“Yes. Yes. Please, come in,” she murmured.
I wanted to scream No! at the top of my lungs.
“Are you sure?” His voice dropped to barely above a whisper. “Did anything happen?”
“No. I just… Well, you know…”
“Give it time. He’ll eventually become the man you used to know.” I glared as he smiled and wiped away the tear trickling down her cheek. It was bloody difficult to stifle my growl. If I could’ve moved fast enough, I would’ve decked the bastard. “Listen, I need to speak with him about sleeping arrangements.”
“Right.” She cleared her throat and turned around as I managed to sit up.
According to her body language and the fear across her face, she was concerned I witnessed their interaction. I was throwing daggers from my eyes. Fuck daggers—swords. I was throwing swords from my eyes.
Not wanting to appear weak, I spoke with sharp and precise words, regardless of the physical pain I knew they would cause me. “Elaina, there are three rooms left in this hall. Gather Nick and Thomas to carry mats from the gym.”
“All right. Thank you,” Gunther muttered and started to turn around.
My lip rolled into a snarl. “You…stay.” I was going to give this headfuck a piece of my mind, even though my fists couldn’t do the talking for me. “Go ahead, Elaina.”
“I can stay,” she worried, biting her lip.
“I said to go!” I barked, then grabbed my head. “Damn it all to hell,” I growled. She opened the door and slammed it shut. I hissed. It took me a second, but I looked up at Gunther. My face was twisted into something so angry, it had to look frightening. That was my hope, at least. “One isn’t enough for you?” I snapped.
“Listen… I’m happy with what I have.”
“And what exactly do you have?”
“I have Quinn. That’s all.”
“You stay away from Elaina or, so help me, I will tear your motherfucking throat out. Are we clear?”
“Big words coming from a man who hasn’t been out of bed in days. You must have forgotten I’ve kicked your arse a few times before. I can do it again.”
“Fuck you, old man.”
Gunther glared at me. “Elaina needs support and, seemingly, all you have done lately is drink yourself into a stupor. You always were a lush.”
“You don’t know what it’s like!”
“Oh, I don’t? I don’t know what’s it like to be sick? Or beaten? Or tortured? Try never having parents and being bred specifically for that fucking program.”
“My mother was murdered…or so I thought. And I don’t have a father. So we’re even on that.” I looked away from him, picturing the beating and rape again. “You don’t know what it’s like to have addiction issues.” The shame of my situation was raw.
We were silent for a few seconds before Gunther decided to take a seat. I could see his need. His hands traveled all over his body, rubbing his neck, muscles, joints, and lower back. “Listen. I’m not trying to steal Elaina away from you. Don’t let paranoia take over. I cannot stress this enough. My only desire is Quinn. My heart beats for her, much like yours does for Elaina. I almost put a bullet in my head not that long ago and she… Christ. I don’t know how to behave with women, okay? I’m only good at fucking and fighting, mate. There, I said it. I don’t know how to be a friend.”
I shook my head, then started laughing. “Are you for real?” I laughed harder. “Shit. My head is killing me and you say something like that.” I roared from the hilarity of it.
“I don’t see the humor in this. Seriously. Stop being a fucking prat.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry. It just reminded me what Elaina told me.”
“What are you talking about?”
I was laughing so hard, I could barely speak. “When you were in the gym with Quinn… Elaina was going to see if Quinn wanted to help her and Cora with planting. When she got to the gym door she heard…things.”
His mouth dropped open. “Shit. I was teaching her how to fight and then we… Well, obviously you know what happened.” Tears from my ridiculous laughter trickled down my cheeks. “Please, tell her not to say anything to Quinn. She would be mortified.”
I was able to stop laughing for a second. “Consider it done.”
“I appreciate that. I’ve got to get Quinn aside. I’m hurting.” He stood and rolled his neck. “Nice talking to you, you tosser.” I started laughing again. “Fuck you, mate. Christ. You know, you’re a piece of work.” He waved his hand at me and headed for the door.
When Gunther opened the door, Elaina fell into him. He closed the door before Henry saw or heard anything.
“Everything okay? Did you get them set up?” She shook her head. “Is that prat, Eli, being impossible?” Again, she shook her head. “Then what’s going on?”
“I haven’t gotten there yet.”
“So you were standing here the whole time?” She nodded. “Why?”
“I was afraid what would happen. Plus, I’m spent. I don’t think I could walk another step.” Her cheeks flushed. “I think my life is imploding in on itself.”
“Look, I’m not very good with stuff like this. It’s not my forte.”
“Yeah, I heard. Fucking and fighting is what you’re good at.”
Gunther smiled. “Yes. That’s what I’m good at. I’m also a great cook, but that’s not anything I can do right now. So, fucking and fighting it is.” He smirked. She tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t. “And I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to anyone else about what you heard in the gym.”
“I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you.” He took a step, but she still didn’t move. He stopped and turned around to face her. “Elaina, don’t throw it away. You guys are going through a major rough patch right now, but you love one another. You’ll work through this and be stronger than ever.”
Her smile was weak, but her body became stronger. She was able to pick her foot up to take a step. In a murmur, she said, “You are good at this.”
“Good at what?” he asked, confused.
“Being a friend.”
With a rough voice, he said, “Thank you. That means a lot to me. Come on. Let’s go get them situated.”
Once everyone was moved into the room Henry assigned, Gunther pulled Quinn aside, telling her he needed a fix. She took his hand and they headed toward their room.
He decided to lock the door for two reasons. One, there were too many people now who could walk in on them. And two, Gunther wanted a little action from his woman.
“You ready, love?” He had the needle in his hand. She smiled. “I take that as a yes.”
Sitting back on their bed, Quinn relaxed while he began the draw, gazing at one another while they waited for the vials to fill.
“Can we talk about something?” they asked at the same time, causing both to laugh. Then, as if on cue, they both said, “You go first.”
Gunther smiled and held up his hand. “Please, love. Go ahead.” He looked down to unhook her.
“Don’t get angry with me.”
“Now, you cannot say something like that and not expect me to get angry. That’s setting me up for failure.” He sat next to her and tipped back the vials.
She fiddled with her hands like a nervous child, knowing exactly how angry he could get at the snap of a finger. “Please take it a little easier on Eli.”
Gunther choked on the blood, spraying it out onto his hand as he coughed. “Why?” He coughed again.
Quinn stood and grabbed a small towel for him. “Because they are our guests and we need to be kind.”
“He’s an arse,” he murmured, cleaning himself up.
“I realize that, but it’ll cause friction if you are too harsh. I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it. All I am asking is to tone it down a bit.” Gunther leaned back against the wall. He tipped his head back, eyes closed, enjoying the mini high he relished so much. “If you behave…”
>
He groaned. “Oh, if my reward is anything like last time, I will behave every-fucking-day for the rest of my so-called life.” He smirked, then opened his eyes when he felt the bed shift.
Quinn was perched in front of him. “Good. I’m going to hold you to that.” She leaned in and kissed him. He relaxed and pulled her onto his lap. “Not now,” she mumbled between kisses.
He moaned. “But I’m ready.”
She poked at the bulge in his pants. “I can feel that.”
“Just a quick one?”
“Nope.” Quinn stood.
“Love, you’re killing me. I’m high. It’s ten times more amazing during my high.”
“I’m not so sure that’s a compliment,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. He stood and pulled her close. His emeralds shined through the dim light, and he rested his cool forehead against hers.
“Trust me.” His deep voice rumbled through her body. “You make me feel things I have never felt before.”
Gunther swayed with her as if music played in the room. He took her hand and spun her around, their arms crossed in front of her body. Rocking back and forth, his lips nestled in the crook of her neck, he left a trail of soft kisses up to her ear. He was hard as a titanium rod, rigid against her spine.
Without warning, Gunther spun her back around and placed his hand on the small of her back, dipping her. He leaned down, tongue traveling around her neck. Quinn’s breath hitched. Her heightened pulse tickled his deep-seated carnal need.
“What I wouldn’t give to have a proper dance with you.” He trailed kisses down to her cleavage. She had lost a considerable amount of weight, but her chest was still plump and ample, much like her ass, which he just so happened to have a hand on. “You are so fucking sexy, my love,” he groaned as he placed more kisses along her chest.
“Gunther…,” Quinn whispered. “Please…” He pulled her up. His cool breath sent chills down her body while he swayed her back and forth, tantalizing her just a little more. “Please stop,” she finally choked out.
“Why?” Gunther was in shock.
“Because…”
He ran his hand up her side, pausing at her breast. “What else is there to do, love?” He felt her resistance, but his body ached to be in hers. Quinn took a step back. “What’s wrong?” She stared at him, her hands on her hips.
“I don’t want to have sex for the sake of having sex. I want it to be meaningful.”
“But it is to me,” he muttered in confusion. “Every moment with you is meaningful. Every kiss, every thrust, every moan…all meaningful.”
“Are you just with me because I give into your needs?”
Gunther’s face dropped. “What?! No! God, no! Why would you even think that?” His eyes wore his concern. “I love you. If all I wanted from you was sex, I wouldn’t be staying with you. I wouldn’t even want to talk to you.”
“Sometimes, I feel like all you want is sex and blood.”
“Love, that’s far from the truth. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. I love you with everything I have. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t carry on. Plain and simple. I can’t imagine not having you on my arm. I am so proud to have you.” As Gunther poured his heart out to her, it made her smile. Relief swept over him. He grabbed her and pulled her close, holding her tight. “Christ, don’t scare me like that. My life would be meaningless without you…which is exactly why I want you to be my wife.”
Those words surprised him as much as they did Quinn. His eyes popped open and her body went as rigid as his cock. Standing in shock, she just blinked at him. Several moments passed, but Quinn continued to just stare at him.
“Say something, love,” Gunther whispered.
Tears formed in her eyes. “I…I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. It just came out. I’m putting too much pressure on you.” Turning away, pissed at himself, he scrubbed his face as he barked out a few expletives. He fucked up in a major way.
“Gunther…” She grabbed his arm, making him turn around to face her. Tears streamed down her face. “I just want you to understand that I need more.”
“I know. I’m trying.”
“I know you are. You have come a long way. I just don’t want you to get lost and travel down a path I’m not willing to be on.”
“I understand,” he said, even though he was clueless. Heart racing, he kissed her forehead.
What the fuck does she mean?
Does she not want to be my wife?
Is she talking about the sex thing?
Gunther needed to change the subject before he drove himself even more mental than he already was. “How about we head to the library and see if there is anything interesting?”
“Sounds good. Maybe Cora will allow us to take the kids.” He broke out in a grin. She knew he would like that idea.
Once the hungry rumble revved up in my stomach, I decided to get my sorry ass out of bed. Being hungry was a good sign…I hoped.
Stumbling to the loo, I grabbed the hand towel. Match in hand, the unimpaired scratch and the sulfur stench filled the undersized, dark space. Holding it to the wick of the candle, I caught a brief glimpse of myself in the mirror. I brought the match to my lips and blew it out.
After pouring a little water on the dingy towel, I stood straight and stared in the mirror. What stared back at me gave me the shock of my life. Placing the candle on the basin, I could see more. I didn’t want to, but I had to face reality.
I swallowed hard, noting the dark circles, puffy cheeks, bearded jaw and upper lip, chapped lips, and out of control hair.
I was a motherfucking wreck.
I rubbed my eyes to make sure they were functioning correctly. Pulling my hand away, I realized I was still a motherfucking wreck.
That was the first time I saw myself clearly in ages. No wonder Elaina was running away from me. Closing my eyes, I gripped the edges of the sink.
I fought bloody hard not to get emotional, to no avail. I was fucking crying again. I was the only one who didn’t see what I had become. Sheer courage allowed me to open my eyes and stare at myself once again.
After a swipe at the tears running down my face, there was a flicker of hope what was reflecting back at me wasn’t the truth.
I splashed water on my face, then grabbed the can of shaving gel and a razor. Lathered face, the razor in my tremoring hand, I pressed it to my cheek, exhaling, trying to ease my emotions. The last thing I needed was to tear the shit out of my face.
Once I was able to steady my hand, I began the mind-numbing process of taking down the sketchy beard that was taking over—shaving twice in order to get rid of it all.
I rinsed my face, brushed my teeth, and tried to tame my hair with water and a brush, but was unsuccessful. I needed to find a trimmer and take it down a level or twelve. I stripped down, and scrubbed my body. I couldn’t scrub away the abuse, but I could at least look clean for my Elaina.
My Elaina… What a fucking joke that was. I couldn’t believe I thought she would still be mine.
Glancing down at my swollen belly, a sigh escaped me. Pathetic. I poked my finger at it, wondering if the paunch would go away with a little gym time. I had grown too lazy to spend time lifting and training. My fitness program right now focused on 750ml presses. I was sure Elaina was no longer attracted to the mess in the mirror.
I cursed and palmed my deodorant, trying to freshen up the sickness oozing from my pores. After draining the five drops of fluid banging around in my bladder, I headed back into the room to hunt out a semi-clean outfit to wear—jeans and a gray tee.
Once I neatened everything up on the shelves, I stepped back, feeling dissatisfied with the results…as per usual. After careful examination, I tugged and pulled at the corners of the fabrics, made sure the personal products were in perfect, descending rows, realigning everything again. I took another step back, and it was still a little off. Three more adjustments later, I headed out,
albeit slowly, to the cafeteria. No need to rush to the critical gazes and whispered words.
I leaned against the doorway for a moment, watching the action I had been missing out on. Gunther, Quinn, Kate, and Silas were seated at one table, reading through a stack of books. Silas hopped on Gunther’s lap just as he grabbed a book from the stack.
Hanging out on the side of the room with her back to the door, Elaina watched the scene. As I walked up behind her, she glanced over her shoulder. “Very sweet, isn’t it?” she asked.
“Yes.” I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin in her head, hoping she wouldn’t reject me.
“You look good, Henry. More like yourself.”
“Thank you,” I murmured.
Her focus returned to the kids. “It kind of makes me want a child of my own but, after seeing what happened with Claire, I’m too afraid.”
“Not that we’ve been taking any precautions,” I muttered, wondering if she would ever allow me the privilege of making love to her again.
I sighed, noticing the new crew was staring in our direction.
“His name is Ben. Maybe we should introduce you. Are you feeling well enough?”
“Yeah, I think so. I’m also feeling well enough to eat a little something.”
“Good.” She smiled at me. Christ, that made me feel a little better about our situation. Maybe I was just being too paranoid. “After I introduce you, I’ll get you something to eat.”
“I’ll take a double order of fish and chips.”
“Wishful thinking,” Elaina mumbled, and I laughed. She gazed over her shoulder at me with that brilliant smile. “I’ve missed your laugh, Henry.”
“I’ve missed it, too.” I pursed my lips and glanced away from her eyes, unable to handle her pain.
We made our way over to the new arrivals. When Ben stood, Elaina stepped aside, allowing us to greet one another.
“Hello.” He held out his hand.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I got an instant bad vibe. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something about that bloke that chapped my ass. Looking down at his hand for just a moment, Elaina glanced at me and read my tension true.
Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three) Page 9