The steam rising from the balmy water creates a magical atmosphere on the roof- top pool. The December day is overcast and growing darker, adding to the intimate feel of the pool.
It’s surprisingly quiet with just a few people besides us in the relaxing waters. Luc is lounging against the side, looking out over what we can see of the city. My eyes have found it difficult not to wander over every inch of his tattoo when he’s given me a chance. It’s mesmerising. I want to lay him down on his front and study it with my eyes and my touch.
It’s not just his back I want to touch. I want to wrap my arms around his neck and connect with him. With anyone else, if there was something I wanted, I would take it. With Luc, I’m second guessing my actions or running my mouth off in defence. I did say I was going to enjoy today, and that meant taking what I wanted. Sod this!
I push off of the side and step between Luc’s legs before bobbing back down in the water so my shoulders are submerged. My arms reach forward and run up his chest. He takes my lead and lifts to wrap my legs around his waist. The contact isn’t anything that screams sexual, yet it has a familiar feeling to it. It’s natural and feels easy, and I’m comfortable being like this with Luc.
“Ready to head to another room?” Luc asks.
“Sure.” I wait for him to release my legs and then stand up in the water. He makes no attempt to hide the up and down of his eyes as he apprises me. I kick my hip out a little and smile. It’s new, this feeling of being appreciated. I know that guys have looked at me and enjoyed what they’ve seen, but from Luc it’s more than just being seen.
He breaks the spell by turning around, and it’s my turn to admire. His back is on full display, and my fingers get that tingling, desperate-to-reach-out-and-touch sensation. So I do. I run my hand up his spine, over the scene on his back and rest it on his shoulder. He turns, waiting for me to indicate what I stopped him for. I don’t say anything but smile and walk out of the pool.
I lead the way back to a large wet steam room with marble benches around the circumference. I take a seat and lean back against the warm glass.
The air is thick with steam and the humidity instantly zaps my muscles with relaxation. Luc sits close, our thighs touching. Again, there isn’t anything overly sexual, but it reminds me of what always burns under the surface with Luc—an attraction so strong I feel like a magnet, always being pulled toward him.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” Luc asks.
“Yes, this is perfect. Thank you.”
“So are we over you fighting me for the next date?”
“Hey, don’t spoil it.”
“I’m not. I’m testing the water to see where we are.”
I don’t answer and keep my eyes looking straight ahead. I don’t want to argue. Surely I could manage that.
Dates held so much more meaning when my feelings were on the line and with Luc they were. I let a few long minutes pass, breathing in the cloudy, hot air. My eyes drift shut and I enjoy the quiet. No one else is in here with us.
“I caved for this. Can we leave it there?” I ask, hoping we can skip this discussion and simply enjoy each other’s company.
“For now. I will get tired of having half-truths or hidden answers from you.”
“I’ll take it under advisement. But, remember my rules. We’re not in the bedroom.”
“No, we’re in a public spa where I have to keep my hands to myself.” As he whispers the words, I feel his hand slide up the outside of my thigh and curve around my hip.
“You don’t hold much respect for that particular rule.”
“Are you complaining?”
“I like your hands on me,” I admit, enjoying the sensation of feeling both relaxed and wanted.
“That’s good, as I intend to have them on you a whole lot more.”
I glance up and am struck by his sexy grin and his green eyes looking devious in the low light. It’s unfair how attractive he is.
The spell is broken by another couple who enter the steam room. Luc moves to right himself, and I go back to lounging against the wall, the chemistry between us still simmering. I wondered if there will ever be a time I won’t be affected by this man.
The rest of the afternoon is bliss. I felt indulgent, lounging around in the company of Luc. The cogs inside my head had slowed down, but I knew that wouldn’t last. “I had a really nice time today. Thank you.” The car ride home is quiet, but we didn’t have far to travel.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you finally saw sense.”
I let his comment slide, because he’s right. After our conversation in the steam room, the rest of the afternoon was all about relaxing. We’d been in each other’s company and held off without one kiss, nothing past the slight touch and temptation in the steam room. There were grazes and stolen touches, but nothing as physical as the last time we were together. Anticipation charges the air. Static, waiting for a spark, fills the car.
My mood is tranquil. A part of me wants to invite him in when he drops me off and spend the rest of the evening obeying his every sexual wish. Today has been so… good, so unique for me. I’ve spent time with a man that I have feelings for and let those feelings flourish and take root. I don’t want it to end like all of my other ‘dates’. I don’t want it to end in bed. Call me crazy, and I will probably call myself that later on tonight, but I want to have this memory as it is—an innocent and special time.
Luc pulls up to the drive and turns off the engine. I feel like an awkward teenager again, not sure of how to end that first date. He opens his door, and I try to escape.
“Um, Luc. Today has been great. I had a lovely time. But, I need to concentrate on work now. I’ve let a number of projects slide to spend the day with you, so I’m playing catch up. Can we call it a day?”
“You can’t concentrate with me around, Princess?”
We’re at the doorstep with only my own self-restraint keeping us in check.
“You know what will happen. I’d like to remember today for what it was. A really nice… date. It meant a lot to me.” My words sound lame and utterly ridiculous.
“Seems we can either have mind blowing sex or we can have a great time together. Do you want to let me know when you’re ready to combine the two, because I’m getting a little fed up with you being one or the other.” If his words weren’t a giveaway, his crossed arms and stern look tell me he’s not impressed.
“Luc, please. I’m sorry. I’m not blowing you off. I just…” I put my arms around his neck. “Please let me have this. Let me have a special afternoon with a guy I really care about and leave it at that.”
“I want you in the bedroom, showing me how good you submit to me. I want to feel that energy burst between us. I want you to be desperate to feel me against every inch of your skin,” he growls against my throat. The frustration he’s holding back is clear in every syllable, and it would be easy for me to surrender.
“Luc…” I plead. I don’t want to fight him.
A swell of emotion rises and lodges in my throat. My teeth bite down on the tears that threaten my resolve. This is crazy. I shouldn’t be this upset over not inviting him in. It was a stupid date.
“Don’t worry, Jess. I’ll back off. It seems you need a little time to trust your head and your body to me.” He pulls away, leaving me confused.
“Hey! Why did you have to push when everything about this afternoon was amazing. You wanted time to get to know me, and I’m giving it to you. Against all better judgement, I’m letting you in. You’re getting close to me. Let that be enough.” “For now, Princess. But it’s getting a bit fucking tiring having to fight you every step of the way.” He stalks off and gets back in his Merc.
If I couldn’t keep Pete or Daniel, I wasn’t sure how in the world I was going to keep Luc. I watch him speed off down the road and let a single, painful tear slip from my eye.
Walking into my office shouldn’t be a chore. But it is. The next three days would host the last meetings before the f
inal re-structure was sent to the board.
My mind drifted back to Luc and the way I left things between us last night. Work gave me the luxury of forgetting that for now. I had more significant challenges in my way.
I’d always enjoyed my job—I’d worked hard and dedicated myself to achieving my current position—but putting people out of work was the hard part. Right now, I would do anything not to be in this situation.
“These figures aren’t going to work, Jessica. I don’t know what you’ve been wasting your time on, but you need to up your game and fast.” Ian tossed the final report I was presenting down the conference table at me, the papers flickering out of the folder as it spins to a stop in front of me. I glare at him and his condescending, superior attitude.
“I’m not the head of finance here, Ian. I’ve submitted the re-structure plan based on the sales projections and the redundancies. This is not my sole responsibility.”
“And I’ve told you that you need to find another solution which keeps the sales team clear. How are we going to recover without a sales team, hey? Have you even thought about that?” His belittling tone presses all the wrong buttons for me. I stand to meet his challenge, my fingers grip the edge of the table.
“And how are you going to justify their positions given they aren’t all business critical? Those were the parameters set. Not your personal opinion or wishes. Reducing the team by twenty percent means we meet the savings targets you set. Everything has been taken into consideration. Admin has major cuts with re-distribution of skills, and the PA support is reduced as well. You don’t get to have your own way just because they report to you.”
“I disagree.”
“Martin, are you going to step in here? I’m not going back to the teams who are already losing resources and good people because Ian doesn’t like the plan.” I stand my ground and stare at the Managing Director.
“Jessica, if Ian says he needs the sales team for the recovery, we need to take that into consideration. You’ll have to re-evaluate and see what you can come up with. We should be finalising this now, not going back to the drawing board.”
“Excuse me?” I narrow my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. “This has always been the proposal. If you didn’t like it, one of you should have taken it up with me before we got to this stage.” My temper all but boils over. I can’t believe I’m listening to this, because one of the big suit’s wants to keep his staff.
“Jessica, don’t make this harder. I know you can work with Ian on this to get to a solution.”
“With all due respect, I’ve done nothing but work on this, and if we take the line Ian is proposing, it will be damaging to the rest of the organisation. We need to consider the next two years, recovery and then…”
“Growing the sales to support the organisation needs to be the priority. You need to get on board, Jessica. Really, Martin.” That earns Ian a raised hand from Martin.
“Just get it done.” Martin stands and leaves the room without a backward glance. I can practically see Ian puffing his chest and preening his feathers after that display. My laptop receives the brunt of my anger as I slam the screen shut and exit as soon as humanly possible.
I make a pit stop to my office before racing out of the building. If I see either of those twits again, I know I’ll say and do something I’ll regret. I’ve never been made to feel like my opinion is of no importance before, or that I need to bend to the whim of the senior management, and it isn’t something I want to see in my future.
“Arrr!” I slam the door to my house shut as if it was the one who blindsided me in that meeting. I march to the kitchen, grab the tonic from the fridge and the bottle of gin from the shelf. I pour a large measure and drink it down, far too quickly, but I need something to settle my rage.
I drink the remaining gin as I throw together a makeshift dinner of pasta and sauce. I spear each tube of penne as if it had caused me actual bodily harm. The tomato sauce is boring, bland and tasteless on my tongue, but it will serve its purpose of stopping the alcohol from hitting me too quickly. The ratio of food to drink is still a little off, but right now, I don’t care.
One large glass turns to four, and the kitchen is now the lounge. The television isn’t much company, and the gin is compounding my mood. I leave the last of the bottle on the small table and trudge up to bed, ready to put the day behind me.
Despite the gin-binge last night, my head is clear when I come round in the morning. It’s still early as my alarm hasn’t woken me and I take the time to gather my thoughts. Everything was meant to look better in the morning. That’s what everyone said, wasn’t it? It’s a shame it wasn’t always true. I school my negativity and try to find a way to get through the day and what I now need to accomplish thanks to Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
I let out a deep sigh. I’ve kept my emotions out of so many parts of my life that now that I’m finally letting them back in, they are invading other areas. I used to be able to handle a conference room of men. Now, I want to scream and shout at the injustice of it all. I need to get the fuck on with it.
I turn to my side table to grab my phone, but it’s not there. My fingers search for my watch. “Shit!” It was late, and my phone was probably still in my bag, on the floor where I threw it last night. I fling the covers back and dive in the shower.
Forty-five minutes later, I pick up my bag, root for my phone and see a red slither of battery still left. Two text messages and a missed call from Luc light up my screen, and I internally curse at how I’d left things once again. We still hadn’t cleared the air, and now it looked like I was ignoring him.
I’m sorry. Running late. Will call and explain everything.
I promise.
I plug my phone in when I reach my office and sit back in my chair. I fire up my laptop and leave to get the one thing I’ll need before I’m any good to anyone. Luckily there is a great kiosk outside the building, and I order a large tea to take away.
My inbox is miraculously quiet except for a few emails. Two from Martin make me sit up and pay attention. The first is copied to both myself and Ian, setting out how he wants a new solution by the close of the week when we’re back from New Year. The second was an almost apology. Apparently, he didn’t like the way Ian had let this proposal get so far before voicing his concerns, and he shouldn’t have done it the way he did. It didn’t make me feel any better. The time for saying that was yesterday.
My phone is out of the red zone so I unplug and scroll to Luc’s details and tap to call him.
“Hello.”
“Hi.” There’s a few moments of awkward silence, but after everything, I’m too wound up to let that bother me. I said I needed to be all in for Luc and so that’s what I’m going to do. “I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch yesterday. I had a really shitty day and by the time I was home and had a couple of drinks. I needed to sleep. My phone was still in my bag so I hadn’t realised you called until this morning.” I stop for air and let Luc digest my explanation.
“Okay. That covers yesterday. Anything you’d like to add about stopping me at the door and not inviting me in?
“I told you already. I had a great day with you. I haven’t done that with a guy in such a long time. I didn’t want it to end with sex. I wanted our date to be different. Special. It was my stupid idea of how to make it, you know, more. That’s it. If you don’t like it, then tough.” There’s another pause, and I wait for the argument. It doesn’t come.
“Want to tell me about work?”
“Oh, it’s just fucking fantastic. Ian, Mr. High and Mighty Finance man, seems to think he can do what he chooses and blow my hard work back in my face.”
“That good, huh.”
“It will get resolved. Just not in the next day. This is going to be hanging over my head until after New Year.”
“Are you doing anything to celebrate?”
“I’m not sure. At the moment, I’m not feeling in the party mood.”
“I have a su
ggestion.”
“Go on…”
“I’m having a few people over to my place for New Year’s Eve. I’ve invited Seb and Izzy. You’d be welcome. But the weekend after, I want you to come to Solace with me—as my sub.”
After Luc mentions Solace and sub, I forget everything else he said. The thought of going back with Luc is terrifying and erotic. I’d be the one that was under his hands, feeling any and all of the pain and seductive pleasure he wanted to give. I close my eyes and try and get a handle on my thoughts as they skip ahead to being with Luc.
“What do you say, Princess? Ready to go back with me?” His smoky edge promises the seduction and the sex I fear I’ll never be tired of.
“Yes. I’d like that. I want that.”
“Good girl. What about New Year?”
“What about it?” I search my memory for what he said before he offered up the treats.
“Eager as ever to get to the good stuff. I’ve invited a few people to celebrate at my place. I’d like you to come.”
“That sounds… nice. Thank you.”
“I’m going to let you get back to work now. If you’d like to get anything off your chest, I’m here.” His offer is something many people—friends—would say. But coming from Luc, it sounded new and different. I liked it. The stranglehold I kept on my heart was slipping through my fingers, but I enjoyed the benefit.
“Thank you. Will you text me the details for New Year’s?”
“Sure. See you soon.”
“Good morning, The Clark Practice, how may I help you?”
“Hi, I’d like to make an appointment to see Dr. Cross today or tomorrow.”
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