by Lexi Banks
“You do?” Was he yanking my leg or did he mean this? I couldn’t quite tell.
“I do, as it happens. My old company is having a benefit next Saturday, and they want me there. It might be a bit boring, but it’d be a million times better if I had a super fun date with me.” He wiggled his brows playfully, almost causing a laugh to explode from my chest. “So, what do you say? You up for it?”
The thought of being on any sort of date with him again made me happy; I so desperately wanted that. Sure, this might not have been exactly what I had in mind, but I suppose it made it low pressure and fun. I could do that for him. “Well, like you said I can’t exactly say no now, can I? I’ll have to come with you.”
“Be a bit more enthusiastic on the day, yeah? I want it to actually be a good time.”
I snorted with laughter knowing that whatever we did it would be fun. It was just where that fun would lead...
AS I SPREAD ACROSS my bed, trying desperately to fall asleep again, my thoughts continually drifted back to Parker. He was different today; he got really involved with the kids, it was like something had unleashed inside of him and allowed him to have a good time. The shyness didn’t seem to bother him as much as usual; he was happy to make a fool out of himself as long as the children had a good time. It was awesome, actually. I loved that side of him. He laughed more, smiled wider, made a whole load of jokes. Finally, others got to see the side of him that I adored so much. Sometimes, he stored that version of himself away until people really got to know him. Even more so since he made his money, but I guess that came from being used so regularly by so many people. He needed his guard up.
Why was he so different? That question kept spinning through my mind, and really, there was only one logical answer. Him and me hooking up, sleeping together, and then causally deciding to sort of date or at least see one another until we could work out where things were going to go was the only new thing. Had that inspired him?
I stared up at the ceiling, noticing a smile creeping up on my cheeks. If only Mom could be here now, she would have been so happy to see Parker and me slowly doing... whatever this was. She really did want it to happen. It was crazy, but maybe if I’d listened to her, then things would have happened a lot sooner. But then, if I wanted to start believing in fate, then everything happened for a reason, and perhaps we were only just ready for one another now.
Or there was the chance that I was being extremely naïve of course, and this was all about to blow up in my face and crumble to a million pieces, and I would regret every second of this happiness. Only time would tell.
Chapter 15 – Parker
Friday
I could hardly suppress the smile at all. I had been that way ever since Tuesday. Every step felt lighter, like I was bouncing, like every breath felt easier to suck in. Of course, this didn’t escape Buster’s notice at all.
“Come on then,” he sighed wearily. “Will you just tell me what it is already? You’re driving me nuts.”
“What are you talking about?” I sipped my drink idly, acting all innocent as I did. “I’m acting exactly the same as I always do. Maybe it’s you who’s being weird; I’m not totally sure.” I cocked my head to one side curiously.
“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit. You’re all... I don’t know, annoying and happy. You aren’t always like that.”
I tossed my head back and laughed. “Are you saying I’m usually a miserable fucker?”
“Not in so many words, but yes. And you must think it too if you’ve said that, so what is going on?”
I darted my eyes around the café we were sitting in as if I feared we might be overheard. I had to tell Buster, I needed to get it off my chest, but I felt guilty in doing so. Sharing intimate details about Maddie wasn’t like discussing my usual sexual exploits. It felt more personal somehow, something I wanted to keep close to my chest, but I also had to say something because the information was storing up in me like lava ready to explode and overflow.
“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.” I rolled my eyes and caved quickly. “Me and Maddie slept together.”
“No... fucking way!” He acted like this wasn’t something he’d been expecting for ages. “No way, you didn’t.”
His reaction was one of pure shocked glee. His eyes went all wide and stunned like he was freaking out. It made me a little uncomfortable actually. I felt a little like I might have done something wrong. I guess because I still had that feeling a little bit myself, it wasn’t too hard to push me over the edge. I kicked out my legs awkwardly.
“Yeah, we did. We had a... a date.” Was it a date? I still couldn’t quite work it out. It seemed that way, and we both seemed to treat it as much, but neither of us thought we’d end up in bed together. “Then we slept together.”
“And how has it been since?” Buster leaned forward, leaning expectantly on the table. “Is it all weird or are you together? Oh no, are you about to become one of those sickening couples who are into public displays of affection?”
I rolled my eyes and tutted. “Oh right, like you aren’t knee deep in a relationship now.”
“You didn’t answer the question. Is there a reason you’re avoiding it? Did she blow you off?”
“No, no, we’re just taking things really slowly. It’s for the best, you know? Since we’re friends and all.”
“So... you’re staying friends?” Buster looked confused by this. “Like, friends with benefits?”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it as crudely as that... but I suppose for now, sort of, maybe? It’s like the very beginning of potentially something, but we’re just going to be really careful so we don’t ruin anything.”
“Wow... it sounds like you’re really overcomplicating things. Is there a reason for that?”
“No, we aren’t complicating things. We’re making things simpler by taking it slow...”
Wait, were we? When Maddie explained it to me, it really sounded like it was the best thing for us, but now with Buster giving me the opposite view, I felt confused. I needed to make my own mind up somehow.
“Well, I think it’s fine,” I continued decidedly. “I think it’s what we need to make sure we don’t fuck up the years of friendship. Like I said to you before, we’ve been through so much together, I don’t want to lose her.”
“Yeah, which is why I’m advising you that friends-with-benefits doesn’t work. Especially in a situation like this. In my opinion, you need to dive right in and give it your all, or back off and just be friends.”
I swallowed the thick thump that formed in my throat at his words. I didn’t like the way they made me feel. Jumping in with both feet was scary but would be my choice, but it wasn’t just up to me. There was someone else involved in all of this, and her opinion mattered greatly. Maddie needed to pick what she wanted too.
“Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” I answered in a much too prickly tone. “I’m not concerned.”
Buster didn’t say anything for a while, almost as if he was giving me some time to really think this through. Of course, I felt concerned, I would be an idiot not to, but I didn’t want him to know that. Maybe I should have kept it all to myself; I was starting to regret saying anything to Buster at all. I thought he would be happy for me.
“I don’t want to put a damper on things, mate,” Buster finally said to me. “I just want to help you.”
“Yeah, I know, I know.” I had to try my hardest to blow past it. “It makes sense, I agree with you.”
Buster stood up and moved to the counter to get us another drink. While he went, I allowed the words to stew inside my brain, but I still didn’t have any answer about what to do with them. I glanced at my cell phone, wishing that I could have some form of communication from her but she was at work, so I already knew that I wouldn’t.
Still, there wasn’t any reason that I couldn’t text her: ‘Hey, Maddie, I hope work is alright! Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you. Give me a call later on xxx’
Once I hit send, I wondered if I’d said too much. The whole thinking of her part might have been a step too far, but it was too late now, into the cybersphere, headed straight for her. Nothing I could do.
“I got you a cappuccino; is that alright?” Buster asked as he sat the mug down. I nodded and took a sip. “Good, because there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about too, if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure, what is it?” I furrowed my brows at him. “Nothing’s wrong, is it?”
“No, no, just a business opportunity, a very good one too, I might add. An investment I think you’ll love.”
“Right, okay...” I felt confused by the way in which he presented it. “What sort of opportunity is it?”
“It’s a great one, but all very hush-hush at the moment.” I wasn’t too sure I liked the sound of that... but it wasn’t unheard of. “I can set you up with a meeting if you want to hear more about it? I would if I were you.”
“Why are you being all weird?” I laughed at him. “Can’t you tell me anything?”
“I would if I could, but I just can’t. It’s one of those things, you understand.” He winked at me as if sharing a secret. “But I can’t until you see said person. So, should I set it up?”
“And I have to go, do I? You can’t just represent me?” I knew that I was clutching at straws, but I hated all the face to face stuff. I found it really awkward when I had to say no. Through a third party, it was never quite as bad.
“No, you have to come, that’s one of the stipulations. That’s okay though, right?”
“Sure,” I sighed in the end. There wasn’t any point in fighting this; when Buster had something under his hat, he usually found a way to convince me. I was easily swayed by him because he knew where my strengths and weaknesses lay. “Whatever. Set it up for me. I’ll do it, whatever you need.”
“You don’t have to sound too happy about it,” he snickered. “Christ, this is your work now.”
“I know, I know.” Sometimes I missed the days of being in an office every day. I liked the routine, the constant movement, the sensation of purpose, but on other days I was very glad to give up the stress. The pressure of having everything resting on my shoulders was a lot. There were times when I absolutely hated it, and I was so glad that I had seen the back of it a long time ago. “I’ll go to the meeting; you don’t have to keep pushing me.”
Buster smirked at me and shook his head. “Good, I’ll set it up then. I’ll let you know when it’s all done.”
I wasn’t totally cool with the idea, but it was done now. It had to turn out to be something amazing, or I would be pissed off at Buster for dragging me into it... whatever it may be...
IT FELT LIKE HOURS passed before Maddie finally rang me. It probably hadn’t been that long, but every minute without her stretched on forever. When I finally got that ringing sound, relief flooded my entire body.
“Hey there,” I cooed into the receiver, clutching it close to my head. “How’s it going?”
“All good.” Immediately I could tell that she sounded shattered. I hadn’t necessarily planned on going to see her or staying over, but that idea was way out the question now. Not that I minded, we weren’t rushing. “Long though.”
“Yeah, I bet. You’re doing a lot of good though, don’t forget that much.”
I could hear her feet moving and my brain immediately pictured her inside of her apartment. I couldn’t help but smile as the image of her wandering through her home filled me with joy. Much as I wished that I could be there with her, I was glad that I could even have this time with her. I loved that she even called me.
“Thank you, that means a lot to me. Ah, my couch, I can’t wait to sit my ass down. My feet are killing me.”
I strongly resisted the urge to tell her that I would rub her feet. Potentially, that was a step too far. “Aw, that sucks. You should try and take it easy once in a while. You’re always so rushed off your feet.”
“I know, I know, but at the same time, you know I don’t do well sitting still most of the time. Only now and again. I can only rest now and again if I know I’ve spent the rest of my time being useful. That’s just me.”
I knew that all too well, she had always been this way. Even during our school days, she was the one spending all her days running around like a mad person, pushing herself to the edge to make sure she did everything that she could. At the time, I half wondered if it was a distraction from her mom’s sickness, but now I could see that it was just her personality. She hadn’t changed one bit, and I couldn’t see that ever happening.
“So, how are things going with the research?” I asked her, wanting to know everything. “All going well?”
“Oh yeah, it’s great actually. I have a lot of good stuff going on; I think we might be having a break through...”
I listened to her talk, drinking it all in, loving the lilt of her voice as she talked. There was no denying that things were different now, nothing would be the same again. I used to listen to her tell me stories all the time, but now I could feel those words deep in my bones. They affected me greatly. It was already like she was the love of my life, and we were only just getting started.
So much for not moving too quickly...
Chapter 16 – Madison
Saturday
“Oh, wow, Billy! That’s awesome news.” I grinned brightly at the scientist standing in front of me. He raked his fingers through his dirty blond hair and nodded enthusiastically at my words of encouragement. “So, you really think this is going well? The tests all showed glimpses of actual progress? I can’t believe it! This is awesome.”
I clutched my hand to my chest in sheer hope. I so desperately wanted some good news with all of this and to know that while this treatment was still very much in the experimental stages, the idea that it could soon go on to save people’s lives was incredible. Even more so that I had played a small role in it. I was so damn happy.
I can’t wait to tell Parker, I thought happily to myself. Admittedly, he had always been pretty high up on my list of people to tell whenever I got good news, but now he was first. His face always cropped into my brain before anyone else. I couldn’t wait to see that genuine happy expression on his face as I let him know the good news. He was very quickly becoming the person I wanted to share my joy and sorrow equally with. It was crazy.
“Yep.” Billy sounded just as proud of himself as he should have been. He had worked harder than anyone I knew. “It’s all really positive. Better than anything I’ve tested in a very long time, so it’s all looking good.”
My initial instinct was to reach out and hug him to share the good news, but I got the funny feeling that he had a little bit of a crush on me. Well, it wasn’t just a feeling, Tina teased me about it all the time, saying ho obvious it as and I didn’t want to do anything to give him a false impression. So, I simply smiled at him from afar instead.
“That’s so fantastic. I’m so happy! Do you mind showing me all the results later on? I’d love to see the report.” I glanced at my watch, my stomach growling noisily to alert me to the time anyway. “I’m going to grab some lunch in the café before my belly starts eating itself, but can we do it when I get back?” He nodded. “Thanks, Billy.”
There was almost a skip in my step as I walked away, positivity brimmed within me. This was why I got involved with all of this, to make a difference. It was my way of keeping Mom with me, and to show her that her death wasn’t for anything. That was what I feared most. I hated that her memory would die with me, so I needed that incredible woman to have some sort of impact on the world because she mattered. She mattered so damn much.
This is for you, Mom, I glanced upwards as I spoke to her in my mind. I hope you’re proud.
A tune raced through my brain as I walked out of the research facility and into the café just inside the hospital doors. It took all of my will power to keep it inside. I yanked my cell phone out of my pocket and fired off a text to Tina to see if s
he was around to grab some lunch, but I didn’t hold out too much hope. I knew from this morning that she had a lot of work on today, there were a lot of procedures that had to be prepared for, so I could find myself alone. I didn’t mind too much though, not with all this happiness bursting through my veins.
I made a decision that I would call Parker as soon as I had my food ready to share at least some of the news with him, just so I didn’t burst under the weight of it all. I couldn’t share all the details, not while sat in a public place, plus I needed to actually see the report before I could know everything, but I could tell him some.
“Hello.” As I stood idly in the queue, singing to myself, I almost missed the timid voice which spoke behind me. It sounded so quiet there wasn’t really any indication that it was speaking to me at all, but something about the tone grabbed my attention. As soon as I glanced down, the sight of a tear-stricken face caught me.
Who is it? For a couple of seconds, I knew that I recognized the face, I just wasn’t sure where from. It took me a while to catch on to the fact that it was the young girl who I talked to in the hospital hallway not so long ago. The one with a very sick mother and a father lost in his on grief. I glanced upwards, seeing him there behind her but he still seemed to be very much only there in body, not in mind at all. My heart went out to both of them.
“Hey, sweetie,” I said kindly to her. “It’s good to see you again. How are you?” She shrugged, probably unable to vocalize her emotions. I recognized that well. “How is your Mom doing?” Again, just a shrug. “Okay. Are you here with her today?” This time, I got a very silent nod. The poor girl! “Are you having some lunch?”
“Yes,” she practically whispered back. “Daddy said I need to keep eating to keep strong.”
I looked up at her father again, but the glazed over look told me he didn’t even notice me talking to his child. My dad wasn’t around when Mom was sick. I couldn’t ever recall a time where he was so I had no idea how he would have reacted when it was my family going through this. I had learned along the way that no one was the same.