“Maybe sparkling juice would work, sure,” Katie agreed after some consideration and more gentle probing from Nick. “But don’t go too over the top, okay? I mostly just want to spend time and hang out with you. No gifts. No real fuss, all right? I know I only turn thirty-one once, but, quite honestly, all birthdays blend together after thirty. At least that’s what Dunja tells me. Parties are the things of twentysomethings.”
“Now that I understand,” Nick said. “I think my last birthday I was excited for was twenty-five. Then at twenty-seven, I realized how old—but not old—I really was.”
“Exactly. Ilana and I have a weird tradition around our birthdays anyway.”
“Do you need to see her? My parents live close enough to Toronto we could see her.”
“No, don’t worry.” Katie shook her head. There was a look on her face that Nick couldn’t quite recognize.
“I’m missing something, aren’t I?”
“You won’t laugh?”
“No! Of course not.”
“So one of the main reasons Ilana and I started talking was because they put us in the same therapy group. We had no idea why we were both slotted that way, until we realized we had the same date on our intake forms. March thirteenth. So every March, we get together and have one mega birthday party. Since that’s the transition day.” Katie rolled her eyes. “I know, I know. It’s just like my bad joke about being twelve, and it pretty much exploits every trope I hate about being trans—I’m not born again, I’m just doing something different now—but we like it. It’s fun to hang out on the same day and celebrate ourselves as ourselves.”
“That’s actually really cool,” Nick said. He causally put the date in his phone so he’d remember later on. For the future. The thought made him smile.
“I’m glad you don’t think it’s weird,” Katie said. “When we first started to hang out and do this, we’d also go into Toys ‘R’ Us and pick out stuff we wanted. Girl toys, you know? This March we bought some dolls we never got to have as kids.”
Though Katie smiled as she went on to describe the Bratz doll Ilana had bought and her previous indulgences in My Little Pony setups and Barbie toys, there was a hint of sadness in her eye. Nick couldn’t imagine being denied toys, or losing the parts of childhood identity, that Katie and Ilana both experienced. Katie—when she had been her previous self—had been downright forbidden to touch girl toys, even though her sister had some.
“Ilana had it worse at home,” Katie said, when Nick asked about it. “I was fine as a kid. Really. I don’t want to compose a tragedy. I mean, I was a fairly rough and tumble kid. I liked the bikes and trucks and trains and shit. And dinosaurs? Hell yes. I played with boys’ toys, and I didn’t think anything of it. I also had a sister, so I got to see the girls’ toys too. Not being able to play with those toys myself didn’t really affect me until much, much later when I realized how boxed in I was. And now it’s just nice to own my own pony set and the Barbie that matches.”
Katie pulled up an image of her and Ilana at Toys “R” Us, shopping in the bright-pink girls’ aisle. Katie’s dark hair was to her shoulders, her jawline not as soft as it was right now. She posed next to the Barbie in a riding jacket, smiling. Ilana was next in the photos, holding up a Bratz doll with dark skin like hers, and a purple streak in her hair where Ilana had a green one.
“Do you still have the pony? And Ilana her doll?” Nick asked.
“We played with them all afternoon, but eventually, Ilana gave hers to her cousin and I think I did the same with mine. We just wanted them for an afternoon, to reclaim something. Then they had served their purpose.”
Katie folded away her phone, the conversation clearly done. Their bus was stuck in inevitable Friday afternoon traffic, so Nick brought out his list for the weekend. “So I have our nonalcoholic juice, a cake recipe that doesn’t have eggs, and I have that you turn thirteen next March. Hypothetically, anyway. Anything else I forgot?”
“Oh God. I can’t believe you wrote that down. But um . . .” Katie bit her lip. “Am I meeting your parents? I know I should have asked this sooner, before we got on the bus, but I was avoiding this question until I couldn’t run away anymore.”
“Why would . . .” Nick closed his mouth before finishing his question. Katie gave him that now-familiar look that stated, This is not about you. This was about his parents and whether or not they knew that their darling gay son was dating a woman—a trans woman—and how they’d react to that piece of news.
“No, they’re not going to be there. They left this morning for my aunt’s place in Boston. Felix, the dog, is with a neighbour. They didn’t want to torture me with their early flight time, so they assured me that so long as I get there by dinner, I can go and talk to Bev next door and grab what I need.”
“Okay.” Katie nodded, visibly relieved. “That makes sense. Do they know I’m coming?”
“Yes . . . Sort of.” His parents knew he had a friend, but Nick had skipped over names and introductions. Not because he didn’t want to share her, but because it was never good to drop news before a vacation. Nick had been so blindsided by the trip, he hadn’t even stopped to consider that not telling them about Katie sent just as large of a message. “It’s complicated,” Nick finally stated. “But I will tell them about you when you’re ready. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever works best for you.” Katie nodded. She went back to scrolling through her phone again, checking for messages, and then clicked on her purple music icon. “Do you mind if I zone out for a bit on the bus? I want to listen to a playlist I made.”
Nick peeked over her newly painted fingernails and saw a few Bouncing Souls, Hellcats, and now-familiar Cobra Starship songs. Nick wanted to change the topic and talk about music, but he knew he had to fix whatever awkward moment passed between them.
“I want to tell my parents about you. I just didn’t want to do anything before a vacation.”
“I get it, Nick. Trust me. Not the first time.”
“No, it’s not like that.” Nick reached out and touched her knee, only to feel her body tense under his hand. She shot him the it’s not about you look yet again. When Nick gave her puppy-dog eyes, she finally kissed him. A soft peck, but it was something.
“I know you like me—”
“A lot,” Nick cut in.
“I like you too. I just . . . I get weird around parents. I get weird around everything to do with how people see me and what they consider me. So let’s not think about that, okay? Let’s just go and see your dog and have fun for a week. Can we do that?”
“I can do that. Yes.” Nick wanted to spill out all his feelings, but instead kissed her again. “My parents have a pool, by the way. Did I mention that yet? We could definitely have some fun in the pool.”
“Well, what do you know?” Katie chuckled. “Turns out this will be full of upper-middle-class domestic bliss. Do your parents have a Costco card? Could we stock up and play house that way?”
Nick laughed along with her. Imagining the two of them walking hand in hand down those giant aisles made him swoon far, far too much. “Sure. We can do that.”
“Great. But pools are good too. I’m into pools.”
“Good.” He kissed her cheek. When Katie went to start up her music playlist again, she handed him the other headphone so he could follow along.
“Oh my God!” Nick cried out. “I completely forgot.”
As soon as the taxi dropped them off at his parents’ house from the GO Bus station, Nick grabbed his backpack and ran towards his parents’ car. He hugged the trunk of the black Audi and slid around to hug the hood. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Katie came up behind him with her own backpack and cocked an eyebrow. “I had no idea you were so into Audis.”
“I’m not. I just miss my car. I miss having a vehicle. I didn’t think they’d leave their car here, but of course, if they’re flying, they took an airport shuttle. This means I can drive it all week. I am . . .
so floored.”
Nick would have kept embracing the car, except that the black paint meant it was nearly scorching under the hot sun. They were nearly out of the month of May, and the spring weather was already causing small heat waves that only dissipated at night. And lucky for us, Nick thought again, my parents’ house also has air conditioning.
“Which house is Bev’s?” Katie asked. “You should pick up Felix soon.”
“Right. You make a good point.” Nick led Katie to the house. Nick’s parents’ place had an enclosed porch area where Felix liked to stay when the weather was nice. A feeling of nostalgia tinged with belonging filled Nick as he slid his key in the door. His mother had changed the wallpaper in the front hall, but everything else had stayed the same and still reminded him of home. They dropped off their bags in the front hall while Nick grabbed a handful of dog treats and a leash.
“You ready to go?”
“Oh. I thought I’d wait for you here,” Katie said. “Look at all your baby photos. Maybe steal a drink while you were gone.”
“Nonsense. There’ll be plenty of time for you to do that this week. I have lots of baby photos too. Did you know I used to have a mullet? Bad decision.”
Katie smiled. She glanced down at what she had been wearing on the bus: her typical black skinny jeans and an Against Me! T-shirt with a white cardigan that reminded Nick of her jacket. “Are you sure I look okay?”
“First of all, you’re wonderful. And second of all, we’re just picking up a dog. Bev is a sweetheart and won’t talk too long.”
“If you’re sure . . .”
“I am. Very.” Nick linked their arms as they crossed down the street to Beverly and Markus Fisher’s house. They were a sweet couple whose kids had mostly played with Nick’s sister, since they were twin girls and younger. Even after their kids grew up, Nick’s parents still kept in touch with the Fishers. As soon as Nick rang the doorbell, he heard Felix’s insistent bark. When Bev opened the door, Nick had to replace the image he had of her with long, sweeping blonde hair to an image of stark-white locks in a lazy twist by her shoulders.
“Hi, Nick,” she greeted. “How are you?”
“Good. And yourself?”
Felix bounded out of the living area and pressed his nose against Bev’s leg. She gave Nick a weary look as she held his collar.
“I see you have a visitor,” Bev said. Nick was unsure if she was talking to him or the dog. “Go on, see your friend.”
Felix trotted over to Nick, who crouched to meet him with open arms. Felix was one of the presents Shannon had given their parents when they’d both reached sixty and the kids had all moved out. Though Nick’s parents weren’t the typical empty nesters like the Fishers (they had way too many activities or work to keep them busy), the structure of having a dog kept them young. At least, that was what Nick’s father said. He had taken to Felix right away, appreciating the beauty of his brown and white coat and pedigree. Felix was a full-blooded sheltie, only a touch smaller than the typical Lassie dog on TV. Felix was known to follow Nick’s father around the house, and whine if he wasn’t let into the same rooms. Felix still seemed to remember Nick from the small family get-togethers and Christmases, and he began to lick his face eagerly. Katie knelt down next to Nick, casually reaching out a hand to brush the fur over Felix’s ears. When Felix noticed someone new, he tilted his head in assessment. It took him only a moment to embrace Katie and decide she was pretty good too.
“Hopefully he hasn’t been a pain?” Nick glanced to Beverly.
“No, not at all. He’s just young. And we’re not. I hope you two enjoy him this week. Nice to meet you, by the way, dear.” Bev stepped forward and opened her hand to Katie. “I didn’t catch you name.”
“Oh. Hi, sorry.” Katie stepped forward and took Bev’s hand. “I’m Katie.”
“Nice to meet you. I’ll see you later, Nick. If you need any help finding things, let us know.”
“Will do. Thanks.”
Nick attached Felix’s leash to his collar and guided him across the road to his parents’ place and through the porch enclosure.
“See?” Nick said once they were inside. “Not a big deal at all.”
From the way she smiled, though, Nick knew it was. He had passed at least one of her small safety checks: she’d been introduced to new people. She mattered.
Nick took Felix off the leash and gave him a treat. From there, he was left to wander the house—but stayed close by Nick and Katie.
“Oh my God!” Katie cried. She came in from the living room, holding a framed photo of Nick when he was about eight. “You weren’t kidding about the mullet!”
Felix barked along, as if to agree. Nick could only laugh. So far, the week was off to a good start.
After a trip to the grocery store to stock up on materials for the upcoming week and her birthday cake, Nick gave Katie a quick tour of the house as their frozen pizzas cooked in the massive gas stove, and set up the kitchen island for a semi-fancy dinner.
“And I’m only saying it’s remotely fancy because all the dishes match here,” Nick quipped. He handed out two big plates and some cutlery he was sure was plated with real silver, before finding where his mother kept the paper napkins.
“Should we take the dog for a walk?” Katie asked. She’d already inspected the meticulous notes Nick’s parents had left for them on the kitchen’s fridge. Felix’s schedule was a little off already, since their bus had been late getting into the bus stop. It was almost ten at night now, way past Felix’s bedtime of 9 p.m., but he seemed content as long as he was around company. His crate was placed in the corner of the dining room, still visible from Nick’s spot at the kitchen island.
“Hmm, probably,” Nick said. “If he’s up late like this, he should go again. I can take him out if you don’t mind watching the oven? I’ll put him to bed when I come back.”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
“Thank you.” Nick squeezed her arm as he walked by.
As Nick wandered around the block with Felix by his side, he was floored by how lucky he was. The feeling rose from deep inside his gut and spread throughout his chest, leaving his fingers warm. For a week, he had what he’d always wanted: a dog, a house, and a partner. The partner was Katie, and that was surprising—his former nineteen-year-old self would have balked at this picture—but it felt so right. Nick couldn’t believe he had once considered Barry to be the love of his life. Now he seemed like a fleck on the horizon, something Nick was perpetually driving away from. Only this time, the distance between them didn’t hurt because now he had Katie. And when this weekend getaway faded and he no longer had the dog or the house, he would still have her.
At least, he hoped. The feeling in his gut made his stomach twist when he thought of her, and he realized he wanted to be sure she wasn’t left on the horizon, either.
After tucking Felix away in his crate, Nick stepped into the kitchen to find Katie on her phone. He slid an arm around her waist and kissed along her neck.
“Gah!” she said. “I didn’t see you.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare. You looked really sweet. And I was thinking about you on my walk.”
Katie pushed her phone away and turned to face Nick. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. And now that the pizza is almost done, we should have that romantic dinner.”
Katie helped him arrange the pizzas when he pulled them from the oven. He gave her the mostly cheese one that was egg-free, while he took the pepperoni one. When he sat down with their drinks, Katie’s phone buzzed again.
“Everything all right?” Nick gestured to her phone.
“Um, yeah. Everything’s good. Someone just wants me to visit while I’m here.”
“Someone, huh? You keeping extra guys around,” Nick teased, then added, “or girls around, instead of me?”
“No,” Katie said, her voice surprisingly sincere. She clasped his hands in hers and ran her leg along his calf. “Just you, Nick. I promise.”
> “Well. That’s . . . good. You’re the only one I’m seeing right now too. So this is kind of perfect. That’s . . . that’s what I was thinking about on the walk.”
“Oh? That’s nice. I like you thinking about me.”
Katie kissed him again, but with a new urgency. This was a deep kiss, but also something deeply personal. Something that would bloom later, possibly tonight. Nick’s stomach tightened, his arousal growing. The two of them hadn’t done much since their Saturday night date. Sexy texts and talking, especially when he had told her he read the zine, but all of it in jest or play. Now that they were here, the dog was out of the way, and their dinner was almost done . . . Nick could feel the weight of the evening. He was nervous—almost like he was a virgin again—which, in a way, he was. This would be the first time he was with Katie like this, so close and so completely intimate.
“So,” Nick said when the kiss had ended. “Are you going to see your . . . friend while you’re here?”
“Nah, I’m busy. And so are you, from what I can tell.” Katie gestured towards the bag of baking supplies. The sly smile on her face as she scanned Nick’s body seemed to speak far louder than her sultry tone ever could.
Nick swallowed hard. He couldn’t believe he had an entire week with her like this—sweetly domestic, yet utterly desirous. He shook himself out of his slight daydream and focused back on their meal. “Never mind the baking stuff for now. I have other plans.”
“For tonight?”
“Uh-huh,” Nick said, nodding slowly.
“I’m into what you’re thinking. But can we do one thing first?”
“Sure, anything.”
“Show me the pool? After dinner? I just want to dip my toes in before anything else.”
“Of course. That’s easy.”
As they both resumed their pizzas, feet occasionally touching as they ate, Nick had a feeling the rest of the night would be easy too.
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