I couldn’t bear to watch him leave, so I got dressed quickly and stood by the door watching as he buttoned his shirt.
“Don’t go, yet.” He was next to me in a second, his hand on my arm.
“Make me stay then.” My eyes pleaded with him. I needed to be good enough for him. Not just another notch in his belt. I needed a shred of hope, for him to even just ask for my number. Something so I would know we would speak again at some point in the future.
“Grace…don’t.” He pulled me into his arms, squeezing me tightly to him.
I kissed him one last time, pulling myself from his arms and walked out of the room into the waiting elevator. The tears that had been threatening to fall streamed down my face the second the doors closed. I was stupid to let myself dream about a future with a man I had just met. He had been clear from the start, it was only the one night. I was the one who tried to change the rules. My hands shook as I texted Faith. Seeing the words on the screen drove a dagger into my already wounded heart. This has been a mistake.
When the elevator opened, I prayed he would be standing in front of it begging me not to leave. Once again, I was let down. I pulled myself together long enough to hail a cab in front of the hotel; the poor driver didn’t know what to do with me. I could barely get my address out in between sobs. Faith was waiting for me at the curb.
“Oh, honey.” She hugged me, letting me pour out everything I was feeling. “So, he just let you leave?”
“Uh huh,” I replied glumly.
By the time I had finally calmed down enough to tell her everything, we were sitting at our dining room table drinking coffee.
“This is why I don’t do one-night stands. I'm not made for them.” I shook my head.
“You feel too much for them. Your heart is too open. You’re looking for something that you’ll never find in a one-night stand.” She patted my hand.
“Never let me do this, again.”
“Was the sex good at least?”
I laughed. Only Faith would ask me that in the middle of my crying fit. “Soooo good. The man knows his way around the female body. I just wish I knew his last name.
MOVING ON WAS NOT AS easy as it sounded. I tried my hardest to forget about Logan. He was burned into my memory—his touch, the way his lips felt against mine. I could still smell him on the dress I had worn that night. I hadn't been able to bring myself to wash it yet. It hung on a hanger in my closet, a lone reminder of the best night of my life The piece of my heart I would never get back.
“That’s it. Get out of those sweats and stop moping. It’s been a month, Grace,” Faith reminded me, standing in the doorway to my room with her hands on her hips.
“Leave me alone. I don’t care that it’s been a month, I wouldn’t care if it was a year. I’m sad, and I’ll be sad as long as I want to.” I turned away from her, putting my pillow over my face.
“It was a one-night stand, not a relationship. Get over it and move on.” Her tone was gentle, but I could hear the impatience underneath it.
“I know what it was; that doesn’t stop me from feeling the pain.”
“You need to be showered and dressed in an hour, your date will be here to pick you up a little after that.”
I shot up in bed. “What!”
“Your date. I set you up with a friend of a friend. He’s cute, and nice, I think you’ll like him.” Her tone was like fake sugar, sweet with a bad aftertaste.
“Call and cancel it.” I hopped out of bed in search of the phone.
“No,” she refused, looking me square in the eye.
“I’m not going to go, so either call and cancel or go on the date yourself.” My chin jutted out in defiance.
“You’re putting me in a bad spot here.” She popped her hip against the doorjamb and studied me.
“I couldn’t care less, Faith, I didn’t ask to be set up. As far as I’m concerned, you put yourself in this spot not me.” I folded my arms across my chest.
She scowled at me, “Fine, I’ll cancel it, but you need to start living again.” She pointed a finger at me and stamped her foot.
I knew in my heart she was right. Life couldn’t stop because of Logan. “I’m going to Hope’s, I’ll be back later.”
I left the apartment. Faith was irritated, but I couldn’t stand her constant judgment. Only I could decide how to live my life. I didn’t need her to badger me about everything.
Our sister, Hope, was the oldest of the DeLeo children, Faith was next, then me, and finally our younger sister Charity. Hope and I had always gotten along, she understood me better than Faith did. She was also closer to my temperament; Faith and Charity were more outgoing than we were.
We all looked like different versions of the same person, blond hair, and dark eyes inherited from our mother, Love DeLeo.
Faith and I lived in the heart of Chicago, smack dab in the middle of the city. We shared an apartment because neither of us could stand to live alone for longer than a month. The better choice would have been to live with Hope, but she had gotten married a few years back, and her husband frowned upon that idea.
Thirty minutes after I left my place, I was knocking on Hope’s door. John, her husband, opened the door for me. He was handsome, but I never could see him as anything but a brother. Tall and broad shouldered with light blond hair and green eyes. He was a fireman in the city.
“Faith at you again?” He pulled me into a hug.
“Something like that. Is Hope around?”
“She’s upstairs with the baby, go on up.”
I followed the sounds of giggles and splashing to the bathroom just up the stairs. Hope was seated on the side of the big tub with water spots covering her clothing and hair. My adorable nephew Grayson was making a mess in the tub.
“Hey.” I leaned against the counter and grinned at Grayson. At only ten months old, he had all of us wrapped up in a neat bow—we were his for life.
She glanced at my pajamas and messy hair and smiled. “I take it Faith was not successful in setting you up then?”
“She was not. Did everyone know about it but me?”
“Well, not everyone. She didn’t tell Charity.” She smothered a smile.
“Charity is in England, it wouldn’t matter even if she did know.” I picked at the label on a bottle of soda.
“She’s worried about you, that’s all. We all are, honey.”
I sighed. “I know you guys are. I’ve been trying to figure it all out. Logan’s gone, I know he is. I’m just confused, I don't know what I want.”
“You don’t have to know that right now. You just need to stop moping around. Reengage in your life again.”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s better than nothing, I suppose. Now, come on over and help me wrangle this wiggly boy out of the tub.” She held out a towel for me.
I scooped Grayson out of the tub and snuggled him up in the towel, hugging him against my chest. He patted at my face and made his cute baby noises. God, I loved this little boy. He made everything better.
“If only everything were as easy as loving family.” I sighed and rested my chin on Grayson’s head.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Hope winked at me.
“Maybe I should let Faith set me up.” I chewed on my lower lip.
“It couldn’t hurt. And it might be just what you need to jump start your dating life again.” She held her hands out for the baby. “Not every guy out there is like Scott.” Her tone was soft.
My head snapped up at the mention of his name. “This isn’t about him.”
“Isn’t it?” She gave me a hard look. “He messed you up. You haven’t really been the same Grace since it ended. Maybe this thing with Logan was good for you. It showed you that there are guys out there worth your time.”
I chewed my lip and watched her walk down the hall to the nursery. Maybe she was right.
I followed her into Grayson’s nursery and sat in the comfy glider chair while she got him in his feet
y pajamas.
“Johnny!” she yelled. “Can you make Gray his bottle?”
He yelled something back; I assumed he was saying yes because he came back up a few minutes later with a bottle. The look of absolute love in his eyes as he kissed my sister made my heart clench. I wanted that—someone to love like that.
Hope handed him the baby, and we went down the hall to her room.
“What was it about Logan that had you so wrapped up in him overnight?” She sat cross legged on her bed.
“I don’t even know. Just him, his personality. Plus he was sexy as sin. Just looking at him made my knees go weak.” My cheeks felt hot. I flopped down onto my stomach next to her.
“That’s how I knew with John. The first date, that was it for me. We’ll find that for you, Gracey.” She looked so hopeful, I hated to disagree with her. I had found it, but I let him get away.
“What are you looking for in a man?”
“Are you going to make a spreadsheet?” I laughed. Hope was uber organized, always had a spreadsheet for everything.
She stuck her tongue out at me. “No, not making a spreadsheet. I just want to be sure we’re looking for the right man.”
“I don’t know.” I threw my hands up in exasperation. “I want what you and John have.” I sighed.
“You’ll find it honey, I know you will.” She patted my back.
“I should tell Faith to reschedule the date from tonight.” I sighed.
“Knowing her, she probably already did.”
I spent the rest of the evening at Hope’s wrapped in a blanket of unconditional love. John would always have my back, I knew that with total certainty. And Hope was always there, no matter what.
FAITH WAS WAITING UP FOR me when I walked through the door.
“Feel better?” She smirked at me.
“Somewhat. I assume you rescheduled for tomorrow?”
“I did. He’ll pick you up at six thirty; no backing out this time. I had to think on my feet and come up with a plausible excuse for you.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I said you got called into work at the last minute. So start thinking up work related problems for your alibi.”
I rolled my eyes and walked away toward my bedroom.
“Grace, come on, you know I’m only doing this for your benefit right?” She trailed after me.
“I know. It’s just going to take me some time to jump back in.”
“Well, Eric will be a good warm up then. He’s super sweet, maybe a little dull, but he’s easy on the eyes.”
“You’re really selling me on this guy here.” I stifled a laugh.
“He’s a great rebound guy for you. There’s no future with him, but he’ll treat you right.”
“I kind of feel bad for him now.” I winced at her words.
“He knows you’re just coming off of a breakup.”
“Is that what it was?” I snorted.
“What would you call it if not a breakup?” She arched a brow.
“I guess that’s what it was then.” In my own mind I had thought it more akin to being shown the door.
“Just give tomorrow a chance okay? That’s all I’m asking.” She kissed my forehead and left me alone in my room.
FAITH WAS RIGHT. ERIC WAS perfectly nice, but very dull. He totally believed the work excuse Faith had given him and didn’t even question me about it.
“What do you do for a living, Eric?” I asked him, needing something to talk about. It was only just after we were seated and already we were tapped out.
“I’m in finance. Nothing super interesting.” He smiled. “What about you? Faith never told me what it is that you do.”
“I’m in PR. It can be challenging, but I really enjoy it.”
“Which firm do you work for?” he asked.
“My own. DeLeo PR.” I was proud of myself. All of the sleepless nights and hard work had finally paid off when I lasted past the first year.
“Your own firm, you’re so young.”
“I’m thirty-two, not terribly young.” This night was not off to a great start.
“I just meant that it’s a great achievement to own your own business being as young as you are.” He smiled nervously.
“Thank you. I’ve worked really hard to get where I am.” I took a long drink of the Cosmo in front of me. “Will you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the ladies’ room.”
“Of course.” He hopped to his feet to pull out my chair.
I fled down the hallway to the ladies’ room and dug for my phone in my purse. Faith answered in the second ring.
“Is it bad?” she asked.
“So bad. He is so boring. We pretty much ran out of things to talk about before we were seated. Why did you think this was a good idea?”
“I’m sorry. But at least you broke your dry spell, right? Do you want me to call you in twenty minutes and pretend to be work?”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay, will do. Now get back out there and try and make the best of it.” She hung up before I could respond. I sighed and headed back out to Eric.
I knew that I didn’t want this—someone sweet and nice but dull. I wanted it all. Excitement and heat. I wanted Logan.
“I ordered an appetizer for us, I hope you don’t mind.” He smiled anxiously.
I felt bad just being on this date with him. It was obvious that he wanted it to work. I considered my options. I could wait until Faith called with my pretend emergency, or I could lay it out on the table for him.
“Look, Eric, you’re a really nice guy,” I started.
“Already? The really nice guy speech?” He smile faltered.
“I’m not sure if Faith told you, but I’m coming off of a breakup and this just feels so soon to me.” Not to mention that he was not Logan, the man I really wanted to be sitting across from me.
“Was it something I said?” He looked anxious.
“No, no. Nothing you said. I’m just not ready, and I don't know when I will be ready.”
“Can I call you again sometime?” He was grasping at straws.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I don’t want to lead you on.”
He looked at me, his eyes sad. “I understand. Thank you for coming.” He got up and pulled my chair out and helped me with my coat.
I left the restaurant feeling terrible about myself. Eric was a perfectly nice guy who would have treated me like a princess. My problem was that I didn’t want perfectly nice.
My phone buzzed in the pocket of my coat and I pulled it out to answer Faith’s call.
“It’s an emergency, come quick.” She laughed into the phone.
“I’m already gone.” Regret colored my words. I had known this wouldn’t work, but I had hoped it would.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I felt too guilty about not wanting to be there. I couldn’t do it.” I sighed.
“Okay, so you’re not ready to date then?”
“No, that’s not it. I’m just not looking for an Eric.”
“What are you looking for?”
“Someone who makes me feel something. Someone who makes me feel wild and out of control.” I sighed dramatically.
“So you want the world?” Faith laughed.
“No, just Logan.” I sniffled into the phone.
“So you are asking for the world, then.”
“I just want to feel the way he made me feel again,” I said sadly.
“Come home and we’ll drink away your sorrows.”
“Don’t you have a date tonight?”
“I’ll cancel. I can get laid whenever, and you need me more than I need a dick.”
This was what I loved about my sister, she was so brash. “Okay, I’m walking home as we speak.”
“I’ll play Cocktail and whip you up something amazing,” she said cheerily.
“See you in a few.” Faith was an amateur bartender. I’d been telling her for years she should open up a place. So
far she had yet to listen. She was too into her modelling career to want something more.
She was waiting at the door with a glass full of something lethal when I walked in.
“Here, drink this. It will cure what ails you.” She clinked glasses with me and tipped the cup back until I had drained it.
I coughed. “Wow, what’s in this? Lighter fluid?”
“Close. Vodka, rum, and some other random stuff.” She grinned at me. “Want another?”
“I know I should tell you no, but what the hell, pour me another.”
That was the last thing I remembered about that night. Lots of laughter and too many drinks.
“DID YOU HEAR WHAT I said Mr. McFadden?” My assistant Brooke waved her hand in front of my face. I blinked at her and motioned for her to repeat the question.
“I asked if you were all set for your trip to L.A. Do you need me to run through your itinerary again?” She looked at me expectantly¸ her green eyes wide. There was a time when I would have considered taking her to bed. Brooke was every man’s dream—no matter what she wore, it looked like it was painted on her curvy frame.
“No need, I know where I’m going and who I’m seeing. You can head out for the day if you’d like.”
She frowned slightly. “Are you sure? I could order you some dinner and we can go over the Lowery file again.”
“Go on home, Brooke. I’m leaving in a bit myself.”
“Have a safe trip, Mr. McFadden.” She smiled and clicked out of the room in her Louboutins.
I had to stop thinking about Grace. It had been a month, and I still couldn’t get her out of my head.
I picked up the phone and called the one person who could snap me out of it.
“Smith, it’s Logan. How would you feel about a trip to L.A. tonight? Meet me at the plane in two hours if you’re interested.” I hung up after leaving my message and finished up the work in front of me.
My limo met me in front of the building and drove me straight to the airport. Smith was leaning against the hood of his car when we pulled up. We had a similar build, but his hair was black as night. We were quite a pair when we were stalking our prey.
Never Let Me Go: Part 1 Page 2