“I don’t know how to fix him,” she whispered.
Gunther stood in front of her. “Let’s start with this. You can’t. You can only support him.”
“He used to be my rock. I desperately need him back. I can’t take much more of this.”
He grabbed her shoulders, causing Elaina to shiver. “I understand that. We need to dry him up.”
She still couldn’t believe the burden Gunther was placing on himself. “You’re genuinely concerned for him, aren’t you?” He nodded and pursed his lips. “You two have been through a lot. For you to put aside all the bullshit and fighting is huge to me. It says a lot about you as a person. How do we dry him up?”
Unsure of how to handle Elaina’s compliments, he skipped over them. “Dump his booze, of course. Where does he hide his stash?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, her gaze dropping to the floor. He placed his hands on his hips, cocked his head to the side, and quirked a brow with that annoyed “I’m trying to help you” look. She muttered under her breath, “At the general store.”
“I know exactly where that is.” Gunther stormed off to the storefront he and Josie had first run into Henry when they came to town.
Second thoughts paraded through her mind, so Elaina chased after him. “Gunther! Wait. Please, don’t. Let me talk to him first.”
Gunther continued to walk, not even turning around. “How many times have you talked to him about this?”
“I don’t know!” she yelled at his back. “Too many, I guess. But…”
He stopped suddenly and looked at her, thinking, What the fuck is wrong with her? She’s enabling him? “But what, Elaina? But what?!” Gunther yelled. “Do you want to help him or not?”
“I do, but I don’t want him to go on a rampage. You don’t know what he’s like. I hate when he rages because he hurts himself every time. The last really horrendous rage, he broke his hand, then re-broke it after another one. I’ve found him with a gun to his temple.” She sagged and her knees began to give out. “I can’t do this anymore,” she cried, her hands covering her face.
Hearing her obvious despair, Gunther rushed to her before she hit the floor. “Then we need to put a stop to it. I will take care of it, even if I have to tie him up and hold him down. Once we get him dry, maybe I can whip him back into shape. He’s gone soft in the belly.”
“Yeah, he has. He always took such pride in his physique, but he hasn’t even done a single crunch lately. I just don’t want him to be upset with me. I can’t handle that right now. I can’t lose anyone else, especially him.”
“Then pretend you have no idea what I’m doing. Let him take his anger out on me. I can handle him. You just support him.”
Turning away from Elaina, Gunther stormed to the door. She watched him push it open and disappear. “Shit.” She turned around and dragged her ass back to their room.
Opening my eyes, I found myself resting my sweaty head on the cool tile floor in the loo. Unsure about how I got from Point A to Point B, I was praying to the porcelain god that my epic “vomit-fest” would end soon. There was nothing left to give. How many times would my body do the evacuation dance before it would say, “Oh, yeah, you’re empty”?
My gauge read empty. Nada. Zero. Finished. Fucking beyond E.
Being a clean freak, the toilet, along with everything else, was spotless at all times; otherwise, I would have never rested against it.
In contemplation, I lay on floor for a few minutes. I felt like I was destroying everything…myself and Elaina included. I loved her more than anything and there I was, killing her right along with me. My pain was turning into her pain, and the abuse I induced upon myself was also abusing her.
“Fuck me,” I mumbled. Lifting my head, I rubbed my forehead with my arm.
The door to our room opened, then another wave of belly-clenching fun hit. Let the heaving commence.
“Henry?” Squinting, trying to shut out the light and focus on one Elaina at a time, I looked up at her in the doorway. She had a bottle of water in one hand. Or maybe it was three. I couldn’t be too sure. “Hey, lover.”
“Hey…,” I choked out. “How did I get to our room? I was…” I coughed.
“You stumbled in and lay down.”
“I did? I thought…” I looked down at my nearly naked, puffy body, disgusted at what I saw. “And I stripped?”
“Yeah. That looks to be the case.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, wiping the excessive drool off of my lips with the back of my hand, unsure of why I was apologizing. I didn’t deserve her forgiveness.
“Gunther found Silas…just in case you were wondering.”
“Huh?”
“Silas went missing, remember? Josie told you.”
“Shit. Right.” How could I have forgotten something so important?
“He’s fine…in case you were curious.”
The inflection in her voice told me she was pissed, but hurt at the same time. “That’s good,” I mumbled in relief.
“It’s going to be okay, lover.”
Despite Elaina’s words, the devastation rolled off of her. Shaking my head, I crawled over to her and she ran her fingers through my dirty hair. The emotions were becoming too cumbersome for me to contain.
It was me who was killing everything we had. Pressing my face to her jeaned thighs, I mumbled, “I need to clean up my act, don’t I?”
“Yeah. Yeah, you do. You can’t lead like this. And we can’t continue on this path of self-destruction because you aren’t just destroying you. You’re destroying me. But worst of all, you’re destroying us.”
“I know. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m struggling. I’m an alcoholic. I need help, Elaina, but I have no idea where to find it or how to go about it.” And then the floodgates opened.
“I know, lover, and yes, you are an alcoholic. But I’m going to help you, okay? We all are going to help you through this.”
My forehead rubbed against her thigh as I nodded. She lifted my face to hers. From her despondent facial expression, she reflected that what was overwhelming me was invading her soul.
I didn’t want her to have a sense of loss, but it was inevitable. She grabbed me and held me close. “We will beat this together. I’m going to help you every step of the way. I’ve been waiting for you to come to this moment. To understand you need to change. This behavior will kill you and I don’t want to see you succumb to it. You are so much more than you believe, Henry. I wish you could see that.”
This was a task bigger than life and I wasn’t sure she was strong enough to take it on. I wrecked her spirit, crushed her dreams, and made her feel hatred.
I wrapped my arms around her and, collapsing into her, I fucking cried at great length about everything that had affected all of us…Elaina, me, Nick, Claire, Willow, Sophie, everybody. My meltdowns usually consisted of some sort of violent outburst, but this was emotional turmoil.
Once the emotions drained from me and exhaustion riddled my entire being, Elaina helped drag my trembling body back to bed. She knelt next to me, brushing away the few stray hairs clinging to my sweaty forehead.
“Are you okay, lover?”
“Yeah, just… I don’t know,” I groaned as I rolled onto my side, wrapping my arms around my gut as it twisted.
Running her fingers over the dark edges of my tribal wing tattoo, she murmured, “You need to sleep off some of this. I’m going to leave you to rest. I’ll come back to check on you in a while, okay?”
Acknowledging her with a moan, I felt like road kill and had no desire to chat anymore. Nor did I want to make her feel like she had to hover over me like I was a sick child. Elaina set the bottle of water next to our bed. I thanked her quietly, my eyelids deciding they had no more strength to stay open. Before she even made it to a standing position, the blackness sucked me in.
The soft snore coming from Henry made Elaina smile. She missed the little things about him. His genuine smile, laughter, strength, and c
alm demeanor… All the things she thought she understood about him before the world fell apart. He had such a good nature, but he was lost within a nightmare that made him who he truly was.
Being physically, mentally, and emotionally tired, she didn’t want to deal with his pressing issues anymore, but she loved him with everything she had. She was torn between her feelings for him and what she wanted out of her own miserable life.
After she lowered herself into the chair next to the bed, she pressed her elbows to her knees, chewing her thumbnail. Watching him sleep for a bit, she contemplated what she needed to do to help him. Things felt bleak. With no resolution in mind, Elaina sat back and rubbed her face for a moment before deciding to leave the room.
Using both hands, Gunther threw the side door of the school open. He grumbled over Henry’s drunkenness, and Cora’s inability to see he loved Silas and was trying to step in as the father figure he and his two sisters needed.
He stormed off to the storefront and yanked the door open with fury, making it scream against its hinges. After looking around, he figured all the booze had to be in the back room. He pushed open that door and on the shelves, waiting and taunting, was a decent supply.
It was bizarre. They were all organized by type, size, and bottle shape. Perfect rows displayed for the abuser. There were several empty bottles in boxes stacked on the floor.
“Bloody hell. He has been drinking a lot more than I suspected,” Gunther muttered.
He grabbed several bottles at a time, went out the back door, and began the daunting process of pouring out each bottle—deciding to keep all the vodka. They could use it to sterilize wounds, if necessary. Gunther cringed as he poured out some exorbitant priced scotches, along with bottles of wine that would make any sommelier cry.
Once he finished pouring out everything, he grabbed the bottles of vodka. When he turned around, Thomas was right behind him. Gunther jerked back with a gasp. “Shit, mate. You startled me,” he said as he strode past.
Thomas’ eyes were fixed on the bottles in his hands. “What’re you doin’?”
“I’m locking the vodka up so Henry doesn’t drink it. We could use it to sterilize wounds and such.”
“Oh.”
Thomas and Gunther made their way to his truck. “Listen,” Gunther lowered his voice, “pretend you don’t see what I’m doing. I’m trying to help Henry. He’s an alcoholic.” He set all the bottles in the back.
“I know. Elaina’s been tryin’ to get him cleaned up for months.” Thomas looked down at his shoes, his face flushed. “He has done a lot for me, considerin’ I nearly made him true dead. I want to see him well.”
“Well, consider me an ally in both corners.” Gunther hit the fob, locking the truck. “Now, let’s go get some food. I promised my woman a dinner date.” In awkward silence, Thomas and Gunther headed back into the school and down to the cafeteria.
Quinn was waiting for him, smiling when he walked in. He strolled up to her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. A small groan escaped him, thinking of how she strutted away from him earlier in the day. Grabbing her ass, he couldn’t wait to get her back to their room.
“Are you hungry, Thomas?” Quinn asked.
Thomas who? Oh, right, Gunther thought, forgetting they weren’t alone. He turned to look over his shoulder.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Well, sit and I’ll bring you something.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” As she hurried off to the pantry, Thomas sat at the table Quinn had set up for her and Gunther.
Gunther felt like he needed to make small talk for some reason. Maybe it was because Thomas was staring at him. “The last place we stayed had a fireplace, so we heated up a lot of stuff that way. I miss that,” he murmured. His mouth watered thinking about hot canned soup. It made him chuckle a little. He loved fine cuisine, but he was happy to eat anything at that point.
“Yeah. I’d love a big bowl of mashed potatoes with bacon and cheese on ’em. Lots of pepper, too. I love it like that.” Thomas turned and stared out the window while they chatted.
“That sounds good. Frankly, anything hot sounds good.”
Quinn came back out with a handful of random items, setting a can of mushy fruit cocktail, a small bag of unsalted peanuts, a pack of cheese crackers, and a bottle of water in front of Thomas. “Okay, well… It’s not a five-star meal, but this should hold you over until morning.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Thomas murmured as he dug right into the fruit. Gunther watched him in amazement as he picked out every peach first, then the pears.
“Once we get some veggies growing in the garden, we should be able to have a little more of a proper meal,” Quinn said with a sigh, sitting. She seemed fatigued, which worried him a bit.
“Feeling all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. Just a little tired.”
Gunther slid his hand under the table, placing it high on her inner thigh. She squirmed when she felt it slide further up, toward her heat. She cleared her throat, making him smirk.
“So, Thomas,” Gunther said. “Tell us about yourself.” He was genuinely curious. Distracted, but curious.
“There ain’t much to tell. Not sure what day it is, but my birthday is in late November. I will be fifteen.”
“I presume we are well past that. Where are you from?” Quinn asked.
“Farm country in New York.”
“Oh, nice!” Quinn’s voice always went a little high when she was happy, making Gunther smile. “So you will be helpful with gardening then?”
“Think so.” Thomas shrugged, then grew quiet before he spoke again. “I helped my mom with ours all the time.”
“Well, that’s perfect then.” Quinn smiled at Thomas, who blushed.
Cora walked into the cafeteria, Callie in her arms. Kate had a firm grip on Silas’ hand, but he broke free and ran to Gunther. He rose from his seat and knelt, waiting for Silas to wrap his arms around his neck.
“Mr. Gunther!” he screeched.
“Hey there, you little cheeky monkey. I’m so happy to see you.” Silas put a big smile on Gunther’s face. “Are you being good for your mum? Listening to her?”
Standing tall and with a nod of his head, Silas said, “Yes, sir.” His pride in himself was unmistakable.
Then Gunther’s tone changed to something more serious. “Good. You have to listen to everything she tells you. She knows what’s best for you.”
“Yes, sir. I promise.”
Gunther pinched Silas’ nose, causing him to giggle. “All right, buddy. Back to your mum.”
Standing about ten feet away, Cora was expressionless. Silas turned around and ran back to her. As Gunther stood, he nodded at her, knowing she heard everything he said. Cora looked away without acknowledgment.
“Come on, guys. Let’s get some food.” She ushered them into the pantry.
“She’s still upset with me,” Gunther muttered to Quinn as he sat back down, rubbing the cheek Cora had slapped earlier in the day.
“I don’t know what to do about it,” Quinn said.
With a worn ball cap pulled down over his eyes, Nick walked into the cafeteria, carrying his guitar. He sat in a chair in the back, far away from everyone.
“My heart breaks for him.” Gunther nodded. “He’s so distant and spends most of his time locked up in his room.”
“He really loved her.” Thomas had an air of sadness in his voice. “I liked her. She was nice to me. Someday, I hope to love someone like he did her.”
Playing the maternal role well, Quinn said, “You will, Thomas. It will be harder to find a date nowadays, but you never know what will happen.” When she winked at him, a shade of red bloomed on Thomas’ cheeks. He shrugged and continued eating.
A melancholy tune filled the quiet as Nick played his guitar. His voice was impressive, effortlessly pouring misery into every word. When his torturous rein on their ears was released, he hung his head. Emotions were raw and exposed for everyone to see.
>
Nick had emptied his soul.
Because of being so drawn into his song, no one noticed Josie leaning on the doorframe of the cafeteria until she applauded. Nick looked over his shoulder at her.
“That was amazing,” she murmured, heading toward him.
Nick smiled, but his eyes didn’t. The stare spoke volumes to her. “It’s the only way I can get it out. It’s easier than talking about it.”
“I understand.” Josie sat near him.
Patting the body of the guitar, he explained, “Claire risked her life to get this for me. With Thomas and Sophie, she fought her way back to my craphole bachelor palace and rummaged through my mess until she had it in her hands. She was excited to bring it back to me. I was really pissed at her for risking her life for a guitar, but she knew what it meant. I am so fucking grateful she did. I would be even more lost without it. I feel like it’s a piece of her I can still carry.”
“She sounds like a wonderful person,” Josie murmured.
“She was…she was the love of my life.” Nick inhaled long and deep. “She had been Elaina’s best friend for years. For some reason, I never noticed her. I was too busy chasing every other meaningless skirt who crossed my path. Once I realized we were meant to be, I was head-over-heels. I wanted every minute with her to be epic because you never knew what was going to happen.” He shook his head. Once again, he was beating himself up over his short time with Claire.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“From the moment she figured out she was pregnant, she was so worried about the baby. Never once did she worry about herself. She was the most unselfish person on the planet.” He sighed and looked up at Josie, who sucked in a sharp breath when his emerald eyes fixed on her. Giving a small smile, he said, “She was afraid the baby would be like me. I’ll never know my little girl…so beautiful and fragile. You don’t realize how you feel until it slips away from you.” Nick’s voice caught in the back of his throat. His eyes traveled back down, fighting his tears. He played with the frayed strings at the hole in the knee of his jeans. Glancing back up at Josie, he wore a weary smile. “Sorry to dump on you.”
Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three) Page 3