Drew shows up a few moments later with my margarita. I thank him with a smile. He’s got his beer in hand. Sitting down next to me, he takes a long swig. Before he can say anything, Kip shows up first, then Ade and Cass, making their way back to our seats. I swear I see a flash of jealousy in Cass’s eyes upon witnessing Jax and his newfound “Wendy”.
I stow it away because she takes the hint and leaves. He slumps down taking a long pull from his beer.
“So do you guys want to check out the VIP section?” Ade yells over the music.
“VIP section?” My face puzzles.
Huh, I should’ve known there was one. This club is too nice to not have one. Kip looks at me in disbelief, and points his finger for me to turn around and look up. There’s a room with dark purple lighting and a wall of glass windows that expands the length of the club.
“Yeah, VIP section Mackenzie,” he yells. “You in?”
I turn back around in my chair and nod my head yes.
We set our beverages down, and walk back to an alcove I hadn’t seen before. There’s a bouncer standing guard in front of a red velvet rope leading upstairs. Jax and Kip talk to the bouncer, hand him some money, and motion for us to follow them up the stairs.
Walking into the lounge, it’s clear this is just as classy as the downstairs, if not more so. Up here you can hear the music, but can also hear yourself talk and think. Instead of all white couches and benches, there are black plush chairs surrounding glass tables that look similar to the ones from the first floor. In place of a long white bench, the left corner wall has separate tables with tall booth seating surrounding them so it’s more private. The bar is similar to downstairs as well, other than striped bar stools; they’re all a solid black. Similar theme, it seems, with the cobwebs that glow in the black light. It’s much more dark and private up here, and I kind of like it. We slide into one of the large circular tables with Drew and I in the middle; Jax, Cass, Ade and Kip on either side of us.
HOURS LATER, I spot Sammy again. Is she following me? This time upon locking eyes with me, she starts toward our group. No way. I tap Cass on the shoulder so she can let me slide out. Contemplating my state of inebriation, Sammy stands before me—in all of her tall blonde perfectness.
“Hey Mackenzie.”
“Sammy,” I tell her stiffly. I may be feeling looser, but she doesn’t bring out the cheerful drunk in me.
“Can we talk?”
Everyone at the table has halted their conversations and taken an interest in ours. Out of the corner of my eye, I see random characters milling about.
“No, Sammy we can’t. Now’s not a good time, anyway.” This was a night out for fun; my good, confident mood is slowly draining.
“Mackenzie, I really need to get some stuff off my chest.”
“Well then. Whatever you have to say you can certainly say it in front of them.” I point my thumb over my shoulder indicating our table. In the back of my mind, a voice is screaming at me informing me of the numerous reasons why this is a bad idea.
“I’d really rather not.” Her eyes are pleading with mine.
“I don’t care what you’d rather not do. Say what you have to say and be done with it.”
“Sis, come on—” Kip’s voice is dripping with disapproval at my rudeness. I cut him a look that stops him completely. He raises his hands in surrender. The server up here has taken over our tab from downstairs and brought us another round. I take a gulp.
“Mackenzie, please? I know this is a terrible place to be having this conversation, but it’s eating me alive. I have to tell you what happened.”
“No.”
“Well, can we meet up tomorrow and talk about things?”
Suddenly, I flip. The anger and hurt I’ve been harboring towards her explodes. My voice rises in volume shakily, “No we can’t. There’s nothing for us to resolve. You want to talk? Fine, let’s talk. Let’s talk about how you were supposed to be my best friend, how I trusted you with everything I had, how I came to you when I was too embarrassed to go to anyone else—”
“Mackenzie—”
“I’m not finished, Sammy.” I take another drink and set it harshly on the table behind me. “You wanted to talk, that’s what we’re doing, isn’t it?!” I tell her, sarcastically.
Ade interrupts, “Mackenzie, babe. Maybe you should take a breath.” I turn around to look at her. I see the concern etched all over her face. I can’t help myself; it’s out there. I’m angry and the control I have has disappeared.
“No Ade, it’s fine really,” I tell her in an eerily calm voice. I spin back to see Sammy’s face. “You.” I point at her. “I trusted you. I fucking trusted you—”
“I know you did! That’s why I’ve been trying to talk to you. Why do you think I accepted the job when your father offered?” she cries out to me.
“To be a constant reminder of what a shitty friend you are; that’s the only thing currently coming to mind.”
“Let’s go talk in private, please. I’m begging you.”
I completely lose it. “Oh? Like your sister begged my fiancé on her hands and knees in my fucking bed?! The sister you knew had been fucking my fiancé for months, Sammy—months. The same sister you felt more of a fucking loyalty to? Is that what you want to “talk” to me about? Well, let me save you the trouble. I don’t care how sorry you are—you were like a sister to me and instead you chose your piece of shit actual sister whom you hadn’t seen in years. So, forgive me if I don’t care to hear your pleas.”
My chest is heaving rapidly once I’m finished. It’s now I remember no one knew exactly what happened. I turn around slowly with my eyes wide like a deer in headlights. I look to each and everyone one of them. Mouths are dropped open in complete shock, sympathy is strewn all over Jax’s face. He knew my feelings, he knew what happened, and he knew this was never how I intended for others to find out.
Tears prick my eyes as I run to the back corner of what I hope is a private restroom to lock myself away in. Embarrassment can sober you up, somewhat, and I’m now facing the consequences of my actions. I turn the corner finding a hallway that has a unisex bathroom. I wipe my eyes and rush towards the door. Before I can turn the door handle, a strong hand grabs me and spins me around.
“Sweetheart, talk to me. Are you okay?” Drew bends to meet me eye level with his hands framed around my face. I avert my gaze so I don’t have to see the one emotion I have enough of for myself—pity.
I brush his hands aside. “I’m fine, Drew. I’m just going to use the restroom.”
He chuckles softly, “Now I know we’ve had this talk before, Italian Job ring any bells?” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, “You’re a lot of things, but we both know fine isn’t currently one of them.” Opening the door to the restroom he ushers us inside and locks the door. “Okay no one’s around, talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. You heard everything with my embarrassing display out there.” I wave my hand in the direction of where our table was.
He tilts my chin up to look him in the eyes, “That was not an embarrassing display. That was a woman who’s held on to so much for too long.”
I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to cry. I just want to feel. “Drew, kiss me.”
He scrunches his brows in confusion and groans, “As much as I’d like to, I don’t think it would be helpful in this situation—”
I grab his face between both of my hands and crush my mouth to his. He doesn’t hesitate in the least to return my kiss.
This kiss starts out as desperation, but quickly turns into so much more. He’s sliding his tongue, caressing mine and possessing me—I just melt into him. My hands roam his body, and wander down to the bottom portion of his scrubs. He pulls back, his face dripping with uneasiness.
“Are you sure? Really sure about this?”
I answer him by crushing my mouth back to his. He has no objections this time. His hand reaches down from my neck to the hem of my dress
. He pulls it up deepening our kiss. My hormones are in an extreme state of overdrive, and my basic instincts are taking over. I have no clue what’s gotten into me. A mixture of the adrenaline and want I have so desperately for him is taking on a life of its own.
His eyes turn dark with hunger. He lifts me up effortlessly so my legs can wrap around his waist, and my back presses flush against the door. Lifting my gaze past Drew, I come eye to eye with myself. Staring into the mirror behind him, I see the red lips, the confident exterior and realize all of my issues are being held behind this costume. I’m not okay—this is not okay—but I don’t care. Boring holes into myself, I close my eyes, “Drew, right now, I just want you to fuck me.” He keeps one hand holding me under my thigh while he releases himself completely from his boxers. After doing so, he adjusts my useless, thoroughly soaked, thong to the side, lifts his other hand back up for support, and impales me.
I let out a loud moan. He crashes his lips to mine—everything zones out. Besides my vocal pleasure, all I can hear is the sound of the song Burning Desire playing through the speakers. The music is vibrating against the walls, my heart slows to the same pace of the music, his fingers tracing along my body as he’s pumping into me; it feels so unbelievable. The way he stretches me out, how he fills me; it’s the best feeling.
This is surreal. I can’t believe my actions have brought me to this. Am I ready for this? Am I ready for what this will bring? Everything is spiraling out of control so quickly leaving me breathless. The sensations of Drew inside of me, and my inner turmoil, are overwhelming.
“Kennie, you feel so fucking good.” God, that’s exactly what I need to hear right now. Against my better judgment, I can’t feel guilty right now. I’m lost to him. I’m lost to my body and the way it fits so perfectly to his.
I let out another moan; a whimper follows because of how hard he’s pumping into me—nudging at just the right place for me to find release.
“Drew, I’m so close, I’m so close,” I manage to get out.
He buries his face into my neck, and whispers into my ear, “Come for me Sweetheart, I want to see your face when you do.” He pulls back to look into my eyes. There’s such sincerity there. I’m beyond any coherent thoughts between his words and his actions. The command his tone takes on, the skill in which he surges into me. I’m spiraling out of control and before I can comprehend anything, I lose it. I come hard, I come loud, and I come long.
Sometime in the throes of my orgasm, Drew came too. I know this because he only pumped wildly into me a few more times before burying his face into my neck. I can feel his heartbeat thumping against my chest as he tries to collect his breath. My breathing slowly returns to normal as he eases carefully out of me. I regain my composure while Drew leans his head against his forearm.
What have I done?
WHAT THE FUCK have I done? Kennie’s breathing has calmed down, and I’ve set her on her feet, still holding her up slightly. This is not what I expected to happen when I came to see if she was okay—not at all. Do I regret it? Fuck no, I don’t. She might though. Did I take advantage of the situation? I imagined our first time on numerous occasions. Not one of my fantasies had it beginning with her being emotionally distressed.
I’m such an asshole.
She clears her throat quietly, stirring me from my inner turmoil. I lift my head to look her in the eyes. Buried in there is worry. Shit. I’m sure she regrets it. I feel like even more of a dick. There’s so much I haven’t been able to tell her. Hell, it’s only been three weeks. I knew I would have to tell her about my past at some point, before shit ever got this far. That shipped has sailed— very fucking far away.
She adjusts her dress, looking down at the floor. I put myself together reaching my hand to lift her chin to look at me.
“Are you okay?” I see tears brewing. One falls loose, so I wipe it away with my thumb.
“Yeah, I’m good,” she confirms, shrugging. “Will you excuse me? I’m just going to use the restroom.”
She slips by me locking the stall door.
I look at myself in the mirror, and quietly curse myself for this. There’s no going back now. All I can do from here on out, is show her how good we can be for each other.
“Drew?” I turn around to look at her. “Can you give me a moment alone, please?”
“Of course. I’ll just be right outside.”
“Thank you.”
Leaning against the wall in the dark hallway, I replay every second with Kennie. How willing she was, how in the moment she was, the sounds she made, the way she smelled, the way she threw caution to the wind, how aggressive she was.
Kip’s going to fucking kill me.
She opens the door, glancing up at me. Her cheeks flush. Clearing her throat she walks past me and back towards everyone else. They’re all still conversing, although Sammy’s now nowhere in sight. I can’t believe the shit revealed with Kennie’s confrontation.
I’m no moron. I’d guessed it had something to do with her ex, and like everyone else, I was sure cheating was involved. But this? This chick being like a sister to her, and clearly fucking her over in that aspect, sucks. I’m in such shit. I have so many things I need to get off my chest. I feel I owe Kennie an explanation—she needs to know who she’d be getting involved with. But if I want to make things work with her, she’s going to need to know about my past…I don’t know what the fuck to do.
Walking behind her, I place my hand at the small of her back causing her to walk faster. This would normally offend me, but I know she’s got a whole lot of shit running through her mind. When we approach the table, Kip slides out, coming towards his sister. He says absolutely nothing—he just throws his big brotherly arms protectively over her sensing it’s what she needs. She collapses into him, burying her face in his chest. This beautiful creature, standing before me, had just revealed to everyone what’s been haunting her.
I see her body racking, and I can only assume it’s with sobs. He brushes her hair making shushing noises, and as I get closer, I hear him.
“Mackenzie, it’s going to be alright. Shh, you’re fine. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
With no more words left to say Jax, Ade, and Cass ease out of the booth, one by one. It’s clear the night’s over. I want to grab Kennie’s hand; I want to comfort her, I want to be the one with my arm around her—however, I know it’ll only cause more confusion, rather than be a solution right now.
Heaving a big sigh, I follow everyone else down the stairs. Jax walks down beside me, clapping me on the back. He gives me one simple nod of understanding.
If he only knew what that one gesture really meant.
AFTER SAYING OUR goodbyes, my brother and I head into our place. I volunteered to stay and hang back with Kennie; to make sure she’s okay, to talk about what happened, to see how I can get through to her. She quietly refused any offers I upheld. Luckily, no one realized how awkward she was acting towards me. I’m sure they all believe it has something to do with Sammy. I decide to myself tomorrow, I will be over there to straighten things out.
“Bro, are you okay? You’ve been acting really strange ever since you and Mackenzie came back.”
If I were to be obvious to anyone, it would be my brother. He’s goofy, very much a ladies man, and may say crude shit, but he’s one of the most intuitive people I know. I can’t tell him what happened though. That would be like breaking some kind of confidentiality with Kennie. I’m not sure where she stands with what happened, but I’ll venture a guess telling people are off limits. He’s my brother, and I could tell him, however, I’ll keep the last shred of dignity I have left.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just shocked at what Kennie blurted out about Sammy. It’s pretty fucked up.”
He walks down the hall towards his bedroom stripping out of his green attire. He comes back out a few minutes later with just his boxers on. I take off the top of my doctor scrubs and chuck it in my room from my doorway. We both head to the living room plop
ping down on the couches opposite each other.
He lets out a huff. “I agree, man. That was some shady shit her friend pulled.” He props a pillow behind him, resting his right arm on the back of his head. “When she told me about it, I really thought Sammy was coming back to just make her life harder, but after tonight, I’m not so sure.”
I stretch, placing my hands behind my head leaning back when his words find clarity. “Wait. Did you say when she told you? What does that mean? You knew before tonight?” Now, there’s an edge to my tone.
He clears his throat realizing his mistake. “Uh, yes. Remember when we went into my office to talk the first day that Sammy chick came back?” I nod at him wearily. “Well, she broke down and told me then. She made me promise not to say anything. I would’ve told you, really I would’ve, but a promise is a promise. It seemed really important to her, so I respected her wishes.”
Anger surges through me. I try to remain calm mulling this over. Why would she tell him and not me? What makes her so fucking comfortable telling him her secrets?
“Why you?” I blurt out.
He scrunches his brows, “Why me, what?”
“I mean exactly that. Why you? Why would she tell you, and not Kip? Or Cass? Or even Ade? Why you?”
I’m pissed. I have no right to be, though. Who Kennie chooses to tell her business to is her own, but I can’t help the fact that it irks the shit out of me. To know my brother is the only person she feels she can confide in, definitely pisses me off.
“Whoa, chill your tits,” he shoots back at me smoothly. “You know she and I don’t see each other like that—ah ah ah—” he holds his free hand up to stop my interjection. “I don’t have an answer for you. I don’t know why me. Have you ever stopped to think that we didn’t live here when she was going through all of this shit? Did you think maybe she had all of them seeing how poisonous her relationship really was? How about that she could’ve possibly been completely fucking embarrassed by it all?” He sits up and leans his forearms on his knees. “Whatever happened with her, it’s plain as day she’s lost a piece of herself.”
Ending a Broken Journey Page 14