by Lia Lee
“I’m guessing from your reaction you didn’t plan this,” she said.
I shook my head and started crying. “Randy broke up with me a few months ago. I had a one-night stand. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m on the pill and everything.”
Doctor Sanchez handed me a tissue, and I dabbed at my eyes and blew my nose. It felt like everything was falling apart. Since Randy had dumped me, my whole life had spiraled out of control. First the change of not having him, the mental battle to fight what he had said to me. Then trying to do things that were so far out of my comfort zone I was still trying to adapt. And now this. A baby.
“Let’s work it out,” she said gently. “Did you miss a pill on any of the days this month?”
I shook my head. I was very religious in taking my pills. Being a career woman, I hadn’t ever wanted to fall pregnant by accident.
“What about alcohol – did you throw up soon after taking your pill at any point?”
I shook my head again.
“And medication? Did you take any antibiotics lately?”
I nodded. “I had strep three weeks ago. I took an antibiotics course to get rid of it. I was going on a trip. The trip where this one-night stand happened.”
Doctor Sanchez nodded. “Antibiotics can counter your pill. How long was the course?”
“Four days.”
“So, it’s like you didn’t take your pills for at least four days.”
I sighed. That made a lot of sense but God, what a mess.
“What now?” I asked.
“Do you have contact with the father?”
I shook my head. “I barely knew his name. I do know where to find him, but I don’t know how to do this.”
“There are options,” Doctor Sanchez said. “You can keep the baby or consider adoption or abortion.”
I cringed. “That’s so much to think about right now.”
“It is,” Doctor Sanchez agreed. “But if you want my personal opinion, I would suggest you contact him. If anything, it helps to make a decision together.”
I nodded. “Thank you, doctor,” I said.
Doctor Sanchez nodded. “Good luck, Fiona.”
I was going to need it.
When I sat in the car outside the doctor’s office, I tried to figure out what to do. My head spun, and I was feeling sick again. My stomach was tight with nerves. What the hell was I going to do? How was I supposed to tell Laird? Hi, remember me? We fucked one night. Guess what? I’m pregnant with your child. Shit. I had no idea what I was going to do.
And I had no one to ask. I wasn’t ready to tell Jamie and there was no way I could talk to my parents about it. It was bad enough that I had stopped talking to them while I was with Randy. How would I break it to them that I was pregnant? With a baby that wasn’t Randy’s?
I headed back to the office. I had to take care of a few more things before I could head home. I wished I could go home and crawl under the covers. Instead, I drove to the office and searched for Jamie until I found her in the break room. She stood at the coffee station, blowing on a cup of steaming coffee when I came in. She was the only person I could turn to with this. Even though I wasn’t ready for it. I didn’t think I would ever be ready to face it and Jamie had helped me through the worst, before.
“What’s wrong?” she asked when I walked in. She could see it on my face. I asked her to come to my office and told her what had happened. She listened quietly, giving me big eyes until I finished.
“Oh, my God, Fiona,” she said when I was done. “This is crazy.”
I nodded. “Pretty shitty, right? I don’t know what to do. What would you do?”
“Honestly?” Jamie asked without thinking about it, “I would tell him. Even if it is only for legal reasons. He deserves to know and to be part of whatever decision you make.”
I nodded. Dr. Sanchez had said the same thing. I sighed. The trip should have been an adventure. The one-night stand had been me proving to myself that I could be fun. Now it had turned into a nightmare. Everything was upside down. I had no idea what to do, and if this was what came from trying to be spontaneous, I was never going to do it again.
Of course, this was what would happen to me when I tried to be exciting. I had stepped out of my comfort zone, and instead of hitting the ground running, I had tripped and fallen on my face.
Chapter 10
Laird
Sometimes, the lodge was like a ghost town, and Jackson, Hilda and I spent our nights drinking and enjoying the quiet times. Sometimes, we had so many guests at the lodge I barely got to break for lunch.
The past week had been a busy one like that. We had a group of mid-week tourists that had been over-eager about the nature hikes with none of the experience. Charlie, the tour guide, had needed both Jackson and me to keep the tourists from doing something stupid and killing themselves off. What I often thought was common sense appeared not to be the case with everyone else, and they did things I would never dream of doing.
As it was, we’d had to call in air support for someone who’d had a heart attack.
It hadn’t been our fault. He hadn’t fallen into a ditch and broken a bone, sprained an ankle or dislocated a shoulder, but it was traumatic when someone had such a close call with Death we could smell its rotten breath.
Luckily, the old man had made it, and he had promised us he would be back to complete the tour. I loved it when people were so tough when they were willing to fight for it and do what they wanted to do despite life trying to get them down. I had respect for people who picked themselves up and tried again.
The heart attack victim had made me realize how important life was. When someone had such a close encounter with death, it made me think about my own life choices. I had come out here to escape the rat race in the city and that had been one of the best choices I’d ever made. But when it was finally my time to kick it, what did I have to leave behind? What would be my legacy? It made me think about what people would have to remember me by. I had created nothing. I had accomplished nothing worth noticing in history books or children and grandchildren to tell my story when I was gone.
If I had nothing to leave behind to prove that I had been alive at all, what was the point of it? These questions were on my mind after we had heard the old man was happy, that he was healthy and wanted to try again despite his family’s protests.
But the week was so busy that I put my head down and carried on working.
The downside to a busy week like that was that I didn’t get the alone time I had come out here for. The upside was that it had finally taken my mind off Fiona. It had taken three weeks, but I’d done it. I had finally managed to take the power away from her memories and put my energy back into the here and now. I had a job here. I was living a life I loved, and that was all that mattered.
I hadn’t slept with anyone since Fiona. Hilda and I hadn’t hooked up, and even though I told myself it was because she had found someone else, I knew it was because I didn’t feel like Hilda did it for me anymore. She was great, but it was empty with her compared to what I’d had with Fiona that night. Somehow, it seemed like a colossal anti-climax to go back to that.
On Friday, I got off work early. The mid-week guests had checked out of the lodge at two. After that, Jackson and I had run through the hiking trail again on our four-wheelers, ensuring they hadn’t left anything hazardous and man-made behind and someone hadn’t somehow been left behind. It sounded crazy, but we had seen everything in the few years I had worked here. To find an abandoned friend was worse than finding a bag with a cell phone and a wallet.
“What a week,” Jackson commented when we arrived back at the lodge and returned the four-wheelers to the parking garages where we left them for the night. “Let’s hope this weekend isn’t so busy.”
“Doesn’t look like it,” I said. “Charlie didn’t mention anything about a new group coming in. You can relax.”
“God knows I need it,” Jackson said. “I’ll see you tomorr
ow for drinks.”
I nodded. Jackson and I had a standing arrangement when things were quiet to catch up over drinks on a Saturday evening.
I climbed into my truck and headed up the mountain, ready to be alone.
When I arrived at the cabin, I showered, dressed in tracksuit pants and a shirt after I’d been in jeans all day and made myself a sandwich. I had just sat down to eat, switching on the television, when I heard a car pull up. It was probably Charlie. Sometimes, he came up for an inspection or to talk about the tourists in person. I switched off the television and put my sandwich in the fridge.
When I opened the door, Fiona stood in front of me, her fist raised to knock. She looked surprised. Her red hair was like fire and her green eyes the color of new leaves. She looked around as if she wasn’t sure how she had ended up in front of my door, or why. I looked her up and down. She wore tight jeans and a coat that made her appear curvy despite her being warmly dressed. Her hands were in her pockets, and she had a handbag over her shoulder. She looked executive. It was a good look on her, but then, I couldn’t imagine a look that wouldn’t be good for her. Everything worked, including naked.
“Hi,” she said, her voice thin.
“Fiona, what a surprise.” She was the last person I had expected to see at my door. What the hell was she doing here? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want it to sound like I didn’t want to see her. I had tried to forget her, but now that she was here, I wanted her to be in my space. “Do you want to come in?”
She nodded, and I stepped to the side, letting her into the cabin. She looked around like she was seeing it for the first time.
“Coffee?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Right,” I remembered. “You don’t drink coffee. Water?”
She smiled shyly and nodded. A poured her a glass from the bottle in the fridge.
“What’s up?” I asked. I sat down on the couch. Fiona didn’t sit down with me. She remained standing, and she looked uncomfortable and out of place. So different than she had been the last time she’d been here. She had been seductive and confident, then. Now, she seemed unsure of herself. But she was still beautiful.
My memories of her didn’t do her justice. When I looked at her, my heart skipped a beat and my body reacted in a way I couldn’t explain. I had never felt like this around a woman. I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind, and I had thought it was only a phase. But seeing her again I felt the same. What was it about this woman?
“Please, sit down,” I said. “You’re making me nervous.”
She twisted her hands together. I had to take that back. She was more nervous than I was. Something was wrong, I realized. She was here for a reason, and it wasn’t to get back in bed with me. Not that it was what I had thought when I’d opened the door for her and invited her in, but having her in front of me, looking at her gorgeous face and to-die-for body it was all I wanted to do. I stood because she wasn’t sitting down.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” I asked.
She only looked at me for a second before averting her eyes again. She wasn’t making a lot of eye contact with me. I watched her as she tried to figure out what she was going to say and took it all in. The way her red curls barely brushed her shoulders and the light freckles on her nose I hadn’t seen before. The way she carried herself, elegant and graceful even though she was so deep in thought I doubted she concentrated on her outward appearance. She was naturally beautiful, without even trying.
“I’m pregnant,” she said.
Her words sliced through me, driving away every other thought. I frowned at her, and she finally looked me in the eye.
“What?” I said.
She didn’t repeat herself because I had heard her the first time. I wished I’d misheard it, that she had said something else, but I knew it wasn’t the case.
I had never thought I would hear those words, but it wasn’t just that. The way she had said it, the way she was acting, was with fear. She had been scared to tell me, and that pissed me off.
Chapter 11
Fiona
I said it. I threw it out there without sugar-coating it because let’s be fair, there was no way to tell Laird I was pregnant any other way than just saying it.
“What?” he asked, and he looked angry. Shit, this was what I’d been afraid of. I kept quiet because I knew he’d heard what I said. He wouldn’t have seemed so pissed off if he hadn’t heard me correctly. After a while, he turned his back to me, and something inside me broke. This was what I had expected but it was harder to deal with it than to run through the scenario in my mind.
I suddenly felt drained, and I walked to the couch and sat down. I expected him to boot me out of the door any moment. When he didn’t say anything for a while, I carefully said, “you’re angry.”
He turned around, and his eyes were dark and fiery. When he looked at me, his face softened. I hadn’t excepted that.
“I’m only angry that you were scared to tell me.”
I shook my head, confused. What else should I have been? I sure as shit wasn’t excited about it.
Laird walked to the couch and sat down next to me. He didn’t seem upset at all, now. His expression was kind and gentle, and when she spoke, his voice was tender.
“Is it mine?”
I had expected him to ask that. We didn’t know each other at all. I was some women that he’d fucked three weeks ago. I hadn’t even asked his name.
I nodded. I expected him to argue the fact, expected him to ask for a paternity test or something that would prove it really was his child. Why wouldn’t he think I slept around as a rule after how I had acted when he’d brought me to his cabin before? But instead of asking, Laird wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him before using his strength and pulling me onto his lap. What the fuck?
He stood up with me in his arms and carried me to the bedroom. My stomach flipped, and I flashed on what we had done before. But I had told him I was pregnant. I didn’t understand.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“What I wanted to do the moment I found you standing in front of my door,” Laird said as he laid me down on the bed, crawling on top of me and kissing me. He kissed me so hard it took my breath away, and I lay there panting when he finally broke the kiss. My body ached for him. He had turned me on with one kiss, and I was wet for him, ready for him. Just like that.
But I hadn’t come here for sex.
“What about the baby? About what I told you?”
Laird shook his head. “We can figure that out after. First, I want you.”
He kissed me, and there was no more time for talking.
Laird undressed me. He pulled my clothes off slowly as if I was a present he was unwrapping, and when his eyes landed on my bare skin, the look on his face wasn’t only lust. It was mixed with adoration. I couldn’t remember Randy ever looking at me like that, and we had been together for three years.
Laird unclasped my bra and peeled it off, throwing it to the side. He sat on top of me, straddling my hips so I couldn’t move, but I didn’t want to. His thighs were thick and muscular, and he towered over me and with me underneath him, I felt small and delicate. I felt beautiful.
Laird focused on my breasts, massaging them with one had on each until my nipples were tight and erect. He looked at me for a moment before he paid attention to my breasts again.
He leaned forward, shifting down my body a little and kissed my shoulders, moving down toward my chest. He planted butterfly kisses all over my chest and breasts before he focused on my nipples. He sucked them into his mouth one by one, rolling his tongue around them, driving me crazy. Desire threatened to consume me.
As if Laird knew my desperation, he moved down my body, tugging at my jeans, undoing them and peeling them slowly over my hips. As he undressed me he kissed the skin he bared, taking his time to cover every inch of my body. It was amazing to be worshipped like this. Laird truly made me feel
like I was a delicacy. Like he had never had someone like me before.
I doubted he hadn’t been with women before, that he hadn’t had something of everything. But he made me feel like I was the only one, and that made all the difference.
When I was naked, Laird pulled off his own shirt, and I feasted my eyes on his body. He obviously took care of his body, and it was a pleasure to stare at him. His muscles rippled underneath his skin as he flexed and moved his arms, and I giggled because I knew he was doing it for me. He chuckled and climbed off me. I opened my legs, and he stared at my pussy. He clambered off the bed and yanked his pants and jocks down, the ceremony with which he’d worshipped my body lost now. When he was naked, he crawled between my legs
“It’s silly for me to think about a condom now,” he said. “Too little, too late.”
“You can’t get me pregnant twice. I hate condoms.”
He smiled. “Me too.”
He kissed me, and I lost myself in him. When he pressed his cock against my entrance, I sucked in my breath and held it in anticipation, blowing it out slowly as he slid into me. The feeling was amazing. I remembered sex with him being fucking good and still it was better than I remembered. His dick was huge, and I cried out as he split me open, but it was the good kind of pain, the kind that translated into pleasure.
Laird started moving inside me, and I gasped and moaned as his dick slid into me and pulled out again. I closed my eyes, and Laird took over, picking up the pace, pushing into me harder and faster. I cried out as he pumped into me and the first orgasm took over, pulling me apart. Laird leaned down so that his body covered me, and he pressed his lips against mine. I poured everything I felt into that kiss; the orgasm, the relief, the panic, the love, the lust.
After my orgasm subsided, Laird pulled out of me, and I rolled over, pushing up so my ass pointed to him. Laird put his hands on my hips, and he pushed into me. I cried out as he fucked me from behind, pumping harder and faster as his balls slapped against my pussy. I cried out and moaned, and Laird grunted as his thick flesh pounded into me.