“Ahh, nothin’. I’m just like, I don’t have to be embarrassed if she sees us holding hands and stuff… Hey, Emilia-tan, about that royal selection thing tomorrow…”
Seeing the tense, guarded look on Emilia’s face, Subaru abandoned his carefree tone. But then Emilia’s expression vanished entirely, and the gloom filling her violet eyes only accentuated her demeanor.
The morning the envoy came, as well as during the time before their departure, Subaru had questioned Emilia several times, but she never lowered her guard. Their arrival at the royal capital had not changed that.
“I’ve told you several times, haven’t I? I brought you here so you can keep your promises and get healed. You don’t need to concern yourself with me.”
“There’s no way I can do that. I mean, here I am, holding your hand… How could I not concern myself like this?”
At some point during his reply, Emilia had stopped walking, holding Subaru back. Under her hood, a single lock of silver hair spilled down Emilia’s face.
Subaru couldn’t help but think about how it looked like a falling teardrop.
“I want to help you. If you’re having a hard time, I want to do something. That’s how it’s been…and that’s how it’s gonna be.”
“…”
Subaru admitted his feelings honestly. He intended to exhaust every effort on Emilia’s behalf.
He knew exactly what motivated him, but—
“Why?”
“……uhh?”
“Why do you go to such lengths for me, Subaru? I don’t understand.”
The incredulity in Emilia’s eyes thoroughly bewildered Subaru. When her hand squeezed his in search of an answer, Subaru’s throat caught as he struggled for words.
“That’s…”
“…”
“Th…that’s…!”
Even if he knew what he ought to say, he needed the resolve and courage to speak the words. And suddenly put to the test, Subaru lacked both. In the end, Subaru said nothing as Emilia waited.
As the silence dragged on, he ran out of the time Emilia had given him.
“…Let’s go. The sun will set if we don’t do this soon.”
Emilia started forward again, pulling him along by the hand. Subaru followed, clenching his teeth at his own lack of nerve.
As he watched her small, slender back, he hated himself for losing sight of what he needed to say.
He despised his weakness in the face of the girl who had saved his life and his spirit—the girl who lit the brightest fire in his chest.
As Subaru sank into a vortex of negativity and self-hatred, he started as he suddenly heard a genderless voice, like someone whispering straight into his skull.
“—You’d best leave things at that, Subaru.”
“…!”
“It’s me. I’m speaking directly into your mind, so Lia can’t hear you.”
The method of communication was odd, but the voice was certainly familiar. It was the spirit Emilia had formed a pact with, the supernatural cat always at her side—Puck.
Subaru was taken aback at the sudden telepathic communication.
“…! So you can hear me, too, then?”
“You catch on fast. I wasn’t sure at first, but…it was easy to make a connection, so you might have a high compatibility with spirits. Maybe that’s why Betty likes you.”
Puck’s one-sided knowledge of the situation added irritation to Subaru’s gloom. He felt left out.
“Lia’s all right. Don’t lose hope from that conversation just now.”
“That’s… How the hell do you know?”
“I just know. I know everything there is to know about Lia, after all.”
Even if he didn’t put it into words, Puck’s fatherly love for her was evident in his tone.
The spirit’s guarantee made Subaru feel worse about his own powerlessness. Puck had only reminded him that, when all was said and done, he didn’t know a single thing about Emilia.
The Emilia he knew was a stunningly beautiful half-elf girl. She was a candidate to become the next monarch of Lugunica, under the care of her sponsor, Roswaal.
He knew she was honest, naive, willful, and soft-hearted; her personality drove her to help others even at the cost of herself, making her like an older sister, but also an easy mark.
But all these facts barely scratched the surface. He knew nothing of the girl inside, her emotions, or even how and why she came to pursue the monarchy.
“Putting your heart and soul into everything is pretty rough on you, huh?”
Even if closed lips could conceal his shallow thoughts, he could not silence his very mind. It was impossible to hide everything from Puck, who scooped up surface thoughts like so much soup broth.
“Hey, Subaru.”
He didn’t want to face his own wretchedness any longer. He weakly denied Puck, but these words, whispered to the mind and not the eardrum, never arrived. With Subaru expressing his will through silence, Puck instead continued, “—Don’t get my hopes up too much, or Lia’s.”
“…Huh?”
“Hope is a gentle poison. Even if you know it will ruin you, you can’t help but reach for the illusion that seems close enough to grasp. You are truly a poison.”
To Subaru, who had viewed Puck as an unflappable, tranquil being, those words contained enough force to change his impressions completely.
“What do you mean by…”
But before he could finish his perplexed reply, Emilia, guiding his hand, stopped walking and said, “We’re here.”
Subaru pitched forward, in danger of bumping into Emilia’s back, but he somehow managed to right himself.
When he raised his head, he belatedly understood why this was called the Nobles’ District. The scenery was more refined than that of the slums or Market Street, with much more money invested in it. This was true for not only the buildings, but also the streets, the walls, and the trees had aesthetic appeal. As the name suggested, this was the ward where the upper crust resided.
Their destination was a building that served as the gateway, sealing off the single street connecting it to the outside world.
The solid stonework structure was far plainer than anything in the Nobles’ District behind it. The back of the building contacted a section of the wall, allowing someone on the roof to survey the whole city in a single sweep. However, the purpose of this vantage point was obviously to keep watch over what was below, not to enjoy the sights.
“This is the garrison for the royal capital guards. They also check the identity of people entering the Nobles’ District.”
“So it’s like a customs checkpoint, too. That’s probably what they built it here for, huh?”
He could appreciate it on logical and practical grounds, but his aversion to it was no doubt an instinctive reaction to something so emblematic of bureaucracy.
Emilia said nothing to the reluctant Subaru as she headed for the garrison. Mindful of the time and place, she finally let go of his hand. He mourned the loss of her palm.
And just as Emilia was about to knock on the garrison’s door, it opened toward the outside as a young man poked his face out.
“—My, it is not often I meet an acquaintance in a place like this. It has been some time, Lady Emilia. You have not changed at all since then.”
The young man bowed formally to Emilia—whom he had recognized even though she was wearing the hood. That alone put Subaru on guard, but Emilia’s expression was serene as she nodded toward the youth.
“…Yes, thank you. No changes in particular, no. I see you are also in good health, Julius.”
“I am honored that you remember me. Your beauty has only increased, Lady Emilia.”
The young man named Julius praised Emilia’s good looks in a very polished manner. He had violet hair and an equal mix of snobbery and politeness. He was about half a foot taller than Subaru, putting him at around five foot nine, give or take. His body was slender, but he did not seem fra
il; rather, he had a handsome, supple frame. His amber eyes, no doubt bewitching to the opposite sex, suited him to a detestably fine degree.
“Is it not a rarer sight for you, a royal guardsman, to be here at the garrison?”
The man wore an extravagant uniform with a dragon emblem. A slender sword like a rapier hung from his hip. Julius’s appearance and manner of speech suited such a title.
“I’ve come to express appreciation to the soldiers for their services and take the opportunity to observe the city…or something like that. A friend asked me to pay a visit, and I suppose it is good to put friends first once in a while. After all, I was able to lay my eyes upon a beautiful flower along my path through these streets.”
With well-practiced motion, Julius intimately grasped Emilia’s hand as he spoke, bending down on one knee. Without a single pause for breath, he brought his lips to the back of her pale hand.
Subaru watched this course of events in complete shock. After a few moments’ delay, his emotions came to a boil as this man’s conceited behavior rubbed him in every wrong way imaginable. His breath ragged, Subaru was about to rush over and give Julius a piece of his mind when Emilia held him in check with her other hand.
“Thank you, Julius. I regret that this is very sudden, but…I would like to get in touch with the castle about a certain matter.”
As Julius listened to Emilia’s request, his voice lowered as he looked at Subaru.
“Ah, so that is why you came to the garrison… This matter, does it concern him over there?”
Not enjoying Julius’s condescending gaze, Subaru locked eyes with him and glared back.
“—His character and demeanor form a poor match for those clothes. Such an appearance does not make a good first impression.”
“Thank you for the kind advice. I have some advice for you, too. If you eat curry udon in an outfit like that, the broth stains will really stand out, so you definitely should pass.”
“Thank you for going out of your way to say so. I shall pay it heed if I should ever have such an opportunity.”
The smiles they exchanged were most certainly not friendly. Subaru did not like him. Julius no doubt thought the same. In that spirit, he promptly ignored Subaru and turned his attention back to Emilia.
“I shall guide you to the magic mirror, then, though it pains my heart to bring you into a humble place such as this, Lady Emilia.”
“You needn’t be concerned. I’m quite all right, so please.”
“Very well. Come in.”
With that, Julius went back inside first. Subaru snorted a bit and stepped forward. But Emilia turned to him in front of the doorway, obstructing his path.
“Subaru, you wait here.”
“…Huh?”
Subaru was taken aback. Emilia’s long eyelashes trembled a bit as she lowered her eyes.
“I’d like to have you come, but I don’t think Julius will take it well, so wait here.”
“The heck? You care about that annoying jerk’s feelings more than mine?”
“It’s not that. It’s not about upsetting him, it’s that I don’t want to put you through something you’ll probably hate, so please, Subaru, wait here.”
“I hate it enough as it is already. The way that bastard licked Emilia-tan’s hand all over like it was nothing…!”
Subaru had pegged that particular action as a sign of perversion, adding one more item to his list of negative impressions. It only compounded how he didn’t want Emilia to have any contact with that man. Subaru’s masculine instincts wanted desperately to warn her to watch out for Julius.
“This won’t take long, so please, be good and wait.”
Her words were very gentle, yet heavily tinged with rejection. Emilia was fundamentally distancing Subaru from her own affairs. But afraid of incurring her displeasure for intruding, he was unable to speak a word in protest.
She vanished behind the door as it closed, separating them physically and metaphorically with a dull thud. Subaru murmured, “…I’m super-uncool.”
Kicking around a rock some distance from the entrance as he waited for Emilia, Subaru distracted himself from his seething self-hatred as he recalled the annoying man.
“She said he was a royal guard, didn’t she?”
If Subaru’s hunch was correct, that meant he was a Knight of the Royal Guard. If knightly orders existed in this world, surely Knights of the Royal Guard served the royal family directly. But where did they stand in a country with no sitting monarch?
“The whole royal family died from plague, huh. They might make the elites in the Knights of the Royal Guard take responsibility for not seeing that coming and disband them, tossing them and their families out onto the street… Well, that sucks for the rest of ’em, but I wouldn’t mind that annoying bastard going through a little hell…”
The somber thought gave him some small measure of satisfaction. He wondered who he’d picked up that pettiness from.
In the past, Subaru would have never directed his ire about the inconveniences that befell him toward another person. He wouldn’t have given a single thought to speaking ill of heaven or venting his frustrations.
In a good sense, he was now concerned with appearances in a way he had not before arriving here. He wanted to live a life that he could show the honest and forthright girl close to him without shame.
It was a vague thought… But he wondered if he had really changed a little? He couldn’t tell.
“—Mm?”
As Subaru ruminated, he felt a disturbance and frowned at a glimpse of something at the edge of his vision. For a brief moment, his gaze had wandered toward the city for no particular reason and caught sight of a colorful dress disappearing into a back alley. The color was such a vivid red that it seemed to sear itself into his eyes, even with only a glance. And had the dress been merely traveling down the street, no doubt it would not have registered in Subaru’s mind whatsoever.
Even entering a back alley, the garment would not have caught his attention, save for the fact that the girl wearing it was being led there by seedy-looking men.
“Just now… There’s no way it could be a that, right…?”
A major crime in broad daylight in front of the guards’ garrison—or so he thought, but perhaps this was a case of hiding in plain sight. Upon closer inspection, the location was in the garrison’s blind spot. Subaru had seen them by dumb luck the instant he’d entered an alleyway while he moped.
“Setting aside that I just feel calmer in narrow spaces, I’d better go get the gua—”
Subaru hesitated. He hadn’t witnessed an actual crime taking place. It was very possible he’d misinterpreted what he’d seen.
At any rate, Subaru bore a powerful, arbitrary grudge against the garrison at that moment.
“Plus, if I’m wrong, it might make trouble for Emilia… It won’t be too late to call for help after I confirm things first.”
Voicing this excuse to himself, Subaru shot a glance at the garrison as he ran toward the alley. He felt guilty about going back on his promise to wait patiently for Emilia, but a higher duty called. Plus, Subaru’s resentment toward Julius.
And hearing an angry shout the instant he entered the alley, Subaru was firmly convinced he’d made the right decision and picked up his pace.
“—Why, you little bitch! I’m not messin’ around here!”
3
“Don’t mess with me, woman! You want a punch to that pretty little face?!”
“Do not get ahead of yourself, peasant. Those of low character enjoy appropriately lowly fates.”
Several voices argued, and three men surrounded a lone woman in the narrow alley, cutting off her avenues of escape.
This was a stereotypical street punk encounter, but what left a burning impression on Subaru was the striking appearance of the girl who repulsed the atmosphere hanging over the cramped alley.
Her hair was a radiant orange like the sun itself, flowing through a single barrett
e before spilling down her back. Her dress was blood crimson, and above all, the overwhelming beauty of the girl herself shone in her sordid surroundings. Even untrained eyes could tell at a glance that the jewelry on her neck, ears, and fingers were of the highest quality. Her full outfit, coordinated from top to bottom, had to be worth at least a hundred times the money Subaru had on him. And yet, all that extravagant jewelry was incomparable to her face.
She had red, defiant eyes. Her faintly pink lips emphasized the hue of her skin, white as the purest snow. One might spend an entire lifetime and fortune in search of such beauty and never find it. Subaru realized all over again how often this world defied his idea of common sense.
The girl crossed her arms in a calm posture that only accentuated her bountiful breasts. He couldn’t just stand back and watch while her attitude raised the men’s hackles ever higher.
“—H-heya! Sorry to keep you waiting, honey!”
Subaru immediately raised a hand and wedged himself into the middle of the action. Laughing by himself as he interrupted the surprised trio, Subaru put his hands together in supplication. “It seems that she’s caused you a little trouble, but could you do me favor and let it slide? I’m sure you can tell just by looking at her, but the girl is a little…y’know…in the head. You get me?”
Her celebrity-like style practically screamed “Rob me, please!” and she was hanging around the alleyways in a city with questionable levels of law enforcement. What sane person would be so reckless?
Subaru asserted to the stunned men, “So that’s how it is!” and grasped the girl’s hand.
“Mm…!”
“Hey, let’s move on before you cause the good boys here any more trouble. Let’s do like we promised today and feed each other sweets, just the two of…”
Subaru quickly laid things out, casting her in the role he’d assigned Emilia in his fantasies, aiming to get her out of there as fast as possible. However…
“Uhh?”
“Do not…touch me so freely!”
She put her other hand on top of Subaru’s, twisting her body to yank the boy forward. A moment after he realized he’d lost his hold on her wrist, his face slammed right into the wall.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 4 Page 5