by Helen Harper
Legs trembling, she walked off, no idea where she was going. She moved as quickly as her stiff legs would manage, hoping that he’d get the message that she wanted to be alone. When she rounded the corner and he still wasn’t with her, she felt a wash of gratitude. Slowing her steps, she stared fixedly ahead, her fingers trailing along the stone walls and wooden fences dividing the well kept gardens from the pavement. The sun beamed down, almost tauntingly. Yuri tightened her jaw. The sky should be black and stormy, not azure blue and cloudless. She kicked pointlessly at a crushed soda can, setting off a nearby dog to a round of excited barking. Ignoring it, she simply kept walking. She had no destination in mind, merely the burning desire to get as far away from the real world as possible. She should have done what she’d planned and stayed mute and unsociable. Between her father and now Brittani, she couldn’t prevent herself from thinking that everything was her fault. She’d brought the murderous world of Olympus into their lives. She was responsible.
The excited calls of young children alerted her to where she was long before she caught sight of the rolling waves and golden sand. Yuri halted at the large stone breaker, pressing her palms against its rough surface, and stared out at the vast expanse of the sea. Apart from the one time she’d come down from the cliffs to help Ozzy’s struggling battle, she’d completely avoided the beach. The ocean had brought back too many painful reminders. It no longer seemed so terrifying. She watched the waves lap against the shore and rubbed her neck, trying to ease her stiff muscles. Thanks to the sunny weather, there were a lot of people milling around. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Everyone apart from her anyway.
Bending down, she pulled off her shoes, twisting the buckles between her forefinger to make them easy to carry. Then she took a deep breath and walked out, feeling her toes sink into the warm sand. Yuri padded all the way down to the water’s edge, inhaling the salty air deep into her lungs. Despite the beautiful weather, the sea was still cold, making her shiver as it lapped over her feet. She kicked out angrily, sending a spray of water arcing high into the air. Then she turned away and walked several metres back before sitting with her back to the water and hugging her knees. When that grew too uncomfortable she stretched her legs out in front of her and began tracing shapes in the flat, sea-worn sand.
‘May I join you?’ Ozzy’s voice was nervous.
She twisted her neck and glanced up at him. ‘You followed me?’
‘You were upset. I wanted to make sure you were okay. You know, that you didn’t do anything stupid.’
Her eyes warmed. ‘Thank you. Not just for following but for giving me some time alone.’
He sat down beside her. ‘You’re welcome.’
‘You’re kind of smart for a boy,’ she commented.
‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’ He gave her a slight smile. ‘What are you drawing?’
She moved back slightly so he could see. He raised his eyebrows. ‘A harp?’
‘Almost. It’s a lyre.’
‘Ah. ‘I wish to tune my quivering lyre to deeds of fame and notes of fire’.’
At Yuri’s sideways glance, he looked rather abashed. ‘Byron.’
‘The poet?’
‘I thought reading poetry might help me writing songs.’ He reached out and took her hand. ‘What happened to Brittani really wasn’t your fault, you know.’
Yuri swallowed. ‘I’m not so sure about that.’
‘I am.’ His voice was quiet. Then he took a deep breath and very, very softly started to sing.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
Yuri frowned. ‘That sounds familiar.’
‘It’s a verse from Amazing Grace.’
‘It’s beautiful. I’m not sure it’s true though.’
He leaned over and brushed her cheek with his lips. ‘You just need faith.’
She forced a smile in his direction and changed the subject. ‘Do you know the story behind the lyre?’
Ozzy shook his head.
‘The Greek god Hermes stole a herd of cows from Apollo. He slaughtered one and offered all of it apart from its entrails as a sacrifice to the rest of the gods on Olympus. He used the entrails to make the strings of the lyre.’
‘That’s kind of disgusting.’
‘You could use it as your logo. For the band. It could be like a metaphorical sacrifice.’ Her voice was hopeful. ‘Then maybe the gods will leave you alone.’
He chuckled. ‘Right.’
Yuri gazed at him solemnly. ‘Apollo let Hermes off because the music made with the lyre was so beautiful.’ She pointed down at her sand drawing. ‘Look. There are five strings. One for you, Jono, Tim and Roz. All the members of Orpheus.’
‘There are only four of us.’
‘The fifth one is for Brittani. The lyre itself can be gold. The fifth string should be black.’
For a long moment, Ozzy was silent. Convinced that she’d gone too far, Yuri’s brow creased in worry. Eventually, however, he spoke.
‘It’s perfect.’
‘Are you sure?’
He put an arm round her shoulders and pulled her towards him, then kissed her gently. ‘I wouldn’t lie. Not to you.’
She smiled at him. ‘Thank you.’
‘Come on,’ he said with a grin, tugging her back to her feet. ‘We’re not far from the site of very first kiss. Let’s go and re-visit old memories.’
‘It wasn’t a kiss!’ Yuri protested.
‘It was the kiss of life! Of course it was a kiss.’ He leaned into her ear. ‘So romantic,’ he whispered.
She thumped him on the arm.
‘Boyfriend beater!’ he moaned melodramatically.
Yuri stilled. ‘Is that what you are? My boyfriend?’
His eyes held hers. ‘If you want me. Unless you still want to play hard to get for a while?’
‘Life’s too short.’
He sobered up for one brief, soul-searching moment. ‘Yes. It is.’
Then he grinned suddenly and took off, sprinting down the beach. Yuri laughed and ran after him. Startled seagulls flocked up, keening into the sky. Their footprints carved indentations into the sand as they ran, pausing from time to time to stop and smile at each other.
‘Where were you that day?’ he asked, when they finally halted for good. ‘I thought I was alone on the beach.’
‘When you almost drowned? I was up on the cliffs.’ She pointed behind them at the precarious winding path.
He looked upwards. ‘That’s pretty high.’
‘It wasn’t easy getting down in a hurry,’ she admitted.
‘Do you think you can climb back up?’
Yuri shrugged. ‘Sure.’
He grinned. ‘Great. You go first though. That way I get to watch your body some more. And I’ll be ready to catch you in my big strong arms if you fall.’
She rolled her eyes at him but, secretly flattered, walked over and started to climb, using the rickety railing at the side to keep her balance and help pull herself up to the top. All the same, she was breathing hard by the time she made it up. When Ozzy joined her, his skin was covered in a sheen of sweat.
‘It’s probably easier going down,’ he puffed.
She smiled at him. ‘You’re out of shape.’
He flexed his muscles. ‘No, I’m not!’
Yuri giggled, then felt immediately guilty. Her eyes flew to his. ‘It feels wrong,’ she whispered.
‘Having fun after what happened to Brittani?’
She bit her lip and nodded. Ozzy pulled her into a tight embrace. ‘She wouldn’t want anyone to mope around. If anything, her death should tell us we should live every day as if it’s our last.’
Yuri sighed deeply into his shirt. ‘Yeah.’ She stayed in his arms for another long moment. ‘I’m sorry,’ she finally said.
He let her go. ‘For what?’
‘You promised her mum we’d go to the wake. Instead we’re here.’
‘I had to make sure you were okay. Besides, I doubt Mrs. Smith will notice our absence.’
‘No.’ Yuri scratched her neck and walked over to the cliff edge. ‘There’s not a word for it, you know. If you lose your spouse, you’re a widow or a widower. If you lose your parents, you’re an orphan. There’s no word for what you are if you lose your child.’
‘That’s because it’s too awful to contemplate.’
She stared down at the beach. ‘It is.’
‘Yuri,’ Ozzy said nervously. ‘You’re quite close to the edge.’
She outstretched her arms, feeling the light breeze buffet against her skin. ‘It’s safe.’ She quirked a glance in his direction. ‘I wouldn’t have done anything stupid really.’
‘Like get too close to the edge of a cliff, you mean?’
‘I’m not going to fall.’ She sat down, her legs dangling over the side. ‘No matter what that song says, death is not appealing.’
He moved up beside her and also sat down although she could feel the tension in his body as he did so.
‘Are you afraid of heights?’ she asked.
‘No. I just feel a bit uneasy, that’s all.’
She smiled. ‘I’ll catch you if you fall.’ She gazed out over the horizon. ‘Imagine how unfair it would be to Brittani,’ she said quietly. ‘To kill yourself. To make that choice when she had no choice at all. My father didn’t have that choice either. Not really anyway.’
‘He’s dead?’ He reached out and touched her. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay.’ She realised it actually was. ‘He’d never have wanted me to mourn him forever. What you said, about living every day as if it’s your last? That’s what he’d have wanted me to do.’ She sighed. ‘Do you think Mrs. Smith would, you know, do something stupid?’
‘I don’t know. I can understand why she would. It wouldn’t make anything better though. Not for anyone.’ He put his head on her shoulder. ‘What does make it better?’
Yuri thought about her mother. Her inability to stay in one place. The way her grief had consumed her until it was almost all she knew. ‘Living,’ she finally answered. ‘Moving on. It doesn’t happen straight away but it does happen.’
‘How about we move away now from this cliff?’
She smiled at him and stood up, then stuck her hand down. ‘Come on then, scaredy cat.’
He put his hand in hers and let her pull him up. ‘Would you like to come and meet my parents?’ he asked, shoving his hands awkwardly into his pockets.
‘Okay.’
Ozzy grinned. ‘Oh, wait,’ he said suddenly, bending back down and plucking a daisy out of the ground. He reached over and carefully placed it behind her ear. ‘There.’
Yuri laughed. ‘If I’m going to look like a hippy then you are too.’ She crouched, looking for the right one before finally selecting one with pink tips along its petals. She stood up on her tiptoes and put it behind Ozzy’s ear. ‘Now we’re matching.’
‘It’s almost like we’re engaged,’ he said, with a wink.
‘I’m going to a marry a musician? I’ll be starving for the rest of my days,’ she said mournfully.
‘Don’t worry. Most venues will give you free peanuts. Maybe even the odd soda water or two.’
‘I’m so lucky.’
‘You betcha.’ He kissed her forehead then, holding hands, they both walked away.
CHAPTER TWELVE
LONDON, 2014
Shoulders set and head held high, Yuri swept into the office. She wasn’t going to cower with a hangover this time. If Oz wanted to shag someone as vapid as Anais Arletti, then that was his look-out. She wasn’t going to let him stomp all over her, whether she deserved it or not. She wasn’t sixteen years old any longer.
‘Ms. Tateno!’ Dirk Duke beamed. ‘Everyone’s already setting up on the roof.’
‘Great,’ she muttered. ‘Although with temperamental English weather, I have to wonder at the choice of venue. Our equipment is expensive, you know. If it rains and we’re caught outdoors, there will be hell to pay.’
He seemed rather taken aback. ‘The view of the skyline…’
‘Whatever. Alicia no doubt wants her logo in view at all times. Don’t think I don’t know what’s on your roof.’
‘It’s not my roof. I don’t work for Odyssey,’ he said stiffly. ‘I represent Orpheus.’
He actually appeared to be offended by her comment. ‘Sorry,’ she said, although she felt rather unrepentant.
‘Well, then. I suppose that’s alright.’ He glanced at her sideways. ‘You are right though. Alicia likes the symmetry of the giant MDF ‘O’ for Odyssey next to Oz who is the front man for Orpheus. She had a suggestion for the story title to give you.’
‘Let me guess,’ Yuri said drily, ‘oh my?’
He laughed. ‘Pretty much.’
Yuri rolled her eyes. ‘I’d have thought she’d have flogged that one to death by now.’
‘It’s got plenty of mileage in it yet.’
Despite her tension at the upcoming confrontation with Oz, she couldn’t prevent herself from grinning amicably with the agent. The band certainly landed on their feet with getting him to represent them.
‘How long have you been with Orpheus?’ she asked.
‘Since the beginning. I heard their first hit on a demo tape long before anyone else had ever heard of them. I knew I was on to a winner, even though they were all pretty much kids back then.’
‘’Stabbed Through The Heart’,’ Yuri said softly.
‘That’s the one.’ He leaned in towards. ‘Off the record and completely between us, it’s based on true life.’ Yuri squirmed. Dirk, however, didn’t seem to notice. ‘Oz had a high school sweetheart back in the day,’ he continued. ‘Apparently it all ended rather acrimoniously. Whoever she was, you can bet she’s kicking herself for giving him up now that he’s one of the most famous faces in the world.’
She gritted her teeth. ‘Or maybe she’s living her life happy in the knowledge that she’s not had the trauma of being with someone who’ll broadcast their private life to every sodding person who has ears.’
Dirk blinked. ‘Er…’
She sighed. She wasn’t here to give Dirk Duke a hard time. That was reserved for Oz alone. ‘Sorry. I’m just nervous about the interview, that’s all.’
‘Perfectly understandable.’ He patted her hand. ‘Come on. I’ll take you up to the roof.’
*
Despite her complaints to the contrary, the day was bright and sunny. Although there was a breeze and the air was cold, the expensive camera and lighting equipment which was already in place was clearly in no danger. Part of that reason was no doubt down to the number of people hovering around and making sure everything was shipshape. Yuri vaguely recognised the photographer, a freelance artist Yell often used for these kind of shoots. She raised a hand to him in greeting and pointedly avoided looking in Oz’s direction. Out of the corner of her eye, however, it was difficult not to register that he was topless and being fussed over by the make-up artist.
Dirk wandered over to him, while she headed to the photographer and greeted him.
‘Yuri, right?’
She nodded and smiled. ‘And you’re Timothy.’
‘That I am. Things are going well so far. We’ve been in place for a while and taken a number of shots already. I want to wrap everything up in the next hour or so, before the light becomes too bright.’
He turned to one of his numerous assistants and fired off a series of technical sounding instructions. Trying not to get in anyone’s way, Yuri stepped back and looked carefully around. She had to admit that it was an impressive location, even if Odyssey were going to ridiculous lengths to include themselves in the shots. The building was tall enough to provide panoramic views of London’s skyline and the numerous familiar buildings glittered in the late morning sun. The huge O, which seemed to Yuri’s u
ntrained eye to be balanced rather precariously on the edge of the building itself, was considerably shabbier and less impressive up close than when viewed from a distance. It could almost be a metaphor, she decided. What may look glossy and appealing from afar was actually untrustworthy and distinctly unglamorous up close. She smirked to herself, then realised Oz was focusing intensely in her direction. Their eyes met and she willed herself not to look away. I’m not intimidated by you, she thought to herself, and I don’t care if you do look sexy as hell. You’re actually freezing your arse off and miserable. The corner of his mouth crooked up as he watched her. Then he disappeared from her view as Dirk moved into her line of sight and busied himself by thrusting a bottle of water in Oz’s direction. Biting her lip, she finally turned away.
‘So, Yuri,’ Timothy said, wiping his palms on his jeans and stepping back from his tripod to return his attention to her, apparently satisfied as to the set up, ‘as I said, we already have several good shots with the buildings in the background. They’re ready for viewing with Belle.’ He pointed towards a young looking woman who was bent studiously over a laptop. ‘Obviously the picture editors will make the final decision but you are welcome to add in your own suggestions.’
‘Thank you,’ she murmured, surprised at his forthcoming nature. Yuri knew next to nothing about photographic composition and she suspected he was fully aware of that fact. It was nice, however, to be included.
‘Both Yell and Odyssey want the photos to include several, er,’ he scratched his neck, ‘romantic shots. He doesn’t seem so keen but they’re already oiling him up so I guess he’s been persuaded.’ Timothy leaned in towards her. ‘Do enough of these kind of shoots and you’ll realise all these stars are divas who love getting in front of the camera and showing off. They have to play hard to get to begin with to avoid looking overly vain but the fact is they’re all the same at heart.’ He winked at her.
Feeling slightly uncomfortable at his words, Yuri took a step back. She had the distinct sensation that he was flirting with her. She apparently wasn’t the only person who thought that because before she had the chance to answer the photographer, Oz was standing in front of the pair of them with a definite glower on his face.