by Jani Kay
No. I had to do something. Anything.
As he made a grab for my free wrist. I lashed out and slapped him.
Anger flashed over his face before he started laughing. “Oh babe, you’re just making this even more fun. I love fucking a wild woman. Tame bores me.”
“You want wild?”
I clawed my nails into his cheek and dragged them over his skin, satisfaction filling me as four angry lines appeared. He grabbed my wrist and pushed down, tying it to the bed with the restraints that he’d used earlier.
“You little bitch. I always knew you had fight in you. What was that boring vanilla sex you used to give me? This is what I crave. Tonight, I’m fucking you my way and you’re going to love it.”
Leaning over me, he came in for a kiss. I pulled up my knee with every bit of strength I had left in me, crashing into his balls with all my might. Nolan screamed, then fell back onto the bed, cupping his groin and swearing out loud.
That was going to cost me, but I’d be fucked if I was letting him take me without a fight. Of all the terrible things I’d endured in my life, I’d never imagined being raped by a man I’d once cared for. Couldn’t he see how wrong that was?
My mind scrambled for options as he lay grunting like a wounded animal. Helplessness washed over me as I pulled at the restraints. I wasn’t going anywhere.
The madness in his eyes filled me with terror. “I’m going to make you pay for that. With blood.”
The crazy laugh that fell from his lips made my blood run cold. “But don’t worry. It’s not your blood I want.”
“What do you mean?” My voice strained as I tried to keep it together. Panic swept through me, and my heartbeat picked up a few paces.
“Your lover. I want his blood.” His face contorted with a mix of pain and pleasure that frightened the fuck out of me. “And I will have it. I’ve sent him to Afghanistan, and I’ll make damn sure he comes back in a body bag.” He smacked his lips as he dealt his trump card.
I sucked in a sharp breath.
“Why?” My voice sounded hollow.
“Because he’s trying to steal you from me. Because I saw him fuck you with my own eyes. Because I need to put an end to the motherfucker’s life so that we can live happily ever after.”
My head was spinning.
“Nolan, listen to me. Harrison and I are over. He’s not my lover . . . anymore. I don’t mean a thing to him.” The truth of that statement hurt more than anything Nolan could do to me. “It was just a fling. I mean nothing to him, so there is no point in killing him.”
“Too late, little darling. He’s on his way to meet his maker. He has to pay for what he’s done. It’s as simple as that.”
I blinked fast, stopping the tears from falling. If Nolan ever suspected I was lying to him about anything, I’d have no chance of negotiating Harrison’s release, but telling the truth wasn’t easy either.
I feigned contempt. “I don’t really care what happens to Harrison, since we broke up. But I hate the thought of bloodshed in the name of revenge. Tell me what you want, Nolan. Let’s see if we can make this work for . . . us.” I nearly choked as the words came from my mouth. What the hell was I doing? Sealing my own fate by letting Nolan win was the hardest thing to do.
Something that sounded like a strangled laugh came from my lips. It was Harrison or me. One of us had to die. Harrison’s blood would spill or my soul would be destroyed, killing me as surely as if he’d put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger.
“I knew you’d see it my way . . . sooner or later. I’m not a patient man, and you’ve tested me to the fucking limit.”
“I’m sorry.” That was half true. I was sorry that it had come to a choice. This choice.
Sacrifice myself so that Harrison will live.
Could I do it? Could I give up my freedom in exchange for saving Harrison? A calmness washed over me that I hadn’t felt in days. My voice was low and raspy as I repeated my question. “What do you want, Nolan?”
“Marry me tomorrow.”
Jesus!
I blinked fast. “Tomorrow?”
“Yes. Show the world you are mine. Unless . . .” He smirked, and I couldn’t help shivering.
“Tomorrow is fine. I don’t have other plans.” I laughed softly. I was screwed either way. Harrison didn’t want me anymore, but that didn’t mean he had to be sent to his death. “Promise me you will abort whatever you had planned for Harrison. And Savage. We can get married tomorrow if you promise.”
I searched his face, looking for signs of sincerity. These days I had no idea what it looked like any longer; I’d been screwed over so many times.
Nolan laughed. It sounded cold and devoid of emotion. “You forget you are tied to my bed, darling. In reality, you have zero bargaining power. But as a gift to my bride-to-be, if it will make you feel better . . . yeah, I promise.”
I tried hard to not let the relief show on my face.
Oh, the fucking irony.
I’d just signed my own death warrant.
I despised this man who traded lives for his own gain. I hated that I’d be tied to him for the rest of my life. Senator Parker would make damn sure I didn’t leave his side unless it suited him. I was his prisoner for life, only I’d be calling it marriage and pretending I liked it to avoid a backlash.
Life. It was as cruel as it was bitter. I was trading my soul for that of a man who didn’t care if I breathed. Yet this was the only option and the only way forward.
My life for his.
Chapter 32 — Eva
Nolan rubbed a hand over his inflamed cheek. “We’re going to be happy, babe. If you fuck like the lioness I met with today, all my wet dreams will have come true. Not only will I have the backing of a powerful music mogul, I’ll have the most beautiful woman in LA in my bed.”
I gulped for air. Did I hear right? What did my father have to do with any of this?
I wriggled as I tried to loosen the ties around my wrists. “Hang on. Why are you mentioning my dad? Does he have anything to do with this?”
“Um, not directly. But I already asked him for your hand in marriage. For the second time, he gave his blessing. Said he’d do whatever it took to get Summers out of your life. He even joked he’d rather have a baby kisser than a baby killer as his son-in-law.”
Oh God. I stopped fighting the restraints and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again, I took a deep breath and spoke in the calmest voice I could muster. “What else?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, a deep frown forming between his eyes.
“How much money did he pledge to your next campaign?”
It was starting to fall into place. My father would sponsor Nolan to stop me from being with Harrison. It was all about money and power, and never about me. I was nothing more to Nolan than a way to my father’s checkbook and ultimately a possession he owned.
“It wasn’t like that. It was just an implication. But I know Bill is good for a few million.”
What had I done to deserve this? The only man who probably wanted nothing from me for his own gain was Ryder.
Nolan gave me a lopsided grin. It was the same smile that used to make my heart skip a beat. Now it left my heart cold. I’d seen the real man behind the fake smile, and he creeped the fuck out of me. How I’d be able to keep to my side of the bargain, I had absolutely no idea.
“Since you’ve agreed to marry me tomorrow, I guess we have something to celebrate.”
He shifted closer to me, leaning on his elbows as he hovered over me.
“Um . . .” I licked over my lips as nerves got the better of me. Silence stretched out between us, and my heart pounded in my ears as I floundered and my throat grew too tight to speak.
“Yeah?” Cold beady eyes stared back at me.
Gathering all my courage, I tried to keep my voice even when I spoke. I didn’t want Nolan to hear the panic I felt. “Why the rush to get married? I . . . um, I don’t even have a gown.”
I had to buy time. Maybe he’d change his mind. “Don’t be silly. I want to look beautiful on my wedding day. It’s every girl’s dream.” I didn’t sound convincing, even to myself.
His nostrils flared and the frown was back. “Are you trying to back out?”
I could hardly breathe. Fear gripped my insides. I’d always been able to reason with Nolan in the past, but in his present mindset he wasn’t leaving any room for negotiation or compromise.
Moving my head from side to side, I spoke softly. “No, of course not. It’s just that I always wanted a fairytale wedding. The dress, the flowers, Daddy to walk me down the aisle . . . the whole thing.”
Nolan’s eyes softened for a few moments, and he almost seemed like the man I used to adore. “I’ll see what I can do to make it the best I can. But it’s going to happen tomorrow, Eva.” His jaw clamped tight. “That part is not negotiable.”
Holding back the urge to scream and cry and lash out like a crazy woman at a fate that seemed worse than death, my chest heaved as I sucked at air.
Harrison. I’m doing this for him.
As long as I repeated that over and over in my head, I’d be fine, even though my insides rattled and I wanted to run as far away as my legs would carry me. Maybe Nolan suspected as much, because I was still tied to the damn bed, and my wrists were hurting from the friction, as I’d been trying to subtly wrangle them free without success.
I was stuck. This was the way my life was going to be, and there wasn’t much I could do about it, given the circumstances. Resistance only fueled his temper, and I was afraid if I pushed too hard, he’d renege on his side of the bargain. Not that I had much of a guarantee that he wouldn’t revoke his promise anyway.
I didn’t trust Nolan Parker. Not for a second.
Moving closer to me, Nolan’s hand slipped under my clothing, and he caressed my ribs and chest until they came to my breasts. Kneading and squeezing the naked flesh, the look of arousal that flashed across his face caused me to brace myself for what was coming. I’d agreed to marry him, so nothing I said at this point would stop him from forcing himself on me. I gritted my teeth together as he pinched and rolled my nipples—something that he loved doing and which had always turned me on in the past filled me with repulsion now.
With his mouth on my breast, he sucked on a nipple and sighed with satisfaction. “At fucking last, babe. I’ve been waiting for this for days.”
Flinching as his hand drifted lower toward the space between my thighs, I pressed my legs together to ward him off. His hand slipped between my thighs and pushed them apart just enough to gain access to my pussy.
Oh Lord.
His finger pressed against my clit and he rubbed in small circles, causing the blood to rush to the nerve-filled nub. Heat rose to my cheeks as I felt my arousal grow against my will. I hadn’t had sex in a while, yet I hated that my body reacted like that.
Of course it was exactly what Nolan wanted. Three fingers plunged inside me, sudden and harsh, invading my most private parts with brutal force. He moved faster and faster, hurting me as his fingers fucked me relentlessly. There was nothing remotely sexy about the experience. At least, not to me. Nolan’s face had an expression I’d never witnessed before, and it frightened the hell out of me. He was a man on a mission.
If I begged him to stop, it would only spur him on. My whole body tensed as I squirmed and gripped the sheets beneath my fingertips for something to ground me. Something to hold on to.
If only I wasn’t tied down. Fighting him was exhausting and futile.
Nolan pushed my thighs apart and pressed down hard. His face disappeared between my legs, and I gasped as he latched on to my clit. Every bit of arousal I’d felt earlier dissipated as I dissociated my mind and heart from my body.
It was almost like an out-of-body experience; I was simply an observer to what was happening to me. Nolan stopped and lifted his head. Gripping my upper arms, he shook me violently until my teeth clattered.
“Get some life into you, woman. What happened to the lioness?”
“Fuck you,” I spat out, against my better judgment.
“No. I’m going to fuck you.” His teeth gnashed at my ear, his face only inches from mine.
His cock slammed into me, thrusting hard as he drove into me again and again. His body covered mine and held me captive, his weight crushing me.
I hate you.
I pressed my lips together tightly, and my head thrashed from side to side as I tried to avoid the lips searching for mine. As long as he kept busy down there, I could close my eyes and pretend I was in a dream. A nightmare, to be more accurate. But kissing . . . it was so damn intimate. I couldn’t bring myself to allow it.
Fingers closed around my throat, squeezing my windpipe until I could barely breathe. Was this what I’d have to endure for the rest of my life? Terror would become my stalker, my husband my tormentor.
A sharp, piercing pain speared my heart. Didn’t anybody care what had happened to me? Was I just forgotten and tossed aside by my family and my lover? Out of everything, that was the hardest pill to swallow. That they’d leave me to suffer whatever Nolan handed out without batting an eyelid.
I might as well die if this is what my life will become.
I sucked at pretending and faking. Without a doubt, there was no way in hell I’d survive with a crushed spirit. Because that was exactly what Nolan would do to me—kill me from the inside out until I was nothing more than an empty shell.
Harrison, where the fuck are you?
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I gasped for air. My legs and arms went limp, and I just laid there with my eyes squeezed tightly shut, sobbing as Nolan used my body.
I. Hate. You.
Hate. You.
It was one thing Nolan couldn’t take from me. One thing that would grow and expand with every passing day. Hatred swelled in my gut as I endured the torture he forced upon me.
I could breathe again. There would be no sleep for me, no reprieve. I was too afraid and too shocked by what had just happened to ever want to sleep again.
Nolan lay on the bed beside me, his breathing erratic and heavy.
I had no idea how much time passed as I lay dead still, fearful that if I stirred, Nolan would repeat his hellish performance again. I kept my eyes closed and listened. A long time passed before Nolan’s breathing became rhythmic and even. Good. Sooner or later, he had to give in to sleep—he was human after all.
I clung to the two emotions that still made sense—disgust and contempt for the man sleeping as if he had no care in the world surged through me.
Hatred would be my ally. My only friend. My saving grace.
Chapter 33 — Harrison
Life had me by the balls. Savage was right. I’d changed without really thinking about it. I no longer wanted to die or have my life ended in any way. For the first time since that fateful incident, I actually had something to live for. Something to hope for.
The plane touched down for refueling at a military base in Germany, and I had to act fast to get myself out of the situation that was certain to send me to my death.
“Speak to the captain,” Savage said. “Tell him something serious happened at home and you need to get back.”
“And abort the mission? There’s no way in hell they’d agree to that.”
We’d disembarked the aircraft to stretch our legs and get some fresh air. The place smelled of gasoline and grease and my despair. I took a few big gulps of my fizzy drink and belched. Flying always upset my stomach, and now it was worse than ever.
Savage rubbed his chin. “Hmmm . . . you’re probably right. You have a target on your back the size of a bull’s head.”
“Somebody wants me gone. No prizes for guessing who.”
“What makes you think it’s one person?” The concern in Savage’s voice disturbed me. “You know how you love conspiracy th
eories? Well, I think this is exactly one of those tangled messes, and you and I are slap bang in the fucking middle of it.”
I nearly spat out my drink. Who the hell did Parker have on our tails? Could I trust anyone other than my partner on this mission? And I’d never really thought of the impact my shit had on Savage. As partners we were bound together. And now I’d dragged the only man I could ever really call a friend into this clusterfuck of a situation.
“So you agree it’s not just my imagination?”
Savage screwed up his face. “Somebody wants you dead, buddy, and since I’m always by your side, I guess it’s just become fucking personal. I’m not ready to die just yet—not by a long fucking shot. I have plans to live till a ripe old age and see my grandchildren grow up.”
I chuckled. The situation was anything but funny, but Savage had a weird way of putting things in perspective. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
“Me too. I wanna live and grow old.” With Eva.
Savage grinned at me, his pearly whites glistening in the semi-dark. He didn’t need to say anything more.
“You have no idea how fucking great it is to hear you say that.” He patted me on the back and for a moment something passed between us. Bonded by a brotherhood, our fates were linked inextricably. Savage had been my partner for so long and if nothing else, I owed him the chance to have a great life.
“We’re gonna get out of this alive and be back on the next plane out of here.” My jaw set tight as I made up my mind. There was no fucking around this time. Our chances of getting out alive depended on it.
“We’ve gotta get in and out of this mission as fast as possible. While you’ve been moping about your girl, I’ve been strategizing, and I think I’ve got the answer.” Savage cracked open a beer and clinked the bottleneck against that of my soft drink.
“By the way, I’m wondering if a blonde woman has anything to do with your sudden desire to become a grandfather,” I said, taking the piss out of him. After Savage got dumped by his fiancée, less than a week before their wedding, he’d sworn off women. Clearly he was back in the game if he was planning on having a family.