Hundred to One

by Freya Barker

  He’s telling me he can still control me − still does control me so now I know it's him. He’s the only person who has a reason to send a message like that. The one person who knows the kind of horrible memories that would bring out of me, but how? I don't get it.

  Seb is so kind, taking care of me and trying to watch out for me, but I'm afraid what could happen to him. I'm frankly scared of what he would do if he found out. He has his own dark history he’s been working hard to make a clean break from, and I don't want to be responsible for pulling him back there. Why now? Just when I'm ready to let go of some of the anger I carry around, something else has to happen to me?

  The devil always shits on the same heap…

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  At some point I must have fallen asleep wrapped in the comfort of Seb's arms, but the ringing of a phone somewhere wakes me up.

  I can feel Seb sliding out of bed, leaving me cold but with a perfect view of the colorful ink that covers almost every exposed part of his skin - legs included. I don't get a good look 'cause my eyes won't open all the way yet and I’m quite distracted by the flex of his ass as he disappears into the bathroom where he left his jeans earlier. Must be his phone. Turning over, I try to snuggle back under the covers and close my eyes but it isn't the same without him. Sleep won't come and after a frustrating ten minutes or so of shifting around, I need to get up to pee. I check the bathroom which is empty, meaning he must have taken the call somewhere else. I do my business and check my watch on the counter. Already 4:30 am. Might as well get up, throw something on and try to get an early start.

  There is no sign of Seb when I get to the kitchen and I start my morning routine of getting coffee going and pulling a few slices of bread out of the freezer for toast. I sit at the kitchen table waiting for my coffee, thinking about my appointment with the DA at the County Sheriff's Office in the afternoon. I wonder who will be conducting the interview? Part of me hopes the details around my assault won't come up, but I know I'm kidding myself. After today that will all likely be public record.

  Suddenly feeling a need to have Seb close by, I go looking and find him on the deck with his back toward me, still on the phone.

  "I know, Faith, I miss you too."

  I am about to turn back in the house when I hear him say that and I freeze on the spot, unable to move or breathe.

  "Can't wait to see you either, Pumpkin. Love you."

  When I hear those words in his deep rumble directed at someone else, something snaps in me and I haul ass. In my ratty old sweatpants, old college t-shirt and bare feet, I hoof through the house, snatching up my keys from the kitchen table and run out the front door, never looking back once. I can hear Seb calling out for me but I'm not willing to hear him or stop. Once in my truck, I peel out of the drive and down the road, my first instinct to head for the diner but I know that's the first place he'll look. All I know is I need to get away. I have tears running down my face and I can feel the hysteria building, but when I slow down for the turn at the end of the road, a truck cuts in front of me and forces me to steer into the curb. When my engine sputters and dies, I fall apart completely and hang onto the steering wheel, sobbing uncontrollably. The knocking on my driver's side window barely registers and not even when the door is ripped open do I move. I feel as if I’m being ripped open, as if the tight control that has held me together for so long has disintegrated in an instant and my insides are pouring out. This was the drop that overflowed my bucket.

  I have no energy for anything other than the purging of misery and when strong arms pick me up and pull me out of my truck, I don't even care anymore. I’m just too damn tired to fight, and way too broken to save.

  When I hear the sharp intake of breath behind me just as I’m saying goodbye to Faith, who had had another one of her nightmares, I realize instantly I should have told Arlene about her a long time ago, but it’s too late now because after all that woman has been through, I have just added to her pain. Fuck me!

  I can't catch up with her before she gets to her truck and she is not stopping, but I box her in at the end of the road. What I see when I get to the cab of her truck concerns me. Draped over her steering wheel, it seems to be the only thing holding her up. An agonizing wailing filters through the windows and her whole body seems to be shaking. Unable to get her attention with knocking, I open the door, but when she still doesn't respond to my voice or any sound for that matter, I reach in and pull her out. She falls into my arms without any resistance and I carry her to my truck where I buckle her in. Without thinking, I make the decision to take her straight to the ER in Cortez. When she calms down, she’ll likely be furious, but I have never seen someone go off the deep end like this and knowing what I now know about the shit she's experienced and the stress that still puts her under, I'm not taking any chances. I don't give a fuck that neither of us are wearing shoes and I have no shirt on.

  Thank God the first face I see when I carry Arlene through the sliding doors of the emergency room is that of Naomi Waters, ER physician and a recent friend of Emma and Arlene's. She rushes over when she sees me carrying Arlene and calls for a clear bed over her shoulder.

  "Tell me what happened?" She wants to know and as briefly as possible, I outline the stress she's been under and the finding of the dead cat yesterday afternoon on her porch, followed by a misunderstood phone call she overheard.

  "She took off and I had to race after her. When I stopped her, her truck stalled and I found her much like this, slumped over in her truck. I came straight here, thinking she's finally reached her limit."

  "Put her down here on the bed, Seb. Check with the nurse at the station outside for some scrubs and booties so you don't catch anything. You have cuts on your feet. Once I've had a chance to look her over, I'll come check those out. Sit tight."

  Knowing the drill after the last few months, I do as she tells me. Once dressed and with my feet covered, I sit down in the waiting area and call Gus' cell phone. He answers right away, despite the fact it’s 5 am.

  "Talk to me."

  "Arlene had a bit of a breakdown so I brought her to the hospital. Naomi is checking on her now. We left the house in a hurry and I didn't lock anything or turn anything off. Could you check?"

  "We'll do that on our way in."

  "Actually… I'm thinking maybe hold off on coming in. If there is something serious to report, I'll call."

  A grunt from the other end makes it clear Gus is not in line with my thinking.

  "You've met my woman, right Seb? That is not something that will go over well. That is her best friend you are talking about." A bit of a scuffle later I have Emma on the phone. "Who are you to tell me I can't see her?"

  "Whoa, slow down, Ems. I want to give her some breathing room. She’s opened up to me a little the last few days and I'm not about to have her shut the door again because she feels crowded. Too much crap is happening to her at once and I’m scared it’s going to break her if we push her too much."

  "I'm trusting you to call me the minute you know something, buddy!" A very pissed off Emma slams the phone down, still not happy with my request but obviously on board - for now.

  I lean my head back, close my eyes and try to let the tension go from my shoulders. What a cluster fuck.

  It is almost noon on Tuesday by the time we are on our way to Arlene's house. When Dr. Waters insisted she avoid work for at least the next 48 hours to rest up or face hospitalization for a few days, Arlene stopped arguing long enough to get in the truck where she begins to start in on me; wanting to know why I took her to the ER in the first place when she'd only had a small crying fit. Right. I am not responding to her tantrum and it just seems to infuriate her more.

  "I can't believe you had Beth and Julie open the diner for lunch! There's no cook - Hello! Don't know why the hell you think you need to stay with me and hold my hand. You should have just opened yourself. They'll never be able to manage like this."

  I sigh, having been through this argume
nt at least once before. The medication they gave her was supposed to level her mood, but it seems to me it only brings out the stubborn and contrary side of her. Have to admit though, I like seeing this side of her better than the broken, whimpering shell of a woman I was holding in my arms earlier. That shit tore me up, especially since I feel responsible for her breakdown, or I was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back. I’ve called Joe and asked him to postpone the appointment with the Prosecutor's Office to a date later in the week and plan to keep things calm and quiet for today as best I can, but there is one thing that has to be cleared up right away. I can't have her thinking there is someone else.

  As for the rest, after today I can't postpone this anymore. No more distractions and evasions. Things are too damn volatile and shaky and she needs to hear the whole truth from me before something else happens. I'll just have to deal with the consequences.

  Putting my hand on Arlene's leg as we take the turn off to Cedar Tree, I try to reassure her once again.

  "Emma will help with the cooking and she roped Caleb into helping as well. Stop worrying and let it go. It'll be fine."

  With a derisive snort, she folds her arms and pointedly looks out the side window. The way her breasts squeeze together and lift has my cock stirring awake after the shock of seeing Arlene come undone left it virtually useless. Not the right time, but thank God for that sign of life! Shouldn't be surprised, though. I figure this woman could get any kind of rise out of me, alive or dead.

  True to his word, Gus had been by and turned off the coffee pot and lights, and even managed to get Arlene's truck we had left half on the curb down the road back into the driveway. Still pouting, Arlene makes her way into her bedroom and I let her go, giving her some room while I figure out how to broach the issue of my past and how it is connected with hers.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I wake up with a warm body wrapped around me and have a sense of déjà vu. This time it isn't the ringing of a phone that wakes me up though, but the gentle nipping of lips and teeth at my neck and shoulder while a large hand simply holds one of my breasts cupped in his hand.

  "Almost three o’clock, Spot. You slept a hole in the afternoon." The sound of Seb's voice rumbles against my ear and I let the full-body experience of him settle under my skin. This feels so damn good. I don't have it in me to stay difficult when this man makes me feel so languid and safe with his sound, his smell, and his touch.

  Turning around to face him, I run my hand through his hair that always seems to look disheveled.

  "Who is she?"

  From the pained look in his eyes, I realize this might not be an easy question, or answer, for either of us.

  He drops his eyes when he starts talking, as if he’s afraid to see my reaction.

  "Her name is Faith and she’s my sister. My little sister." The tight band around my chest relaxes a little when I hear him say that, but the anguish in his eyes I find myself looking into when he lifts his gaze cuts me to the core. "Our childhood wasn't great. Dad drank and took it out on our mother and later on me. When I got too big for him to overpower easily, he tried to go after Faith, but I made sure I was always around, except one day I wasn't and he managed to beat her half to death in a drunken rage. She was only eight and I did nothing." He turns away from the hand I stretch out to him, and rolls into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

  "How old were you?" I ask him gently, knowing he couldn’t have been more than a child himself.

  "Old enough to know I should've gone to the police, but I didn't. I trusted my mother who promised to take care of Faith and get us out. She never did."

  "How old, Seb?"

  "Twelve. Twelve fucking years old. Four years older and I had promised to take care of her, make sure he wouldn't touch her. I promised her I'd take her with me when I found a job so we could leave. I promised her that and now, she will never have a normal life. No husband, no kids, no dancing. All she has is nightmares that have her wake up in terror almost nightly."

  I crawl through the bed and mold myself around his back. Not saying anything, I just wrap my legs and arms around him, trying to anchor him… or something. He shivers before grabbing hold of one of my hands and bringing it to his lips. The kiss he presses to my palm sends tingles up my arm and buzzes my body into a different kind of awareness. I wrestle my way under his arm, trying to climb onto his lap to face him, but I’ve obviously forgotten I’m not as limber as I used to be. As I’m sliding my ass around, trying to hang onto his shoulders for purchase, I slip and my cranky old body hits the floor before Seb has a chance to grab hold of me.

  "Jesus, woman!" He blurts out, shocked. All I can do is laugh. My ass is gonna be bruised and so is my ego, and that leaves only one thing to do - laugh. Seb looks at me as if I've finally taken that last step around the bend, and that makes me laugh even harder as tears run down my face now and my stomach starts to ache.

  "S-so much f-for my seduction technique… Did I turn you on, Seb?" Overtaken by a new fit of hilarity, I roll back onto the floor and curl up, holding my stomach as I laugh and cry even harder.

  "You're a nut." Seb's eyes appear in my line of blurry vision as he lays down on the floor beside me, humor shining in them. He strokes the stray hairs off my face and wipes at the tears coursing down my cheeks. The instant he touches me I calm down until all that is left is a smile on my face. I take in his gorgeous dark eyes and see to my satisfaction that the pain that was there before has been replaced with warm amusement and something hotter.

  "I wanted to make you feel better. Hell, maybe even myself, but this wasn't exactly the way I had it planned." I admit, seeing the lines by his eyes deepen but he doesn't say anything, so I decide to push a little.

  "I want to feel better. No. I need to feel better, Seb. Please?" Sitting up I lift my shirt over my head and drop it on the floor beside me. Seb's eyes follow every move I make, but still he doesn't move from his spot on the floor. I reach behind me and undo my ugly-ass bra and when that slides down my arms and exposes my somewhat pendulous breasts, I can see I have a reaction. I feel horribly exposed and unsure, but I don't doubt that Seb cares and by the look of his darkening eyes and the flare of his nostrils, he doesn't mind the losing battle with gravity and the bit of extra flab one bit. In a flash he’s up, has me off the floor and on my back on the bed, hovering over me, looking me up and down before locking on my eyes.

  "Fucking shivers. The smallest things you do turn me on, but seeing you like this - Shivers." Bending his head he kisses my mouth, over my cheek to my jaw and down my neck where he opens his mouth and allows his tongue to drag over my skin. All along my upper chest from clavicle to clavicle leaving a wet trail, never allowing his mouth to leave my skin, mapping every inch with his lips and tongue. Slowly tracing his way up and down the slope of my breasts to the tight peaks where he latches on and sucks me deep into the recesses of his hot mouth. Such a drawn out delicious torture. My body is squirming restlessly and I can feel the arousal seeping from my pussy.

  Where does he find the patience? My hands are frantically running along the muscles right under his skin and I can feel the rippling tension so tightly controlled in him. Realizing he is being careful for my sake, I am determined to take this to the next level. I manage to wiggle out of my panties and get to work on his jeans, only to find him commando underneath. One less thing to worry about. Pulling him free he grabs hold of my hand around his cock.

  "Slow down, Spot. No rush." His words say one thing, but his eyes are boiling, so making use of the fact he has less leverage with only one hand holding him down, I push off with both legs and manage to flip him on his back. Quickly straddling him, I run my hands under his shirt and pull it up.

  "My turn… Up." With a tiny smirk on his face, Seb complies and raises his arms, allowing me to take off his shirt. Then I move down his chest, tracing the gorgeous artwork laid out in front of me. I can't resist putting my teeth into his pecs to test for firmness and from the growl I
receive, he doesn't mind that at all. A bit of turnabout play with his nipples and I am sliding down his body, making sure his rock hard erection is caught between my tits as I squeeze them together with my arms. Pressing my forehead down on his abdomen, I can just catch the tip of his cock with my tongue and I get my first taste of Seb's rich flavor.

  "Fucking hell. Stop, Arlene. I'm gonna come if you don't stop." His fingers clench in my hair and I stop, only because I want him inside of me. I want to feel him deep when he comes.

  Sitting up, I slide my wet core over his straining dick and ease myself down. When I find his eyes, they are burning with heat and his hands are flexing on my hips, telling of the restraint he is putting on himself. I lean toward his mouth, never losing eye contact and kiss him with all the feelings I have bubbling inside of me before dropping myself down the last inch or so.

  "Ohh…" The feeling is indescribable. I am in total control. I am filled and stretched by a kind and beautiful man who moves me, and I chose to be here. I chose to be naked, I chose to take him inside my body. When I look at Seb, I can see the understanding in his eyes and it makes me tear up. Slowly his hands start stroking up my back in gentle motions, setting a rhythm for me to follow without forcing my body. I put my hands on his chest and tentatively set my moves to the tempo as he strokes. It doesn't take long for my body to start bucking in a disconnected race for some grand finale. Eyes closed in my strain to reach that elusive peak, I can hear Seb's breathing grow more erratic beneath me - struggling not to take over. Frustrated with myself and needing him to be more assertive, I know I have to ask.

  "Please… I can't… Take over. Take me there. Please, Seb."

  Seb sits up. "Wrap your legs around my waist, Spot." When I do as he says, he pulls himself up on his knees, still inside me, and while he stays sitting on his knees, he lowers me down on my back. He pulls my legs loose behind him and pulls my ass up as he rises up on his knees, keeping himself embedded inside of me.