by Dani Stowe
“No,” she smirks.
I’m so fucking frustrated, I want to punch something, but I scratch my head instead. “Then why can’t you commit to me, Camilla?”
She starts crying. She’s really crying this time and I reach to grab her hand, but she smacks it.
“Goddamn it, woman! I know it’s the age thing. Just tell me you fucking love me! But if you can’t do that, then just tell me you’ll commit to be here for me. Just tell me you’ll wait for me and we can keep working at this when I get back.”
Camilla pauses and pulls up the covers to wipe her face with it. “Gunner, you’re so young, but you’re right. You’re always right because you really are a smart guy.” She takes a breath and looks me in the eyes. “It is the age thing. I watched you with Buckler and her kid today; you deserve that. You deserve to have a family like that—one you can grow with and—”
“Fuck them, too!” I snap. “I want you.”
“Gunner, please,” she begs and her whining is getting annoying.
“Commit to me,” I say.
“I can’t commit to you, Gunner, I’ve already committed to—” she pauses.
“To what?” I ask and I’m a little worried.
“To a future that isn’t fair to you. You’re about to go out into the world and do these big and amazing things. I know; I’ve been there. But I want to knit and sew and bake cookies and do ‘old lady things’ like Buckler says. I hate to break it to you, Gunner, but I want to be with someone who wants to enjoy those things, too.”
I pause. It always turned me on when I knew I was fucking the commander, but I’m just as turned on knowing she’ll be baking because she wants to.
I smile. “I’d be happy to do those things with you.”
“Gunner,” she grumbles as she rolls her eyes.
“Commit to me,” I say, “and if you want to bake cookies after this, that’s great.” I reach under the sheets to massage between her legs. “I’ll be happy to eat your cookies,” I joke.
Her breath quivers as she inhales deeply with my hand between her legs.
“I just can’t,” she says and I’m tired of this he said-she said game.
I pull her legs and get between them and then I grab a couple of pillows once more and prop them under her ass.
“What are you doing?” she questions as if she doesn’t know and tries to pull a pillow out, but I pin her hand back.
“Commit to me,” I say. “Tell me you’ll commit so I can eat your damn cookie and make you come again. If you don’t, well...”
I take Camilla’s nipple into my mouth and she gasps. I roll my head as my mouth devours her breast and I slide my fingers along the slit of her pussy folds. I nibble at her nipple and then stop to ask her, “Do you want me to eat your cookie?”
She bites her lip.
I flick at her clit. “Does this make your oven hot?”
“Yeah,” she mutters.
I stop and rise up on my knees as I fix the pillows under her ass once more. I feel like a devil as she watches me and I just smile. It makes her face hot and I see her eyes get beady again.
“You think you’re such a Badass, don’t you?” she smirks.
“That’s my last name,” I affirm.
“Well, you’re not,” she says. “You’re just like every other punk kid that joins the Army. You think it’s your opportunity to fuck shit up and you’ll be glorified for it. You sign up and think you can rule the world with all your cocky mayhem and call that happiness. Do you really think if you fuck me enough I’ll miraculously fall in love with you and eventually commit to you somehow?”
I look down at Camilla’s dripping wet pussy. That tight, tiny thing is so ready to hug me. I’m sure it will miss me. I’m sure if her pussy could speak it would commit.
“Yep,” I say as I slide my long, hard, cocky mayhem into Camilla making her moan. “I sure do.”
Chapter 4
I don’t know where Camilla is; she left me in bed this morning at 5 a.m. and she’s not answering her cell. I walk into her office and it’s empty. In the last four hours, she’s managed to clean out her office, which didn’t have much to begin with, and she’s disappeared.
I call her cell again when Specialist Mick Harris walks in. He’s another grunt and a good buddy who happens to look a lot like my older brother with blonde hair and green eyes. “Hey man. Did you hear? We finally got orders to deploy. I feel like we’ve been on alert forever. Did you know we’ve been on standby for the last year?”
“Yeah, I heard,” I say as I head over to my computer to check Camilla’s schedule—it’s blank.
“Too bad for the commander,” says Harris, peeking over my shoulder.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Commander Mandelay had some family emergency. She had to leave the country. Dude, you should know! You’re her driver!”
“I didn’t know,” I confess. I sit down in my chair and consider what he is saying is true. I don’t know why Camilla wouldn’t tell me, but I am hoping she’s on a plane to wherever it is her family is located and that’s the reason she can’t answer her phone.
I also realize Camilla is right. We don’t talk. I have no idea where her family or her roots are located. I just know she speaks Spanish, but she’s only half Latina.
“There’s a pool floating around; it’s already up to a hundred dollars,” says Harris. “Buckler thinks the commander has a husband that she’s trying to bring back to the States, who she met in the Philippines when she was on duty there two years ago. Buckler says the commander used to have pictures of herself with the guy all over social media, which she took down last year when she found out he was over ten years younger than her. Apparently, he lied about his age, but the guy still posts love notes here and there for her online. Buckler thinks Mandelay is a cougar—she likes ‘em young. Buckler says she’s even caught the commander eyeing you up a few times.”
Cougar. I shake my head. Surely, I’m not so naïve to have fallen for a woman that only dates younger men. I really thought I was the exception.
“Somebody else mentioned the commander has been taken into custody for leaking military information to foreign sources. That’s the angle I’m betting on,” says Harris, “because there’s no way the Army would let a Battalion Commander simply quit right before a deployment. Not to mention, she just disappeared in less than a day. I bet she’s being interrogated right now and the family emergency theory is a cover-up.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I laugh.
“No, it’s not! Think about it. The woman always keeps her office door shut. She’s so secretive and lives out in the boonies. Not to mention, she disappears for an hour at time on any given day.”
I try to keep a straight face. That would be my fault.
“I’m not putting my money in the pot,” I say. “You guys are reaching too far out in left field with that theory.”
“Okay,” says Harris. “How about this? I think she’s having an affair with a senior officer. I think she’s sleeping with the general stationed here.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I smirk and remind myself of how easy it is for rumors to formulate and spread like wildfire in the military. The Lieutenant Colonel has been missing for four hours and they’re already past conspiracy theories and moved onto gambling over the issue.
“It’s not stupid,” Harris says. “I heard General Liam Spencer is quite the ladies’ man. The guy has three kids from three different women and he’s been married twice. And we all know the general has a crush on Mandelay.”
Wait a second...
“What?” I ask.
“Dude, again! You’re her driver! You should know! The general is always keeping her late after meetings and no one can understand anything they’re saying to each other because they both speak so many languages.”
“In Spanish?” I query. “Plenty of people speak Spanish.”
“Spanish...Russian...Filipino. They both speak
all that shit.”
I had no idea. Now I’m starting to feel insecure—and weak. I feel like I might actually be the dumb kid Camilla can’t commit to.
I hear my father speak in my head, “Holding the woman you love is a lot like holding a gun. She will make you feel powerful and small at the same time.”
I don’t just feel small; I feel like a dumbass when I’m supposed to be a badass.
Where the hell is she?
I thought I knew her enough to try to make a baby with her, but I’m completely clueless. She speaks four languages and I had no damn clue. I also have no clue where she is. It looks like she’s disappeared on purpose; worse, it feels like she purposely left. For all I know, she’s been fucking around with guys young and old and I’d never know it.
Not to mention, I told her I love her and she can’t even commit to wait for me.
“Hey, man, you okay?” asks Harris.
“Yeah,” I say, “but I have another theory to add.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“I suspect she’s a cougar who’s been sleeping with one of her lower ranking and younger subordinates.”
“Dude! That’s the kind of shit that will make national Army headlines!”
“I know, right? I bet she’s being taken to a holding cell right now,” I chortle as I swivel in my chair and peer into her empty office. “I’ll tell you what,” I say to Harris as I pull out my wallet. “I’ll add a hundred dollars to the pot.”
I can see the whites of Harris’s eyes pop out of their sockets as his grin reaches both ears. “A hundred dollars! You’re willing to bet a hundred dollars that Lieutenant Colonel Mandelay, our former Battalion Commander, is a predatory cougar?”
“Yep, here’s a hundred dollars because something tells me I’m right.”
Chapter 5
It’s the last Saturday night before we leave stateside and head towards the desert. Naturally, the unit has decided to have a barbeque. We’ve been training hard for over a month in preparation for our new mission and this will be our last party before the real party begins.
I pick up a beer and take a swig, looking around at all the smiling faces. Some guys are smiling more than others—especially the ones that know they’re getting laid tonight. But we’re all having a good time, despite the thoughts at the back of our minds—what lies ahead.
I haven’t seen Camilla. I’ve driven by her house a few times. It’s been locked up tight. The grass has grown a foot tall in some places while in others it’s dried out and barren.
Sometimes I stay up at night, unable to sleep. I tell myself it’s because I’m nervous about going overseas, but I know it’s really because I’m worried about Camilla.
Maybe she was right about the age thing. How a woman like her could just up and leave a guy who’s professed his love to her and would do pretty much anything for her without any indication of her whereabouts is just insane.
I’m sure she thinks it’s because of her age; she thinks she doesn’t owe anyone anything.
I feel a tug on my pants and I look down to see my favorite kid, Carrot Top. “What’s up little man?” I ask. He gives me a high-five and I pick him up.
“He’s getting a little too old to be carried,” says Buckler and I feel her hand gently grab my ass where it settles and I look around. Luckily, no one’s watching.
“You need to remove your hand, Buckler, before someone notices. You know there’s no fraternizing allowed,” I tell her.
She pulls the kid from me and he starts to cry. The wailing makes me feel uneasy. Before the week is up, the poor kid will be without his mother for the length of an entire school year. I have to remind myself that my dad, my adoptive father, was a military man and he was a great man. I endured deployments and I’m sure the kid will turn out okay, just as I did.
“He’s getting a little too old to be crying, too. Don’t you think, Buckler?” It’s Harris.
“Shut up, asshole,” says Buckler as she huffs at him then gives me the puppy eyes and carries the kid away, who sticks a middle finger at Harris.
Harris shakes his head. “That kid is going to grow up to be a real shithead.”
“Nah,” I say. “He’ll be okay. He’ll make a good soldier one day.”
“I don’t think Buckler is ever going to give up on trying to get with you.”
I laugh. “Buckler is not my type.”
“Dude, Buckler is everybody’s type and I’m not trying to pry, but we don’t ever see you with any chicks, so...” Harris takes a breath, “Are you—”
“I like women,” I tell Harris before he gets a chance to piss me off.
Harris clears his throat. “But—”
“I like tiny, dark-haired women, with a big butt, cute nose, big eyes, and hand-sized tits.”
“Dude, I think you just described Lieutenant Colonel Camilla Mandelay.”
I gulp. “Huh, too bad she’s too old,” I say and I try to laugh it off. Luckily, Harris laughs with me.
I hang with Harris for most of the night until there are too many drunks to manage and Harris and I, plus two of our soldier buddies decide to go to Wranglers. Luckily, one of us can drive, but it’s not me. Harris didn’t have anything more than one beer, which was hours ago. He knew he would have to find a way to get to the bar even if he’d have to drive himself. It will be his, as well as the others, last effort to get laid before we head overseas.
All three of these rejects—Harris, Davis, and Morris, won’t stop ragging on me about Buckler as we head to the bar. They’re behaving like kids and it really starts to get annoying.
“Buckler is so fucking hot,” says Davis, whose hair is almost as red as the Carrot Top kid. “That chick wants you so bad. You need to fuck her,” he says to me. “Who cares if it’s against the rules?”
“Yeah, man,” says Morris, whose black and a few years older than the rest of us. He joined the Army after his first kid was born so he could afford to pay his child support. I respect the guy, but he’s just as bad as Davis who’s been dogging on me.
“If you don’t like Buckler,” blurts Morris, “then why are you always cozying up to her kid? You’re confusing the shit out of her. It only makes her want you more.”
“The kid is cool,” I say. “But Buckler doesn’t understand boundaries.”
“If that white girl was all up on me the way she’s always up on you,” Morris says turning around to look at me in the backseat, “I’d buckle that ass down and spank it until she understood boundaries…and for me—there are none,” he laughs.
Morris, Davis, and Harris all laugh and I shake my head as I look out the window.
There she is!
“Pull over!” I yell to Harris in the front seat.
“What?” Harris questions.
“Holy fuck! It’s Lieutenant Colonel Mandelay,” says Davis.
“Pull the fuck over right now!” I yell to Harris.
“What the fuck, Gunner? This is the fucking hospital,” Harris protests as he slows and swerves to the right.
“Let me out up there,” I demand and point to the roundabout where I can get out and cut her off as she walks towards the front entrance of the hospital.
“Goddamn! Gunner has been fucking the lieutenant colonel,” exclaims Morris.
Davis whines, “Does that mean he wins the pot? It’s up to $500, but I don’t think he should win because that’s cheating.”
“At least it all makes sense now.” Harris jerks the wheel to the right, stops the car, and I get out.
But before I go to chase Camilla down, I dip my head back in and stare them down. “Not a word to anybody about this.”
“No, man.” Harris nods to the other two. “None of us will say anything. I’m glad it’s been you and not the general. Go get her.”
“And don’t forget boundaries!” shouts Morris. “I guarantee with a forty-year old like that, there are none,” he says smacking his leg as if it were funny.
I roll my eyes and
can’t help but laugh with them as I shut the door.
I start walking towards her as I see them pull away. I’m trying to think what I should say as I skip to catch up with her. It’s been a month and I just want to scream in her face for being so fucking inconsiderate. She at least owes me an explanation. It doesn’t matter if I’m nineteen years younger than she is. She can’t treat a person like that.
“Camilla!” I shout from behind her.
She stops dead in her tracks. She looks really pretty from behind. She’s got on a pair of painted black and white leggings that make her ass pop with black high-heeled sandals and a loose, pink, cropped sweater. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was twenty-five.
But I try not to get distracted by the cute ass I’d like to chow down on with my teeth. I think about how tired I am. I think about how I haven’t slept in weeks, staying up late wondering about her and all that worry is turning into rage right now. I’m going to have to cuss her out. I’m going to give this bitch a piece of my mind so that she doesn’t ever try to fuck over the next guy, or enlisted grunt, or general who lands in her path. I’m so ready to drop the F-bomb on her as she turns around, but when she does turn around, not a single word comes out of my mouth.
She looks exhausted. She’s got dark circles under her eyes and her eyelids are all puffy. I didn’t realize how messy her hair was from behind, like she hasn’t brushed it in days. And she’s pale. Her face has noticeably gotten thinner, too.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Hi Gunner,” she sighs, looking at me like she knows she owes me something.
“Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick. I’ve been trying to call you. I went to your house.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” she whines and massages her temples.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I had to leave the country,” she says and looks around.
“And you couldn’t call or text or email?”
“No, actually, I couldn’t,” she sighs again.
It pisses me off. “You’re a real bitch, you know that? You can’t just fucking use people the way you do. I’ve been hearing all kinds of crazy bullshit about you and I’m starting to believe it’s all true—that you’re a cunt that sleeps with a shit ton of boys and that you’re a cougar that’s always on the prowl.”