by Girard, Dara
“I’m not up to anything.”
“Oh really?” She crossed her legs and swung her foot. “Then why are you spending more and more time with Alex?”
“He’s tutoring me.”
“He cancelled twice with Gabby because he had a tutoring session with you.”
Isabella slowly zipped up her bag. “I didn’t know that.”
“Well know this.” She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “I’m not going to let you ruin a perfect plan by confusing him.”
“But I’m not —”
“Just listen. It’s real easy for a teacher to fall for his student or vice versa.” She looked at Isabella closely. “Or has my warning come too late?”
Isabella blushed. “It’s nothing.” But she knew that wasn’t true and it made her heart ache a little. She felt that she could never reveal her true feelings for Alex any more than she could compete with Gabby’s beauty.
“It’s not ‘nothing’if you have feelings for him. He’s Gabby’s fiancé.”
“I know that,” Isabella said in a tight voice.
“Then you know what you have to do.”
“No, I don’t.” Isabella sat and faced her. “What do you think I have to do?”
“You can’t see him anymore.”
The suggestion crushed her. “But he’s helping me.”
Mariella shook her head with pity. “Izzy, don’t make a fool of yourself. You’ll only make it worse. Let’s face it. It was bound to happen. You’re so…uh…you,” she said for lack of a better word. “And he’s fun and attractive and young. But it’s not what you think. It’s not real. He’s probably just being nice to you because he wants to help you. You can’t see him anymore. You have to tell him that tonight. And if you don’t,” she said in a low warning voice. “I’ll make sure to tell him and Gabby how you feel. Now you wouldn’t want that would you?”
Isabella swallowed the bitterness in her throat and said, “No.”
“Good. It’s a harmless infatuation. I’ve felt it twice in my life. You’ll get over it.” She turned to leave. “Remember to tell him tonight.”
Isabella sat on her bed ashamed of her feelings. Even more ashamed that they were so obvious to Mariella. Did Alex sense them too? Did he continue to meet with her out of pity? It was ridiculous to have a crush at her age. She walked slowly down the stairs, her hand running along the railing which was a pale imitation of the one at the main house. The one that had so much meaning to him.
Velma met her at the bottom of the stairs. “Off to another tutoring session?”
“Yes, but don’t worry,” Isabella said passing her. “It will be my last one.”
Velma followed. “Wait. Has something happened?”
Isabella opened the door. “No, I’ve just come to my senses.”
Isabella watched Alex enter the library. Mariella was wrong. She wasn’t infatuated with him. She loved him and that was ten times worse. She could no longer protect herself by remembering the boy he’d been. He was a man now, and every feminine part of her responded to that. As she sat there she wondered what he saw: a poor, plain woman five years his senior who had no education, no money…she was just a name. A Duvall. But that didn’t matter. He belonged to Gabby.
“This will be our last session,” she announced when he sat down.
He paused and stared at her as though she’d suddenly grown antlers. “Why? What happened?” He smiled. “I know I’m a few minutes late, but —”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
She smoothed out her paper not knowing what else to do with her hands. “Class is almost over anyway and thanks to you I’m doing so much better. I don’t need any more help. And there’s so much my sisters and I have to get done planning the wedding and the engagement party.”
“You don’t have to be directly involved with that.”
“Plus, you’ll get to spend more time with Gabby. I think it’s for the best.”
He stared at her, his eyes flat and cold. “Okay.”
Their last tutoring session lasted an uncomfortable hour. Then Alex said, “See you in class,” and left.
Tony was enjoying a slapstick comedy with a large bowl of popcorn when he heard the front door slam. He turned the TV off as Alex stormed into the room and tossed his bag down. “You’re home early,” he said surprised.
“She doesn’t need tutoring anymore,” Alex said in a suspiciously neutral tone.
“You’re upset about it.”
“I’m not upset about it,” he said through clenched teeth. “I have no reason to be upset. So I’m obviously not upset.”
“That’s good because that would be ridiculous.”
“I know that. I’m helping her out and if she doesn’t need my help anymore, that’s fine. It doesn’t bother me.”
“Did she give you an explanation?”
“That would have been helpful, but out of nowhere she says we don’t need to meet anymore. She wants to give me more time with Gabby.”
“How inconsiderate.”
Alex scowled. “I spend plenty of time with Gabby.”
“You haven’t recently.”
“I’ve been busy. She understands. She hasn’t complained, but suddenly my time with Gabby is everybody’s business.”
“It just doesn’t look good.”
“I don’t care how it looks.”
Tony stared at him surprised.
Alex held up a hand. “That’s not what I mean. Don’t try to imply what I think you are implying. There’s nothing going on between us. You know I am a loyal man. I made a promise to Gabby and I’ll keep it.”
Alex made a grand display of his promise to Gabby by showering her with gifts — jewelry, clothes and chocolates arrived at their house at regular intervals. One evening the sisters sat in the living room enjoying his latest present.
“He should have sent you fruit,” Mariella said as Gabby bit into a nut cluster.
“He likes me just the way I am.”
“Well, no man wants too much of a woman.”
Gabby ignored her and took another chocolate.
“You are so lucky,” Daniella said.
“Don’t worry sisters. Once we’re married I’ll get you things, too.” She handed the box to Isabella. “Go on. Try some.”
She shook her head. “They’re for you.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t share. I’ll always share everything with you.”
Mariella sent Isabella a sly look. “Well, not everything.”
Isabella glared at her then looked at Gabby. “Maybe later. After dinner.” But she didn’t come down for dinner. Instead she stayed in her room.
On the last day of class, Isabella looked at her grade then glanced around the room hoping to show Alex. But he wasn’t there. Since their final meeting, he’d started sitting at the back of the class and leaving before she could say anything to him. She left the classroom and headed for her car then saw Alex getting into his truck and called to him. “Alex.”
He turned. “Yes?”
She licked her lip then approached him. “I just wanted to thank you.” She waved her grade.
“You thanked me before.” He opened his door.
“Don’t be angry with me.”
“I’m not angry with you.”
“Then why won’t you even look at me?”
He didn’t move.
“You don’t even talk to me anymore.”
“I thought that was how you wanted it.”
“I don’t. I cancelled the tutoring because…I thought it was for the best.” When he still didn’t look at her she said, “Alex, please.”
He reluctantly turned and held out his hand. “Let me see what he gave you.”
She handed him the grade like a shy pupil. Alex looked at it and frowned. “You should have gotten an A.”
“I’ll stick with my B. I worked hard for it.”
“I can go talk —”
She sn
atched the paper away. “No, I’m happy with what I got. Besides, no one else will know but me.”
“And me.”
“Yes,” she said softly. “And you.”
He leaned against the truck, studying her. “Why did you really cancel the tutoring?”
Because I love you. “I told you why.”
He shook his head. “I know. I don’t believe you.” He jumped in his truck. “I’d better go.”
Before he closed the door Isabella said, “Friends again?”
Alex paused. “Is that what you want?”
She hesitated, unsure of his tone. “Of course.”
“Because sometimes I could…” He held out his hands as though ready to strangle someone. “But sometimes I could…” He let his hands fall then shook his head. “I don’t know.” That’s what bothered him the most. He liked to know things. He didn’t like being caught off guard; not being in control. He was usually careful with Isabella. And she’d hurt him — it was stupid, but true–he wouldn’t let her do that again.
Isabella shrugged trying to make light of his sullen mood. “I guess we don’t have to be friends. We’ll be brother and sister soon anyway.” She looked away as if something in the distance caught her attention.
Alex drummed his fingers on the steering wheel ready to leave.
She returned her gaze to his hard profile. This wasn’t the Alex she’d come to know. she touched his leg in a quick, fleeting gesture. “Alex,” she said softly, hoping to break through his hard silence.
At that moment, he bolted from the truck and slammed the door. “What do you want from me?” he asked his voice thick with rage. “Huh? What the hell do you want?
Isabella took a hasty step back shocked by his vehemence. “Nothing.”
“Then why won’t you leave me alone?” He tapped the side of his head. “You mess with my mind. Sometimes I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I hate it and sometimes I hate —” He turned to his truck, opened the door then slammed it shut again. The sound seemed to echo in the quiet evening and caused a small night creature to run for cover. He hung his head and said in a flat lifeless voice, “I’m getting married soon.”
“I know.”
He spun around and caught her gaze with his. “But do you know what that means to me? It means that I’ll finally have what I want. I’ll finally have a complete family. I’ll have someone by my side who can help me get the respect that I need. I can’t risk…” He balled his hands into a fist and glanced up at the sky as though searching for answers there. “Gabby loves the house.” His gaze fell to her face. “And you don’t.” Though he said the words as a statement they sounded like a question.
“No, I don’t.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore.”
Isabella’s voice was just above a whisper. “I do.”
“You do?”
“You want me to leave you alone.”
He looked miserable. “No, that’s not what I —”
“It’s better that way,” she said quickly. “You’re under enough stress and I have plenty of things to do myself.”
“But Izzy…” He reached for her; she moved out of his grasp.
“I’ll see you around. We’re going to both get what we’ve always wanted soon. I’m going to Europe with Mrs. Lyons and you’ll get married and that’s that. I’d better go,” she said before he could speak. “thanks for everything.” She raced to her car. When she heard Alex call out to her, she didn’t turn around. She didn’t want him to see the tears streaming down her face. She jumped in her car and sped away.
Alex leaned against his truck as though sapped of all strength. He watched her go wanting to feel relieved but instead feeling the opposite and not knowing why. He glanced down at the paper that had fallen from her hand and stared at her final grade until everything seemed to blur together. He carefully folded the paper, stuffed it in his shirt pocket then drove home.
Days later, Isabella stayed in her room trying not to think of Alex, but failing. She heard a soft knock on her door then Gabby entered. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.”
Gabby sat on the bed, her intelligent eyes searching Isabella’s face. “Are you sure?”
Isabella drew her knees to her chest, she didn’t want to lie to her sister, but knew she couldn’t tell her the truth. “Well, to be honest, I still worry about what will happen to us.”
“But you don’t have to.”
“I doubt Alex will want all of us to live with you.”
“Why not? There’s plenty of room and we all get on so well. It will be wonderful, Izzy. I’ve told Alex about our debts and he’s promised to help us once we’re family. And Izzy, you and I can work on the house and make it what we want it to be.”
Isabella walked over to the window and stared out at the house in the distance. “I don’t want to stay there.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t.” She gripped her hands into fists cocooned in her own misery. “I have to get away.”
Gabby came up behind her and rested her hands on her shoulders. “You’ll get your chance. Trust me. You’ll get everything you want.”
Isabella turned to her and forced a smile. “Thank you.”
Gabby soon left and Isabella buried herself under the covers. She hated herself for her feelings. Alex had achieved nearly all of his dreams and she hadn’t achieved any. She remembered when she was fifteen she’d once bragged that one day she’d move away and travel the world, and yet, she was still here.
She hated herself even more when she lingered on the memory of his smiles, his humor, intelligence and the light that entered his dark eyes when he teased her. Even though the class had ended, her feelings for him continued. She remembered the touch of his hand against hers, the subtle scent of his cologne and the way he spoke about the house. She shouldn’t feel this way. He was engaged to her sister; her dear sweet sister who deserved better than her jealousy.
As the engagement party grew closer, Isabella fought a violent battle with her emotions. She was determined to show joy she didn’t feel, smile when she wanted to weep and laugh when she wanted to scream. She endured Gabby and Velma’s excited plans for the house and the wedding, wishing she could be somewhere far away.
Chapter 13
Isabella never thought she would be glad to be in Mrs. Lyons’s company, but she was eager to get away from all the engagement and wedding preparations. And with Alex’s help, she had amazed Mrs. Lyons on a number of occasions with her now extensive knowledge of antiques. So it was no surprise when, while Isabella sat playing the piano, Mrs. Lyons said, “I’ve decided to take a companion with me on my travels this year.”
Isabella kept her fingers smooth over the keys as her heart began to race. At last her dream would be coming true. She could finally escape. “Really?”
“I don’t usually take someone with me besides Ms. Timmons, but I thought about this carefully.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“So I’d like you to know that I’ve decided to take Daniella with me.”
Isabella’s heart cracked; she felt as though her throat would close and choke her, but she managed to say, “Daniella?”
“Yes, and because she would need a companion of her own I thought I would also take someone else.”
Her heart began to heal. Of course she would take someone else. She knew Mrs. Lyons wouldn’t let her down. “Yes?”
“I’m also planning to take Sophia.”
Isabella bit her lip to keep from crying. She missed a note and Nicodemus nudged her and meowed in protest. She focused on the piano keys though they had become blurry.
“I think those two young women will be wonderful on the journey I’ve planned.”
“Oh, I see.” Isabella moved her hands over the keys feeling no connection.
“I know you probably had your heart set on going, but I’
m sure you can wait until next year.”
Isabella continued to play.
“Your sister wasn’t sure you would approve. She hasn’t said yes yet. I hope you can convince her and tell her what a wonderful opportunity this will be for her and her friend.”
Isabella gave a curt nod.
“Good. I knew you were a sensible girl. Now play me something fast and light. I’m in the mood for Chopin.”
When the day ended, Isabella went straight home ready to disappear into her bedroom, but Daniella met her at the front door, anxious. “She told you, didn’t she?”
Isabella shut the door with a snap, but kept her tone light. “I would have preferred hearing it from you.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you and I thought it would be better coming from her.”
“Oh.” She pushed past her sister and went up the stairs, pleased by how she had maintained her composure although inside she wanted to scream.
“I won’t go.”
Isabella stopped at the top of the stairs, welcoming the solid railing as needed support, and turned. “Of course you’ll go. You’ll go with Sophia and have a marvelous time. There’s no reason for two of us to be stuck here feeling miserable. And you know what? You have to go because even if you didn’t she wouldn’t take me anyway.”
Tears streamed down Daniella’s cheeks.
Her tone softened. “There’s no reason to cry.”
“But it’s so unfair, isn’t it? You’re the good one.”
The good one. She didn’t feel good. For one wild moment she hated her sisters. She hated Gabby for winning Alex and hated Daniella for winning Mrs. Lyons, but the feeling soon passed and settled into a deep resigned sadness. She looked at her youngest sister and noticed a subtle change. She dressed more fashionably now and always made sure her hair was carefully styled. Sophia had made a strong impression. A trip to Europe would add a cosmopolitan polish that their mother would have wanted for them. “Promise me you’ll write from every country you visit.”
“Mrs. Lyons wants to leave before Gabby’s wedding. She said she’d planned her trip long before they’d planned their nuptials.”
“I’ll take pictures.”
Daniella ascended the stairs and hugged her. “I love you, Izzy, and don’t worry, with Gabby marrying Alex we’ll all be happy soon.”