by Lia Lee
Her son had come into the world looking exactly like his father. It was almost as if her genes had decided to take an extended vacation during the conception. Trent looked nothing like her, and even his complexion barely hinted that his mother was African American. As a result, she walked around with a blond, blue-eyed, miniature version of Gerard every day. Not only that, he’d already shown an uncanny ability to make sarcastic jokes like his father did.
A year ago, Hartford was struggling to find a childcare solution for Trent. No daycare facility seemed trustworthy enough, and her own parents traveled too often to be counted on for regular care for Trent. Just when she was about to crumble under the pressure of her plight, she’d visited Pennsylvania, where both she and Gerard had grown up. That’s when she ran into Christine and Mark.
They hadn’t seen her in years, and both of them stopped short when they saw the two-year-old kid she was carrying, who looked exactly like their own son.
It had been an emotional day. Both Christine and Mark had cried, argued over who got to hold Trent next, and dragged Hartford to their home. Then, they’d begged her to let them be a part of the child’s life.
Hartford, surprisingly, had been rushed with relief. Trent would get to know his grandparents, and she could go on with her studies stress-free because Christine and Mark would lay their life on the floor to care for Trent. The only problem was, they were in Pennsylvania, while she was in Maryland. She needn’t have spent the energy worrying about it. Because Trent’s paternal grandparents hadn’t been kidding when they agreed to take over the care of Trent. The both of them had come up with a solution instantly: they’d move to Maryland and care for Trent on a regular basis, and if they traveled, they’d be happy to take him along.
Hartford was still dumbstruck by the love they had for Trent. They’d uprooted their life just so they could spend time with him, whereas her own parents didn’t bother at all. But that was also because they had wanted—like Gerard—for her to terminate the pregnancy and not have the child she so desperately wanted to keep.
“Hey, what are you thinking about?”
She turned around to see Nathan right behind her. She smiled and shook her head. “Sometimes I feel like I’m being stretched at two ends and I need to pick one side before I break into two.”
“As in?”
Hartford smiled at the tall, handsome African American man with dark brown eyes that were always warm and smiling. He was a great friend, and he was one of the few people who could make her laugh.
“As in, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, but I never thought I’d have a child to care for while I worked for my goals. And now I’m missing all the milestones in his life, and I’m unsure about what is more important. Clearly, it should be Trent.” Her voice dropped to a whisper.
He swallowed. “What did you miss this time?”
Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. “Just…” She choked up and smiled, but her voice came out all shaky and pathetic. “Some stupid Hula-Hoop thing he did. Last week it was a baseball match, and the week before last it was something else. I feel like the only way I can manage to be there with him is if I could create time out of somewhere to spend with him. There is never enough time. And I need to find a fix before I miss out on his whole childhood and he doesn’t even remember me anymore.”
Nathan shook his head and reached out to wrap his arm around her slim shoulders. “That’s not going to happen. He loves you, and he misses you.”
She choked back a sob and pushed her face into the wide, muscled chest that was always around.
“It’s going to be fine. What matters in the end is that he’ll be proud of you when he grows up. You spend every free moment with him. It’s not like he can forget you. The boy dotes on you. You’re his hero.”
“I do.” She mumbled, the warmth of him seeping through her. When was the last time she’d been hugged? A year ago? Two years? Maybe it had been Gerard. She reared back slowly and looked at the ground sheepishly. “Thanks, Nathan.” She did feel a lot better.
“Anytime.” He grinned.
***
Three days later, the unthinkable happened. She was offered the chance to work privately with a patient, a football player. She was to live in his home to help him recover from a knee injury. She shot out of her chair and half ran to her superior’s office.
“I’m in for this.”
“Wow,” she said with a chuckle. “Aren’t you eager.”
“I’m not going to lie. I’m very eager, but I need you to get the patient’s consent on me bringing my child with me.”
Her face fell. “I don’t think… I’m sorry, Dr. Roberts. I don’t think that will be an option.”
“Please, just ask.” She was desperate.
“Well…” Dr. Baskers rubbed her forehead. “This is a little tricky. The team’s management has asked for the best. But I’m not sure a bachelor would appreciate having a toddler around his house twenty-four seven while he’s trying to recover from an injury that is a potential threat to his career.”
“Just ask, Dr. Baskers. If he agrees, I can go. Otherwise, spending an entire summer in another state without my son wouldn’t be an option for me, and I’d hate to miss out on the opportunity.”
“Okay,” she said after a pause. “But you should know it’s highly unlikely that he will say yes.”
Her heart pounding, Hartford left the office. This was perfect. She already felt so damn guilty for not being able to spend time with Trent. Having an entire summer in the house with Trent while she worked was exactly the thing she needed. She’d finally get the chance to bond with her son. She was missing out on so many bedtimes and bathtimes and playtimes. She muttered a silent prayer that the player wouldn’t object.
One single high-profile client, living in his home… She could feel the excitement running through her veins. She would play with Trent. She’d get to put him to bed and read him stories and have him in sight all day.
The very next day, she was called in to sign the paperwork. She scanned the document, ready to accept any terms.
Number of days: specified.
Duties: specified.
Living arrrangements…
She froze. Seattle. She would be in Seattle. She and Trent wood be in Seattle! Her insides screamed. Was she willing to do that? Was she strong enough to cope with the fact that Gerard would be so close by? And then another detail screamed at her from the document. Her heart sank to the floor.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?” Dr. Baskers asked, her brows furrowing. “Something wrong? I’ve reviewed this contract myself and everything looks fine. And he agreed to let you bring your son along.”
Hartford looked up at the doctor’s face, her heart pounding erratically. “Gerard Blackstone?”
“Yes?”
Hartford’s hands were shaking, the pen visibly jolting in her fingers as her hand hovered over the space that required her signature. Then she stared at the name that seemed to jump off the page to torment her. Gerard Blackstone. He knew she was coming, and he’d agreed to let her bring Trent along.
Clenching her eyes shut, she knew what she had to do. She had to be a grown-up and suck it up, because this was for Trent. She signed her name.
She was going to Seattle, to live with Gerard, and even though Trent didn’t know it, he was going to meet the man who was his father.
Chapter Four
Gerard broke the kiss and flinched as Clarice slid onto his lap. “My knee.”
“Oops, sorry,” she crooned in a singsong voice and then bit her lip. “I keep forgetting.”
“Yeah.” Her hand swept over his bare shoulders, and he tried not to cringe as he shoved them away and gently but firmly pushed her hips off his lap. He sat back and held his thigh while he straightened his leg. “You need to be careful. This is my life on the line. It’s not a serious injury, but it could become one.”
“I know. I’m sorry, sweetie. When’s
your physical therapist arriving?”
Geared scratched the side of his jaw. The four days’ worth of beard growth was a novel feeling, and it was making him uncomfortable. He licked his lips, lowering his gaze as anxiety spiraled through him.
“Soon.”
He left out the details. He didn’t want to discuss it with Clarice. She was nice. She was a promising athlete. But she was so dumb he didn’t have the patience to repeat everything he said three times. Besides, he was pretty sure she would throw a tantrum when she found out the physical therapist was a she not a he.
Clarice jumped off the couch and jutted her hips out as she leaned over to inspect his vast collection of games. “What is that?”
“It’s a controller.”
She looked at him as if he had cured cancer. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
He simply rolled his eyes as the twenty-year-old girl he’d met at a party three days ago strutted along with an abnormally arched back to jut her breasts out. She always walked like that. It was disconcerting to watch and looked painfully uncomfortable. She shuffled through CDs and headphones and games, in the room that was a shrine to every latest piece of technology. He breathed a sigh of relief when she headed to the open bar at the end of the room. Now, drinking was safe. At least she wouldn’t ask him questions every second at the bar.
“Who’s this?”
Gerard clenched his eyes shut. He’d just jinxed his luck. Bored, and trying to figure out a way to get rid of her, he looked up and froze. Then he hopped off the couch as if his knee wasn’t injured and his bread and butter didn’t depend on it at all. He snatched the photograph out of Clarice’s hand.
“The housekeeper probably left it out here,” he lied swiftly.
“Is it your childhood picture?” She grinned, crooning in that raspy childlike voice of hers. “You’re so cute, although your complexion was a little darker when you were little. Don’t you think?”
He yanked open a kitchen drawer and dropped the picture inside. Pausing, he tried not to ogle the picture, but he did. His eyes darted over the boy’s face that was exactly like his. His hair had the same natural blond highlights as his did. His eyes were the same blue, his eyebrows the exact replica of his, only finer. He slammed the drawer shut. He still wasn’t sure if he was making a mistake in letting the boy come and live with him.
Up until six months ago, he hadn’t even known Trent existed. Even though he’d known she was pregnant by him when he left for Seattle, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the kid Hartford gave birth to was his. He didn’t look anything like his mother, and everything like him.
When his parents had announced they were moving to Maryland for a few years, just for a change of scenery, he hadn’t missed a beat. They were free spirits, and it was typical of them to do irrational things, taking sudden trips to places all around the world to keep their lives interesting. But when they’d visited Gerard one day in Seattle and refused to stay for longer even when he persistently asked, they’d finally let the beans spill. Without Gerard’s knowledge, his parents had been taking care of his son for the last six months, and they couldn’t stay away from Maryland for longer than a day, because Hartford counted on them for childcare.
He hadn’t uttered a word when they handed him the picture and left in a hurry to get back to their grandson.
Gerard spent several days in a daze, the boy’s picture in his hand most of the time. After he’d recovered from the shock somewhat, he’d called his parents to ask if he could meet Trent.
“You can’t,” they’d argued. “We hadn’t even asked Hartford before telling you. She didn’t want you to know about the child, and we told you anyway. She was fine with it, but we can’t ask her to let you in now. We just can’t.”
Feeling desperate to meet the kid once, yet unsure what it would accomplish, he’d called his lawyer and arranged to have a child support check delivered to Hartford on the first of every month. He hadn’t mentioned anything to his parents but wasn’t surprised when they brought it up themselves. Quite clearly, Hartford had won over their hearts, and their loyalties seemed to lie with her more than they did with their own son.
“It is the right thing to do,” Gerard’s mother had said over the phone. “Hartford mentioned it in passing. And it was sweet of her not to reject it. She doesn’t need the money, but she’s letting you atone.”
Atone? He’d been outraged but hadn’t said a word. Atone for what? I was the one who was betrayed. She was the one who left me behind and moved on with her life. He said none of those things, though, and put everything in the past. The check was delivered to her automatically, and he never had to hear of it again.
Gerard remembered the last time he’d seen the stunning, ebony-skinned girl. It had been at the airport, a smile on her face and a storm in her eyes. He’d assumed it was because he was leaving, but she’d had a more vicious plan at the time. She’d let him believe she’d aborted the baby, and when he called her right after he landed in Seattle, she refused to take his call. He’d spent a good three weeks calling her incessantly, before she changed her number. When he called their mutual friends, desperate to talk to her and missing her so much it ached, they’d told her they couldn’t do anything. Hartford had moved on, and she’d left for Maryland.
She’d not only dumped him by ghosting him, she’d gone on to have the child, then enlisted his parents’ support to take care of the child. Now, fate had brought him the chance to see her again.
When her name came up during the meeting with Seahawks management, he assumed Hartford didn’t know that it was him she’d be staying with. After all, he’d wanted confidentiality. When she stipulated she wanted to bring the kid along, management refused but Gerard said yes without thinking.
Why he did was still a mystery to him. He didn’t feel anything. No affection, no guilt. Nothing. Hartford had been the one who’d cut him out of her life. He simply felt numb. But he’d also assumed she would see his name and opt out. She hadn’t.
Why she did was also a mystery to him.
“Right now…” He turned to see Clarice chugging juice straight from his bottle out of the refrigerator in the bar. He cringed. He hated that. He simply hated that. That was the last nail in the coffin. He turned around and walked back to the couch with a slight limp, intending to keep his weight off his bad knee. “Clarice?
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think we can continue seeing each other.” He spent the next ten minutes trying to make an excuse and explain why he thought that particular way. The pressure of Hartford’s impending arrival was making him lose his mind. All over a bottle of juice, he wanted her out of his house. He couldn’t deal with her, and he didn’t want her around when Hartford arrived.
***
Hartford stepped out of the back of the SUV and then turned to help her son get out. The driver walked straight to the front door and swung it open.
Hartford’s hands shook; she wanted to do anything but go in there. But she forced herself to step forward, just one more step, one more… Anytime now, she’d come face-to-face with Gerard.
She sucked in a deep breath as she saw him. Her stomach overcome with butterflies on Ecstasy, she fisted her hands as a cascade of emotions spilled over her.
A few days’ worth of beard growth on his face, he looked scary and striking. She wasn’t surprised by the physical changes in him. He looked angry, almost confused. The angled planes of his jaw were ridiculously virile. He graced the covers of magazines and was constantly in the news, so she’d assumed she was prepared for his matured good looks. She had been fooling herself.
Gerard walked toward them, his left arm clutching a crutch. He stopped three feet away from them, and Hartford jumped as the driver closed the front door behind them. She just stood there, stiff, wordless, while Gerard swallowed visibly and his eyes dropped to Trent—only briefly. Her heart clenched painfully tight. It was almost as if he was looking at something that had nothin
g to do with him. Jealousy and rage exploded in her chest, but she quickly fought it. This was not the time to do this. She regretted coming there already, but it was for Trent. No one else.
She noticed his stubble. It was thicker than she remembered. His shoulders were wider—she’d hadn’t even thought that was possible. For some incomprehensible reason, he looked taller, but she was sure that was just her imagination. He was also barefoot, and she recalled seeing every inch of his body years ago. She’d taken everything for granted, all of him, and then he’d had more important things to do with his life than be there for her. His hair was slightly longer too. He was way sexier than she remembered. She shoved the thought away.
“Hi, Gerard.”
He swallowed visibly. “Hey, Hart.” He looked away instantly and sighed. “Hartford,” he corrected. They were barely on a first-name basis now, let alone nickname basis. “How’re you doing?”
“I’m all right, thanks.” Silence. Awkward. So fucking awkward. The man had taken her virginity; the man had woken up drooling on her pillow once. Why was it so awkward?
“Please, come on in,” he said politely Dispassionately. He avoided looking at her.
Hartford wondered why he looked a little dazed, and why he kept looking at the ground as if he wanted to deny they were there. She almost felt like he hadn’t known it would be them showing up at the door, but of course he had. He’d signed the contract too. He’d sent his driver to pick them up when she’d been perfectly ready to just take a cab to his place. And he had made more effort than he should have.
Gerard stepped forward and finally let his eyes halt on Trent’s face. He was looking up at him, confused, a little red car in his fist. Hartford’s breath caught as Gerard slowly leaned down onto his good knee. His hands clutched the tiny pair of shoulders.
“Hey, there, little guy.”
Hartford’s heart hammered, and a knot formed in her chest, full of emotion, panic, and fear—and something else. She didn’t know. Lately, she had no idea why she felt nothing rational and understandable.