“Well, I wasn’t going to tell her,” Ainsley said, and then released a long sigh. “Of course, I didn’t mean to tip my hand with you, either. I’m not very good at this, Ivan. First Scott and now this. I may as well resign before Ilsa fires me.”
“That doesn’t sound like a Lizzie kind of attitude. Besides, Matt told me that Mrs. Fairchild had ample opportunities to take on an apprentice before you came along, but you’re the first she’s accepted. He said he’s really proud of the way you went after the position.”
“He did?” The sparkle reappeared in her eyes.
“He did,” Ivan confirmed truthfully, wishing Matt had told her himself, wishing all of her siblings could give her credit for the many talents she possessed. “And what’s more, Miranda and I aren’t clients. We’re more of a…test case. No one’s even going to know it didn’t work out, unless you tell them.”
Her eyebrows rose in a confident arch, and he fell in love with her resilient spirit all over again. “It could work out if you’d only look at the possibilities, Ivan. Don’t be so closed to the idea that something might happen if you gave it a chance.”
Having just spent the length of “The Way You Look Tonight” dancing with Miranda, he knew nothing was going to happen. If there’d ever been that possibility with Miranda, it had faded a long time ago. She wasn’t interested in him except as a friend, and the crush he’d once had on her had fizzled out long ago. There was nothing there to open himself to, no latent attraction to build on, no spark to fan into flame.
But there was a spark with Ainsley.
The truth was suddenly, unexpectedly there, shifting, tumbling, turning itself inside out and becoming a certainty in his heart even before his head completed the leap. It was Ainsley who held the possibilities for him. Ainsley, who had always fascinated and continually surprised him. Ainsley, who had grown up while he’d been away and become the woman he wanted to share his life with.
He was in love with Ainsley.
The idea was new and yet, somehow, it must have been in his heart forever. It scared him, excited him, made him feel hopeful and confused and uncertain of what to do about it. This could be trouble. She still regarded him as her extra brother and he wasn’t sure how to begin to change her perception. Or even if he should. Her parents might think he wasn’t a suitable match for her, either. Matt might object. He hadn’t seemed to mind when they’d talked about Miranda. But this was Ainsley. The baby of the family. The one they were so protective of. Everyone knew, he couldn’t offer her anything like the lifestyle she already had. In choosing to work for the Foundation, he’d forfeited much of the income he might have made in private practice. But Ainsley wouldn’t care about that, even if her family might. No, of course they wouldn’t, either. They were generous people to whom class mattered less than character…and they’d given him a position within the Foundation, showed their confidence in him by making him a part of their mission. They wouldn’t object. Well, he didn’t think they would.
But he was jumping too far ahead, planning for a life with Ainsley when he didn’t even know how to set about convincing her he was not her brother, extra or otherwise.
“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” she asked, a pleased smile curving her lips. Lips that he wished to kiss with such instant hunger it made his mouth uncomfortably dry. “You’re considering the possibilities.”
“Yes,” he said in a voice that sounded hoarse and needy. He needed time to think, to plan, so he did the only thing that occurred to him…he cleared his throat. “We’d better go back,” he said, turning toward the house and enough light to either dispel his revelation…or confirm it. “I think it’s going to rain.”
She hung back. “This from the guy who was ready to go for a swim not two minutes ago?”
“It doesn’t seem like a prudent thing to do all of a sudden.”
Her giggle teased him. “If Lizzie heard that, she’d withdraw her proposition immediately. Come on, Ivan, stay with me. I’m not ready to go back in just yet.”
He couldn’t very well protest that they had to return to the ballroom. “Why?” he asked. “Are you hoping to get wet?”
“That would be one way of avoiding Bucky,” she said, as if considering her options. “But since he brought me to this dance, I suppose I’ll have to let him take me home.”
Over my dead body. “I’ll take you home.”
“Are you trying to rescue me again?”
Her smile was as familiar to him as a sunset in the hill country of Texas, but it seemed suddenly, dangerously, sexy. “No, ma’am,” he said. “I know you’re perfectly capable of rescuing yourself if you want to.”
“You’re right,” she said with a laugh, and he wondered how she could be so unaware of his change of heart when it was all he could do to keep from pulling her into his arms right now and demonstrating how he felt with a kiss. Which would be the best way to ruin their friendship and any chance she’d ever look at him differently. “I’m not going to marry Bucky,” she said out of the blue. “I decided tonight when he said he wouldn’t kiss me.”
“The man is clearly an idiot,” Ivan said before he could stop himself.
She laughed again, which assured him her heart wasn’t broken. “Tell me something, Ivan. Do you think I’m kissable?”
His heart jumped at the question, but he forced himself to consider who she thought she was asking. “Well, now, that’s a hard question for me to answer.”
“You’re not my brother,” she said sternly. “So don’t think you can get out of answering with that excuse. You’re a man. And I want a man’s opinion. If you wanted to kiss me, would the color of my lipstick stop you?”
He paused, half-expecting a punchline. But she simply looked up at him, her attitude firmly in place, so he handed her an honest answer. “If I wanted to kiss you, Ainsley, nothing would stop me.”
She blinked, as if she’d heard the conviction in his voice, as if she could feel the heat burning a hole in his self-control. “Oh,” she said. “Oh.”
“Ainsley?” It was Bucky’s voice, coming from the terrace, unwittingly rescuing Ivan from what would have proved a terrible mistake.
“Ssshhh….” Ainsley stepped closer, her body nudging him to secrecy. “It’s Bucky. Hide me.”
They were standing in the shadows of the night, but otherwise in plain view on the lawn. “He’s bound to see us,” Ivan whispered. “Your dress doesn’t exactly blend in.”
She frowned up at him. “Think of something, then,” she said. “I’m in a great mood now and I don’t want him to spoil it yet.”
Ivan felt a swirl of pleasure, whether at the idea that he was the cause of her great mood or because of her nearness. Either one seemed enough cause to be happy. “Does this mean you want me to rescue you?” he asked in a teasing undertone.
Going up on her tiptoes, she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him.
Surprise kept him immobile for a second. But only one. The timing was too close to his discovery to allow for resistance, his need to be near her too new to be reined in. So he folded her into his arms and welcomed the feel of her soft lips pressing insistently on his…and tried to keep his heart from betraying him with its arrhythmic beating beneath her palm.
“Ainsle
y?” Bucky called again, louder this time, closer.
But Ivan wasn’t ready for this first sweet taste of love to end and he caught her close, shifting so that she was shielded from sight by his body. He felt surprise ripple through her, sensed a startled awareness in her response. He knew he should be careful, but the feel of her in his arms, beneath his kiss, was powerful and new and he was having trouble keeping even this tight a rein on his actions. Kissing her like this, carefully, holding his emotions in check, telling himself to pull away before he lost what semblance of control he still had, was agony. But it would be so much worse to get totally lost in the moment and lose any hope of the future.
Before he could bring the decision into action, she jerked back, suddenly, startling him with the ferocity of her alarm. Pressing a hand to her mouth, she looked at him with eyes widened by confusion and an expression he couldn’t, didn’t want to, name. “Oh,” she gasped. “Oh, no. I’m…I’m sorry, Ivan. I’m so sorry!” And then she was running across the lawn, away from him.
Ivan followed her progress through the garden, tracing her movements by the shimmer of reflected light off her beaded gown. He had no trouble at all seeing her run, beneath the lights of the garden, up to the edge of the terrace and straight into Bucky’s arms. He watched, like a deer caught in the headlights, as she lifted her face and Bucky bent toward her, obviously no longer averse to kissing her so kissable lips.
Closing his eyes, Ivan turned his back to the disturbing scene, tuned out the music and tried to hear only the surf pounding against the cliffs. Even when the rain started to fall in warm, fat drops, he stood there, wondering how to return to the moment when he’d realized he was in love with Ainsley and before he’d ruined everything by taking advantage of her impulsive kiss. He knew how impulsive she could be, understood she’d meant the kiss as a sham, as a way of hiding from someone she didn’t want to see her. He’d known that the moment it happened, and yet he’d turned the kiss into a declaration, drawn a line in the sand that couldn’t be crossed.
The rain continued, soaking into his clothes, stinging him with the sure knowledge that in one unguarded moment he’d wiped away more possibilities than he’d ever imagined possible.
CHAPTER NINE
Ainsley tucked the files she was carrying into the crook of her arm and was preparing to knock on Ilsa’s office door when it opened. She found herself chin to chest with Ivan.
“Hello, Ainsley,” he said, his voice and expression revealing less surprise than resignation at seeing her there.
“Oh,” she gasped, giving away in one word exactly how very startled she was to see him. “Hello.” Her gaze darted past him to Ilsa, who was standing just back from the doorway as if she’d been seeing him out. Being a lady to her marrow, Ilsa always saw her guests to the door. It was a small gesture, but one she assured Ainsley was worth the effort in helping clients feel comfortable with their decision to solicit a matchmaker’s services.
Bringing her gaze back to Ivan, Ainsley wondered what he was doing here. To say he was the last person she’d expected to run into coming out of Ilsa’s office was an understatement. She hadn’t seen him in over two weeks, had studiously avoided any chance encounter. And, as it hadn’t been particularly difficult, she’d reluctantly concluded he was avoiding her, too. But suddenly, here they were, face-to-face, and there was nothing to do but pretend they hadn’t both been hoping to avoid an awkward moment like this, indefinitely.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said.
“I was just about to stop by your office,” he said at the same time, their words colliding, their self-consciousness equal and obvious.
“You w-were?” She stammered a little, certain somehow that he’d hoped not to see her at all.
“I wouldn’t miss a chance to see that view.” There was a smile in his voice but not in his eyes, and she felt another hard knot of sorrow form in her throat. She’d missed him something awful, but worse than that, she kept reliving the moment on the lawn at Rosecliff when she’d seen the dismay, the horror, in his eyes. She’d ruined their friendship with one silly, impulsive act, without an ounce of forethought to the consequences, and if she’d had any doubt before, she could see now that there was no way to fix it. No matter how great her regret.
“It’s still a great view,” she said, hardly aware of what she was saying. “I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had much time to appreciate it these past two weeks.” She wanted to bite her tongue at being so specific, at pinning her sudden busyness to the two weeks since the Denim & Diamonds gala. “I guess you’ve been pretty busy yourself. The center opens Sunday, huh?”
“Come rain or shine.” He nodded and there they stood, in the doorway of Ilsa’s office, caught in a clumsy, uncomfortable, awkward situation. “I suppose I’ll see you there.”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Although she was wishing now that she might.
Ivan glanced over his shoulder at Ilsa, and when he looked back at Ainsley her curiosity peaked. What was he doing here?
“I guess I should be going,” he said as if he wasn’t already halfway out the door. “Thanks again, Mrs. Braddock,” he said. “I’ll look forward to working with you on that…project.”
Project? Ainsley couldn’t help it. She had to know why he was here. “Project?” she asked. “You two are working on a project?”
Ilsa’s eyebrows went up, but Ivan merely smiled. As he would at a child’s inappropriate question. “She’s agreed to co-chair a benefit for the center,” he said. “Next spring.”
“Oh.” She looked past him to where Ilsa stood, smiling. Of course, Ilsa really hadn’t stopped smiling since she’d returned from her honeymoon. “That’s nice of you.”
“I’m happy to have been asked to help,” Ilsa said. “It’ll be fun.”
“Fun.” Ainsley nodded. “That’s good, then. Fun is good.” And she was an idiot, which she’d proven beyond a doubt when she’d kissed Ivan. Really kissed him. Not some soft, affectionate bussing that could be construed as an expression of friendship. Not a mere brushing of lips against lips that might be explained away as fondness. Oh, no. It had been a genuine rock-my-world kiss. Even now, the memory burned her and she fought down a blush with sheer force of will.
“Maybe I’ll take a rain check on that view,” Ivan suggested, as if her remembering the kiss had made him remember it, too, and caused him to think twice about the wisdom of being alone with her. In her office or anywhere else. “I should get back out to the center. Staff meetings this afternoon.”
Ainsley’s head bobbed agreement. “Can’t be late for staff meetings,” she said, as if she’d know.
“Goodbye, Mrs. Braddock. I’ll get you that information as soon as possible.” His smile was warm with gratitude and genuine appreciation, but faded as it flickered back to Ainsley. “Goodbye, Ainsley.”
He stepped out, brushing casually against her as he passed, showing not a single sign that he wanted to hear anything she had to say. Not even goodbye.
She watched him go, wanting to run after him, apologize, say anything to put things back the way they’d been before. But everything had changed in the moment she’d kissed him. Between one heartbeat and the next, she’d discovered what she wanted…and made certain she could never have it. Ivan thought of her as a friend, as his little sister, and he was embarrassed by the passion that kiss had aroused in her and that she’d displayed with such abandon. Knowing him as she did, she suspected he was almost as embarrassed by his having let it happen as he was by her action in initiating it. But then, what choice had she given him? It wasn’t like she’d explained that she needed him to kiss her as a ruse to get rid of the unwanted Bucky. Oh
, no, she’d just puckered up and kissed him. She’d done it impulsively, thinking only that Bucky wouldn’t intrude on a private moment, not really thinking at all, and now she couldn’t go back and undo what she’d done. She’d ruined everything in a split second and her relationship with Ivan would never be the same, no matter how many times she said she was sorry.
“Ainsley?” Ilsa said. “Are you all right?”
Forcing a false brightness onto her face, into her voice, she turned toward the older woman. “Of course,” she said. “What could possibly be wrong with me?”
* * *
“…and we’re proud today to dedicate The Jonathan Danville Children’s Research Center to the children of the world.” Charles Danville moved away from the microphone to help Linney manipulate the oversize scissors and cut the wide yellow ribbon, officially opening the new facility.
Ainsley applauded along with the crowd. It felt good to be a Danville today. The center was a long-held dream of her mother’s, a concept the Foundation’s trustees had been working on for most of the last decade. And now it was a reality. It would offer medical treatment to children with neuromuscular diseases and defects, regardless of their ability to pay. And it would provide hope for the future through research that would be shared freely with other scientists and doctors around the globe. It was a proud day for the Foundation. A proud day for Charles and Linney Danville.
Having her parents home for the opening was a special treat, and Ainsley was glad they’d be spending the rest of the week at Danfair. They wouldn’t stay long. They never did. But anytime they were home was a joyous, almost giddy occasion. It had been that way for as long as she could remember. Life at Danfair with her brothers and sister and a rotating staff of caregivers was happy enough, but when Charles and Linney came home, it was Christmas and birthdays and every other exhilarating occasion all rolled into one. And it lasted until they left again. Which they always did…sooner rather than later.
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