Cassie was trying to place the voice. “Merry Christmas,” she said hesitantly.
“Oh, you beautiful child, you. This is Sydnee Lee Hoffman. Do you remember me? You helped out in our orphanage on Cozumel last year.”
“Oh yes, of course. It’s wonderful to hear from you, Sydnee. How are the boys?”
“Multiplying.” She gave a throaty laugh. “Five and counting. Well, six if you count Brooks, which you kind of have to, since he’s a big old child himself.”
Brooks was Sydnee’s husband. He was a big, tough guy, larger than life, wealthier than anyone Cassie had met, and head over heels for his gorgeous Southern wife. He and Sydnee had met when she’d volunteered for several weeks at the orphanage he self-funded on Cozumel. Cassie had loved her time spent there, as the staff was well-paid, happy, and loving, and the children were thriving and adorable in the beautiful, spacious facility. Brooks, Sydnee, and their four boys, three of whom had been adopted from the orphanage, were regular visitors. It sounded like they’d had another boy since last year.
“Are you ever going to get a girl?” Cassie found herself asking.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. It’s not for lack of trying, I tell you what.” She laughed again, and Cassie couldn’t help but laugh with her, though she found herself blushing at the implication. “I’m so sorry to bother you on Christmas Day, but we’re in a pickle, love. We’ve been praying ourselves hoarse, and your name came to us. Brooks said to me, ‘You know, love, you know that girl is a straight-up angel. If anybody can help us, it’s her.’”
Cassie had spent her life helping, but she was suddenly terrified. Jed’s handsome face and warm blue eyes danced before her. She’d have to leave him much sooner than she’d planned. She could feel it. “What can I do to help?”
“It’s a mess. Brooks and I have the boys here in California. His adoptive mother isn’t long for this world, and he wanted to spend one more Christmas with her. Rosmerta, Camila, and Katie promised they could handle everything at the orphanage, but—you won’t believe it, Cassie love—Katie is down with the flu and three of our four guards have disappeared. Unless Brooks or José are there, two guards are supposed to be on the property at all times to protect the children from traffickers. Only one showed up for his shift last night, and nobody has come to relieve him. The rest are probably drunk and passed out somewhere. They came highly recommended but sometimes …” Her voice was heavy with disgust.
The trafficking in every country in South America had become an ever-pressing problem, and Cassie had heard the stories of Brooks and Sydnee’s orphanage being targeted. Sydnee herself had been taken at one point before Brooks rescued her. They were vigilant about protecting the children.
“José has promised to get there for added protection, but he’s taken his wife home to Mexico City and they can’t get back until late tonight. And the real kicker, but oh so exciting, is Rosmerta had her baby early. Isn’t that beautiful? I just love new life.”
Cassie was trying to keep up with it all, but as the story spilled out, all she was getting was that they needed her help … now.
“Could you come for a couple of days, love? We’re bursting at the seams right now—four teeny ones still needing bottles, and twenty-eight others under the age of twelve. It’s too much for Camila to handle on her own, no matter how amazing she is. The guard who’s there is exhausted from being up all night, and not much help with the kiddos. We’d fly our jet to you. Aren’t you in Colorado? It could be there within two hours. As soon as the pilot gets you to the orphanage, he’ll head for Mexico City to bring José and his family back. Just a couple more days until Brooks and I will be there and relieve you. I know it’s a lot to ask. I hate to ask it of you on Christmas.”
“It’s fine. Sydnee, it’s fine.” It was not fine. Jed and her family were here, and she was going to ditch them all on Christmas Day. “Send the jet to Vail’s private airport, and I’ll meet your pilot there at …” She glanced at the alarm clock. “Nine-thirty my time.”
“Oh, Cassie.” She could hear Sydnee sniffle. “Thank you. You’re heaven sent. Truly, thank you. We’ll make it up to you. I’m going to bring you lots of gifts, and heck, we’ll fund your next ten years of missions if you want.”
Cassie smiled, sadness tracing through her. She didn’t need gifts or anyone to fund her missions. Heath and Gavin did that. “Keep your gifts. Save them and your money for the children.”
“Mwah.” Cassie heard Sydnee imitate a kiss. “Thank you. Many blessings to you and your family. We’ll see you in a couple of days to hug you properly.”
“See you soon.” Cassie hung up and sank onto the bed, bereft and chilled. She hugged herself for warmth.
It was only a couple of days. Her family would understand; she’d done this to them on numerous occasions, rushing out on or missing some event because someone needed her. Would Jed understand? She forced herself to stand up and pack a bag. She didn’t know. She was afraid to find out. Yet maybe this was exactly what she needed to have happen. They needed to cool this romance train that was only gaining steam and threatening to run away with their hearts.
She threw stuff in her bag and then hurried to make herself presentable. She was happy, she was going to help Sydnee and Brooks and the children out. Their orphanage was full of love and sunshine. It would be great. So why did she feel so awful?
Chapter Nine
Jed waited impatiently for Cassie to return from using the bathroom. Had she decided to shower? Had she decided she didn’t want to be with him and run away? He shook his head at himself as he stirred orange juice for Mama. He was always the confident one, always in control. It wasn’t completely true, as he never felt like he was enough, but he was a big fan of “fake it till you make it.” His confidence and cool head had become kind of a joke at the department: nothing could ruffle Beckham. Well, this beautiful brunette definitely could ruffle him. He was a mess for her. He’d let her see a vulnerable side of him that not even Heath knew existed. He didn’t care. He’d reveal anything to her, if only it would keep her from leaving him.
He frowned and kept stirring.
“What did the orange juice ever do to you?” Austin asked.
Jed jerked and noticed half the family watching him. Cassie still wasn’t back. He chuckled uneasily. “I just like it really … frothy.”
“Cool.” Austin nodded. “I’m excited to try it frothy too.”
Jed put the whisk in the sink and carried the orange juice to the table. He loved how this family worked together, either preparing or cleaning up meals. There was so much love here, and they weren’t afraid to share it. Incredible people.
All the food was set on the table, and everyone seated themselves. Jed’s stomach was uneasy. Where was Cassie? Was it his place to volunteer to go look for her? It was on the tip of his tongue to offer when she rushed in through the hallway door.
“Hey, sorry.” She walked around the large table and sank into the open chair next to Jed. She looked beautiful with her dark hair smooth and long, and her outfit was a flattering striped sweater and a pair of tights. But the look on her face scared Jed. Something was wrong.
“No worries, sis,” Austin chirped.
Papa winked at her. “Lots of worries. I’m starved.”
Everyone laughed. Papa rarely ate much at all, and Austin was the one who was always starving. They all joined hands; Jed clasped Cassie’s hand on one side and Stetson’s on the other. Papa said a short but heartfelt prayer of gratitude for the Savior, family, friends, love, and an overabundance of blessings and good food. They echoed their amens and started piling the skillet, French toast, and fruit onto their plates.
“I can’t believe you’re even hungry,” Ella teased Austin. “I saw you downing chocolate Santas from your stocking.”
“You try and keep up this physical physique.” Austin flexed and then shoved in another forkful of the skillet.
“I got a call from Heath,” Mama informed the table.
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Everybody quieted to listen.
“He found Hazel …” Mama grinned. “And she loves him and told her family she’s marrying him and moving to America.”
“Yes!” There were cheers and more conversation centered around Heath and Hazel. Jed was thrilled for his friend and listened in as Mama shared more of the conversation.
Cassie had said nothing to Jed, instead quietly filling her plate. She took a long sip of orange juice and stared around at her family. Jed shouldn’t have been studying her so openly, but he couldn’t resist. She was so intriguing and beautiful, but why did she have a sad, longing look in her eyes? Because she knew she’d have to leave them all in a week? His mind was spinning with ways to talk her into staying, maybe actually moving to Park City, but guilt surfaced with every argument he thought to make. Who was he to take her from her life plan? Nobody, that’s who. He poked at his French toast, his appetite evaporating along with his hopes.
Conversation flowed easily around him and Cassie, but between them was a black hole that he didn’t know how to launch himself across. He forced food in his mouth, laughed when everyone else did, and was miserable. It made him mad at himself. This was his dream, being next to Cassie and part of a huge happy family on Christmas Day, and he wasn’t even enjoying it. Mama’s thoughtful gifts and inclusion had meant so much, and here he was, acting sulky. He tried to forget about himself and focus on the family. It almost worked, if only Cassie didn’t seem so withdrawn.
Breakfast passed quickly, and then they were cleaning up. He glanced at the clock. It was a quarter to nine. Dishes were clattering, and everyone noisily discussed whether they wanted to go skiing this afternoon, do another hockey game, or go use all the therapy pools at Gavin’s spa. Jed silently voted skiing or therapy pools, although he’d happily make a fool of himself on the ice again, if he could hold Cassie’s hand.
“I have to leave,” Cassie said quietly.
Jed whipped around, praying he’d heard her wrong. She was looking at him, and the pain in her deep brown eyes hurt him. No one else had heard those horrific words, but Jed felt them all the way through his body. She’d said, I have to leave, but it felt like the worst pronouncement of his life. It felt like he was being ditched, kicked out of the family, told through other’s actions that he wasn’t worthy of love, like he’d experienced too many times throughout his life.
Cassie blinked quickly and tore her gaze from him. “I have to leave!” she yelled to be heard over the din.
Conversation ceased. Austin dropped a bowl. It knocked loudly against the wood floor but luckily didn’t shatter. He picked it up. “Sorry.”
“What did you say?” Mama asked, staring at Cassie with concern in her dark eyes.
Cassie’s gaze darted to Mama, then back to Jed. “I’ve got to fly to Cozumel. There’s an orphanage there. I can’t even explain all the things that have gone wrong with the staff, but basically they’re down to one lady, one guard, and thirty-two children. They need me.” She focused on Ella. “I’ll be back for the wedding.”
Everybody erupted with questions and surrounded Cassie. She was hugging each of them in turn, apologizing to Mama and Ella, who kept telling her it was okay, they were so proud of her, she was amazing, et cetera, et cetera.
Jed’s heart was walloping against his chest. Cassie was leaving. She kept saying she “had to,” so maybe it wasn’t that she wanted to ditch him, but it still ripped him apart. He’d had one blissful day with her, and now it was over. Trey and Ella’s wedding was New Year’s Day. Maybe he could have that day with her as well, and then it would be back to Park City and being married to his job and sustaining himself on the memories of Cassie. Maybe she’d come visit Heath sometime. She and Jed could go skiing or mountain biking together, go out to dinner. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough.
“Jed?” Gavin was calling to him through the fog. “Can you drive Cassie to Vail, to the airport? You can take my SUV.”
“No,” Cassie protested.
“Sure,” Jed said at the same time.
Cassie looked uncomfortable. Jed should’ve backed away, let Gavin or Stetson drive her, let her spend time with Ella and Trey. He selfishly wanted that twenty minutes. He would never be worthy of someone like Cassie. She gave to all. He selfishly wanted to take any time she would give him.
“I’ll just … get my suitcase,” Cassie murmured.
Gavin came over to Jed and inclined his head. “I’ll walk over with you to get the car.”
Jed hated that he didn’t even have a vehicle here. The whole trip was unplanned and unexpected, and no matter that he didn’t have his own clothes or car and felt like a freeloader, he’d loved the time spent with Cassie and her family. The next few days here without Cassie sounded like no excitement at all. Should he leave? With the Ollivers out of town and him not having work until January second, he’d only have remodeling projects, exercise, checking in on Will, and maybe finding a friend to ski with to keep him busy. He’d rather stay here and pray that Cassie hurried back to him.
He and Gavin walked over to Gavin’s house, crunching through the snow. It was still snowing outside, and Jed said, “Will she be okay flying in this?”
“Yeah.” Gavin was pretty quiet, but he muttered, “Are you okay letting her go?”
“Not really, but what choice do I have?”
Gavin acknowledged that with a quick bob of his head. They walked into the side door of the garage, and Gavin opened the Lexus’s door and pushed the garage door remote. It slid up silently. “The keys are in it. Good luck, man.”
Jed nodded. He needed more than luck to keep Cassie close. He needed a miracle. Yet all those children at the orphanage needed her too, right? He wished he dared offer to go with her. If she asked, he’d go in a heartbeat. He was humble and thought he’d do anything for her, but he wasn’t going to beg if she didn’t ask.
He climbed in the driver’s seat, waved to Gavin, and backed out of the garage. The drive over to Mama’s took about two seconds. Cassie was waiting on the porch with a suitcase.
Jed jumped out and hurried over to take the small carry-on bag.
“Thanks.” Cassie hugged Mama one more time and ran for the Lexus as if she had to rip herself away.
“See you soon,” Jed muttered to Mama.
Mama gave him a look that he couldn’t distinguish. “Be sweet with her,” she murmured.
“Of course.” Jed was a little offended that Mama would doubt him, but it wasn’t as if she knew him that well. His only recommendations were his friendship with Heath and his involvement in bringing down the mobster who had threatened Hazel. Yet Mama had treated him as one of her own. Maybe her warning to be sweet was more focused on her worries about Cassie.
Mama gave him a brief squeeze. “I have a great feeling about you, Jed Beckham.” She released him and gave him a little shove. “Go now.”
Jed jogged to the sport utility and slid in the driver’s seat. He pulled out, noticing that Mama stayed on the porch, watching them go. As they rolled down the long drive and then through the narrow slot canyon, he stopped to wait as the gate slid open and finally let himself stare at Cassie like he’d wanted to. Tears were sliding down her smooth cheeks.
“Cassie.” He put the car in park, leaned over the console, and gave her the best hug he could.
She leaned into his shoulder, sniffling. “Sorry. I’m okay. I’m okay.” She pulled from his embrace and brushed the tears away. “We’ve got to go. Let’s go.”
Every instinct was telling Jed to turn around and force her to stay with her family, with him, but he understood responsibility; he faced it every day. So instead of saying anything, he put the vehicle back into gear and drove through the gate. They drove around past the ski resort, which was busy even though it was Christmas.
They drove quietly into the valley, past the near-deserted downtown section and past fields and farms and the river snaking through it, all without saying anything. Cassie sniffled occasionally,
and he kept glancing at her. Finally, as they drove up the other side toward the mountain pass, he got brave enough to ask, “Are you sure you want to go?”
“No,” she squeaked out. She shook her head and her shoulders straightened. “But those children need me. I can’t leave Camila alone like that, and on Christmas.”
Jed didn’t even know what to say. If he convinced her to stay, he’d be the devil himself. He asked instead, “What’s the orphanage like?”
She started describing the well-appointed orphanage, the generous founders, and even told him a bit about their love story, the boys they’d adopted and how they’d gone on to have two of their own. Jed enjoyed her anecdotes about the larger-than-life Brooks and the sassy Southern belle Sydnee Lee.
“You can’t just call her Sydnee?” he asked.
“Have you never been to the South? Every woman’s middle name is Lee, and you never leave it off.” She winked at him and seemed to be doing better.
Jed was enjoying every minute of being around her. “Will the children in the orphanage have presents?” he asked, thinking about Christmas mornings where he’d had none as a child. As they drove into Vail, he was looking around for a Wal-Mart so he could send a bunch of toys and treats with her.
“Oh my, yes. Brooks loves to spoil everybody. I’m sure they’ll have presents stashed for me there.”
Jed felt relief wash over him, but it fled quickly and his chest got tighter and tighter as they approached the private airport. Cassie had instructions and the right codes to press to get through the gates. They drove to hangar forty-two, where a sleek white jet was waiting. Jed had been around Heath enough to know that there were people with money who were as good as they were generous. But he’d also spent some years around Brigham London and his crowd, and that kind of money made him sick to his stomach.
As he shut off the car, the door to the airplane lowered, and he could see that there were steps built into it. A man in a starched-looking pilot uniform descended the steps. Jed climbed out of the Lexus, but Cassie was too quick; she already had her door open and was walking over to greet the pilot. Jed went for her suitcase instead. He grabbed it out of the rear hatch and walked over.
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