by Frank Russel
'They did the Mayan's proud,' said Max.
That was the day the Colombians were banned from visiting Mexico.
'Agreed,' I said to Max, but I noticed that Donald Trump neither endorsed nor criticized it. It was the first press conference when he only used his hands for communication.
'Another coffee,' asked the waitress, a tiny thing with massive knockers.
'No,' I said, 'but how about a Tiger beer in my room?'
'I'm knocking off in five minutes,' said Trang, who had full lips and silky black hair that said pull hard from behind while doing doggy.
'See you in an hour,' said Max, who gave me his blessings, 'I'll organize our trip to Vang Tau and hotel arrangements. Don't be late,' he added, 'we catch the hydrofoil in exactly two hours.'
I have a real mission.
Max just raised his eyebrows.
He knew what it was before I even blurted it out.
Like me, he was a big fan of Animal Planet.
'Steve Irwin never...'
'...wrestled a wild Kimono Dragon,' said Max, 'it was domesticated and drank milk from the owner's palms.'
Tell the world that, I said.
Bima is comfortably situated in a narrow protective bay surrounded by gentle hills on the eastern side of Sumbawa, the next island east of Lombok.
About an hour away by boat, northeast of Bima out in the Flores Sea, is Sangeang Island. It's a double-barrelled volcano. It's something that instantly connects to a Hollywood movie poster, maybe The Island of Dr. Moreau. It hasn't blown its cone like Mt. Tambora on Central Sumbawa did over two hundred years ago and which is now just a giant sagging caldera, a testament to its climate shattering explosion. But if it ever does, be prepared for another summer without sunlight.
'Get on with the story,' said Max.
The next island over is famed for the kimono dragons.
'For fuck's sake, I don't want a travelogue, now what were you saying about Black Sumba.'
I'll get to her soon, Max, but what I was trying to tell you that it's only a boats ride away and is the sanctuary that Steve Irwin filmed his kimono dragon documentary for Animal Planet.
'Got it,' said Max, 'didn't he take his skank of a wife.'
Steve's father was also on that mission, I said. And I heard while Steve was fucking the locals, his old man was promising his son's wife the Zoo if she would only accommodate his manhood.
'You mean he was fucking her.'
Something like that.
Who could you believe? If you found it on the internet.
'So that's why she had the film of him being stung by a stingray destroyed.'
'Yep,' I replied, 'she loathed Steve and if she was ever going to get ownership of the zoo, she needed him dead.'
'Are you saying his death was a setup,' asked Max.
Most likely. I'd say he was shot in the heart by a speargun. And the man behind that spear gun was no other than Steve's father. That explains why the skank wanted the footage destroyed.
'Well fuck the dragons,' said Max, 'let's get out of the hotel room and see what Bima has to offer for two lonely dirty old men.'
Now that he put it that way, I had just the place in mind.
Oh Bima, my dear Bima.
'Stop the reminiscing,' said Max, who was keen to see what special skills Back Sumba has.
Many I said.
And I knew the exact street that she worked.
Look out for her big titted friend, I said to Max, as we navigated ourselves outside the hotel.
But seriously, I said to Max, let's explore the town and let our readers have a feel for the place.
'How about we take a boat ride to that mysterious island you spoke about.'
Max always comes prepared.
'We got that fast speed boat moored at the marina.'
'You mean the ferry terminal where boats leave for either Suluwasi or Sumba?'
Yes, yes absolutely right said Max who was getting irritated with my slow response to say yes, to say yes to another adventure.