Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three)

by Blakeley, Rissa

  “Just a minute ago, he was dragging ass and now this? I’m worried he has forgotten about Claire and Willow,” she growled, her fists clenched at her sides.

  “That’s not the case, and you know it. I need to ask him to keep an eye on things.” Walking over and grabbing Nick, I pulled him aside and away from Elaina’s critical gaze. “Gunther and I are taking off for a few to get some stuff for the ceremony. I need you, Thomas, and Josie to keep an eye on those fools.” I motioned my chin over at Ben and Mara.

  Nick smirked. “No problem. I’d love to.”

  Glancing at Josie, I asked, “Did she find out anything?”

  “Nope. She said Ben came out of their room, but she quickly went into hers so he didn’t think she was following him. She said she peeked out a few times, but didn’t see or hear him.”

  “All right. Keep a close eye on them and watch for anything odd. If you have to, restrain them. Keep Cora and the kids out of range, as well. Gunther will kill them if they even breathe near them. I don’t want anything getting out.”

  “Aye, aye, captain.”

  I turned around and half-smiled at Elaina just as she ran up to me, giving me a bear hug. I left my usual comforting words into her ear. “I love you so much. You make life worth living.” She pulled away. Her eyes were damp with tears, and her teeth were biting her bottom lip. “Don’t fight it, love. It takes more effort to fight it than to just let it go.”

  The tears trickled down her face and, embarrassed, she looked down. I kissed the top of her head and left her standing there, but looked over my shoulder for one last glance…just in case. She wiped her tears as she watched Gunther and I leave. It made my chest ache seeing her like that.

  What I wouldn’t give for a little normalcy, but we all knew the reality of the situation. Any time one of us ventured out beyond the walls, the chance was there.

  Chapter 13

  For the second time that day, I pulled up to the hardware store.

  “Holy Christ,” Gunther mumbled. “The three of you made all of them true dead?”

  “Yeah. Nick ran around, drawing them toward him. He shot a couple, emptying his Sig. I shot a bunch with the rifle, then it jammed. Oh, that reminds me. We need to clean the guns. Anyway, then Elaina started hacking off their heads and I followed behind her, smashing in their skulls.”

  The recounting of events seemed so nonchalant, like it wasn’t a big deal or bizarre by any means. I shook my head over the oddity that it was the norm…kill or be killed.

  “Damn,” Gunther muttered in amazement. We both jumped out and headed into the hardware store. “Pretty nice for a small town.”

  “Yeah, they have a little bit of everything.” I walked straight to the lumber. He followed behind like a loyal subject.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you…” I looked back at him. “How have you been doing? You know…with the whole alcohol thing?”

  “I’m not going to lie. It’s hard. I crave it constantly. I always think of a situation where it would be great to chug a bottle.”

  “For what it’s worth, I’m happy you’re working hard at kicking it.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond and stared at him with furrowed brows. His statement baffled me. Feeling the heat, Gunther turned away. “Thanks,” I said, turning back around. “So… I want to build an arbor and a few benches, painting everything white. Nothing too complex, since we don’t have power tools, but something nice. She deserves it for putting up with my shit.”

  “I think we can swing that. You have any plans drawn up yet?”

  “No, not really.” I pointed to my head. “I have them up here, though.”

  His eyes glanced at my head. “It may get lost in that tangled mess of hair.”

  I ran my hand through it. “Yeah, no kidding. Remind me to have someone cut it. If I keep this up, I’m going to have dreads.”

  “I have a battery-operated razor. Quinn usually takes mine off. I had a nasty gash from being pistol-whipped, so she wanted to keep the area clean until it healed.” He tipped his head down, parted his hair, and showed me the scar. “Great fun that was.”

  “That looks like it smarted a bit.”

  I saw the scar before when his hair was trimmed, but I just assumed it happened in the program. We both have surgical scars on our heads. I reached up and touched the area of my skull that had been fractured. Bad memories.

  Gunther stacked the lumber I had pulled down. He continued, “Yeah, it was pretty bad. Long story, but I almost turned. Quinn and Josie saved my arse. Then I had an infection and was sick for a while. Same time when I was shot.” Gunther was quiet for a moment, looking lost in thought. Then he said, “I wonder if there are batteries in here. We can use some for our flashlights.”

  “Yeah.” I thumbed over my shoulder. “I think there were some down another aisle toward the front.”

  Gunther found a pad of paper so I could draw out my vision. He added his two cents, and we came up with a plan for an arbor and simple benches. We rounded up all the supplies we would need—tools, wood glue, nails, and paint. Then we went through the rest of the store and grabbed all the candles, matches, lighters, and batteries we could find.

  While Gunther finished loading the truck, I decided to check out a small jewelry store next door. We needed wedding bands. Ours were probably still in the church back in New York.

  After I picked the locks and entered the store, I froze while my eyes looked around, absorbing the simple details. There were only a few cases. One had necklaces, another held bracelets and watches, then I spotted the case with the rings.

  I had no idea why I was so bloody nervous, but it was like starting the whole process again. I had to remind myself Elaina had already agreed to be my wife, and we were minutes from walking down the aisle when the virus broke out.

  Approaching the case, I wrapped my palms around the thin metal edge, working to keep my thoughts at rest and my feelings stable. I focused on the rings, eyes zooming in on one at a time. My body relaxed.

  Because of the lack of lighting, I couldn’t see much sparkle, but from what I was seeing, there were some nice pieces available for purchase at the fantastic low price of free.

  The door swung open and Gunther came in. “What do you think of those?” I pointed out a section of bands.

  He padded to me and bent over the case. “Not bad. Pull them out.” I leapt over the counter, picked the lock, and opened the case. I pulled out a simple men’s platinum band with a little crosshatch pattern engraved into the edges. “Try it on,” he coaxed.

  Nervously, I slid it on my finger. “Fits,” I whispered. I hated to think it, but I liked it better than the original wedding band Elaina and I picked out together. Fresh start for a new life.

  “Looks like it’s meant to be,” Gunther murmured as his eyes roamed the case.

  I smiled and pocketed the ring. Without another thought, I pulled out the band I spotted for Elaina…another platinum band. It was slender and had princess cut diamonds all the way around it. “It would match her engagement ring.” I bit down on my bottom lip for a second. “What do you think? Think she would like it?”

  “Well, I don’t know her very well, but I’m sure any woman would be pleased to wear a stellar ring like that.”

  I shoved that one in my pocket, as well, then searched under the cases for ring boxes. “You should pick out a set for you and Quinn,” I murmured, popping back up.

  I swear I heard breaks screech in Gunther’s brain, and he had a dumbfounded look on his face. He swallowed hard. “Ah… I don’t know… I’m not sure she would even want to be engaged to me, let alone marry me.”

  “Go on. Pick something out. They may not be here when…if we can make it back.”

  He let out a nervous sigh as his eyes darted around the case. His hand shook when he pointed to a lovely oval cut solitaire with circle cut diamonds around the band. “That looks like something she would like…I think. Not that I know what kind of jewelry she likes.”r />
  I reached into the case and pulled it out. “It’s nice, mate. Kind of like Elaina’s, except hers is square.”

  Gunther twisted it around in his fingers. After a nervous breath, he dropped the ring in his pocket. He looked around at the case and saw a band he would like for himself. It was just a thick, heavy, plain platinum band. I grabbed it out of the case and handed it to him. He slid it on his finger and took a long, staggering breath, quickly pulling it off and pocketing it.

  “That one looks perfect for Quinn.” It was an infinity band. One part of the ring was covered in diamonds; the other part was plain, like the one he just pocketed for himself. He dropped that ring in his pocket as well, drew in a hard breath and exhaled with a loud sigh. “Okay. Let’s get out of here before I have a nervous breakdown.” I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

  “I know the feeling. After I bought Elaina’s ring, I lost more sleep than normal, worrying about whether or not she would say yes. It was a rough couple of weeks. But when she said yes, it was the happiest I have ever been in my life.”

  “I hope she says yes,” he said in a low voice.

  “She will. Pleasure doing business with you. Now, let’s get the fuck out of here.” I leapt back over the counter and we headed out.

  After starting the truck, I glanced down at the instrument panel. The low fuel light was on. “Well, looks like this is the last bit of our gas. Once we get back, we will have to walk to get water and come back here.”

  “Fantastic. It’s, like, fifteen miles to the water pump. That’s an all-day affair.”

  “Yeah… Good while it lasted, I suppose. I could use the workout, though.” I patted my paunchy belly, then put the truck into drive.

  “I’m going to whip your pudgy arse into shape,” Gunther said with a grin.

  “Honestly, I need it. I don’t really like the way I look,” I muttered. “I look even worse naked. I can’t even believe Elaina is still attracted to me.” I felt a bit embarrassed admitting that to him.

  “Well, we’ll workout every day until you get the results you’re looking for.”

  Appreciative of his offer, I said, “Sounds good.”

  The art room was somewhat dark and smelled of crayons and newsprint. Elaina grabbed a sheet of paper off one shelf. Quinn had found an old soup can full of pencils. They sat at one of the tables and drew out a memorial for Sophie.

  After several sketches and a lot of discussion, they decided on a wooden cross made from wood, painted white, with painted flourishes in different colors. Elaina was happy Quinn offered to do the lettering and flourishes.

  She walked around the art room and found everything they needed, except the lumber and the paint for the cross. “It looks like we will have to run to the hardware store for everything else,” Elaina said, a little disgruntled. She really wanted to get started on it, needing instant gratification.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll find what we need. Let’s go see if our fearless men are back. I’ll talk to Gunther about getting what you’ll need.”

  “Thanks. That would be great.”

  They walked out of the art room, seeing Henry and Gunther carrying stacks of lumber and other stuff down the hall toward the technology room. A huge smile spread across Elaina’s face. She glanced at Quinn and they nodded at one another. Sneaking back into the art room unnoticed, they waited until Henry and Gunther walked past again.

  Giggling like children, Elaina and Quinn ran down to the room and stole a saw and a single piece of lumber. Luckily enough, Henry had grabbed a couple cans of paint. They stole one of those, as well.

  When they made it back to the art room, the construction of Sophie’s cross began. After painting it white, they decided to leave it to dry, hiding everything under one of the tables just in case someone decided to be nosey.

  Once Quinn and Elaina made it back to the cafeteria, Elaina decided she needed to talk to Nick about what she had been witnessing between him and Josie.

  Chapter 14

  Impatiently waiting after she knocked, Nick finally opened the door. “Hey,” Elaina said.

  “Come on in,” he said.

  Walking into his room, the first thing Elaina saw was one of Josie’s hoodies draped over a chair. After a deep inhale, she tried to keep the thoughts of him putting the moves on Josie out of her mind.

  He grabbed a couple of chairs and they sat at the small table toward the back of the room.

  “What’s up, Lainy?” he asked, twisting his ball cap backward on his head, leaving his overgrown hair sneaking out around the edges.

  “I have some concerns I wanted to address with you,” she said in her best “Elaina means business” voice. Seeing him so somber at the hardware store, then so happy to be around Josie bothered her quite a bit.

  “All right. Shoot. Wait… Don’t take me literally.” He smiled.

  “You’re a regular fucking comedian, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah. I suppose that would be the case.” He looked down at his nails and picked the dirt out from under them.

  Elaina struggled getting the words out. She didn’t ever talk too much about Claire. It always took her down a road she didn’t want to travel on. Nick looked up at her, waiting.

  “Okay, here it goes. I just have to say it. What’s going on with you and Josie?” His face went blank as she leaned forward, challenging him. “Hello? I asked you a question.”

  “I heard you. I just don’t know how to respond to that.”

  She didn’t want to flat out ask if he was fucking her. “It’s easy. Just say what’s going on with her.” She was growing impatient quicker than usual.

  “To be honest, it’s not your concern, but I will say that she’s a great girl. Underneath the emo vibe, she’s really an intelligent, loving person. She can play the guitar like nobody’s business. It makes me look like I’m just learning.”

  “Ugh! This is not about her guitar playing ability!” Then it slipped out, “Are you fucking her?”

  Nick’s jaw dropped open, appalled by her accusation. “No, I’m not! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Elaina bit back.

  “Me?! You’re the one asking if I’m fucking people!”

  Elaina slammed her hand on the table. “I asked you if you were fucking Josie, not people.”

  He stood, pushing the chair into the wall behind him. “Frankly, Elaina, that’s none of your damn business!”

  “It is my concern! Have you forgotten about Claire and Willow?”

  His breath hitched and his jaw trembled when their names came out. He was trying to hold back his emotions, but he struggled. “No. I have not. And don’t you ever accuse me of doing so.” The hurt in his coarse voice was palpable. He stared at Elaina in resentful silence for a moment, then headed straight for the door.

  “Nick! Wait…” With his jaw set tight, he turned around to face his sister, tears trickling down his face. “I’m sorry. I just see you with her and–”

  Nick cut her off. “My brain says to go with Josie and be with her, but my heart won’t allow it. I’ve kissed her and made out with her a little, but no, I’m not fucking her. I can’t bring myself to do it. I end up just holding her because that’s all I can offer. We have connected through music, and talking about something else besides the tragedy I live with day in and day out makes me feel good.” Then he confessed, “I think I love her.”

  “Love her?” Elaina whispered. “How can you move on so quickly, Nick?”

  “What the fuck am I supposed to do? Enlighten me, Elaina. I have no fucking clue how I’m supposed to make it through a day without Claire and Willow, but I have to. I don’t have a choice in the matter. I don’t know how to do it, and Josie has been available to help me. She has been a great shoulder for me…unlike my only sister.”

  The pain in his eyes damn near killed her. “I’m sorry if you feel I haven’t been there for you.”

  “You have been dealing with your own stuff with
Henry,” he mumbled. “She has offered herself to me on a few occasions, but I have either rejected her or I stop before it goes too far. I can’t share that with anyone else. When Claire and I made love, I felt whole. She made me feel how I wanted to feel. But I can talk to Josie, and she doesn’t just hear me. She listens. I’m so fucking confused.” He paused to swallow a few times. “Josie has spent the night with me a few times when I needed someone beside me. I can’t do this life alone. I miss Claire so fucking much. And with Willow not making it, I have nothing from either one of them. I will never forget them but, Christ, I have to live somehow. I think about them all the time—day and night.” Elaina felt like a complete ass. He still loved Claire, and he was crippled with sadness and despair. Nick stared at her, wiping the tears off his face with his sleeve. “I’m done with this conversation,” he whimpered, then yanked open the door and took off.

  Elaina chased him down the hallway. “Nick…Nick! Wait!”

  He turned around. With a serious ache in his voice, he said, “Just leave me the hell alone. Stop interfering with my life. It’s not your job to fix me. You can’t even keep your own relationship together for more than a few days. Worry about yourself and not about me.” Then he jogged off.

  Josie came out of her room. Nick stopped when he reached her. “Nick? What’s wrong?” She reached out for him, but he pushed her away. “Nick…” He ran off down the hall, past the cafeteria. Elaina had no idea where he was going, but she thought it would be wise not to chase after him. “What did you do to him?!” Josie snapped at her.

  Elaina couldn’t speak. They starred at each other for a few moments before Josie took off after him. Elaina stalked off into her room and fell apart.

  “Nick! Nick! Wait up!” Josie chased him down the hall, past the cafeteria, and all the way down the other wing of classrooms.

  He opened a door and slipped into a room, slamming the door behind him. She stopped outside and pressed her ear to it. The first thing she heard was him just venting. A few things crashed, then he belted out a scream.