by Suzi Davis
“I want to join with The Order, to lead you into a glorious new era,” I pronounced with a small and tempting smile. “I will teach you the true nature of your magic and share with you the truths that I know. I will give you the lives and the potential that you have long been promised and that you deserve. I will give to you powers that rival my own and I will share with you my knowledge,” I promised, my voice soft and hypnotic, enticing. I could see the glow of anticipation in some of the Others’ eyes and I knew that they wanted to believe me. It was all I needed.
“And why would you do that? What’s in it for you?” Jonathon demanded.
“No matter what you may or may not have to offer us, Seamus’ life will not be spared,” Angelina joined in. Her beautifully arched brows were pulling down as she watched me.
“I know.”
Sebastian began tossing and turning restlessly again, his eyes had reopened though they were still unfocused, his expression wild.
“Stop, Caoilinn. Please,” he begged. I thought I saw tears sparkling in the corners of his eyes. “Please don’t do this.”
I steeled my heart against his words, against the sound of pain and betrayal that cracked his voice. I slowly began moving towards him and was pleased when none of the Others stopped me. They all just watched, their faces blank except for their hesitant suspicion. I came to a stop just two feet away from Sebastian’s side. It was with great effort that I didn’t let out a sigh of relief as I had reached my goal. I couldn’t give myself away now though.
“You are weak,” I told Sebastian softly and sadly, my voice heavy with regret. My words weren’t truly for him, I only needed the Others to hear them. I truly regretted that he was conscious at that moment for I knew the pain that I was about to cause him would be unforgivable. And yet still, I pressed on. “You are not the same man that I fell in love with two thousand years ago. You are not the same person who I bonded myself to, who I gave powers and promises to that have connected us through the hundreds of years we spent apart.”
“No,” he denied, his eyes wide with horror. He thrashed against the Others now who held him just as tightly. Tears openly fell from his eyes, his expression half-crazed.
I turned my attention back to the Originals, unable to look upon Sebastian any longer lest my conviction waiver.
“Let me join you. Let me lead you,” I whispered, my words full of promises and laced with forbidden secrets and possibilities unknown. “I want for us all to be equals – that’s all and everything I want now, I promise you. I will lead you all to your true destinies.”
The five Originals considered me with flat and emotionless eyes. I could feel the others holding their breaths, hardly daring to move let alone speak up to their leaders. I knew how badly they wanted to believe me. I could feel their desire in the air. They hungered for more power and I was the only one who could offer it to them. I knew there was no way they would resist. I could sense how close I was to victory and I was both joyful and horrified at the prospect.
“Please, don’t do this,” Sebastian cried out again, his voice desperate and agonized. The sound of it echoing around the chamber nearly broke me, his pain bouncing off the walls and battering at my ears from every direction. Another kick in the head from Darius silenced him and he abruptly lay silent and still. I barely turned my attention his way, sensing that he still lived and having to be satisfied with that. I focused my entire being on the five people before me. This was my moment of truth.
“You will stand by and observe without hindering our actions while we end his life?” David asked, arching a questioning brow at me. I nodded my agreement.
“He must pay the price for the wrongs he has done.”
“Why should we believe you?” Angelina demanded.
I shrugged. “His death is irrelevant. He will be reborn in the future and then perhaps he might meet the potential I once saw in him. But he is not the same person now that I made so many promises to years ago and regardless, he has broken most of his vows to me in the years that have separated us. You have kept us apart before with the aide of Magdalene; didn’t I give him up easily enough then? Didn’t you say yourself it was like I no longer wished to find him?”
I let the Others consider this in silence, allowing time for my words to sink in. I was almost grateful that Sebastian appeared to be unconscious now, noting out of the corner of my eye that his breathing was shallow and his pallor white. I tried not to let my thoughts linger on him for too long.
“I only ask that you grant me one favor before his death - let me break the Binding that I share with him first? Otherwise I will share in the pain of his death. It would not only be excruciating in ways that you can’t imagine but it would also debilitate me for some time. Grant me this one mercy, and I shall ensure that all of your powers meet the full magnitude of my own.”
“Perhaps we should allow the Binding to remain in tact,” Jonathon suggested, his bright blue eyes looking thoughtful. “It would make a fitting punishment for rejoining with Seamus and for the murder you have committed of one of our own.”
“No,” Jai immediately objected. He shifted uncomfortably as the attention of the group was turned on him. “If the Binding remains intact his soul will be drawn to Caoilinn’s again in his next life. Though he would be born without access to the Lost Magic, he could share some of Caoilinn’s ability through the bond once he was close enough to her.”
“This is true,” I confirmed, giving Jai a slight nod of my head. He met my eyes for the briefest of moments and I could have sworn I saw something there. A silent understanding passed between us. I suddenly wondered if there could be others present who might have guessed what I planned, who might even want for me to succeed.
“Fine,” David agreed. “Strip him of the Binding and be quick about it. My knife yearns to spill the blood of this traitor whom I once called brother.”
Another chill ran down my spine as the words “spill his blood” seemed to echo eerily around the chamber. I nodded my agreement and stepped forward, gesturing for the Others to move back. The three holding Sebastian down hesitated, looking to David for approval.
“You don’t want to be touching him when I remove the Binding,” I warned them. “I’m not sure exactly what it would do to you but I can promise, if you feel even an ounce of his pain it will be nearly too much for you to bear.”
David slowly nodded to the others that they should move back. The three rose together, slowly stepping away from Sebastian’s still form on the floor. Sebastian and I were once again left alone in the center of the half-circle, the Others having all backed up now by several feet. I prayed that it were distance enough.
Sebastian lay with his eyes closed, his face pale and gray. A trickle of blood had run from his ear. His breathing was shallow and fast, a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead despite the cold, damp air. I took a deep breath and then began speaking to him softly, my words just loud enough to carry to the Others’ ears.
“You are no longer Seamus Maitiu Coghlan,” I pronounced slowly and carefully. “You are not the same man who I fell in love with two thousand years ago. You are not the same person who I made promises and vows to that should have lasted an eternity. And so, I feel justified as I break those vows now.”
Sebastian’s eyes flickered, my words reaching down into his subconscious and dragging him back up to the present.
“I abolish all vows and commitments made between us. I am sorry, but your life must now run its natural course. You will die and you will be reborn without the magic I once granted to you – it will be lost to you from here on and into forever.”
Sebastian’s eyes fluttered open, his vision slowly focusing on my face as I reached for his left hand.
“Caoilinn?” he murmured, his words thick and sluggish as if he had just awakened from a deep sleep. “What are you doing?”
“I am breaking the Binding between us. The magic that has linked our souls for two thousand years, the bond that we have
shared through so many lifetimes – I’m afraid it must be destroyed.” My voice caught a little at the end as I stared down into his frightened and bewildered eyes. He shook his head slightly in denial.
“I don’t understand. Why are you doing this? Please…” he begged.
“It is what I must do,” I told him, speaking with a soft intensity that I directed solely at him. More than anything, I wanted him to understand what I was about to do – I needed for him to trust me. He blinked, his eyes suddenly focusing and clearing, his expression became one of calm acceptance.
“I trust you,” he whispered, his lips barely moving as he spoke. I doubted that any of the Others had heard him, but still I spoke quickly, hoping to cover up the sudden change in both his expression and tone.
“I hereby break all vows and promises that commit us to one another. I strip from you the magic that we once shared,” I intoned in a loud and clear voice. My words fell about the chamber flatly, without echoing as they should have. I was dimly aware of the Others stirring uneasily as some heard the discrepancy in my words. “I am sorry,” I whispered, my voice finally breaking. My hands trembled as I pulled from his finger the ring inlaid with a piece of amber from my necklace and I focused my wants on breaking all Caoilinn’s vows and promises to him. With the removal of the ring, I took away from him all the magic Caoilinn had bestowed upon him, once upon a time, and I used the loophole that she had left for both him and herself.
I had done the unthinkable. I had taken away my commitment to him and with it, I had stripped him of all his magic and all the magic connected to his – the magic of the Others. With my whole heart, all I wanted was for Sebastian to live and the only way for him to survive was for him to lose his abilities, for his magic to truly be lost and for him to lose the Binding to me. And the only way I could take away his magic was to give up my own as I had wanted to with every tiny fiber of my being. Through my dream memories of Caoilinn, I had gotten to know and understand her. I had come to the realization that she had only said it was impossible to remove the powers she had granted because she never thought it possible that she would be able to give up Sebastian or to give up her own ability. But although I had come to accept that Caoilinn was a part of me – I had also realized that she wasn’t me. This was perhaps the one thing that she would never have been powerful enough to do, but I could do it and I had.
There was silence in the chamber but I could immediately sense the difference. The darkness that had hung overhead suddenly seemed thinner, more permeable. The torches seemed to burn brighter and the danger and fear that had filled the space was abruptly abolished with the shadows. I could tell the Others sensed the difference too, though they obviously didn’t immediately understand what I had done. I felt an emptiness deep down inside where my magic had always been, even when I hadn’t truly been aware that it was there. I felt like a piece of me were missing now and I was surprised by the sudden sense of loss and abandonment that was rising up within me. I had stripped the Lost Magic from us all but I reminded myself that I was not powerless yet – no, I would never be that again.
Sebastian slowly sat up as I slid his ring onto my finger, though in truth it was my ring, it had always been mine.
He turned to stare at me wonderingly, his eyes slightly wider than usual with fear. He was still pale but his eyes were bright and focused, his injuries healed and diminished by the last of my wants.
“It’s gone,” he whispered.
“It was never meant to be,” I agreed.
He nodded thoughtfully, knowing the truth of my words.
“But how did you…?”
“They never expected me to give up my ability – Caoilinn never would have, so they didn’t think to stop me. It was simple really and it was the only way to take away your powers and to take away theirs. That was the sacrifice that Caoilinn knew must be made but couldn’t bear to ever make herself. The magic was always meant to be lost, it should have died with her and now I have finally righted the last of her wrongs,” I softly explained.
“What have you done?” Oscar barked, an unexpected edge of panic to his loud, commanding voice.
I ignored him and pulled my necklace from around my neck, the leather thong that held it breaking as I did so. The amber glowed with an unnatural light, throbbing and sparkling like a firefly in my hand. It held all of the Lost Magic now – it had been the only outlet I could think of to contain the vast amount of ancient power and secrets. As long as I held it, I could still direct the magic to fulfill my wants but the same would be true for whoever held the necklace now. It was dangerous and I knew it must be destroyed. I took a slow, deep breath and focused my wants, directing the magic into a complicated design that would hold the thirteen Others in place and prevent them from interfering. It was difficult to control the actions of so many people at once, especially when I was drawing upon the magic through my necklace instead of directly from myself. I felt my control wavering as the Others slowly began to move forwards.
“I have to destroy it,” I told Sebastian quietly, though it didn’t truly matter anymore if the Others overheard. My voice came out low and strained as I struggled to focus on the spell and to speak at the same time. “It’s going to be dangerous. If we survive, and we may not, most of our memories will be obliterated and the Binding between us will forever be broken; the spell still remains in tact for now but it must be broken in order for this to work.”
The Others inched closer. My hands began to shake as I struggled to focus and form the complicated design in my mind that would complete my last spell. I needed to make sure Sebastian understood before I did this. I wasn’t certain that I could “want” it enough unless I knew that he accepted my decision.
“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?” he asked. “If you erase the Binding and the past history between us… what if we don’t know each other anymore? What if our love doesn’t exist without the magic?”
“Then what kind of love is that?”
He considered, dropping his eyes to the ground.
“The necklace!” one of the men yelled. “Get it from her!”
The Others struggled to move closer, fighting against the magic that I was desperately trying to hold them back with.
“We’ll know once and for all if our love is based on a magic that bound us together two thousand years ago or if it’s something more,” I pointed out. Sweat was beading on my brow as I struggled to concentrate, as I tried to be strong enough to hold them back.
Sebastian’s frown brightened and he slowly smiled, the warmth and love in his eyes momentarily overwhelming.
“I already know the answer to that.”
“Then what is there to fear?”
We shared one last smile before I closed my eyes, committing myself to what must be done and finally wanting it with my whole and complete heart.
“I’ll protect you until the end,” I heard Sebastian whisper.
I placed my faith in him and tried my best to ignore everything around me and to focus on the complicated design that twisted through my mind, heart and soul. The dark lines twisted and turned, looped and knotted and braided together in a pattern so complex I began to tremble and sweat as I willed the magic to submit into the correct form and laced it through the air, filling the chamber with its power.
As my concentration shifted to completing the design, my control over the Others weakened even more. I was dimly aware of Sebastian rising to his feet and moving protectively in front of me, ready to defend me as the Others slowly closed in.
I was aware of movement around me. I heard the definite sounds of a struggle and the loud crack of a bone breaking. Someone cried out in pain – or rage, it was difficult to tell. I pushed it all away, ignoring what was going on outside of me as thoroughly as possible as I focused with all my might on completing this complex and deadly design. The pattern had to twist in and on itself, starting and ending as one unbreakable line so that there was no clear beginning and no end. It
was the most complicated spell I’d ever attempted and required more focus and magic than I’d ever imagined possible.
Sebastian suddenly cried out and at the same time, someone slammed into me. My concentration briefly wavered as I fell down hard on my back. The wind was knocked out of me but I didn’t dare open my eyes or even try to move. I was only dimly aware of the sound of my own panting as I struggled to regain my breath. The back of my skull throbbed with a dull pain where it had connected with the cold, hard ground. I imagined if my eyes were open, my vision would be spinning as I teetered on the edge of consciousness. My mind pulled backwards, sliding further into the quiet place deep within me where the powerful dark design was being formed. I held onto my necklace while I fought to remain conscious. And I slowly drew more and more of the Lost Magic from the necklace, allowing the magic to find a home within me and to fill my mind, heart and soul with its powerful, ancient magic.
“No!” Sebastian yelled, his voice coming from just a few feet to the side of where I lay. The fear and panic in his voice seemed intensified as it echoed around the vast chamber. My heart was abruptly chilled, an icy calm taking over me as I realized one of us was about to die. There was no way I could ignore Sebastian’s cry. My whole body responded to the sound, praying that there might be some way to help him. My eyes automatically flew open, desperately searching him out as I pushed myself upright. My head spun from my sudden movement and I barely managed to hold onto the image of the nearly-completed design in my mind.
A scream caught in my throat as I saw David lunging towards me, the wickedly curved blade of his knife extended and coming straight for my throat. Sebastian was only a half-step behind him but I could tell he wasn’t going to make it in time. I knew this was the end, sadly, it had to be. The scream that had begun building in my throat changed to a sigh of relief as I realized, at least, that Sebastian was still alive.