“Okay, have it your way.” I left the kitchen, and went to the small office I had in the apartment.
I had a mountain of work that I hadn’t gotten to when I was actually at the office. Seeing it all made me feel like I needed someone to take over for me. That thought was quickly squashed as soon as I got into it. There were three emails from the small record label I had acquired in L.A. All of them wanting to know what I thought of the artist they were considering signing. I looked over the information they had sent and fired off a quick approval. I could see the potential and knew that there was money to be made there.
Next there were countless emails from my sister and a few from my mother. Both wanting to know why I wasn't returning their phone calls and text messages.
I sighed and dialed my mom’s number.
“Logan? What on earth have you been doing that you can’t call your mother?” she scolded.
“Hello to you, too, Mother. I’ve just been busy.”
“You haven’t been at work.” She shot back.
“No, I haven’t.” God, I hated that she was checking in on me. It’s not like she even cared when I was growing up.
“Would this have anything to do with the woman in the trench coat who accosted you in the lobby of your office building?” she said, her tone was brisk.
My fingers gripped the phone in my hand. “First of all, she did not accost me. Second of all, she is none of your business. Is this why you called? If so, I need to go.”
“Logan.” Her tone was icy.
“Mother, have a pleasant evening. I’ll phone you next week when things settle down a bit.”
“Your father spoke to Jared this morning. Were you planning on telling us you were relocating to Chicago?”
“No, I wasn’t. Since when do you even care where I live?” I hated that she brought up my father, as though he was supposed to have some significance to my life. Neither of them ever cared enough to find out anything about my life unless it directly affected them.
“I care because I won’t let some gold digging whore work her way into your life the way you let…”
I interrupted her. “Shut up! This has nothing to do with her. You don’t know Grace, or the way we feel about each other. I will not sit here and listen to you call her a whore. She is anything but.” I slammed the phone down hard enough to crack it.
Grace appeared a moment later. “Logan? Are you okay? I thought I heard shouting.” She looked concerned and a little scared.
“I’m fine,” I said tightly. My temper was still up, and I didn’t want to take it out on her. “Give me a moment, okay?” I rose from my seat and kissed her lightly before going out to the balcony.
Leave it to my mother to ruin a perfectly good evening. I gripped the metal railing and looked out over the city. Gradually, I relaxed. A few minutes later, I turned around to find Grace watching me from the living room, a nervous expression on her face.
I opened the slider and walked in.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly.
“I am now.” I pulled her against me, inhaling her scent. She always smelled like flowers.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She brushed her lips against mine before pulling back to look me in the eye. I could feel her anxiety.
“No, I really don’t.” I pulled her in tighter.
I WASN’T SURE WHAT HAD upset Logan, but I didn’t like that he wouldn't share it with me. I made up my mind that tonight I would get him to open up to me. I couldn’t stand the wall between us. I needed him to trust me. If whatever this was we were in was going to work, he had to trust me.
“Dinner is almost ready. If you would like to join me in the kitchen, you can set the table.”
“Your wish is my command.” He kissed my knuckles. “What are we having anyway?”
“Tortellini in homemade sauce and sautéed veggies.”
“Sounds heavenly.” He followed me into the kitchen.
“So, tell me what that was all about?” I broached the subject again.
“Grace.” His tone held a warning.
“No. Sorry, but I’m not going to let this drop. If you want me to be a part of your life, you need to let me in.” I stood my ground, a hand on my hip. I was going to be strong about this, even though I felt like jelly on the inside. Confrontation was not my thing. I needed him to understand me, to get that we needed to be open with each other.
He raked a hand through his hair and glared at me. I knew I was painting him into a corner, but I didn’t really care.
“Look at it from my perspective, please. I’m an open book. You know all there is to know. You, on the other hand, I know almost nothing about. Every time I ask you something, you shut me down.” I let some of my frustration out.
He sank onto one of the barstools on the other side of the big island. “I do want to let you in. It’s hard for me. I’m not free with myself the way you are.”
“You think it’s easy for me to be free with myself? It’s not. It’s a battle with myself sometimes. But I have to trust you, I need to trust that you won’t crush me.” I forced myself to look him in the eye so he could see how serious I was.
“I never want to hurt you, Kitten.”
I nodded. “You need to give me something here, Logan.”
“What can I do?”
“Start with that phone conversation. Who were you talking to?”
He sighed. “My mother.”
“What made you so upset?”
“She made insinuations about you that I didn’t appreciate. My mother and I have a very complicated relationship.”
“I see.” I stirred the sauce in the big pot on the stove.
“I don’t want her to ruin anything. She always does.”
“She can't ruin things if we don't let her. Thank you for telling me.” I smiled.
“It’s not going to be easy with me, Kitten, I want you to know that going in. I’m not easy, nothing about me is. You're going to have to work at this with me.”
This bit of honesty was what I wanted. I needed it. “I’m willing to work at it, as long as we’re both on the same page about it.”
The look in his eye changed, shifted to heat, a slow smolder. He was up and around the counter in a moment, and I felt myself being lifted onto the island.
His lips grazed my collarbone. “I want to be what you deserve.”
“You already are,” I whispered. His arms circled me, one hand on my thigh, the other behind my neck.
“Kitten, where are your panties?” he growled as his fingers slid along the smooth skin of my upper thigh.
Thank goodness for skirts. “Um, I didn’t wear any today.” I was not thinking clearly. His fingers traced little circles on my skin.
“Good lord, what am I going to do with you?” He pushed my skirt higher.
“I can think of a thing or two,” I panted as he closed in on the one place I wanted him to be.
“What about dinner?” he whispered against my lips.
“Dinner? It can wait. I think we have more pressing matters to attend to.” I gestured to the front of his pants. It was apparent that he was enjoying himself as much as I was. “Let me just turn off the burners.” I hopped off the counter and turned off all the knobs and put lids on everything.
Logan was leaning against the counter when I turned back around. He had taken his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt. Delicious was the word that came to mind as my gaze raked over his muscled torso.
“Like what you see?” His voice was sex itself. Smooth and seductive. I felt my knees go weak.
“Very much.” I slid the shirt from his shoulders, pressing kisses to his arms as it fell to the floor.
“Care to catch up?” He pointed at my blouse.
“Your wish is my command.” I threw his words back at him while I untucked it from my skirt.
“No, let me.” He took ahold of my hand.
I nodded my acceptance and dropped my hands to my sides.
He
slowly inched my shirt up my stomach, his fingers touching every inch of skin he revealed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful,” he murmured after he had finished removing my shirt.
I took his face in my hands and brought his mouth down to mine. “Let’s go to the bedroom, I think we need a bit more space.”
He picked me up and hauled me over his shoulder. I squealed when he slapped me on the butt. When we got into the room, he practically threw me on the bed after he tore my skirt off.
I watched through my lashes as he took his pants off. He was mouthwatering in nothing but his skin.
“Come here.” I crawled back against the headboard.
He covered me with his body, the weight of him, the heat of his skin, felt like heaven. He parted my legs with his knee and slowly slid in, inch by glorious inch.
I shivered as his lips found mine. “Fast, baby,” I moaned. “I’m ready for it.”
“Anything you say, Kitten,” he growled, setting a merciless pace.
I squeezed his waist with my legs, the feeling so intense, I knew it wouldn’t be long.
“I’m close,” I panted.
“Already? Well, give me a moment to catch up.” His hands moved between us to cup my boobs.
“Sorry,” I said between clenched teeth.
“Never apologize for your pleasure.” He crushed his mouth onto mine a second before I exploded around him. He followed suit soon after.
“Should we consider this make-up sex?” He laughed after he rolled to the side.
“Do you think that was a fight?” I turned to look at him.
“I don’t know, was it?”
“No, believe me, you’ll know when we have a fight. Think of this as a reward for good behavior.” I scooted myself to the side of the bed and went in search of a shirt to put on. I found one of his t-shirts and threw it on quickly.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“To salvage dinner. You should get up, too. The table isn’t going to set itself.”
I heard him laugh as I walked out into the living room. I was pleased to see the food wasn't too far gone. I turned the burners back on and set about heating things up again.
Logan came in a few minutes later wearing a pair of sweats. “I’m here as commanded.”
“You know where everything is.” I pointed a spoon at him. “This will be ready in just a moment.”
When we were seated with food piled on our plates, I decided to see if I could get him to open up more.
“Tell me about your family.” I watched him to see his reaction.
He looked up from his plate. “What would you like to know?”
“Why aren’t you close with your mom?”
“She’s difficult. Wasn't around a lot when I was growing up. Leah and I were raised by nannies and the housekeeper.”
“That sounds hard.” I laid my hand on his.
“It was and it wasn’t. Some years were better than others.”
“What about your dad?”
“He was busy running the company into the ground,” he scoffed. “My grandfather had given him a thriving company and he took it to the brink of ruin in the twenty years he had it under his control. He seemed to care more about chasing women than actually running the company.”
“How old were you when you took over?”
“Nineteen. I met with the board and we kicked him out.”
“Wow. That’s crazy.”
“It was what needed to be done. They wanted him out. Hell, he wanted out. It was killing him, the guilt and worry were taking their toll. He and I didn’t speak for five years after it happened. My mother, of course, was mortified. She fled to Paris for a few years. Until things had quieted down. She always has cared so much about what others thought.”
“Your family sounds pretty screwed up.”
“They are. Leah and I are lucky we had each other.”
“I’d like to meet her.” I smiled.
“You will. We’ll go see her after the baby comes.” He returned my smile.
“What was it your mother said about me?” Hearing it made me nervous, but I needed to at the same time.
His jaw tightened. “You don’t want to know.”
“I really do,” I prodded, steeling myself for the words.
“She called you a gold digging whore. Happy now?” He looked me in the eye and I could see the anger just under the surface.
I sucked in a breath. “She doesn’t know me, how could she think that?”
“It doesn’t matter what she thinks. What I think is what’s important, and I know exactly who you are, Kitten.”
I decided that I had pressed my luck enough for the night and changed the subject to safer topics.
After dinner, we curled up in bed and watched movies until neither of us could keep our eyes open any longer. I drifted off to sleep in his arms, which was right where I wanted to be.
I WOKE UP WITH GRACE wrapped around me like a vine. Anyone else and I would have kicked them out of bed, but with her it was nice.
The plan for the day was for us to go into my office for a bit and sort things into piles to be packed up.
I slipped out of bed and into the shower without waking her up. My conversation with my mother replayed in my head. It still got to me that she thought she had any say over what went on in my life. She was never there when I was growing up. I barely knew her now. That she thought her opinion even mattered got on my nerves.
I needed to make some changes in how our relationship would play out in the future.
“Logan?” Grace appeared in the doorway, her hair rumpled and a sleepy smile on her face.
“Morning, Kitten.”
“Is there coffee yet?” She yawned.
“No, I hadn’t gotten that far yet. Sorry.”
“It’s okay, I’ll pop out there and get it started.” She blew me a kiss and left in search of coffee.
I found her in the kitchen, her hair in a messy bun and flour on her cheek.
“What have you been doing?”
“Making pancake batter,” she replied matter-of-fact. “Grab me the blueberries we got yesterday, please? Oh, and the chocolate chips.”
“Chocolate chips?”
“Of course. You can't have good pancakes without chocolate chips in them.” She grinned.
I got the requested items and set them on the counter next to her.
“Tell me, how are you at flipping pancakes?”
“I’d say poor to fair.” I laughed. “I haven’t ever made them for myself.”
“Good lord, I have so much to teach you, don’t I?” She kissed my cheek and positioned me in front of the stove. “Thank goodness you even had a griddle. Come to think of it, why on earth do you even have cookware if you never cook?”
“You know, I honestly have no idea. I think it was one of those things that I just bought when I first moved in here. All of my apartments have fully outfitted kitchens, though I rarely use them.”
She laughed again. “Okay, well in Chicago we will be using both your kitchen and mine. I’m not eating out for every meal.”
“Both kitchens? You aren’t going to move in with me in Chicago?” I had assumed she would want to be with me.
“No, I don’t plan on moving in with you. I’ll stay over sometimes, but we need to do this right. I’m not jumping in headfirst. We barely know each other, it would be a mistake to move too quickly.” She looked pensive. “Do you understand my reasons?”
I did understand, but that didn't mean I liked them. I was moving my life for her, so she needed to be with me, in my home, in the home we chose together. I searched for the words to explain how I was feeling, but found none, so I remained silent.
“Logan. Look at me,” she demanded. “You understand, right?”
“Grace, Kitten, I’m moving my life to Chicago. For you. I wanted us to choose a place that would be ours, and live in it together,” I said softly.
S
he shook her head. “I’m not moving in with you yet, Logan. I’m just not going to do it. This is all moving so fast, I can barely keep up. I know you’re used to getting your way, but you need to learn the art of compromise.”
“I know how to compromise. I think you need to learn a bit about it as well.” I was angry. I stalked out of the room and into my office.
“Logan!” she yelled from the kitchen.
I shut the door to my office. I knew full well I was not being fair. I had never told her I expected her to live with me, but I just couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling to the surface. I didn’t like being told no. No one told me no. Ever. And here she was telling me no on a regular basis. This was not going to work for me. People did what I wanted, I couldn’t handle or tolerate anything else. It applied to all aspects of my life, including women. I needed control.
The door flew open. “Who do you think you are?” Rage colored her features. “You don’t walk away in the middle of a discussion. And you don’t get to make demands of me and my time. I’m a grown woman and I run my life, not you.” She huffed out a breath.
“Why don’t you want to live with me? Have you not enjoyed the past couple of days?”
“It has nothing to do with enjoying being with you or not. The fact is that we don’t know each other, and I’m not stupid enough to follow along blindly with whatever you want. What happens when this ends and I’m alone with nowhere to go?” she demanded.
“You think this is going to end?” That one hurt. When she said the words. It cut me.
She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know that it will. But things happen. What if, three months from now, you realize that I’m not what you want?”
I saw it clear as day for the first time. Fear. She was just as afraid as I was.
“You are what I want, Kitten.” I stood up and walked around my desk.
“For now I am.” She shrugged, refusing to look me in the eye.
“No. I don’t think you understand me. You are what I want. I have never wanted a woman in my life before. Not once. I want you in my life. You may not see that as a huge revelation, but I assure you that it is.” I rubbed my jaw in frustration with this whole argument.
“I’m still not moving in with you,” she said defiantly.
Never Let Me Go: Part 1 Page 8