by Naina Gupta
Worked like a charm. I’m free! Meet you in five minutes.
‘Mum, my friend Neela lives near here. Let me out, will you?’
‘Oh, my poor girl. You need your friends at a time like this. Go, go. Call if you need a lift.’
Fifteen minutes later, the trio of conspirators – Neela, Kajal and Priya, sat in Neela’s Mini.
‘You are brilliant! As we were leaving I told everyone about the missing money and Hiten tried to say it was for poor kids but my dad said that he had clearly spent it on the slut and told Hiten’s dad to write a cheque then and there to avoid further scandal.’
‘So you’ve got your money back too.’
‘Neela Solanki, you are the best Indian engagement wreaker ever.’
‘Technically, I am probably the only one, but thanks.’
‘And you Kajal, thanks to you too.’
Kajal just gave them both a funny look, took the cash Neela offered, and got out of the car.
‘What’s with her?’
‘Who cares?’ Neela said. ‘She’s a bit simple. Let’s talk about settling my fee, shall we?’
Chapter T hirty
RUPALI HAD BROUGHT HER friends along for a shisha and a beer. Mother or no mother, if this guy turned out to be psycho, she wasn’t going to sit down at the same table as him.
She didn’t even know his name. Supposedly, a red carnation in the button hole of his jacket would identify the correct person. Who the hell wore a jacket with a button hole to a shisha place? Rupali had grave doubts about this meeting, but as her mother had pointed out a little too bluntly, Rupali had few marriage choices, now that she had been revealed as a ‘special film star’. Even so, her friends had almost staged an intervention to get her out of the house. With her marriage off, Rupali felt that being out in public would only lead to people whispering about her.
Checking her watch, Rupali told her friends that if the guy hadn’t shown up by 9:10 p.m., they were leaving. Her friends, excited by the romantic notion of a secret admirer, told her to have a drink and relax. The bar, despite being a dive, was crowded with the usual number of Thindians, who were flicking their perfect hair back and forth, trying to attract any man who looked in their direction. Rupali stared at them in disgust mixed with jealousy: she used to look just like them.
So drinking was exactly what Rupali was trying to do when Disha, who had become a firm part of their little group, arrived, out of breath from having to catch a bus from some other bar job she’d been at, and froze at the sight of someone across the room.
‘What?’
‘Shit. It’s that Neela. You know, the de-arranger.’
They all turned to see a beautiful young girl sitting in a corner booth, with an amazingly handsome man.
‘He looks familiar.’ Rupali’s friends couldn’t place where they had seen him.
But Rupali didn’t care about him. This was the girl who had ruined her marriage plans to the love of her life.
‘I am going to have a word.’
‘Rupali, listen . . .’ Disha tried to stop her, but Rupali shrugged her off.
‘She ruined my life. Let me go.’
Rupali picked up her handbag and walked slowly towards Neela and the man. Just as she was passing, she reached out and grabbed a lock of shiny hair and pulled it, hard.
Neela started screaming. ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ The guy with her sat open-mouthed, obviously wondering what to do.
Pulling Neela’s head up so that it was close to Rupali’s ear, she said: ‘You ruined my life, you bitch. Now you have to pay.’
The cute guy finally reacted. ‘Stop that! You’re hurting her.’ He tried to drag her away, but she was too quick for him, and dragged Neela across the lounge. All the guys around them started to shout and cheer – they didn’t know what was going on and they didn’t really care. Anything for a bit of fun, especially if it concerned two hot girls.
Suddenly one of the managers, a large bald guy, grabbed both girls by the arms and led them outside. ‘There is no fighting here,’ he said in a loud booming voice. ‘Now get out and stay out.’
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Neela asked Rupali, rubbing at the burning sensation on her scalp.
‘What am I doing?’ Rupali shouted. ‘What are you doing, you evil cow. You broke up my marriage!’
They had been having a perfectly nice time, her and Navin, staring into each others’ eyes and toasting to Neela’s latest business success. And then the psycho bitch had stomped over, wrenched her hair and ruined her night.
Now, as the altercation continued, Neela looked Rupali up and down. She’d never seen her in person, but Jai had provided enough photos for correct identification. The prettiness was all but taken over by a general lack of attention to detail; she had obviously stopped caring about how she looked. Spots all over her face, baggy clothes (and not the fashionable kind), wasn’t wearing any make up, her eyebrows hadn’t been done in about a month and there were bags under the zombie eyes. If only V could muster that much commitment to looking bad for Girish, Neela might not be here right now, trying to reclaim her hair from the hands of a nutter.
‘Look, Rupali–‘ Neela said.
‘Oh, so you know who I am?’ Rupali grabbed and twisted Neela’s hair around her hand and pulled it again.
‘Oww! Stop it! Listen, it was just a job.‘
‘Just a job? JUST A JOB?! It wasn’t a job to me! I was in love with Jai, and you had to ruin it for me.’
‘You’d only known him for a few weeks.’ Neela tried to talk some sense into the girl. ‘He was a player. That part was true.’
The deluded girl wasn’t listening. ‘You don’t understand him like I do!’
Neela was really getting fed up. She shoved Rupali off her, and falling backwards, the bunny boiler landed in a pile of garbage. ‘Get it into your thick head, he hated you. You called him a hundred times a day to check up on him; you told him you loved him one day after meeting him.’
‘You know that?’ Getting up, Rupali dusted herself off and stared at Neela, horrified. ‘We were going to get married. Married people fall in love. That’s what you say when you love someone.’
‘Not straight away, you dumb bimbo.’
Neela didn’t notice that Navin was now standing by the door to Bazaar, listening.
Rupali slapped Neela across the face and before she could reciprocate, Rupali had grabbed her arm and twisted it so hard that Neela was now on her knees in pain, feeling the gravel of the pavement dig in through her trousers. ‘You had better sort this out before I kill you. Everyone saw that DVD cover you created.’
‘I don’t know what you are talking about.’ Given Rupali was officially crazed, Neela decided playing dumb about the sordid details was probably a good idea.
‘Like you don’t know what I’m talking about,’ Rupali said, twisting Neela’s arm harder and harder.
‘I don’t.’ There was a strain in Neela’s voice.
‘Let me refresh your memory. You got a foul porno DVD and put my face on the cover. Then you gave it to a stall in Wembley, and shamed me in front of everyone. No one will marry me now! No one!’
It was hard not to feel some sympathy for the girl. And it was never her intention to stop Rupali from marrying at all. That’s why she’d already lined up Girish. God, Girish! Neela needed to get Rupali cleaned up and into the bar before he turned up. ‘Look, I’m sorry, okay. But I can help you find someone else. Someone better than Jai. Someone who really loves you. Why don’t we go to the bathroom and fix you up. I’ve got some concealer you could use.’
Rupali let go. Neela was bent over, nursing her arm. ‘Look at it this way. I wasn’t saving him from you ... I was saving you from him. He’s scum, I knew it from the first moment I saw him.’
‘But–‘
‘Come on, Rupali, you know it’s true. You might love him, but he only loves himself. He came to me, paid me to get rid of you. I did it, but he started it. Do you want someone like tha
t?’
Thinking about this for a good five minutes, Rupali finally told Neela that if she didn’t meet anyone else, Neela’s own reputation was in the firing line. ‘If I am left on the shelf because of you, I will tell the whole world about your filthy little schemes.’
‘Trust me, you will find someone who will honour you properly. If you don’t, you can come after me again.’
‘I will.’
‘Okay, okay. Now, come and fix yourself up. Maybe brush your hair?’
Allowing Neela to led her back inside, the girls turned towards the bar, which is when Neela saw Navin. She pushed the bunny boiler through the door and towards the bathroom, handing her a brand new Touché Éclat. That was 27 quid she’d never get back.
In the doorway, Neela threw Navin a wry smile and rubbed her sore head. ‘Can you believe her? What a psycho.’
But the soap star had a funny look on his face. ‘Did you really do that? Ruin her reputation like that? For money?’
‘Well, sort of.’
‘Sort of? Either you did or you didn’t.’
‘It’s my job.’
‘Some job.’
‘Navin, you don’t understand, Rupali is–‘
‘I don’t think this is going to work.’ Navin walked away and turned towards the street, where his Aston Martin was parked.
Neela raced after him, hoping the heels on her Topshop platforms could take the strain. ‘Wait, Navin, I can explain. You saw what she’s like. Would you want to marry someone that crazy?’
His handsome eyes were looking at her with the very same scowl she had previously only seen him wear while he was jealous of Lohit and plotting with Ishika on PAL. ‘The man who agreed to marry Rupali should have done the honourable thing and told her the truth, rather than shaming her. What kind of man is he, anyway?’
Thinking of Jai, Neela shrugged. ‘A scumbag, agreed, but so what? He is a client. It’s just a job,’ she repeated.
‘But your job ruined that poor girl’s life. How could you stoop so low?’ And then, with a final sad shake of the head, he left Neela watching, open-mouthed, as the only man she had ever wanted walked out of her life.
*
Girish stood looking open-mouthed at the beautiful girl with the long hair and almond eyes. Without her usual tonne of makeup, Rupali appeared young and vulnerable and he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
He compared the photo message she had sent and confirmed it was, indeed her. The girl he was supposed to meet.
As tears streamed down her cheeks, and her friends stood around, glaring at someone who stood fighting with some guy in the door to the bar, no one noticed the pair of sunglasses fall
Girish went up to her, not realising the red carnation had fallen from his lapel earlier, as he got out of the car. He bent down, picked up the glasses, and handed them to Rupali.
‘Don’t cry,’ he whispered. ‘Someone as beautiful as you should never, ever cry.’
Even Neela couldn’t have constructed a better, more sincere, opening line.
Chapter T hirty-one
‘WHERE IS HE?’ V’S MOTHER asked crossly, as they all sat in the good room on the plastic-covered sofas, waiting for Girish Patel, fiancé extraordinaire, to put in an appearance for dinner. V longed to say she didn’t care; but there was no point. Revealing her true feelings now would only serve to devastate her family.
‘Vidya, did you hear me? Call him and find out. We can’t wait here all night.’
Reluctantly, she called Girish.
‘Hi babe!’ he exclaimed, cheerily.
He was never that cheery, but it didn’t occur to V to question it. The less contact she had with Girish, on the phone or otherwise, the better. Neela’s stupid bunny boiler idea meant she’d already had enough phone contact with him to last a lifetime.
‘Mum has the dinner ready, she is wondering where you are.’
Then his tone changed. ‘Oh, Vidya, hello. Yes, of course. Something came up. With business. I will be there soon.’
Business? Hadn’t they sold the business?
Soon forty-five minutes passed, and V didn’t say the words that her family were thinking. Girish had forgotten them.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t for good. Later, as she watched him guzzle down his food in the most unattractive manner possible, V prayed that God would intervene on her behalf before the wedding.
After all, only divine intervention could save her now.
*
Neela was living in an advanced state of hell. Sure, money was no problem now, and she’d spoken to three prospective new clients in the last week. But she’d lost Navin, V and a hell of a lot of dignity thanks to her stupid business, so she told everyone she was fully booked and to try her again in a month.
And, to add to her woes, the Kiran fiasco was still in full play. ‘It’s time to start buying things for your engagement party,’ Soorbhi told her.
‘Not now, Mum.’ Or ever.
‘When, Neela? Kiran’s mum is eager to buy your jewellery. They have been saving up.’
‘Great. How much do they have? Two pounds fifty? There might be a sale on at Primark.’
‘Neela!’
Deciding to appeal to her mother’s good humour, Neela told her she wasn’t sure about Kiran anymore. Now was as good a time as any to finally get rid of Kiran.
‘Sure? Sure about what?’
‘Sure that he’s the one.’
‘The one?’ Daadi-ji, sitting on her recliner with a box of chocolates, looked at Soorbhi in confusion.
The older Solanki women clearly didn’t understand the meaning of the one. It was a strange thing to explain to traditional parents, who believed that looking at a member of the opposite sex was a sign that you were interested in marriage. She didn’t know how to tell Soorbhi that just because you are a couple, it shouldn’t mean that you had to get married. But her family didn’t believe in the eternal search for the one. By being in a relationship with Kiran, they assumed she had made her choice. Marriage was the next logical step.
Daadi-ji and Soorbhi laughed out loud. ‘You don’t need to be sure right now, beti. That comes with time.’
It was pointless discussing it further. Without replying, Neela switched on PAL. She could pretend, even for a few minutes, hot Navin was still attainable, and didn’t hate her guts.
The sound of fake rain was getting louder, although it seemed to be sunny outside the windows of the mansion. Payal was still screaming at the family. The lookalike Payal was still lifeless on the sofa as no one had thought to call the ambulance yet. Mummy-ji seemed to have made a full recovery, and was wearing a new face of makeup. Again, the camera zoomed in on the shocked faces and lightening flashed violently in the sunshine.
Lohit broke out of his heavy-breathing state and walked over to his evil cousin Navin. ‘HOW DARE YOU?’ Lohit shouted, high emotion in his voice. He threw a punch at Navin, who dodged it, and cackled. Lohit administered another punch, and this one connected with the air about Navin’s delicately coiffured head. The evil cousin retaliated with a punch that landed to the right of Lohit’s face.
The fight was carried across the very large room, which now seemed clear of furniture.
Suddenly the storm blew the front doors of the mansion open and Lohit angrily pushed his evil cousin outside. Navin, a startled look on his handsome face, fell backwards down the steps in slow motion, and hit his head with a hard thwack on the flooded path of the huge house. The sequence of him being punched and falling was replayed five times, accompanied by yet more sounds of thunder.
‘Oh no. Navin!’ Neela exclaimed, without thinking.
Soorbhi and Daadi-ji discussed how they couldn’t quite believe how fixated Neela had become on PAL, insisting on watching every episode, no matter how many times she had previously seen it.
Neela ignored them. They were so old fashioned, how could they ever understand a thing like attraction? After all, they tried to set her up with the son of the horrible Mr Trivedi, t
he ugliest mammal on two legs.
*
Jai didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t sleep, either with sluts or on his own. He couldn’t be bothered buying hair gel, or even doing his hair in its usual slick style. Luckily his I.T. company almost ran itself, because even when he was sitting at his desk, he was hardly there.
How could it be that he was in love with her? There were plenty of girls who were prettier, thinner, richer. Anyway he looked at it, it didn’t make sense.
And the worst of it was, she was engaged to another.
And because of who she was, calling Neela Solanki to break off the match would be no use at all.
Chapter T hirty-two
NEELA DECIDED TO TRY to explain to Navin one more time, but as with all her other calls, his mobile redirected to a voicemail. Finally, she left a message:
‘Hi, it’s me. Neela. You know, from the other night. Well, anyway, I need to talk to you about Rupali. You’re right, I shouldn’t have been so cruel, and I won’t be again. I am working on setting her up with someone better than Jai, someone much more reliable. That’s why I asked you to meet me at that place, because I was trying to get them together. Surely that counts for something, right? Look, Navin, give me another chance. I’ve never wanted one before, but . . .’
Then she just hung up. What more could she say. If their relationship was over before it began, then, like Daadi-ji said about mostly everything, it was just fate.
Deciding a shopping trip in Central London might cheer her up, Neela tried to leave the house without Soorbhi noticing, but she was caught out when she tripped over Daadi-ji’s walking cane near the front door.
‘Be home in time to start the wedding plans.’
‘What?’
‘Kiran and his family are coming over to firm up the plans for the engagement ceremony. Give yourself time to dress in something nice.’ Soorbhi looked Neela’s black jeans and skimpy jacket up and down with disgust.