagine Lyric barefoot and pregnant in our kitchen, cooking while I try to molest her from behind. I want all of that with her. Three months ago, I couldn’t even see myself having a girlfriend. Lyric has changed everything.
“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?” She smiles and wraps her arms around me from behind.
I turn off the heat on the stove, scoop out the grilled cheese sandwiches, and toss them on a plate. Then I turn to her and kiss her lips. “You need food. I’m feeding you, and then we’re going to handle your mother.”
Lyric groans and nips at my chest. She loves when I walk around shirtless. A lot. She runs a hand up my chest and then back down until she reaches the band of my shorts. “I think the extra sleep made me really horny.”
With a teasing look, she slips a hand under the waistband of my shorts and grabs a handful of my cock. It’s already hard. The moment she started walking toward me, my dick chirped right up. Her words have the right effect to bring me to full mass.
“He’s so happy to see you, babe.”
She smiles. “Good. Because I was thinking that I need to repay him for keeping him out last night.”
I smirk. “He understands, but he’s open to any form of makeup offers you have in mind.”
Without taking her eyes off mine, she slips my shorts down and kneels. I watch as she eases me into her mouth little by little. She works me until I’m using my full arms to hold myself up against the stove while she takes every bit of come in her mouth and swallows.
She licks her lips when she’s done, replaces my shorts, and stands to give me a kiss. “How about that grilled cheese now?”
I’m still recovering as she grabs
our plates and takes them to the other room. Why does Lyric look happy? It doesn’t make sense, but I’m not about to complain after that. Holy shit, Lyric’s mouth is amazing, and her appetite impressive.
She’s already downed half of one sandwich by the time I join her. I laugh and snatch a half of the second sandwich before she gets to it. “You’re in a weird happy mood.” I say, giving her a strange look.
Lyric glares back. “ ‘Weird happy’? Is that some kind of oxymoron? I slept better last night than I’ve slept in a long time. I’m pissed, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. And I trust you. You said she’s not going to get away with it this time.” When she looks at me, there’s pleading in her eyes. Lyric is scared. “I’m not going to let her get away with it this time. I’ll do whatever I have to do. She won’t win.”
My chest expands at her words. This is the fighter in Lyric I know and love. It’s the fighter who beat down my door to get my attention, and I’ve never lost focus. It’s about damn time she directs that ferocity at those who take advantage of her. A week ago she would have shut down and refused to do anything about it. I’m not sure exactly why she’s okay with ending this battle between the young girl inside her and the woman she’s meant to be, but if she’s ready to do it now, I’ll do everything in my power to help her.
“Then let’s call your dad after we eat.” I half expect her to say no.
To my surprise she nods. “Okay.”
We’re in the den that Lyric’s been using as an office when I dial Mitch from my cell phone. “Hey Mitch, it’s Wolf and Lyric. We wanted to talk to you about Destiny.”
“Hey,” Mitch’s voice comes through the speaker. “Just in time. We’re finishing up here. I think you’ll like what the guys did today, but you need to be in for a full day tomorrow.”
“Yes, sir.” I can’t believe Mitch Cassidy is telling me what to do.
Lyric gives me a look. Interest. Surprise. Something between the two. I never had an opportunity to tell her he was helping us. She looks . . . impressed.