by Kyle Baxter
“How am I doing? God, I don’t know. I mean, I miss him terribly, but . . .” He heard his voice break, and he sat back and took a moment to collect himself. She let him; her eyes smiled at him. He pulled out his professional demeanor and said, “You know, it’s funny. When I first saw you, I thought you two were dating. You looked so good together—”
“Dating Frederick? Yuck!” She laughed heartily and kicked her heels away. He decided he really liked her. “I was in love with his brother Alley. Alois? Frederick is sweet and he’s always been very special to me, but he’s like a younger brother. His family asked me to appear next to him at events.”
Joel gave her a lopsided smirk. “To be a beard?”
Her head moved back and forth as she weighed that. “Yes and no. There’s always a public appetite for the love lives of royals, especially someone like Frederick. He’s handsome, he’s wealthy, and he appears out of nowhere after years away? The papers love that stuff. I was there to be a kind of buffer for him, give him space from unwanted speculation. I wanted to be a friend.”
“Is that fair to you?” It didn’t sound fair, but she sounded like she almost volunteered for it.
“Alois was the love of my life, and I will do anything to help his little brother.” She leaned forward, dangling her glass in one hand, she looked directly in his eyes. “I’m glad he has someone who loves him as much as you do.”
That was extraordinary. His chest swelled. He felt honored. “Does he know you’re here?” His voice was almost a whisper.
“No, Frederick would not approve. This was just to satisfy my own curiosity—and have some fun. I hope I haven’t overstepped.”
“It’s fine. I’m glad he has you in his life too.” Joel held up his glass and they clinked them together again.
Julia set her glass on the table and stood up. “Frederick misses you very much and suffers a great deal without you.” After picking up her heels, she headed to the door.
“How do you know that? You said you only see him rarely at public events.”
She looked back at him. “You can tell when someone you love isn’t happy.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Where the Streets Have No Name
“You’re not trying hard enough.” Astrid jabbed the marker at the dry erase board, making little dots. Pictures of European business leaders were taped to it, and colored lines were drawn from each to printed labels. Some said fashion, environment, and labor disputes.
“I am trying.” Frederick groaned. “This is just not in my wheelhouse.” He pushed the pile of books off of the desk in front of him.
“That was mature. If you insist on acting like one of my children, I’ll treat you like one. Inga has better manners.” She crumpled up a piece of paper and tossed it at him. He batted it away and they both stared daggers at each other for a half-second before they broke into laughter.
Standing, Frederick then walked to the window and looked out on Altstadt. They returned to Etreustein a week ago, his European tour a big success as far as these things went. The public and the media loved him.
Getting used to the attention was a strain. In the Regiment, you avoided the press. Now he was supposed to court it. It was a difficult transition. They wanted photoshoots. It was odd. Not for the first time today, he wished Joel were here to help manage it all. More pop-culture savvy than him, Joel would know what to do.
They even wanted shirtless photos of him wet and emerging from a lake. What was the point of that? I really need my Spider Boy.
“Why don’t we take a break?” Luc suggested. “Would anyone like a beer?”
“Yes, please,” Astrid said. “But before Karl gets here, we have one more thing to discuss.” She pulled a thick folder out of her satchel and handed it to Frederick.
He opened it and perused the contents. “This is the proposal from Hector Hernandez’s clean fracking company. Why is this here?”
“Father—the king—wants to go ahead with it, but we need your okay.” She shifted from one foot to the other. This ask made her uneasy. Why?
He scanned through the pages. “Why does it need my approval?”
“Look at the land they found the shale deposits under.” Reaching down, she grabbed the folder and then flipped through it to the last page. She cursed under her breath and handed them back to him. “They hid it in the back, hoping you wouldn’t see it.”
His eyes bugged out as he saw the location. “That’s under Alois’s winery,” he spat. “Fuck that.”
“That was what I hoped you’d say.” Astrid let out a sigh of relief. “But Father is determined.”
“That is messed up. He wants to destroy Alois’s work and pollute the environment in the process? No. Hell no.” He put a hand to his head. What was his father thinking? “Why does he even need my approval?”
“Alois left the winery to you,” she said. “Mind you, with support from Parliament, Father could take it, but it would be underhanded and messy. And it would be a PR nightmare if word got out. They hoped they could get you to do it this way.”
“This way,” Freddie said, crossing his arms in front of him, “is also underhanded. The answer is no.”
“This would end any potential deal with Hernandez.” She looked down. Joel’s father would not get the deal he wanted.
“That is . . . immaterial. It’s not the right thing to do,” he said. “For many reasons, not only because it’s under Alois’s land. I did study up on this, and I’m not convinced it’s in our long-term interests. Short-term, the money looks good, but the potential impact to the environment makes it a nonstarter.”
“I agree,” she said and sat next to him. “But because it involves our friends . . .”
He put a hand over hers. “Joel wouldn’t want us to take this deal either. I’m sure of that.”
She put the folder back in her briefcase. “I’ll tell Father. He won’t like it, but I don’t care. It’s the right decision.”
Luc returned from the refrigerator and handed a beer to them both. Frederick took a long drink, then walked to the back and let Kaiser out of his room. The dog was too big of a distraction for him during his lessons and was crated. They moved over here from the castle two days ago at Luc’s insistence; he thought the atmosphere would be better.
So far that didn’t pan out. In the Regiment, there was always things to study, details to learn, maps to memorize. They taught him Arabic, for God’s sake. He had a far easier time with that than he was having with this. I am just not a businessman.
“I’ll be back.” Frederick put the leash on the dog, and they took the elevator down to the street. As he left the building, he gave a grudging nod to the security guards. Permanently stationed here now, they were a direct consequence of the attack on the shelter.
They took a long walk, and he let the big dog wander where he would, snuffling and investigating seemingly every smell there was in the town. Cleaning up after the dog, he stood and recognized his surroundings. They were in front of the Sonne Hotel. Scheiße. He avoided this block since Joel left. His heart ached; he missed Joel so much.
“Let’s go, boy.” He led the dog back to his flat.
❖
Luc still waited in his loft with Astrid, but now Karl had joined them with his ever-present aide-de-camp. Good, everyone’s here.
“Hullo.” Frederick gave them a stiff nod as he let Kaiser off his leash. The big dog immediately rushed to investigate Karl’s chair. He used it more and more lately. Freddie feared what that meant.
“Astrid and I were talking,” Karl said. “We’ve decided . . . We want to have a word. You know your sulking is not going to make things better.”
“I am not sulking.” Freddie sat down hard on the couch. He couldn’t help the smirk from quirking up one side of his mouth. Karl was trying to do an intervention. He had no idea why he was here, why they asked him here.
Kaiser, done investigating Karl’s chair, dutifully trotted over and put his head in Luc’s lap
. The faithful retainer obliged him with head scratches.
“Yes, well, I’ve known you since you were a child. You don’t think I know when you’re miserable?” Karl asked, taking a sip of his hefeweizen.
“I am not—” Freddie stuck out his lip. “And I do not do such things as sulk or mope. I’m a proper prince. I brood.”
“Yes, we know, Frederick,” Karl said sternly, giving Frederick a cockeyed stare. “You rarely leave this flat. You isolating yourself was the exact opposite of the reason we let you move your lessons over here.”
“Let?” Freddie’s eyes opened wide. “Karl, I am doing exactly what is asked of me, for my family and for my country.” He sat up straight. “So back off. And I am not miserable—I am hopeful.”
“Do tell.” Karl took a swig of his beer.
“Should you be drinking, sir?” Luc asked, indicating the elder prince’s beer.
“Take it from me,” Karl challenged him. His aide looked skyward and gave a little shrug.
“I’m good.” Luc returned to nursing his own beer.
“I suppose you’re wondering why I called you here?” Frederick grinned. He never thought he’d get to use that line.
“Yes, I am.” Karl angled the chair to face his younger brother.
“We plan to confront Father and get him to change the House Law governing succession. We want him to allow Astrid to take the throne.”
“Is this about your little friend?” Karl raised a thick eyebrow.
Frederick sat up quickly. “I don’t like your tone. And he’s hardly little.” That made Karl’s aide chuckle. What was his name? “No, this isn’t about him. This is about me. I do not want to be king.”
“Do you think I wanted to be king?” Karl asked. Freddie looked at him in shock, but he continued. “No, I did not, but it was my duty. I long ago sublimated my desires to that.”
“That is sad. I am truly sorry for you,” Freddie said. He had no idea. “But my mind is made up.”
Karl studied his face. “I can see that. I had a feeling this was coming, and I envy your determination. I wish I had the strength to make that choice at your age.” The aide put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, and Karl put his own hand up and touched it. He saw Frederick’s shocked face and laughed. “You thought you were the only queer person in the family? I’m nearly fifty years old. Why else do you think I wasn’t married?”
“I . . .” he stammered and shared a glance with Astrid, but she was as amazed as him. Karl was much older than them both, always the adult, like another parent, and they never gave any thought to his desires in all this.
“I have fallen in love, before. I was just never allowed to be with them publicly.” Karl’s eyes watered. “Now that I’m no longer crown prince, I may have that chance again.”
Freddie was agog. Was this aide Karl’s boyfriend? His mind reeled.
“So you will help us convince Father?” Astrid sat forward.
“Will you pursue your American?” Karl stared hard at Frederick.
“If he’ll still have me.” Frederick looked away. “I followed him to the Louvre. I believe he was meeting his sister there, but she intimated he didn’t want to see me.”
“That may be my fault.” Karl sat his beer bottle on the coffee table. Frederick reached over and put it under a coaster. “I had a long talk with his father. I informed Hector Hernandez that the only way his company could possibly get the fracking contract was if Joel did not see you again.”
“You did what?” Frederick’s hands shook in anger. “Why was I not told this?”
“It was during the party at the castle the night before the attack on the shelter.” Karl’s face clouded. He looked embarrassed and shrank is his chair. “I apologize. I didn’t realize you actually loved him. We thought it was a dalliance.”
Freddie took deep breaths to calm himself, then said through gritted teeth, “They will not get the fracking contract, so your ploy was a failure, but—” He remembered that last night in the hotel together and that look he saw pass over Joel’s face. “He knew. Joel knew about your threat.”
“I don’t see how—” Karl started and then shared a glance with his aide.
“There was the sound of a cell phone in the hall,” the man said.
“Scheiße scheiße scheiße,” Frederick spat. “Karl, you Schweinhund.”
“But is Joel really the kind of man who would sacrifice his own happiness for his family’s?” Karl’s brow furrowed. Frederick wanted to laugh. He wanted to punch him.
“He is,” Astrid interjected. “Joel is exactly that kind of man, Karl. Why did you do this?”
Their elder brother’s voice dropped low. “Father ordered it. He was desperate to separate them.” He turned back to Frederick. “He feared you’d throw away the crown for him.”
“Well, you succeeded in separating us and I’m still giving up the crown one way or another. Another plan that failed.” Frederick put a hand to his chin. “I wonder why Joel wouldn’t tell me about this?”
“I suspect because he thinks it is what’s best for you,” Astrid said, “If he’s willing to give up his own happiness for his family, he’d hardly want to come between you and your family.”
“That’s very true.” Frederick took a long sip of his beer and set it on a coaster on the coffee table. “And Joel was right. He isn’t meant to be part of our world.”
Luc narrowed his eyes at him. “He really said that?”
“Yes, our last night together. He was parroting something Denis said to him,” Frederick said.
Luc made a hmmm sound, then, “Why did he say it, do you think?”
Freddie shook his head, his heavy brow furrowing. “I don’t know . . .” He looked at his feet.
“Think, Frederick,” Karl pleaded. “This is your future we’re talking about.”
“Why on earth do you care?” Freddie almost shouted. “Suddenly you’re on hashtag Team Joel? This change of heart is very curious.”
“You’re right.” Karl squirmed. “You have no reason to trust me, but at the moment, you need my help. I will have to earn your trust, but I am still your brother and I want you to be happy. If that means I help you and Astrid in your plan and help you get back together with your friend, then that is what I will do. The crown should have gone to Astrid to begin with.”
“At least we agree on that,” Frederick muttered, but he couldn’t look at Karl at the moment.
“I think you should know . . .” Karl continued. “You’ll want to know. We’ve kept an eye on Joel and his family. Your friend is not happy. Like you, he’s not done much more than mope around his hotel room in Rome.”
Frederick’s head shot up. “How do you know that?” He wanted to jump out of his skin. He wanted to get on a plane and fly to Rome.
“Their family did stay in our house in Paris, and we have people in Rome,” Astrid told him.
“Yes, we have our ways,” Karl said smugly. Again Frederick felt like hitting him but forced the impulse down. Karl repeated softly, “Frederick, why did Joel say he isn’t meant to be part of our world?”
“I think he does feel that way,” Freddie said. “He’s worried he isn’t worthy. I think he wanted reassurance, and I couldn’t—I wouldn’t—give it to him.”
“And why on earth would you do that?” Karl asked. “Were you trying to break it off?”
“Yes, I was.” Freddie took a deep breath. He kept coming out about his condition and it was never easy, but he owed Karl at least some explanation if he was going to help them. “I have PTSD. I have night terrors. I’m afraid I’m going to have a nightmare one night and hurt someone—hurt him.” He said it in a rush, fearful he wouldn’t get it all out. “I couldn’t live with that. I’m scared . . . and I’m damaged goods.”
“We are all damaged and scared, Frederick . . .” Karl took another swig of his beer and gestured to his wheelchair. “Hell, I’m fucking terrified. Every morning when I wake up, I take inventory.”
F
reddie’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“The first thing I do when I wake up is check and see what I can move or not. It’s a little survey I do to see what works and what doesn’t and what, if anything, I can feel today. How are my tremors today? The thing is . . .” Karl choked off a sob. His aide put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
They all sat in silence for a long time. Karl reached for a handkerchief to wipe his eyes, but his tremors made it hard. His aide moved to help him, but he pushed his hand away. “Leave me be—it’s fine . . . Thank you, Giancarlo.” Karl took a deep breath and continued. “The thing is, some days my inventory doesn’t take very damn long. So you see, my little prince, I understand feeling like damaged goods.”
“Thank you, Karl,” Frederick said. “I’m sorry.”
“Of course, I suspected this was the case, your PTSD,” Karl said. “There are options, therapies and the like. We will support you in your recovery. Do you plan to pursue Joel?”
Frederick looked him in the eyes. “I have to. I love him.”
“Just so.” Karl gave him a wan smile. “Now, how are we ever going to change our father’s mind and make Astrid here the queen of Etreustein?”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Babe
“I don’t know if I’m ever going to get used to this.” Enrico slid into his desk. “It’s nice but odd.”
Joel was back home a week now and on time at work every day. More, when Enrico arrived, he was already deep in the zone. He’d like to pinpoint when exactly his oversleeping stopped, but he wasn’t sure. Was it because of Frederick or because of losing him? Somewhere on that wild vacation, something changed within him.
No, that’s ridiculous.
Julia’s visit still haunted him. Obsessively, he mulled over everything she told him. Prince Fredrick is dour. Joel ached. Freddie was unhappy without him, as he was unhappy without Freddie.
They loved each other, and Joel was not getting over it. To his mind, such things as soulmates were silly, romantic nonsense. Something for TV shows on the CW. But when he did think about forever, he thought about Frederick. He was his other half. The problem now was what he should do about it. He needed to talk to his father; he’d waited long enough.