“I didn’t say it made sense. I’m not her, so I can’t speak for her ass backward actions. I can only speak for myself and admit my faults.” Inhaling a deep sigh, I state. “Please forgive me.”
She stares at me for a long moment. Her crystal blue eyes used to smile when she looked at me, now they cloud over with contemplation.
While she mulls over my apology and everything in between, my memory kicks into overdrive. I pull out my wrapped Christmas present from the inside of my jacket pocket—the gift I was never able to give her.
“Kennie, I didn’t get a chance to give this to you, and what you saw of it, was shattered. So, here you go.” She reaches her hand out and tears off the wrapping paper. Her hand goes to her mouth.
“Drew…”
MY HAND SHAKILY moves from my mouth and grips the frame. He kept this picture for this long? It’s been over eleven years. I can’t believe he still has it.
“Do you always come here? Like every day, every other day? Angry? Sad? Mad? What’s the deal?”
“Do you always ask so many questions?”
“Well, inquiring minds do want to know.” I closed my journal. This was the second year since moving that the Dean’s had come back for a visit. To break away with my thoughts, I would come here. I wasn’t sure if my hormones were kicking into over drive, or if real feelings had started to develop for Drew. I had to get away this morning, so I came to my stomping ground; the trusty swing set that held my secrets.
“If you must know, I do come here often. I like it here.”
He looked around at the screaming kids running and playing. “You like all of the kids screaming?” he questioned, walking over to me. He placed himself in the empty swing beside me.
“Well, no. But for the most part it’s pretty quiet. It’s a playground. When I come here to write, everything else just…tunes out.”
“Huh. That’s interesting.” He swung slowly back and forth, staring at me. It started to give me a tingly feeling. I felt my face start to heat up. “Why’re you blushing?”
“I’m not.
“Yeah, okay.”
“So,” I decided to change the subject. “You excited for the holidays?”
“I’m excited to be back here, if that’s what you mean.” I wondered if he meant ‘back here’ as in ‘seeing me’ but I wasn’t brave enough to ask.
“Hey, I have an idea. Since this is like ‘your spot’ why don’t we take a picture?”
I looked at him suspiciously. “I don’t have a camera.”
“Oh ye of little faith. I brought one. I’m on vacation, remember? Although I used to live here, I still do the tourist thing.” I raised my eyebrow at him. “Okay, maybe mom asks that I take pics if I go anywhere, I’m sure she would want one of us together.” He winked at me, and my stomach fluttered. I was just about to ask who was going to take a picture of us, but he stopped a couple walking by. “Excuse me! Would you mind taking a picture of us?”
They stopped and smiled. I heard the woman say to the guy she was with, “Oh honey, aren’t they just adorable?” She sighed, “Young love.” The man walked over to us and took the camera from Drew.
Drew grabbed my arm and placed me in his lap with his arms around me. The man called out, “Ready?”
Placed in Drew’s lap, I nodded excitedly—but not too excitedly. “On the count of three,” he announced.
Right before he snapped the photo, Drew placed his chin on my shoulder, which caused me to turn my head and look down. He was giving me a full on grin, so naturally, I reciprocated.
“Aren’t you two absolutely adorable,” the lady said as she came walking up.
“Mommy! Daddy! Come play with us.” Two cute little boys came running up to the man. He handed the camera to her, when she handed it to us; she leaned in. “You two make a beautiful couple.”
Before either of us could correct her, one of the little boys tugged at her hand. “Come on, mom!”
“Alright honey, I’m coming.” She waved and walked off.
“You hear that, Sweetheart? We make a beautiful couple.”
I rolled my eyes at him. He laughed in response.
I never got to see how the picture turned out. I’d forgotten all about it, actually. Now looking at it, the man all of those years ago was able to capture us in our most raw form. Staring at it, I understood what the lady was saying. We not only looked like a couple, but a couple in love. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. It’s true. I never paid attention to the angle of the photo, but right now I could kiss the man who took it.
This picture is one of the reasons I love photography so much. Pictures speak to you when words aren’t able to express. They hold so much, and even if for just one moment you felt the happiest, or you deemed life perfect, or it was a last goodbye—it’s that exact moment in time which can never be taken away. If a person is ever lucky enough to have proof of it, like I do right now, it makes it all worthwhile. In the black vintage frame, sat my depiction of one of the best moments of my life, one of the first times in my life I could describe true happiness.
“All of these years…?” I manage just above a whisper.
“Yeah…all of these years later.” He scoots closer to me and takes my hand in his. “The color faded with time. I had a guy make it black and white to minimize the aged affect.”
“But, you can see my journal was blue?”
“Oh, I had him keep that as the only color. It signified, well signifies, a huge part of who you are and I wanted it to stand out.”
“It sounds like you put a lot of thought into this.”
“I did. I kept envisioning your face and the reaction you would have after seeing it.” He rubs his thumb in small circles on my free hand. “I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you—ever.”
My gaze falls back onto the picture of us when we were teenagers. “It’s perfect. It’s the most amazing present I’ve ever been given.”
When my eyes reach his, I notice some of the spark gone. I know he’s hurting, maybe even more than I was. Forgiveness is one of the most impactful things you can give to a person. I don’t feel I would be able to move forward with myself if I didn’t learn to forgive—in all aspects of my life. I’ve been on a streak today, and three for three doesn’t sound half bad. But, I need to clear some things up first.
“Drew?”
“Yeah?”
“How long were you two married?”
He scratches his chin. “Hmm…Almost eight years?”
“And was it ever good?” I’m not sure bringing up this subject when he’s trying to apologize is the best thing to do, but I need to know.
“Honestly? Not really. We’d been together since college; marriage seemed like the next step for us, even though we argued constantly.”
“Did you ever have doubts?”
“Yeah, I did. But once upon a time, she was a great girl. I guess I held on to that.”
“What happened? I’m sorry I’m being so inquisitive.”
“No, it’s fine. You should know. Six years and many…many arguments later, I found out she’d been cheating on me with her boss. It’s so cliché, really, but it happened. When I told her I was done, she thought she could manipulate me. See, she was very spoiled and self-centered.”
I snort.
He laughs. “Hard to believe, huh? Well anyway, after almost two years of separation, dad told me about merging his business with Elijah’s and I saw it as my opportunity to a fresh start. I told her I was leaving, had the paperwork drawn up, and told my lawyer to handle it. I knew I’d be working with Kip and there was a chance I would see you. But thinking about seeing you again, and then actually seeing you again, was the light at the end of my tunnel.” He leans back and crosses his hands behind his head. “And that’s my story.”
I mull over all of the information he’s given me. The admittance of his failed marriage and having to deal with dishonesty himself, the thought of it being over for him, but her delusio
n of a union still intact. And the answer is simple. Realistically, it always was.
“I forgive you, Drew.” He lets out a deep sigh and places both of his hands to my face.
He sits up, leaning in closer. “Kennie, I love you.”
I place my hand on top of his and whisper against his lips, “I love you, too.”
He moves in and places his warm lips to mine. We start off slowly, reacquainting ourselves with each other again. With ease, my lips mold to his. Moving together in sync, he slides his tongue slowly into my mouth. I set the frame down on the side at the same time he lifts me into his lap. He leans back against the couch with me straddling him. I pull back for a brief moment.
Drew’s eyes bore into mine before he admits, “This past week has been hell.” His hand lifts to push my hair behind my shoulder, leaving his thumb to lightly graze my jaw. “I really do love you. Probably even before I knew what it truly meant.”
I giggle, “I love you, too.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you?”
“Again.”
I can feel my eyes crinkle as the corners of my mouth lift in response to his request. “I love you.”
“It’s official. I’ll never get tired of hearing that.”
I lower my face back to his and nibble his bottom lip. “Good, because I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying it to you.”
That confession causes a grin to spread across his face. He adjusts himself underneath me, so I wriggle a little above him playfully. He runs his hands up and down my back. “Fuck. You’re beautiful.”
“You’re not so bad yourself, you know.”
His chest rumbles with laughter. The dimness is his eyes have faded bringing back the light I learned to love so much. He keeps one hand rubbing along my back. “Kiss me.”
“I was going to, silly.”
He points his finger to his nose. “Here,” he says through a smile. Leaning in, I place a peck on the tip of nose. “And here,” He points to his left cheek, I kiss. “And here,” He points to his right cheek, I kiss. “Mmm, don’t forget here,” his voice softens and eyes darken when he points to his lips. I move closer at a languid pace.
Pausing an inch away from his lips, I feel his breath mix with mine. It’s almost more intimate than kissing. His gaze holds mine and it’s such an intense rush. We’re so close, but not kissing; staring, but taking no action. His pace lessens along my spine as he waits out his desire. I can literally feel how turned on he is, and right now it’s a battle of wills. I break the tension, “Oh! I almost forgot, I have to give you your present too.”
His expression is priceless, “Now? Right now you have to give me my present?”
“Yes, silly. Hold your horses, I’ll be right back.”
I had a lot of time to think of what I wanted to give to Drew. Knowing how much he loved his car, I could’ve given him a little replica of it, but I wanted it to be memorable…So, with the help of Ade and Cass, I explained to them what it was I wanted to do for his present. They both cheered their excitement for me, then helped me on my search. I walk calmly to my room and shut the door. I then scramble to my closet taking my clothes off and pulling out the outfit Cass and Ade helped me put together. It’s a light purple lace bodice, with a maroon lace fabric as a necklace, a darker purple long-sleeved mini jacket with white flaps and cuffs. The jacket had a connection to it that wrapped around underneath my chest and down to my purple knee high boots. I finished it off with a maroon colored lace glove on my right hand, and a faux gold shoulder to wrist arm cover on the left.
“Kennie? Are you okay?” Drew yells from my living room.
“Yeah, I’m good, I’ll be right out.” I yell back. I take a deep breath and open my door before I can wuss out.
My heels click against the floor as I walk down the hall, I pause, “Merry Christmas, Drew.”
“Merry…” His voice trails off as he assesses my outfit, “Wow, just…wow. You look fucking amazing. What is this?”
I smile. His reaction is exactly what I’d been hoping for, “Do you remember when you came up with the nickname, ‘Sweetheart’ for me?” I move towards him slowly. When I reach him, he leans his back against the couch to take all of me in.
Nodding he confirms, “Yeah, your first gamer name ever.”
“And do you happen to remember, why you felt that name was appropriate?”
“Um, it was,” he swallows loudly when I straddle him, “because of the character you picked or something wasn’t it?”
In the most seductive voice I can muster, I lean in close and whisper, “Yes, that’s right.” I lightly bite his ear before sitting up straight again. His eyes graze over my whole outfit again, and realization dawns on him, “Holy shit…”
“Mhm,” I nod my head for confirmation.
“You’re present to me was dressing as Ivy from Soul Calibur? Woman, you are simply amazing.”
“Well it wasn’t just the outfit. I was going to seduce you, too.”
“Were you now? How so?”
“I was going to find it in me to strip tease for you.”
“Well I’m all about that, go right ahead, Sweetheart.”
I take another deep breath, reaching behind him to my table. I grab my IPod, which is connected to my surround sound, and press play. The first song that comes on is, ‘Psychotic Girl’, by The Black Keys. With every ounce of confidence I can muster, I lift off of him and start swaying my hips in tune to the music and running my hands through my hair. Slowly, still in tune to the music, I pull off my glove; finger by finger and toss it lightly at him. He places his hands behind his head, completely relaxed and from what I can see, turned on. He grins from ear to ear as I continue to move around taking off different items of clothing with as much sex appeal as the song exudes from me. Admittedly, I was completely nervous to display myself out there, but not with Drew. I feel as sexy as this song is. My boots and bodice are still on when he decides to stand and smash his mouth to mine. I let out a soft moan.
He pauses and cups my face, “This won’t be the only time you do this, right?”
Smiling from ear to ear, I respond, “Not if you want to see it again.”
“That is happening again. Two, maybe three, times a week. I get to help pick the outfits, too.”
I wrap my arms around him to continue an assault against his lips, my heartbeat racing at his words. His stubble rubs against my skin, but the raw feeling just spurs me on. Removing my hold, I reach to unbutton his shirt with a frantic pace. He helps me by undoing the last couple and stepping back to take it off. I grab the hem of his undershirt and whip it above his head. I take him in unabashedly.
He’s gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. I trace my finger along his tattoo and smile. Vive ut vivas—Live so that you may live. I get it now. Chances, no matter how big or small, need to be taken. You never know what greatness you will find if you don’t live.
He takes his hands and runs them slowly one by one up my legs to my thighs, and around my hips. His index fingers move to the back of my bodice to unzip me slowly—his eyes never leave mine. I shimmy it off of me and step out of it.
Shirtless, hair a sexy tousled mess, and nothing but pure male instincts radiates from him. He leans into me and his touch is like fire, burning me with desire every spot he lingers on.
Drew’s tall frame towers over me, so he bends to place light feather kisses on my shoulder, to my neck, to whisper in my ear, “You are so damn sexy,” before continuing the same sensual assault to the other side. I arch my neck up to see him take a step back placing his fist underneath his chin. “Hmm, this simply won’t do.”
My face flushes red. “W-what won’t do?”
“I’m not naked along with you.” Chuckling, he asks, “Want to do the honors?” He lifts his arms wide in question. I slip my fingers to his belt, loosen it, then move his slacks and boxers down in one movement, leaving me on my knees once they’re all the way down.
“Kennie, what
are you—”
I take him in my mouth. Moving back and forth, taking him in as far as I can go, then with slow suctions easing his cock out in pulses. I use my hand to cover what my mouth cannot. I hear him moan with pleasure and peer up at him to see his head thrown back. He grabs a handful of my hair as I quicken my rhythm.
Letting out low moans, I continue to work him in and out of my mouth. When I pull him all the way out, preparing to take him back in, he puts his finger underneath my chin so I look up to him. His eyes soften, then darken just as quickly. He helps me get to my feet, guiding me by my waist, he sits back down on my couch and helps me prop my knees on either side of him.
Before I can ease myself down on him, he chuckles, “Uh-uh.” He nods his chin up. “Climb up here and sit on my face, beautiful.”
My insides tighten, and in between my legs dampen more than it already had at sucking his cock. I move off of him to remove my boots first, but he stops me.
“Oh, please keep those on.” He smirks at me.
On shaky legs, I shift upwards until my knees are on the back of my couch and I’m hovered right over his face.
“Much better,” he confesses, before his tongue takes an achingly slow lick right in between my folds.
My head drops down to look at what he’s so masterfully skilled with his tongue. My knuckles turn white from gripping the edges of my sofa. I begin panting when he starts using circular motions at exactly the right spot. I yell out in pleasure, which drives him to move faster.
All I see is a mess of brown hair moving back and forth, moaning in pleasure as he licks, sucks, nibbles, and pulls. My arms shake from the tight grip I have—barely containing myself. My hips start to move in motion with his tongue.
“That’s right Sweetheart, ride my face.”
Before I can say anything he goes right back to licking, only this time pumping two fingers into me as well.
“I’m so close, oh my god, I’m so close,” I breathe out.
Using the back of the couch for balance and completely losing myself, I scream with pleasure, feeling myself coating his mouth, his face, his tongue. He grips my legs to keep me from falling over. My legs are jelly. I feel boneless as I slide down Drew’s body, sweat dampening both of us.
Ending a Broken Journey Page 29