by Lia Lee
“Thank you,” he breathed, and he leaned in to kiss her.
They had never shared a kiss like this before. There was hunger and heat, which she thought would be there until they died, but there was also something else there as well. It was a question and an answer, something so deep and primal that it seemed to be beyond words. It struck her to her very soul, and she thought it was something that might bind them for the rest of their lives.
“God, but I cannot believe how perfect you are,” Luciano breathed. “Every moment of every day, I find myself wanting you, needing you, and here you are so close...”
“I don't want you to stop yourself anymore,” Pearl murmured. “I want you to do what we both want.”
She could see that her words lit a bonfire in Luciano's eyes. One moment he was touching her with a nearly worshipful sweetness, and the next an animalistic passion poured through him. He knotted his hand in her hair and dragged her close for a kiss that gave as much as it took. Pearl clung to him, helpless to resist. Even if her mind had tried to put him aside, her body could remember the passion they shared, and it wanted more.
Pearl was vaguely shocked that the water didn't evaporate off of them with a puff of steam as Luciano rolled her down onto the flat rock above the water. It was hard underneath her back, but oh god, it mattered so much less than how he felt, how good he made her feel...
Luciano's hands roved over her body wildly, as if he were desperate to touch her while he could. At the same time, he planted kisses on every part of her, her shoulders, her breasts, the rise of her belly and her thighs. Before she knew what he was doing, he worked his way down to her calves and her feet, massaging them as he went. She started to ask what he was doing, but then she felt his strong fingers caressing sore muscles that she didn't even know she had.
“Oh god,” she whimpered as he dug the ball of his thumb into her arch. “That feels insanely good...”
“You are an active woman. It makes sense that your muscles might get tight. Simply lie back and let me touch you, little mermaid. I want to make sure you feel nothing but pleasure.”
Pearl's instinct was always to give as good as she got, but somehow, here with this man, she was able to lie back and let her eyes flutter closed. Perhaps it was trust, and perhaps it was simply being drunk with the pleasure that he could give her, but in her heart, she knew it was more than that. As he ran skilled fingers up and down her exposed body, as he tended to the sore spots that she didn't even know about herself, she knew it wasn't that, or at least, it wasn't just trust or pleasure.
It was love, and the feeling fizzed up inside her like bubbles from a glass of champagne.
Luciano shifted, coming to stretch out above her. Their hips were pressed close to one another, but he bore most of his weight on his elbows, sparing her belly any pressure. When he set his mouth to her nipples, she cried out at the sweet pressure of it. She wasn't expressing milk yet, but somewhere deep inside her, she could feel something ancient wake up within her body. Even if she was occasionally doubtful or worried, her body reassured her over and over again that it knew what to do. She was safe with this man, and the pleasure he gave her would only bring her joy.
She was stirring restlessly underneath his hands when he pulled slightly back, finding the humid patch between her legs with one hand.
“Luciano, what are...”
“Trust me, little mermaid. I swear you will not regret it.”
She might have asked again, but then his fingers were sliding up and down her slit. Soon enough, the moisture of her arousal rose up, allowing his fingers to move even more easily. She watched through half-closed eyes as he brought his wet fingers up to his lips.
“God, you taste good,” he murmured, and then his hand returned to the needing, aching flesh he had left. First one finger entered her, and then another. She felt slightly tender, almost swollen, but there was no pain at all, especially not after he found her clit. There was nothing rough or impatient about his touch. As he dropped kisses over her throat and shoulders, he worked her open with his hand, crooking his finger just slightly. After a moment, he was hitting a lovely, sensitive spot inside her that made her gasp, and then she was gasping over and over again. He had one leg thrown over hers, keeping her spread open so that she could not fend him off, but if he had stopped at that moment, she was certain she might have died.
“Don't stop, don't stop, please don't stop,” she panted. “I need you, please...”
Luciano chuckled raggedly at her words, and the part of her that was still able to think was confused. How was he holding himself back? Didn't he want to join with her? Didn't he want...
Before she could finish the thought, her body betrayed her. The fire that he had been kindling grew too hot, like a forest fire out of control, and her entire body locked up. Every muscle felt as if it were tensing towards something that was just barely out of reach. Her body felt as if it might have torn itself apart for the pleasure that was just tantalizingly within grasp...and then the world went up in flames. Pearl shouted out her pleasure, her fingernails digging crescent marks into her palms. The pleasure that took her was almost too great to bear.
“Oh, Luciano!”
Her cries echoed across the water, but she was too enthralled with the sensations running through her to be embarrassed. The only thing that mattered was how very good she felt, and how she was as light as ashes, as perfect as sunlight.
Pearl lay still for some timeless eon, and then she turned to Luciano. He lay next to her, stroking her hip with a gentle touch. The smile on his face was certainly smug, but there was still an edge of hunger to it that confused her.
“What's the matter?” she asked. “Why didn't you...?”
His hand came down to stroke her belly.
“I wasn't sure if you would welcome it,” he said softly. “I was going to, but then I worried that perhaps it would hurt you...”
Pearl made an impatient sound, shaking her head. “The doctor says I am healthy. There is nothing that would stop us, unless you find me unappealing...”
He stopped her with a deep kiss, one that spoke of a hunger that was nearly fathomless.
“That is quite the most foolish thing I think you have ever said,” Luciano said sternly. “But still, I may be worried about...”
Pearl decided that she’d had enough of worry. Instead, she rolled away from him just long enough to rise up on the rock slab, coming to her knees and elbows. The position allowed her to cover her belly protectively while still making her feel sexy, and she turned to Luciano with a slightly challenging smirk.
“Do you still worry?” she asked.
Luciano watched her with wide eyes, and she watched with pleasure as his tongue came out to lick suddenly dry lips. No, she would never need to worry about whether this man found her attractive or not. The truth was always written on his face.
She could see the moment Luciano's control broke. Suddenly he was behind her, his hands coming to settle on her hips for a moment before one reached down between her legs. For a moment, she was worried that she was going to be too sore to keep going, but the flame lit again, as hot as before or hotter. He could make her feel a kind of pleasure she had thought nearly mythical, but this was something else. This was two bodies joining, becoming one in a way that made her soul sing.
She felt him wrap his hand around his thick cock, and for a moment, he teased her with it. He ran the head along her slit, wetting himself and making sure she was still ready, still willing. When she nearly groaned at him to urge him on, he sunk deep inside her, not stopping until they were as close as two people could be.
“Oh god,” she cried out, and with a low and savage sound, Luciano drew almost all the way back out of her before plunging in again. The feeling of being full was nearly too much, but then he was driving into her over and over again, carrying her away on a feeling of intense need and fullness.
Her knees ached, her elbows were getting scraped, and Pearl didn't care at al
l. The only thing that mattered was the fire that was climbing higher inside her, a perfect mirror to the pleasure that was building inside Luciano. She was calling his name, and she could hear him calling hers as well. His fingers dug deep into her hips as he thrust into her.
Pearl's blood roared in her ears, and her body tightened again, impossibly passionate, powerfully pleasurable. This climax was less intense than the first, but there was something about it that resonated inside her. Just as she reached her peak, Luciano thrust into her one last time, heat spilling inside her and making her cry out with pleasure.
Pearl kept whispering his name as her pleasure died down to embers, and when he pulled away, she made a sharp, displeased sound. She thought he would lie down on the rock and they would rest, but instead he lifted her gently in his arms, carrying her over to the padded outdoor couches that ringed the rooftop pool. He lay her down on one, coming to kneel close by.
“You look worried,” Pearl said when she was finally able to do so. Her throat felt as if it had been scraped dry. “You know that was entirely fine, don't you?”
“I can't help it. It wasn't until the last second when I realized how unhinged I became. I don't know if I could have stopped...”
“You would have,” Pearl said with absolute certainty. “I know you would have.”
Luciano laughed ruefully, but he ran his fingertips over her hip. When she followed his motion with her eyes, she could see a dark spatter of bruises there where he had hung on to her. The thought of him needing her so much made the passion in her rise again.
“I'm flattered you think so,” he rumbled. “But your judgment right now might not be trustworthy. Perhaps after you give the endorphins time to die down, you will feel otherwise.”
Pearl shot him a skeptical look. “Don't think you get to doubt my judgment just because you gave me the best sex of my life. Women don't like to be told that what they're feeling is all hormones.”
Luciano sighed, holding up his hands in surrender. “All right. I concede the field. Now perhaps I can take you out to dinner, and we decide what to do next?”
She could see what he meant. They had made plans for children. There was nothing in their agreement about what might happen to the two of them, to the passion that they might share and how that might mess things up.
“All right,” she said with a sigh. “Let's see what we can make out of this then.”
The smile he gave her was warm enough to get through a New York winter, and as he dried her tenderly before handing her clothes, she wondered what might come next.
Chapter Twelve
It didn't take Pearl long to realize that her connection with Luciano was something more felt than easily put into words. After the night on the rooftop pool, it felt as if she had come home. Home wasn't the penthouse, or the brownstone in Boston or even the country house in upstate New York, though each place made her smile and her heart sing.
No, there was something far different. Even at dinner that night after the pool, she had struggled to capture it.
“I feel as if there's so very much to us,” she had said, gesturing over her bowl of hot noodles and soup. “Like we can't be contained, and even trying would do us no good.”
Luciano had watched her through the steam, and the smile he gave her was calm and pleased, perhaps even a little smug.
“I know what you mean. It feels like...I'm with you in a way I've never been with another woman. Or anyone else on this planet, for that matter.”
They smiled at each other, and Pearl knew they were both dancing around the word “love.” It was there, hovering on their tongues, in their hearts. It haunted the mornings when they lay in bed together, touching each other lazily, and it waited with them at Dr. Arora's clinic where every week they got a new notice of their four babies' progress.
Love was with them, and it was growing, but for the moment at least, they both held their own council. Pearl suspected it was because there was already so much going on. It didn't feel safe, not quite yet.
“None of this needs to change,” Luciano said softly. “After the babies are born, none of this needs to change at all. We can be ourselves. We can have this. We can raise children together. We could be...”
He broke off, as if he were afraid to say what came next, but Pearl found that she couldn't say it for him. She had crashed into his life with a pregnant body and four children that would be his. She had realized at some point that she wanted more with this man, whatever form that took, but at the moment, she couldn't speak it. Not yet.
“We are fine as we are.” She reached across the table to touch his cheek. “If more is necessary...well, we'll figure that out, won't we?”
Some part of Pearl knew they should be working harder on figuring that part out. She was now six months along, heavy and round. Some days all she wanted to do was be close to Luciano, and other days, she felt a deep need overtake her, and she couldn't get enough of touching him and being touched. Despite all the changes that were happening in her body, however, Pearl was struck with a sense of timelessness and sweetness. Things would hold for as long as they needed to.
Then she was walking in the hallway of the penthouse, listening with half an ear to a conversation that Luciano was having in his office, and all of that changed.
“Yes, the property near Palermo, that was the one I had in mind. It does have a pool, doesn't it?”
Pearl frowned, stopping to listen. There was something strange about Luciano's voice through the door, furtive and almost impatient. It was a far cry from the soft tones he used with her, and the jarring difference made her wary.
“Good. Good. I want her to have everything she needs there, and a pool is a good start. I think it will please her.”
Was he thinking about taking her to Italy? It was possible, but there was such a note of strain in his voice that she shivered. This didn't even sound like the man she had made love to that morning.
“I don't really care about the cost. I want it to be a place she can live with the children long term. I want it fully equipped. She doesn't need to go to the city very often, though accessibility would be good... No, I do not need to be in residence... This is for Pearl on her own. Hopefully, it will be enough to satisfy her.”
Luciano kept talking, but Pearl could feel herself turn hot and cold by turns. She wasn't sure how she managed to stagger back to her own room and shut the door after her, but she did. She cupped her hands protectively over her belly, larger now, and she willed herself to be sensible.
Despite the calming breaths she took, however, Luciano's words struck her ears like hammers. He wanted a nice, out-of-the-way spot for her. He wanted a place where she would be “satisfied” without him. He had even told her that it was something of a tradition in his family.
She wrapped her arms around her body, shivering even if it wasn't the least bit cold.
He's going to put me aside like all those mistresses in his family line, she thought, her mind bleak and desolate. This is what the future is going to be.
And she would have to take it, Pearl thought. She wanted the best for her children. She wanted them to have the schools they’d talked about, the trips he had mentioned. She wanted the world for them, and she certainly wasn't going to get it for them on a waitress's salary. It was as neat a trap as had ever been sprung, and she could feel the walls closing in on her.
A light tap at the door broke her concentration.
“Is everything all right?” Luciano asked her from the other side of the closed door. “I finished up with my business, and I was wondering if you might want to have some lunch.”
“No...no, I think I need a nap,” Pearl said, her voice querulous. “I'm not feeling so good.”
“Are you all right?” Luciano asked, his voice sharp with worry. “Do I need to find Dr. Arora?”
“Not at all, I'm fine, I'll be fine. I just need some rest.”
“All right,” Luciano said, even if he didn't sound all that sure. “Ge
t some rest. I'll check on you in a little while...”
For a long time, Pearl simply lay in her dim room. She hadn't been lying. She felt drained, as if everything had been scooped out from inside her. She was so empty that a light breeze might suddenly catch her up and blow her far away. She was too numb to cry, too shocked to plan.
She could hear Luciano moving around in the living room, and it felt as if he were a world away. Just a few hours ago, they had been able to touch and kiss and be as close to each other as possible, and now that was all gone, as if it had never been.
She must have fallen asleep at some point because she could suddenly feel his eyes on her. In the vanity mirror, she saw him in the doorway behind her, watching her. His expression was unreadable, but he stood there watching her for a long time. He stood there so long that Pearl nearly leaped up to accuse him of sending her away.
I don't want to go live in some house without you! Can't you see that I was made to stay with you? That we should be together?
Before she could do so, however, he turned with a soft sigh and closed the door behind him. Pearl felt at once grieved that she hadn't leapt up and relieved for the same reason. God. It took this betrayal for her to see how very much she loved him.
The word on its own made her choke. What a joke it was! She loved him, and he was going to park her in some isolated place in Italy, there to stay while he returned to his life. Perhaps if she was lucky, he would come by sometime, might even take their children for vacations or something like that.
Pearl's head pounded, but she kept herself still until she could be sure she would not run straight out to Luciano. In her mood, she would absolutely break down into tears, and she couldn't stand the idea of humiliating herself like that in front of him.
There's only one thing to do, she thought to herself. There is only one thing I can do and still look myself in the eye.
She waited until she heard Luciano climb into his own bed, waited another half-hour past that. They didn't often sleep apart anymore, but sometimes she needed the entire bed to herself. It wasn't unusual, and she blessed the timing tonight. Pearl grabbed her bag from the closet and stuffed it full of clothes. She had some cash as well as her old credit cards, and they might not get her far, but they would get her far enough, she supposed.