Usually I’d take a few days in between cities to relax somewhere, but this time I was planning to head back to New York once I’d taken care of the two clubs in Miami.
Tony had been taking it easy on me the last few days and hadn’t mentioned her since that day in the office, for which I was eternally grateful.
He and mom must’ve had some sort of powwow because she never mentioned her again either, but I could hear the excitement in her voice each time we spoke.
Suddenly she was more interested in coming home than going on the rest of the trip she’d been ecstatic about just a few short days ago. I have to keep her ass out of the country before she has me hitched before I knew what the hell was going on.
That said, I found myself getting more and more anxious the closer the time came to leave and head back to New York. I must’ve checked my watch a hundred times the day I was set to return until even Tony shook his head and gave up.
I was nervous as hell about seeing her again and had all sorts of unmanly thoughts, things I’d never experienced before, not even with my first girl.
Like did she miss me? Was she as miserable without me there as I was? When I found myself giving into such thoughts I’d pull myself back to reality and remind myself that I wasn’t interested.
Why would she miss me? She didn’t even know me. And apart from her constant glances at my office door, I hadn’t seen anything in her actions to say that she had any real interest in me.
From what little I’d seen on the screen, she seemed focused and not at all bothered by my absence. Once again I found myself questioning my own feelings of confusion and why that should bother me so.
I spent way too much time wondering why and how she was able to stay on my mind the way she has. And why each time I thought of her I got this insane urge to protect her; keep her close.
I put my anxiety down to just a natural concern for a young girl alone in the city. I’m sure I would’ve felt this way about anyone else, that she was nothing special.
After all, I’m known for championing the underdog. There was obviously something going on with her and with my penchant for saving lost souls I’d picked up on it that’s all.
I put it all in perspective on the plane ride back and came to the conclusion once again that there was nothing more going on here than my innate need to protect someone I felt needed me.
I know how dangerous my city can be for anyone who doesn’t know the ropes. It was the fact that she was a new transplant who seemingly had no one to rely on, and that hungry look mixed with sadness in her eyes.
These were the things that had thrown me into a tailspin and brought back memories of harder times in my own life. So it wasn’t such a stretch that I had reacted that strongly to her in the beginning.
Tony was off his game this time. He’d misread the situation and put me through this misery for nothing. Maybe that’s the reason he’d stopped pestering me about her.
I felt a little more relaxed now that I’d worked it all out in my head. So what if I still can’t get her out of my mind? That was probably due to the fact that I’d left so soon before making sure that she was settled in her new job.
Or the fact that if she disappeared before I returned I had no way of knowing where to find her from the little bit of information she’d given me.
Not unless I got my security team involved, which would only open the door to a lot of unnecessary questions and gossip.
Now that I had it all figured out I was sure that I would be able to handle seeing her again without losing my mind or acting out of character.
If all had gone well she should’ve started working by now after her training. I had no reason to believe that she hadn’t been hired, but I wouldn’t know since my management staff wasn’t in the habit of reporting such things to me unless it was someone I’d recommended in the first place.
As the pilot announced our approach I felt a quickening in my blood. My heart raced and my body felt like someone had lit a match under my skin. There was no denying that I was excited about seeing her again.
But that too I put down to my natural instinct to see someone in need succeed. If she was having a hard time, wasn’t it only normal for me to want to see her situation change for the better?
I was halfway out of my seat before the plane came to a full stop. I caught Tony watching me with a smirk on his face and ignored him. What does he know?
He whistled behind me as we deplaned and I wanted to plant my fist in his face, but controlled myself. If I entertained his bullshit he’d only make my life miserable.
My mind was already settled, I didn’t need his words confusing me all over again. “What are you looking at?” Did he think I couldn’t feel him watching me?
“Who me, nothing? Where to? Are we going to the apartment or downtown?”
“Take me to the club.” We were in the car on our way into the city from the airstrip on Long Island.
I didn’t look up from reading the paper that had been left in the backseat to answer him because I didn’t want to see that knowing look on his face. Jackass!
He may not have been saying shit to me about her these past few days, but I didn’t believe for a second that he was through messing with my ass.
I’d noticed that his choice of music here of late had changed. Instead of blasting Jay Z or that damn Trap Queen that he’s been stuck on for years, his new favorite is some crap about everyone falling in love sometimes.
I’m not sure who the hell he thought he was fooling with that shit, but if he’s not careful I’d tear the damn system out of the dashboard.
I threw the paper aside when the words started to run together and I couldn’t make heads nor tails of what the hell I was reading.
“Problem?” He glanced in the rearview mirror. “Why don’t you just drive the damn car?” He laughed and turned up the music louder, bopping his head and singing along.
He was having a blast, but the joke’s on him. Now that I was back on firm ground I was about to prove him wrong. Won’t he feel like an ass when all of this came to nothing?
We got to the club a half an hour before call time for the evening staff. Instead of going straight to my office I headed to the dining room to find the manager.
“Good evening sir.”
“How’s the new girl working out?”
“Who Belle…?” What the fuck?
“Her name is Annabelle.” I glared at him like I wanted to eat his liver and both kidneys for dinner.
“Um, uh, yes sir, sorry. Annabelle’s been working out very well sir. She’s a hard worker and she learns really fast. We haven’t had any real issues with her but she’s only been on staff a few days.”
“Thanks.” I walked away a little more annoyed than was called for at his use of a pet name for her. Where the hell does he get off? My face was tight.
Back in my office I pulled up her schedule, which I should’ve done before approaching him. The last thing I needed was wagging tongues, but it was already done.
She was on Monday through Thursday four until midnight. What was she doing with her weekends? The things that popped into my head doesn’t bear thinking about.
Hadn’t I told her that weekends were the busiest times here? I calmed myself down once I remembered that the staff members who were here the longest were given priority when it came to the better shifts.
I played around with the idea of changing it in her favor but then thought better of it. That was one sure way to cause drama. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to the others who’d been waiting for a weekend spot to open up.
I sat at my desk killing time and fighting the urge to do more than sit and wait. Alone with my thoughts, all the same old questions came rushing back.
No one knew better than myself that I was acting out of character. The closer it got to the time for her to come through the door, the more anxious I became.
I was back to checking my watch and cursing under my breath. No wonder Tony thin
ks that I’ve fallen for her. I felt like a complete ass sitting there twiddling my thumbs, counting down the minutes until she got here.
Even so, I couldn’t resist checking the security monitor for her arrival every few seconds. I breathed a sigh of relief when she came through the door ten minutes later, that same ugly jacket dwarfing her small frame.
She looked much younger, with her hair piled on top of her head; her slender neck bare. And I realized for the first time that she didn’t wear makeup.
There was no lipstick, and from the fresh look of her face when I zoomed in I could tell she wasn’t wearing anything there either. In fact she wore no enhancements at all, not even earrings.
Compared to the others here she should’ve paled into the background. Instead her fresh natural beauty drew the eye. Why is she so fucking appealing? Why does everything about her tug at me until I can’t think straight?
I practically ate her up with my eyes, glad that I was finally back here where she is. That I could walk through the door and look at her all I wanted to without a screen and a few thousand miles between us.
I was caught by the way she reacted when she saw Tony at his usual spot by the bar. She stopped just inside the door and stared at him, almost as if she was surprised to see him there.
And when her eyes went immediately to my closed office door, I got that little blip in my gut. Was she looking for me? Was that a flash of excitement in her eyes? Can you be any more fucking pathetic?
What the fuck is wrong with you? How long has it been since I got laid? Perhaps that’s my problem. But if that’s the case how come none of the other females here or in Miami had caught my interest?
There’s never a shortage of women waiting for my call, but I hadn’t even thought of anyone else since we met. The truth is, the thought of taking anyone else to my bed is starting to feel wrong, almost like a betrayal.
The shit made no sense, even if I was interested in her. That’s never stopped me before. It wasn’t that unusual for me to play the field, juggling more than one bedmate at the same time.
That was another thing that was confusing the hell outta me. Her air of innocence would usually be a natural repellant. I never get tangled up with anyone who doesn’t play the game. If they don’t know the rules, I don’t engage.
The women I take to my bed are all sophisticated enough to know that they might not be the only one. And more importantly, that our time together is nothing more than a casual fling that once over that was the end of it. And I never come back for seconds.
Maybe I’m paying for all my years as a player. For all the females I’d left weeping in my wake. Didn’t a few of them curse me to just such a fate after I left them?
If I remember correctly I’d been warned more than once that my day would come by an incensed female on her way out.
I never paid that shit too much attention since I’ve always been sure of myself, and my ability to keep my heart out of the dangerous clutches of any female.
Now I find myself wondering if I’d met my match. If all the things I felt for her were evidence of the great Max Carrington’s downfall.
Chapter 9
I felt nervous and twitchy, like my skin was on fire now that she was so near. “What the fuck is he saying to her?” I watched through the screen as Tony spoke a few words to her before she walked away.
I watched her on the monitor before growing annoyed with myself. I rested my head back against the chair and tried to clear my clouded mind. Now that I was here I was starting to feel like a damn fool.
I’d rushed back here for her, no sense in lying to myself any longer. I haven’t so much as held her hand, except that day when I was dragging her around. But already she has me tied up in knots in a way that I can’t understand.
I realized that since I first saw her I haven’t truly been myself. My mind, instead of being on my business as it usually is, has been filled with thoughts of her. No wonder Tony has so much to say. Speak of the devil.
He opened the door just then and came in, plopping his ass down in the guest chair like I’d invited him. What nonsense is he about to spit at my ass now?
“What is it?” He just sat there looking at me, not speaking, until I was forced to address him. What I really wanted to know is what he’d said to her.
“I like her.”
“What the fuck do you mean by that? Stay away from her.” He actually snorted.
“Why? I thought you weren’t interested?”
He laughed when I jumped up from my chair and came after him. “Chill bro, I don’t mean it like that. I mean I like her…for you.” He stepped back out of my reach.
“You my pimp now?” I walked back around the desk to my seat.
“She has the right qualities about her and I get the feeling she won’t put up with any of your shit. You need someone like that to keep you grounded.”
“You got all that from just a few words?” I didn’t appreciate his grin at my expense, or the fact that I’d given myself away. He didn’t say shit else until
I raised my brow at him. Asshole was fucking with me on purpose.
“Saw that did you?” The fool turned the iMac screen towards him and smirked. The security screen was still up.
“I had a feeling that’s what you were in here doing.” He looked up at me seriously and I got up and moved to the window to look out. He sees too much and I wasn’t ready for anyone to see how twisted up she had me. I don’t think I can laugh this shit off any longer.
“Why don’t you just…” I shook my head and took a deep breath and sighed, cutting him off before he went any farther. As my oldest and dearest friend I’ve shared everything with him over the years.
But this was the one thing I didn’t feel like I could. Maybe because I still had questions myself, or because I knew that once I opened that door there would be no turning back. “Max, I know you like to make things difficult for yourself, but this is a no brainer.”
“You don’t have to marry the girl for fuck sake, but don’t you owe it to yourself to see where this is going? I haven’t said anything in the last few days. I was giving you time to come to terms with it on your own, but you don’t seem to be.”
“I’d hate for you to deny yourself true happiness because of some fucked up belief. You’re not your old man.” The words sliced through me like a knife. I should’ve known that he would see through my shit.
I knew there was no use hiding anything from him but still I’d tried. If anyone would he’d know that one of the things holding me back was my fear. I knew she was the forever type, could feel that shit in my gut from the get. And that’s the main reason I’m fighting so hard to turn this into anything but love.
I’d promised myself a long time ago that I would never do to an innocent what my father had done to my mother. That’s the reason I kept my relationships to more experienced women. Women who knew the score. Women I had no interest in spending the rest of my life with.
“So I repeat, why don’t you just stop hiding your feelings and see where this thing goes? I’ve never seen you this tied up in knots over a female before. I don’t want you to…”
“I still don’t know what it is that I feel for her Tony. It’s all confusing as hell. If it was lust I could deal with it like I always do. But there’s something else at play here, only I don’t know what that something is.”
But the fact that she’s stayed on my mind this long, that she draws bittersweet memories of my childhood to the forefront, makes me wonder. And along with the wonder comes worry. Worry for her. I can see her getting into my bed but I can’t see her getting out. Scares the fuck outta me.
“That right there should tell you something. You’ve never given this much thought to any of your past entanglements. Besides, I saw the way you looked at her that day before she even came through the door.”
I should’ve known he would. He’s always watching, even here, to make sure I’m safe. I didn’t bother to ask him what he though
t he saw, just left that statement hanging in the air.
How easy it would be to follow his advice. To just take until I had my fill and she was out of my system. Then I could go back to the uncaring man I’d trained myself to be.
I had no doubt that I could break down her barriers. That I could make her want me as much as I was coming to want her. But that fear of fucking up someone’s life plagued me.
Had she been more-worldly it would be a cake walk. But that’s just it. It was her innocence that had my ass in a dilemma. Her innocence and that look in her eyes that haunts me still.
After years of avoiding her type she’d fallen into my lap out of nowhere. From that first moment until now she’d barely left my thoughts for more than a few minutes at most. And the harder I fought this, the more I knew that I was only fighting the inevitable.
Coming onto the end there in Miami I could barely taste my damn food, that’s when I remembered to eat at all. She’d interrupted my eating, my sleep, even the way I did my business.
Was I only fooling myself? Had she already infiltrated my life to the point that I had no other choice but to give in? What if I’m wrong?
What if this wasn’t love, but something less life changing? I kept coming back full circle and my indecision must’ve shown on my face when I turned around, because Tony had a troubled look on his face. Was I that bad?
“You’ll figure it out, I have no doubt. Just don’t deny yourself something good if it comes to that. Not to get all mushy on you, but you deserve some good in your life just like everybody else.”
“Isn’t my life good? It’s a far sight better than what either of us grew up with.” I shoved my hands in my pockets and paced in front of the window.
“Yes, but a good woman makes everything even better.”
“Woman? She’s barely out of fucking childhood.” That was also something else that was bothering me, her age.
Someone that young would get clingy and start building dreams in her head or some shit. What if I take her to my bed and it doesn’t work out? Will she be able to move on like the others? Or will she hate me for not loving her enough?
The Dancer Page 7