by M.A. Stacie
“Mom, I don’t like that,” Levi said. She snatched her hand back from where it covered Taylor’s, worried her son was reading too much into it.
“Levi, it’s a tomato. You eat them all the time.”
His top lip curled in distaste. “I don’t like it.”
“Why are you being so difficult this evening? Everything is a battle.”
Taylor cleared his throat and picked up Levi’s fork. He speared the offending tomato and lifted it to her son’s lips. “Eat.”
“Taylor, don’t—” Libby’s eyes grew wide, her mouth dropping open when Levi bit the tomato and began to chew.
“Don’t push your mom, kid.”
Levi nodded and took his fork from Taylor. “Sorry,” he muttered before eating the remaining food on his plate.
No one spoke for a while, each of them too busy munching. Libby glanced between her two companions, enjoying the company. She hadn’t expected Taylor to be like this. When she’d first met him. She’d seen a side to him she didn’t like. But over the weeks, the man had changed, or rather, he’d shown her another side to himself. Perhaps it was the real him.
“Done!” Levi said. He hopped down from the stool. “Can I go watch TV in my room now?”
Libby checked her watched and nodded. “Brush your teeth first, and I’ll be in before eight o’clock to turn it off.”
Levi waved at Taylor before rushing off toward his room. Libby finished her salad, leaving much of her lasagna.
“Not hungry?” Taylor asked.
“Not really. I need to get Levi’s bike in from the car.”
Taylor pushed his stool back and stood. He helped Libby dispose of the uneaten food and place the dishes in the sink. “I’ll help with the bike, but I think you’ll have to wait.”
“Oh, it’s fine. Levi won’t come out of his room now. His favorite show keeps him locked to the screen.” She smiled.
Taylor cocked his head toward the large window at the front of the house. “Not what I meant. Take a look outside.”
Libby frowned and walked across the room. Nearing the window, she squinted to see through the glass and into the night.
“When I arrived it was just starting. Barely any flakes.”
Snow was falling onto the blanket of white already spread across the fields.
“Wow! It never snows this early in the year.”
She felt him behind her. “It’s not too thick, and it’s easing off now,” he said, his front pressing against her back. “Would you believe the last time I saw snow was when I visited here?”
“It doesn’t snow in Sea Pointe?”
“It tries but it never sticks, and it’s always more like sleet. I haven’t seen snow like this since I was a kid.”
Libby could hear the affection in his tone. She loved the snow. She was about to shout for Levi when Taylor took hold of her hand. He lowered his head, making her meet his intense blue eyes before he said, “Come play with me, Blue.”
Flushing hot, she tried to beat down her reaction to him, but as he stroked her knuckles with his thumb and wiggled his brows, she lost the fight. “Play what?” Her voice was low, husky.
“Just put your coat on.”
“I’m not throwing snowballs,” she said, letting go of his hand and walking over to the door. She took her coat from the peg and tugged it on as Taylor came to stand beside her, buttoning his own dark jacket.
“Just humor me. Please?” He laughed. “Do you know I say please to you more than I’ve ever said it to anyone? What the hell is it about you that gets to me?”
She shot him a quick grin, but her mind wandered to the metal box underneath the sink. Bonding with anyone here would be a mistake. It was already going to hurt terribly when she had to drag Levi away from Josh and everything he’d ever known. And now her son was starting to form a friendship with Taylor, and her heart, no matter how reluctant her head was, pounded whenever he smiled at her. Libby was torn. But Chase was hunting, and he was too close.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. You’re the one who has the answer to that.”
Holding his hand out between them, he said, “Come on. Before it stops.”
Acting on impulse, even though her head warned her to stop, Libby took his hand. She let him drag her out of the house and into the falling snow.
The whole ranch was dusted with pure white. Silence surrounded them and, as they both stared out across the land, Taylor gave her hand a squeeze. She studied him as he turned his face to the sky and closed his eyes as the snowflakes fell onto his cheeks and nose. In profile, his jaw and nose were sharp, possibly a little too harsh. They made him appear aggressive, but the more Libby got to see his nicer side, the more attractive he became.
“This is amazing,” Taylor said, giving her hand another squeeze.
“It seems to be stopping. Levi will be sorry he missed it.”
Taylor startled her when he cupped her face in his hands. “Are we going to talk about the kiss? Or are you going to carry on like it didn’t happen?”
“It shouldn’t have happened at all.” Libby tried to pull away, but he kept his hands on her cheeks.
“You’re the one who asked for it. Why regret it now?”
Exhaling, she pushed the image of the box under the sink out of her mind. Whenever she thought about her affection for Taylor, Chase and the box flashed into her head—a constant reminder to not get too close.
“Josh told me why you’re here,” she said.
Taylor’s shoulders slumped and he dropped his hands. “You don’t need to worry—about Levi or anything. I haven’t taken a thing since I arrived. Not even an aspirin.”
“Good to know.”
“I’m going to talk to Dad about some therapy, a sponsor or some sort of twelve-step program. I have no clue what I’ll need to do. I just know if I want to rid myself of it, I need more help than just being here on the ranch. I suppose you want to talk about it?”
Libby nodded. “I’d like to understand.”
“What?”
She touched his cheek, wiping a snowflake from underneath his eye. “You. I’d very much like to understand you, Taylor Reese.”
He took his lower lip between his teeth as he grabbed on to the collar of her coat. “I can do that, but before we get all serious, how about a bit of fun?”
“And that is?”
Before she could take a breath, Taylor hooked his leg around the back of hers, and she tumbled to the snowy ground. Landing on her back, she blinked up at Taylor before he dropped to the ground and lay next to her, grinning.
“What the hell was that?” she asked.
“That was me getting you where I want you.”
She attempted to get up, but Taylor pushed her back down. “Hey!”
“Fun. We’re down here to have fun.” He stretched out his arms and swung them up and down. “Snow angels!”
Her laughter bubbled up and burst free. “You’re insane.”
He fanned his legs out, matching the movement of his arms. “Maybe, but you like it. You like me.”
Libby turned onto her side and propped her head up with her hand. She smiled as she saw the joy illuminating Taylor’s face. “I think maybe I do.”
He twisted to mirror her position. “You don’t want to like me.”
Libby’s throat constricted. “I have . . . issues that would . . . get in the way.”
“I understand.” He smoothed the backs of his fingers along her jaw. “Can you just not say no?”
“I can’t say anything right now. There are too many complications. I’m confused.”
“You’re not alone. I didn’t come here to find someone . . . well, other than myself, I guess.”
“That’s another reason why we can’t.”
Taylor leaned in, his mouth close to hers. As he spoke his lips caressed her own, and if she’d been standing, her knees would have buckled. “Then stop me, Lib. Stop me from kissing you.”
Her heart pounded once, twice,
three times. “I can’t,” she whispered before pressing her mouth to his.
Chapter 11
“I’m not sure what I’m asking for. I just feel like I need more than isolation if I’m going to stay off the cocaine.” Taylor pinched the bridge of his nose, his entire body shaking with nerves.
Jacob Reese hummed before speaking to someone other than Taylor. “Get them to reschedule. So what do you suggest?”
Taylor waited, having no clue whether his father was speaking to him or the other person. The man couldn’t even spare five minutes to talk to him, and his anger kicked up a notch.
“Taylor? Are you still there?”
“Where else would I fucking be?” he snapped.
His father sighed. “I cannot stop the world for you. I have a business to run. However, I am encouraged by this phone call.”
Gritting his teeth, Taylor reminded himself he needed help. He had no choice but to ignore his father’s distance. “Can you just find out what I should do? Maybe ask Kyran to do some research? I need . . . I . . . I need more.”
“You’re not leaving the ranch, so get that idea out of your head now.”
“I’m not—”
“I don’t know what options that leaves us,” his father said. “I doubt they have an NA or CA anywhere close to you.”
“We could still check—”
“And again, I wouldn’t be comfortable with you leaving the ranch.” Finally he paused, but only for a heartbeat. “I’ll make some phone calls. Maybe we could get you a sponsor. Someone you could communicate with by phone. That could work.”
“Kyran could help find out what my options are.”
“I am quite capable, son. I know how to use the Internet. Anyway, it’s good to know the ranch is helping. I must go. I’ve already had to reschedule one meeting. It pushes back all of my others. I’ll call Josh when I have a plan.”
“Dad, I—” Taylor heard a click. His father had hung up on him. “Fucking—grrrr!” he snarled, slamming down the phone and stomping out of the house. He gasped as the cold air hit his face but continued his march to the stables. He would immerse himself in ranch work. It was all he had now.
It didn’t stop his hands shaking and his guts roiling with the need for the white powder.
Sickness churned within him and he began to sweat. Christ, there had to be something to help him.
He took deep, steadying breaths. The snow had disappeared quickly, but the temperature remained cool. Levi had hoped it would make another appearance, but instead they’d received rain—lots of it. After two whole days, Taylor felt waterlogged. Work on the ranch was difficult enough without the added annoyance of constant rain. Libby had even had to cancel a riding lesson earlier; the paddock was too wet.
He smiled as the thought of their silliness in the snow began to calm him. The woman had a way of making him feel like he was salvageable, like he was worth the time she gave him. In the past, whenever he’d craved attention, his father had made him feel bad for asking.
Not that Libby knew exactly what he wanted. Hell, he wasn’t even sure. He just knew he wanted her in his life, he wanted to prove he was worthy. For that, he’d have to work harder.
Libby had seemed withdrawn since the day they bought Levi’s bike. Taylor told himself he didn’t know her well enough to say that, but something had changed in her that day. In the two days since, she’d been jumpy and reluctant to answer her phone. He’d tried to question her, but when she refused, he couldn’t argue with her secrecy. He had his own burdens to hide.
Grunting, he picked up the straw and shook it into Candy’s stable. His brother would laugh if he saw Taylor now. Mucking out after Josh’s horses and being the ranch’s general handyman was so far removed from their lives in Sea Pointe. A typical day as CFO of the Reese Corporation usually merged into a sea of transactions. At least it had before he’d started the heavy drug use. After the day his world had crumbled, Taylor had spent less time working and more time partying and snorting. All things he couldn’t do at the Lone Tree, and he was glad of it. But it was easy for him to say that now. His options would be limitless when he returned to Sea Pointe, and that scared him. Even after forcing his body to detox from the drugs, after dealing with the stomach cramps, nosebleeds, night sweats, and mood swings, he was still afraid he might risk snorting a line again.
The ranch was a safe place, a haven where he couldn’t just call someone to bring his next fix. Would he cope with the accessibility of drugs back home? Would he make different choices than he had in the past? Talking to someone while he was still at the ranch would help when he returned home. It had to.
All it had taken to tip the balance from recreation to addiction had been one small interaction in the office. One touch, one muttered sentence, and his world had imploded, leaving him with cocaine as his crutch. He admitted he wasn’t the most reliable person before the drugs, but once the cocaine had its stranglehold on him, he was useless. He’d turned into someone he didn’t recognize—someone he wasn’t proud of.
He wondered who he was now. And what he might do with himself now that he no longer had drugs.
He stepped out of the stable and led Candy back inside before closing the gate behind her. Then he walked through the barn to the large doors at the end. The rain had stopped, yet the dampness remained, along with large puddles and muddy patches of grass.
At the sound of hooves in the mud, Taylor looked around to locate the horse, and Libby appeared from around the side of the barn, leading her horse by the reins. Taylor grinned and offered her a small wave. “Hey.”
Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she gripped the reins to stop the stallion Taylor had nicknamed Boss. “Hey back.”
Feeling a bit awkward, he looked up at the sky. “Rain’s stopped.”
Libby smiled. “Very observant of you.”
“You going for a ride?”
“Again, you hit the nail on the head.”
“I’m doing well so far, huh?” He smirked and reached out to touch the sleeve of her padded coat. “Do you have some time later?”
Libby placed her riding hat on her head, moving her hair so it fell down her back. “I have time now.”
“But you’re going riding,” he said, taking a step closer and fastening her hat underneath her chin.
“Come with me. Coco could use a ride out.”
Taylor scowled. “I don’t ride, Blue. I’m a city boy.”
Libby’s green gaze drifted over his body, heating every inch of his flesh under his clothes. His dick throbbed as his balls grew heavy. He’d do anything she asked as long as she continued to look at him with that lustful expression. He’d crawl over hot coals to have her repeat it. She was growing as appealing to him as those lines of toxic white powder.
Licking his lips, he caught the way her cheeks glowed. Libby couldn’t hide her body’s response to him.
“If you want to talk to me, you will.” Shooting him a smug smile, she raised her foot to the stirrup and climbed onto the horse. “I can’t spare any time later. I have birthday presents to wrap.”
Taylor pouted and stroked the horse to stall her. “But I don’t do horses. And I could always help with the gifts. We can talk and wrap.”
“Nope. On the horse or you’ll have to wait.”
He stepped back, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his dirty jeans. He kicked a stone with his boot and snorted as he looked back up to her. “You’re mean. Real mean.” The horse started forward, and Taylor raised his hands. “Wait! I’ll go and get Coco.” He turned and hurried to the stables.
Libby’s light giggle followed him as he rushed to saddle Coco. He worried she was teasing him and when he returned she would have already vanished. He couldn’t go galloping after her. He’d been only eight years old the last time he’d been on a horse and, knowing his luck, Coco would buck him off or race too fast for comfort. He needed Libby’s support.
“Are you coming or not?” Libby shouted.
He fumbled with the reins, muttering for the horse to get a move on. “Dumb, stupid mule.”
“You need to be nicer than that. Coco has a very volatile temperament. A bit like you, really.”
Taylor snorted and steered the horse toward the mound of dirt the kids used to help them get into the saddle. He heard Libby giggle again but chose to ignore it. Better he make a fool of himself this way than falling flat on his ass with his foot still in the stirrup. “Where are we going, anyway?”
Libby ushered the horse into a trot before Taylor had seated himself comfortably. Coco lurched forward, and Taylor’s borrowed Stetson slipped down to obscure his view. He took the reins into one hand and pushed the brim back up.
“Looking like a real cowboy there,” Libby shouted, slowing to trot beside him.
“Yeah, that’s me,” he said. “I think my drug use warped my brain cells or something. Speaking of my drug use, I called my dad earlier. Told him what I think I need now.”
Libby’s smile faded, her green eyes losing their glow. “Why did you use? What made you need that stuff so much?”
Taylor blew out a long exhale. He knew this conversation was going to happen at some point. He’d managed to distract her with snow angels, but he had no excuse this time. He was cornered. “It started like everything does—a bit of fun. A way of forgetting the shit going on with my father.”
“What was that?”
“He’d begun fucking his assistant. His younger assistant. My brother found them together in his office. It started Kyran’s fucked up need to punch guys in the face for fun.” He shook his head. “After watching him pummel some guy into a bloody mess, I started to drink. But one dude offered me more. I took it. I was enjoying myself, snorting a couple of lines at the weekend, but something went down with my dad, and I started needing the oblivion more and more. It happened so fast I couldn’t jam on the breaks. I just allowed the white shit to carry me forward.”
“You sound like you’re talking about someone else. So matter of fact. Cold.” Libby brought her horse to a stop.
“Yeah. I don’t know how else to tell it. I fucked up. I’m a mess. Not exactly prime relationship material, huh?”