by Mary Calmes
Tyler had taken his brother and Glenn all over the ranch that morning, and Rand had shown him the website and the orders that came through at all hours, and showed them by webcam the efficient office in Dallas that handled Rand’s business, introduced them to his sales manager, June Thomas, his accountant, and the other ten people who made certain that no one ever had to wait to buy beef from the Red Diamond.
“Congratulations again on the Grillmaster account, Rand.” June smiled at him.
She was a very attractive woman who a lot of men made the mistake of thinking was only a pretty face and not a scary-smart financial shark. Her smile was predatory.
“Thank you.”
“We look forward to doing much more business with you.”
“Which is appreciated,” he assured her.
“Give Stefan my regards,” she told him since she couldn’t see me across the room.
“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled at her because he appreciated that, too, that she included me as she did every other wife and every other husband of the people she did business with. I was Rand’s partner; it was polite to hope I was doing well. In her mind, there was no difference, and my cowboy liked that about her so much.
Rand had to survey his ranch as he did every day, and Glenn and Rayland had ridden out to watch him, see the operation up close, and get a feel for the land. I checked my email and got a nice message back from my boss at the college. She told me to of course take the day, take Tuesday, and rest, and if I needed Wednesday as well, to simply let her know. I messaged her back that I would be in the next morning, but that I appreciated her concern. By the time lunch rolled around, I could tell from seeing the looks on Rayland’s and Glenn’s faces that the two men were overwhelmed with being on the Red Diamond. When Zach showed up, I watched them interact from the porch.
Zach was as tall and handsome as the rest of the Holloway men, but where the others had blue eyes, his were a lovely golden brown. From the little I could overhear, he was pissed that Glenn had used his need of Rand for selfish purposes. There was yelling and shoving, and Rand and Rayland had to break the brothers up. I was going to walk over to the fence when the profanity started flying, but Tyler showed up with May, and so I let them handle it instead, staying where I was, stretched out on one of the Adirondack chairs, my feet on the coffee table. I would have never done it inside the house, but on the porch it seemed perfectly acceptable.
“Everybody come on up here. I have something to say.”
I sat up from my slouch as they all came clomping up the front steps, cowboy boots making a lot of noise, as Rand led them to me. He stepped around in back of me, hands on my shoulders.
“Oh my God,” May gasped, crossing to me, sitting down on the loveseat, grabbing my hand. “Sweetheart, what in the world happened to your eye?”
“Mom,” Rand said, and her eyes lifted from me to him. “Wait a sec, okay? Uhm, Zach, this here is Stef. Stef, Zach.”
He was really the worst at introductions. He just basically said everyone’s name, and that was it. “Nice to meet you.” I smiled.
Zach seemed very interested in me from the way he was studying my face. “Same here.”
“Okay so.” Rand squeezed my shoulders. “Mom.”
Oh no.
“Wait.” I turned my head to look up at him.
“I know Rayland’s my biological father. Dad told me when I turned eighteen. I’m real sorry I never told you, but I was mad for a piece, and then by the time I worked through that, I just didn’t have the heart to bring it up. Forgive me.”
I turned to look at May.
Silence.
She just sat there, speechless, with her mouth open. As I checked everyone, I saw that Rayland had turned to stone, Tyler was holding on to the porch railing, Zach looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and Glenn, I was pretty sure, was going to be sick.
“That was fuckin’ brilliant,” I said, turning in my seat to look up at the man I loved.
He shrugged, shoving his hands down into the pockets of his jeans. “I ain’t much for grandstandin’, you know that. Sometimes the best thing is to just spit things out.”
I knew that. “Yeah, but Jesus Christ, Rand.”
And then all hell broke loose.
“You knew?” May screeched at her son.
“Your son?” Glenn roared at Rayland.
“Jesus,” Zach breathed out, and the look on his face was hard to distinguish.
“You knew?” May’s voice was increasing in decibel level.
“Your father?” Tyler barked at Rand.
I got up because I didn’t want to sit there, and I needed to talk to my best friend. I missed Charlotte. Walking into the house, I grabbed my cell phone off the coffee table in the living room and called her. And because it was her, and because I had permission from Rand, which I had gotten that morning before we went down for breakfast, I broke the news to her about her brother.
“I know,” she sighed.
My turn to be shocked. “What?”
“Yeah, Daddy told me when I turned eighteen. He wanted me to know, and if Rand ever told me, or didn’t, he still wanted me to know.”
“And?”
“And what? Rand Holloway and I have the same mom, and we grew up with the same dad, and so that makes us brother and sister. No one is ever taking him away from me, and even when I’ve wanted to kill him, I still claimed him as mine.”
Of course the news had changed nothing for Charlotte.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Oh, Char, that was not your secret to share.”
“I should talk to him. Maybe I’ll come early before the weekend and see you both.”
I grunted.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“I saw the video, you know. I will smack you when I get there.”
“Somebody already did.”
“What does that mean?”
When I told her about Gil Landry and his sister and Glenn and how her cousin wanted to open a restaurant, she had me go back to where Gil hit me.
“I’ll kill him!”
She was feisty, so she would try. “Rand already broke his nose.”
“Oh, awesome. Put him on the phone!”
But when I went outside, I saw that Rand was no longer on the porch. When I looked, I saw him down by the large corral, leaning on the fence, and both Tyler and Rayland were with him. Rand had his arms crossed on the second rail down, forehead pressed to the wood. Rayland was standing close, closer than I’d ever seen them, and I could tell he was doing the talking.
“How about talking to your mom?” I offered Charlotte.
“Good,” she said softly, and I could tell that the emoting of the moment was finally catching up to her.
When I offered May my phone and told her who it was, she snatched it from me and retreated into the house. I was left with the same stunned group of people I had left a half an hour before. They were sitting in silence, and I didn’t want to intrude. Before I could turn to walk back into the house, there was throat clearing.
I turned to look at Zach.
“Do you think that, uhm, Rand would allow me to stay here with y’all?”
“Sure,” I said softly. “But are you sure you’d be comfortable doing that?”
His eyes searched mine. “I think so.”
I turned to look at Glenn. “I know that Rand will help set you up in your restaurant if that’s what you want to do. He—”
“No,” Glenn interrupted, taking a seat beside me, his knee bumping mine as he leaned forward. “My father and I are doing that together. Yesterday on the drive here, he fired me as foreman and told me to go start a restaurant or something.”
I smiled at him.
Zach gasped.
“It’s so like him.”
“It surely is,” Zach agreed. “He didn’t tell you it was a good idea. He just threw you off his ranch, but he’s gonna give you the money to start a r
estaurant, the same restaurant you’ve been talkin’ about for the last four years.”
“Yep.”
“Christ.”
“That’s how he works.”
“It is,” Zach agreed. “He really is a son of a bitch.”
“You could probably have my job as foreman,” Glenn said to his brother.
“Not on a bet,” Zach chuckled. “After I sell my ranch, I’m gonna come back here for a spell and work until I figure out what’s next. And maybe bein’ here will spark somethin’.”
“Maybe,” Glenn agreed, his voice hoarse as he leaned back, his shoulder against mine.
The three of us were quiet, watching the three men down by the large corral. Tyler was yelling, but I couldn’t hear about what over the wind. Rayland was pointing at Rand and then patting his heart as he roared back, and my cowboy looked like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. I stood up, moved to the porch railing, and yelled for him.
When his head turned, I waved for him, and he started toward me without a word to the other two men.
“What do you need, Stef?” Glenn asked me. “I can help you if you need something.”
“Nope, only Rand,” I told him as the man reached the porch steps and his eyes were on mine. “Your mother’s in the house.”
He nodded, but didn’t leave, instead crossing to me and stepping close. His hand lifted to the back of my head as he leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead.
“Everything will be fine,” I promised.
He nodded before he left.
“That was nice.”
I turned to look at Zach.
“You knew he needed a break, and so you gave him one without him lookin’ like he needed it.”
Exactly.
He gave me a slight smile.
I walked back over to them, taking my seat beside Glenn. When he turned to look at me, I didn’t look away.
“I might be confused about who I want, but not what I want.”
“I know,” I patted his knee, leaning back, putting my feet up on the table, stretching out my legs.
After a minute, he put his feet on the table beside mine, and after another minute, Zach did too.
“All we need is some beer,” Glenn sighed after several long minutes.
“We haven’t even had lunch yet,” Zach told him.
“We could drink lunch,” I suggested.
Everyone agreed that my idea was amazing, but none of us moved. It was quiet out on the porch. The sky was gray, it looked like it might rain, and that crisp fall smell was in the air like a mixture of burning wood, wet earth, pine, and rain.
“This ranch feels like a home, Stef,” Zach said after awhile.
“It really does,” Glenn agreed, head back, eyes closed.
“Does your arm hurt?” I asked him.
“Some. How ’bout your leg?”
“Some,” I teased him.
He smiled, but didn’t open his eyes.
“So are you okay about Rand?”
Deep make grunt from him. “Rand Holloway ain’t my brother. The only brother I got is sittin’ to my right. He’ll always be what he is, my cousin I can barely stand… and that’s all right.”
Zach reached out and patted Glenn’s leg, which pulled another grunt from the man.
“I’ll come home for a bit after I get the ranch sold, and help you get the restaurant going.”
“I appreciate that. Maybe you’ll wanna stay and help me, you never know.”
“Nope,” Zach agreed, leaning back, pulling his hat low across his forehead. “You never do know.”
I watched them, sitting there together, Glenn looking like he was asleep, Zach staring out into space, and wondered why they just couldn’t say they were sorry for yelling at each other earlier and hug it out. But Zach stating he’d help and Glenn accepting was apparently as good as it got.
Tyler and Rayland walked up toward the house, and both men dropped down onto the sturdy chairs. They looked exhausted.
“So,” I said to Tyler.
“You might have told me,” he muttered.
“I had no idea until May told me while I was at the rodeo.”
“And that there’s another thing.” Tyler turned on Rayland. “What the hell were you thinkin’ lettin’ your boy’s partner get up on that damn horse? If you knew what Rand was to you and you knew what Stef was to him—what in God’s name were ya thinkin’?”
“Like I could stop him!” Rayland pointed at me. “He don’t listen to nobody about nothin’. He’s just as pigheaded as you and Rand and Glenn and—”
“Just like a Holloway,” May said as she stepped out onto the porch.
All eyes were on her, except Glenn who had fallen asleep, as she walked over to me, put a hand through my hair, and passed me my phone.
“Rayland, walk with me.”
He got up fast and followed her off the porch and back down toward the large corral. We all watched them, walking side by side, Rayland having crooked his arm for May, and she holding on. I hoped they could find the closure they both needed.
“Hey.”
I turned as Rand rejoined the group, taking a seat in the chair beside me, his feet beside mine on the table.
“I had a nice talk with her.”
His mother, of course. “Good.”
“I spoke to Charlotte on your phone as well.”
I nodded. “You look beat.”
“I think we all need a drink.”
“I was saying that earlier.”
He sighed deeply. “So you know, I am not giving those grazing rights in King to Rayland.”
“But you said you’d think about it.”
“Yeah, well, I thought about it, and it’s no. After what he did to try and get them.” Rand made a noise in the back of his throat. “And he told me that it was all him. When Glenn came up here, he was actually plannin’ on going to Zach’s ranch with me, just like I thought. That whole mess with us was just us, me and him, bein’ our regular asshole selves to each other.”
Beside me, Glenn started to snore softly.
“So he’s a dick, but I knew that.” Rand almost smiled. “But Rayland is the one who tried to take my land from me, not Glenn.”
“He told me he didn’t know when I got to the rodeo. I’m not sure if I really believed him since he can be kind of a jerk.”
“Because you were thinkin’ he was a dick, he made sure to be one.”
I nodded. “All you guys do that same thing.”
“Yeah, I know it.”
“But, Rand, with the grazing rights, you could give them to Rayland. You don’t need to graze your cattle there.”
“I might,” he told me, “depending on how the Red continues to grow, but that ain’t the point. He’s still treatin’ you like you ain’t nothin’, Stef, and after what you did and the men… I have a choice now that I wasn’t gonna have because he decided to go behind my back and stab me. Where’s the family in that?”
“I agree,” Tyler chimed in, and I looked over at him. “You don’t steal from a man and then want a seat at his table.”
“Rayland is Rand’s father.”
“James was his father, and that’s why he didn’t turn out like Glenn or Zach.”
“Screw you, old man,” Zach snapped at him.
“You hide what you want.” He pointed at Glenn. “You did what you never wanted to do in the first place.” He then turned to Zach. “And you’re the same. Both of you made choices because you’re afraid of your father.”
“And if James were alive, you think Rand would have a man living in his house?”
“Oh, yes,” Rand broke into the conversation. “Because I told him.”
“What?” I gasped.
His electric blue eyes met mine. “We talked a lot about things, and when I started courting Jenny, told him I was gonna someday marry her, he wasn’t sure that was the best idea. When I asked him why not, why marrying Jenny was no good, he said that maybe I should think a
bout asking you to come live with me on the ranch instead, Stef.”
I couldn’t even breathe.
He sighed deeply. “And I did my best to deny it, and he smiled like he did and said okay. He knew I wasn’t ready.”
Leaning forward, I reached for him.
“He told me,” Rand said and swallowed, sitting up to take my hand in both of his, “that whatever happened, that if I decided on you, Stef, that it was fine with him. He thought the world of you because Charlotte loved you so.”
I cleared my throat. “How did he know about you and me? I didn’t even know!”
“I suspect since I talked about you all the time that he knew.”
“What did you say?”
“It wasn’t nice.”
“I’m not thinking it was.” I smiled at him.
“I complained about you quite a bit, called you every word I could think of. Like I said, it wasn’t good.”
“And now people call you all those words.”
“Which don’t bother me half as much as I thought it would. I mean don’t get me wrong, I still have trouble thinking of myself as gay. I mean I am gay, but I don’t feel no different than I have all my life.”
“Because it doesn’t change who you are, Rand, just who you sleep with.”
“You’re still an asshole, gay or straight,” Zach assured him.
“Nobody’s talkin’ to you,” Rand groused at him.
“Fine,” he grumbled.
Rand looked back at me, and tugged me forward so he could kiss my forehead. “My father knew that if I ever pulled my head outta my ass, that it was gonna be you, Stef, so yeah, you bein’ here on the Red—I wish my father was alive to see you living on his ranch.”
I closed my eyes, clenched my jaw tight, and fought not to make a sound as I let his words find a place inside me forever.
“And that’s the difference between my father,” Rand breathed as I opened my eyes. “And yours,” he told Zach. “So are you fine bein’ here with me and Stef, or not?”
“I’m fine,” Zach grumbled. “I ain’t got no problem with you and him long as I don’t have to watch.”
“Like I’d let you,” Rand snapped at him, turning back to me, squinting.
“What’s wrong?”
“You need to lie down. You look exhausted.”
“I’m fine.”