A Reason To Live_An Inspirational Romance

by T. K. Chapin

  “Yes, temporarily, and you went ahead and took her daughter away from her by getting guardianship.”

  “You could’ve done something about it. You didn’t even show up at the court date, Dan.”

  “I wasn’t moved to do anything about it at the time.”

  “But you’re moved to tell me how to run my life? Are you kidding?”

  “Get off my property. I never want to speak to you or see you again.”

  Jonathan returned to his driver side door as disbelief overtook him. He got back into his car. Watching his father-in-law through the windshield as he wobbled back into his house, Jonathan felt sadness for the man who claimed to be a man of God.

  “Time for food, Daddy?”

  “Yes, dear.”

  Looking once more to the house, Jonathan pulled out of the driveway for the last time. All that hatred in his heart was not from God, but from the depths of hell itself.

  On the drive back to Spokane, Jonathan thought about the exchange between himself and his father-in-law. Though he had driven a little more than three hours out of his way to go speak with the man for a three-second conversation, Jonathan felt good that he had made the drive. He knew now that the issue didn’t reside within himself, but with Dan. Dan had a corrupted heart that had been twisted and distorted, not by God but by the cares of this world. Jonathan prayed with tear-filled eyes that God could reach his father-in-law.

  #

  Arriving home, Jonathan checked the messages on his cell phone after plugging it in to charge. There was a message from Pastor Gedstead. Listening to it, he set his keys on the counter and pulled out a cup from the cupboard.

  “Hey, Jonathan. It’s me, Pastor. I wanted to let you know those prayers of yours worked. I spoke with the principal and the admissions counselor today at the church, and it turns out they just had a boy move away from the area in Mrs. Riley’s pre-school class. You’re in. Give me a call back and we can go over some details.”

  Jonathan jumped as he sprinted into the living room. Scooping Rose up, he twirled her around. “You’re going to school!”

  “Really? What about Stephanie? Will she go with me?”

  He smiled. “No, you’ll be in pre-school now. You’ll go be with other kids, just like at church, and you’ll learn about God and the alphabet, and shapes and colors and all that good stuff!”

  “But I love Stephanie.” Rose was somber. She didn’t understand the good news as fully as Jonathan did. He set her down and smoothed his hand over her hair as he knelt down and met her at eye level.

  “I know, but this is a good thing, honey. You’re going to love it.”

  “Are you sure, Daddy?”

  His heart smiled, matching his lips. “Yes, I’m sure.”

  They hugged.

  #

  After dinner and putting Rose down for the night, Jonathan went and worked out. As he walked out of the bathroom after his shower, he toweled his hair. Seeing the notebook sticking out from under the mattress, he thought of his past hurts and his personal history. He had used that notebook to journal his feelings through pictures and drawings. He thought of Kylie and their trip together too. He had slipped his sketches from the falls in there when he arrived home from Ocean Shores. His heart ached. He regretted much of his life after losing Marie, but he regretted Kylie most of all. From time to time, when she came to his mind, he’d pray for her, and then he’d ask himself the most terrible question. What if he’d tried to stop her from getting on the plane that day?

  Chapter 38

  SHORTLY AFTER MOVING INTO HER apartment with Peter, Kylie heard back on the application she had submitted months ago to the Christian school. They didn’t have anything in teaching at the moment, but they did have a need for a teacher’s aide. She interviewed a few days after the call and was extended an offer for the position a week later. It’d be a slight pay decrease, but she’d end up ahead financially with free childcare for her son. After accepting the job, she turned in her notice at Petco without a bit of hesitation. Another victory, another time of thinking about Jonathan.

  Her first day on the job consisted of shadowing the other teacher’s aide who had been covering both the upper and lower grades for the school. The woman she was shadowing was named Crystal, and she came across to Kylie as a resilient and marvelous woman of God.

  Walking down the hardwood floored hallway quickly, Kylie fell slightly behind Crystal in the hall. Crystal glanced back at her. “Your feet will get use to moving. You do a lot of that here.”

  Suddenly stopping, Crystal turned and shoved a key into a side door and let Kylie enter in first. Following behind, she let the door close.

  “What’s this?” Kylie’s eyes surveyed the room. It held a small desk, an industrial-size printer, and a large laminating machine.

  “This is the resource room. Basically your home base, or when the kids are being crazy, your sanctuary away from the chaos. I eat my lunch in here most days. You can do the same if you wish. The only thing I ask is if you take a soda from the fridge, you replace it or get on the list.”

  “List?”

  “Yes. We have a list of teachers and teacher’s aides who all take turns buying cases of soda.” Pausing, Crystal checked her watch. “We have kindergarten lunch in five minutes. Let’s roll.”

  Leaving the resource room, Crystal led her to the lunchroom in the fellowship hall. As they entered, Crystal turned to her and lowered her voice as she came close. “Don’t let these kindergartners fool you with their cute smiles and adorable outfits. They’re ruthless, and if they sense a weakness or smell a lack of confidence, they’ll tear you to shreds. You’ve been warned.”

  Suddenly, she reached a hand out, stopping a small boy from throwing a milk. She set it down on the table and turned her head toward the child sternly but with love.

  “You know better than that, Landan.”

  Crystal continued showing and explaining to Kylie the ins and outs of the school. As they walked past the pre-school doors, Crystal pointed them out. “Those are the preschool rooms. They have their own individual aides who work inside each classroom from time to time, so you won’t be dealing with them at all.” Kylie glanced at the closed doors and kept following.

  #

  Jonathan was nervous when Tuesday morning finally came and it was time to drop Rose off to pre-school at Calvary Chapel. He dressed her up in a red dress with white flowers spotted all over. She also had a plastic red flower in her hair, just above her ear. Bending a knee in the hallway outside her class, he looked her over once, twice, and a third time. Jonathan was sure that he was far more nervous about her going to school for the first time than she was. She was eager to join the other kids filing in through the doorway, her eyes darting at the kids as each one passed through the doorway.

  “Daddy,” Rose whined, pulling from his hold toward the doorway. “I want to go in.”

  His eyes glistened and he fought tears. “You going to be okay all day alone? Do you want to go to home and I’ll let Stephanie know you’re not doing school?” He immediately regretted his words. He stood up and nodded, telling himself and Rose that everything would be okay. “You’ll be fine. We will be fine.”

  Leading her inside the classroom, he surveyed the room, taking everything in while at the same moment, searching for the teacher. He saw a woman in a dress standing near a desk. “Let’s go meet Mrs. Riley.” Walking with Rose by his side, they went over and introduced themselves to each other. After speaking with her teacher for a moment, he felt better about Rose being at school and he was finally able to peel himself away as he saw her jumping into the block action a few of the kids were involved in on the other side of the room.

  In the hallway, he walked down the smooth hardwood floors, thinking of Rose as he did. Turning his head, he glanced back at the classroom, not realizing he was walking directly into someone. Crash, a stack of papers fell to the floor. Embarrassed but respectful, he started to help pick them up. “I’m so sorry. Oh, Cry
stal! Good to see you again.”

  “Hey, Jonathan! It’s been awhile. Are you still going on Tuesday nights? I haven’t been going to the Bible study lately because of a ladies’ group that started up.”

  “Ahh, I wondered about you and your husband. That’s good you’re still plugged in though.”

  “Absolutely. I’d better keep moving. It was nice seeing you.”

  “You too. Bye.”

  They went their separate ways. As Jonathan walked, he thought of Rose, even worried about her. He hoped in his heart that her first day would be enjoyable for her.

  Chapter 39

  A FEW DAYS LATER, KYLIE was set free to be on her own. She had her name badge, keys, and whistle all hanging from a lanyard that hung around her neck. Arriving ten minutes early to the school, she went into the school office to say hello to her new friend Elizabeth at the receptionist counter. They fell into a light conversation about an upcoming field trip when the principal, and Kylie’s boss, Tanya, walked into the office.

  “Good. You’re already here, Kylie. Come with me.”

  Kylie followed Tanya into her office as she threw her purse onto a chair near the office window and flipped on a light switch. “I know it’s a big favor to ask, but you said you really wanted to be a teacher in your interview.”

  Kylie’s heart began to pound. “Yes. That’s correct.”

  “Mrs. Riley is out sick today. Her son Gregory was up all night ill. It’s only preschool, so I figured I’d give you a shot if you wanted it. It’s not as intense of a curriculum like the higher grades. As you know, your son, Peter, is in the other preschool class, so it’s not going to be a distraction to have Mommy teaching. You up for it?”

  “I’ll do it.” Her heart was racing now. “I’m scared to death, but I’ll do it!”

  Tanya came over to Kylie and tilted her head, smiling. “You’ll do great, and know we’re all praying for you. Head to Mrs. Riley’s and get ready for parents.”

  Smiling as she left the office and headed to her classroom, she thanked God over and over for the chance to finally be a teacher. Sure, it was four year olds, but it was a chance to do what she had envisioned herself doing for years. Coming into the classroom, she turned on the light. The walls were decorated in all sorts of nature scenes and bugs. Butterflies, ladybugs and grasshoppers about filled every square inch of the classroom. There were also shrubbery and trees, along with a chore calendar and days of the week. Her eyes glistened with tears of happiness as she thought about all those kids relying on her to teach them. She thought of her Grandma Faith and her heart warmed knowing she’d be proud of her. Realizing she needed to find a lesson plan quickly, Kylie began to search the counters, drawers, and cupboards.

  Crystal opened the door and walked in with a packet in hand.

  “Need this?” she asked, smiling as she walked over to Kylie.

  Kylie’s tensed muscles relaxed seeing that her entire day was laid out before her on an 8 x 9 piece of paper. “I created these for occasions like this. Emergency lesson plans for substitutes.”

  “You really like your job, don’t you?”

  “I love it. Text me if you need anything or run into issues.” Stopping at the door with her hand on the door handle, Crystal turned and looked at Kylie. “You’re going to rock it today, girl. Praying for you.”

  Crystal left, but before the door shut behind her, a man’s hand stopped it. Pulling the door open, the man entered the classroom.

  Seeing who it was, Kylie’s heart jolted.

  “Jonathan?”

  He didn’t say anything but just held onto Rose’s hand as she attempted to sprint. Then he let go, and she ran to Kylie, wrapping her arms around her legs.

  “Kylie!”

  Her heart melted that Rose had remembered who she was. Overwhelmed, she couldn’t speak as more parents and children showed up.

  Jonathan panicked and said, “I got to go.”

  “Me too. Um, I mean, I have to teach.” Her heart was pounding so hard she was barely able to think. Her throat was closed up tight as it felt like someone had choked her. She couldn’t believe he was there, right in front of her. Then, before she could even blink a few times, he was gone out the door. With him out of sight, her heartbeat settled down and she was able to compose herself. Everything felt fine, as long as she didn’t look at Rose for too long.

  #

  Jonathan paced in circles outside the classroom as he debated on what to do. He wanted to go in there and pull her out of class to talk to her, to confess that he’d never stopped loving her. But he rejected the notion right away. He couldn’t rip her from her classroom. Then he thought, she must have a boyfriend. Maybe she didn’t publicize it on Facebook or something. She looked amazing. She looked happy. And that, Mr. Dunken, had nothing to do with you! Once you showed up, she became miserable instantly! You saw her face!

  “Jonathan.” Pastor Gedstead approached with open arms, walking toward him in the hallway. “What’s going on? You look a little beside yourself.”

  He stopped pacing. Once he stopped moving, his eyes glistened as he felt his heart aching in a deep way. It had been so long since he had seen her, but the feelings weren’t even dulled a little, like he had thought they were. If anything, they were stronger than the day she left on that airplane in Olympia. “The woman filling in for Mrs. Riley is the woman I love.”

  The pastor’s eyes widened. “The one that got away?”

  “The one that got away.” Jonathan’s eyes fixed on the door a few feet away. “She was gone, man. I thought I was getting over her. It’s been a year and a half since I saw her last.” He shook his head, his gaze falling back on the pastor. “I love her still like the day I let her go. She must be married or dating now. She looked too happy to not have someone.”

  Suddenly, Crystal came hurrying down to the door of Kylie’s classroom and went inside.

  Jonathan lowered his head. He now knew she wasn’t doing well at all after seeing him. He had brought it on.

  “I have to go, Pastor. I’ll see you around. Okay?”

  “Okay. But before you go, can I pray with you?”

  “Sure.”

  Lowering their heads together, the pastor placed his hand on Jonathan’s shoulder and led a short prayer. “Father, God, Your ways are above our ways. You have absolute and perfect wisdom in all situations that go on in our lives. Help give us the peace that only You can offer. Please, Lord, whatever Jonathan is going through right now, I ask that You help him. Amen.”

  “Thank you.” Jonathan smiled warmly at the pastor.

  “Take care, brother, and have an excellent day.”

  Chapter 40

  WHEN KYLIE’S LUNCH BREAK CAME, she hurried her steps down the hall and to the resource room. Today, it was a sanctuary, not from the children but from her heartache. Her eyes buried in the palms of her hands, she cried out in prayer, asking God, ‘Why, God? Why does he have to have Rose go here?’

  The door opened, and it was Crystal. She was such a kind soul. After getting her text for a five-minute break right after seeing Jonathan, she showed up and jumped in with no questions asked. Kylie made her way to the bathroom and recomposed herself and returned to class. Crystal shut the door of the resource room behind her and approached with concern and love in her eyes. She sat down across from Kylie.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Letting out a heavy sigh, Kylie wiped under her eyes with her fingertips. “What is there to talk about? I fell in love with a man who couldn’t be what I needed. He still loved his deceased wife at the time and didn’t have a love of or for God. I left my job working for him and I hadn’t seen him in a year and a half. But for some silly reason, I still have feelings for the man. I just want the pain to stop, you know? I don’t like the knot in my chest.”

  Crystal listened as Kylie went on to fill her in about a few details of hers and Jonathan’s history. She told her about how things had started simple and then about their trip with th
e kids. Then, ultimately, how things became real and ended after they shared a kiss in her hotel room. She revealed and opened up about it all. This reason might have been the sheer fact that Crystal was just the only one there, but Kylie felt it was more than that. Kylie had taken a liking to Crystal from the very moment they had met.

  “Hey. It just dawned on me. I know Jonathan. He was in my Bible study back a while ago. He seemed like a good guy with an authentic faith.”

  Kylie raised an eyebrow. “That’s good to hear. It’s just all hard to understand. You know?”

  Crystal nodded and moved a chair, positioning it beside Kylie. “Can I tell you something about me?”

  “Yes, please do.”

  “My father was killed a couple of years ago. Some stranger just shot him on a random California boardwalk. There was no reason for the death. It wasn’t even an accident or because someone didn’t like him. It just happened.” She paused, dabbing her eyes with her thumbs as she stirred up the pain.

  “How are you so bubbly and happy in life with that fact looming?”

  “Believe me, I wasn’t at first. I was very upset, and it was toward God for allowing something like that to happen. I was so angry, Kylie. But it was because I was focused on myself and my pain. Once I pressed into God and let myself fall deeper in love with my Creator, I realized something. This life is fleeting. God doesn’t cause the pains in our life, but He can teach us from them. I’ve never walked so closely to God as I do now, and it only happened after losing my dad. He was a great father for that period of time that he was one, but now he’s gone, and that’s okay.”

  Kylie breathed deeply, letting her muscles relax along with her stirring emotions. She thought of Grandma Faith. “I recently lost the closest thing to a mother I had growing up. It was easier than I thought it would be to let her go since I knew it was coming, but there was a peace with it.”