Each morsel that Tommy put in his mouth was a new experience, bursting with rich flavor. He tried a little bit of everything, but the crispy pork belly was the most incredible thing he ever tasted. The deliciously sweet aroma of pork filled the house the second he walked through the front door. It was the same mouth watering pork that Angel made the first time he cooked a meal for him and Jessi. The pork was covered with a marinade, called Mojo, made with tons of garlic and orange juice. It was a Cuban staple and it had its own story, which Mr. Garcia told with pride for his culture.
“Everything is delicious, Mr. Garcia, but, you didn’t have to go to so much trouble.”
“It is my pleasure. I cook for strangers every day, but when I cook for my family, I cook with love. There is no need to be so formal, please call me Ricardo. You are friends of my son. We have shared a meal in my home. Now we are family, too.”
The man spoke with sophistication and distinction. It was clear that he was the well respected head of the family. Every word that rolled off his tongue was filled with class. His accent was a little more detectable than Angel’s mother, but his English was perfect and formal. He was charming and debonair. A true gentleman.
Maria, Angel’s sister, sat next to Jessi and had her engaged in conversation about fashion since the moment they sat down.
Nesto, Angel’s brother, seems infatuated with Jessi and vied with his sister for Jessi’s attention.
“Let the girl enjoy her meal,” Mr. Garcia scolded them. “Do not inundate her with your banter. Let her eat in peace.”
“I don’t mind at all,” Jessi replied. “Is it OK if I help myself to more paella? Out of all the wonderful things on this table, it’s my favorite.”
Nesto promptly refilled her plate with a serving spoon full of paella. Jessi waved her hand, indicating she wanted more.
A commanding gust of air bellowed from Mr. Garcia’s lungs and took the form of a short laugh. “It makes me happy that you enjoy the food that I have prepared, Senora Jessica. You eat con mucho gusto for such a skinny girl.”
“Do you speak the language?” Mrs. Garcia asked, taking a sip of her wine.
Both Jessi and Tommy shook their heads.
“Well then, we only speak English today. We will not be rude to our lovely guests.”
“You should learn Spanish,” Angel’s father said. “It is the language of romance.”
“Yes, it’s very romantic. I love when Angel speaks of me in Spanish.” Tommy put his hand on Angel’s knee, concealed under the mighty table, and they exchanged a secretive smile.
“You have very beautiful hair, Jessica,” Mrs. Garcia commented. “Are you a hair dresser?”
“No. I work at a fashion house. I’m an associate designer. Unfortunately, I never finished my degree at FIT and it’s working against me, but they like my designs. They haven’t put their label on any of my garments yet, but I give them input. Some they use, some they don’t. My designs are a little too edgy for their aesthetic.”
“You are woman of many talents.” Mrs. Garcia seemed impressed. “My son tells me of the hard work you do for him and his band. I hope you do not perceive me as lazy. I only teach at the school and help the children with their Spanish.” Her eyes scanned the feast on the table. “And the men do all the cooking in the Garcia household.”
“Lazy? Never. Your home is immaculate.”
Angel’s dad chuckled. “You can’t leave a glass on the table unattended for five minutes or my wife will dispose of it in the dishwasher.”
“Now I know where Angel gets it from,” Tommy said with a smile. “He’s a lot like you Mrs. Garcia.”
Her dazzling smile mimicked Angel’s. “Thank you. That is a very nice compliment since I am always told what a good son I have raised.” She primped her flowing dark hair with the palm of her hand. “And I am Angelita, by the way. So, my son tells me he is living in your house now. This was unexpected news to us. It is unusual for a young married couple to take in a grown man.”
“Angelita, please, we do not interrogate our guests.”
Her eye twinkled at her husband. “But I thought they were family now, mi amor? And you know that there are no secrets between family.”
“Sometimes, even family needs a little privacy. And I thought we were speaking English today.”
Angelita held up her wine glass. “Touché, my love.” She giggled. It was Angel’s adorable laugh, only lighter. “Forgive me, I think that was French.”
Tommy admired Angel’s parents. They were loving toward one another and it extended to all who entered their home. There was no judgment. He almost felt compelled to tell them how much he loved Angel.
While Tommy and Jessi waited for him in the car, Angel stayed back to speak to his mother. He already knew what she was going to say.
“You love this man.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. “A mother knows her son. He loves you too, but he also loves her. He is a married man. He will not leave his wife for you, muchacho. And we do not break up a marriage. It is not right.”
It was hard for Angel to respond. He wanted to explain, but he was torn by his loyalty to Tommy. He couldn’t lie to his mother and he couldn’t betray Tommy’s trust. He let out a deep breath. “I don’t want to break up their marriage. I love Jessi.”
She raised one eyebrow. “So now you love women too?”
“No. I love her like family.”
“Yes. But I still do not approve of this.” She put her hand on his chest. “Your heart is too big. It will break.”
“Trust me, mami. I know what I’m doing. I can’t explain it now, but soon. I promise.”
“I trust you, mijo, but a mother still worries.” She kissed his cheek and patted his shoulder. “Go, your friends are waiting. And tell Damien I want him at my dinner table very soon. Alyssa too.”
Angel slipped behind the wheel of the car and waved to his mother who blew him a kiss from the front door.
Tommy also waved at her. “She knows, doesn’t she?”
“Of course she knows. Nothing gets past her. We’d have an easier time putting something over on Jessi than on my mother.”
Jessi stuck her head in between them from the back seat. She was munching on leftover paella from a plastic container in her lap. “Your parents are the most amazing and extraordinary people I’ve ever met. I wish my parents were like them. You’re lucky they live in Florida and you can escape an introduction.” She started to sit back, but stopped. “Oh, and, just for the record, I love your sister and your brother. Why didn’t you give Maria any of my Immortal Angel corset tops?”
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t think of it. I will, next time I see her.”
“What did you tell her?” Tommy interrupted them.
“Tell who?”
“Your mother.”
“Oh.” Tommy was still so anxious about anyone knowing he was bisexual that thoughts were still bouncing around in his head. “She was only worried about my heart. She doesn’t want me to get hurt. I told her not to worry. I would explain it another time.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jimmy and Damien knew something was going on between Angel and Tommy right away, but they never said anything. Tommy was most comfortable around them. He was OK with an occasional arm around the shoulder or kiss on the cheek in public, but that was it. And sometimes, depending on who was around, that was too much.
Jimmy brought his new girlfriend to the house today. Girlfriend was a loose term. Flavor of the month was more appropriate. Maybe it was because Jimmy was the only single member of the band, but girls flocked to him. He had a piece of practically every girl at The Quadrangle. Tommy didn’t recognize Jimmy’s latest conquest, though, and her inquisitive eye made him uncomfortable. As the night went on, her eyes were no longer inquisitive. They were passing judgment on him, harsh and derogatory – at least that’s the way it felt.
Angel kept trying to put his arm around Tommy’s shoulder, but Tommy kept maneuvering o
ut of its way. The annoyance started to show on Angel’s face, which made Tommy even more self-conscious. Angel was wonderfully patient, but Tommy knew that he was tired of keeping their relationship a secret.
Tommy was embarrassed at his behavior. He was distant and pushed Angel away for hours. As soon as everyone left, he apologized. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that girl, and I thought she was fabricating shit about me in her head. She kept watching us. It made me defensive and uncomfortable.”
Angel glared at him for several seconds before his face softened. “I understand. But I think it’s a good idea if we explain our relationship to Damien and Jimmy. This way, the first two people we tell, pretty much know already. It’ll make it easier to—”
“No. I’m not ready. Why can’t you understand how hard it is for me?” Tommy’s stomach flip flopped. He couldn’t face the truth – not out loud. He was just accepting that he was bisexual in his head. He couldn’t tell other people yet. He didn’t want to endure their ridicule.
“I know it’s hard, but it’s not going to get any easier.” Angel was sympathetic and understanding. “I’ll be there with you. You know that Damien and Jimmy already know, anyway.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want people going around saying that I’m a faggot.”
“People are more open-minded, now. It’s the 21st century.”
“Like no one still calls you a faggot? I’m not ready for that kind of humiliation.” It was an unintentional low blow, and by the look on Angel’s face, it hit a sore spot.
Angel’s forehead disclosed a troubled frown. “Nice. That’s really fuckin’ nice, Tommy. I’m trying to help you, and you throw something like that up in my face.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Forget it. Forget I said anything. When you’re ready to tell people you’re my boyfriend, let me know. I’m done trying to talk to you.”
Angel tried to stomp upstairs, but Jessi stopped him. She had been silently watching their argument. “Calm down, Angel. Talk to him. Don’t get mad. I know how you feel.”
“Do you?” Angel raised his brow. “Your relationship is out in the open. Everyone knows you two are together. They think I’m just trailing along like a lost dog.”
Jessi was deep in thought for a few seconds, before she turned to Tommy. “Baby, Angel’s right. Why hide it? I’m not embarrassed of the way we live. It’s our life. People are going to give me shit too, you know. What do you think my family’s going to say? I know people aren’t going to understand, but who cares?”
“I care. Stop ganging up on me. I’m still trying to deal with everything. You two are OK with who you are. I’m not.”
“What do you mean you’re not OK with who you are? You’re sweet, kind, and talented. You’re loving and you have a good heart. Why do you think me and Angel love you so much?”
“Tommy,” Angel took a step forward, “let’s just tell Jimmy and Damien. We’ll tell them not to say anything. We’ll start there. OK?”
“No. Stop pressuring me.” He marched upstairs and sat down on the couch in the spare bedroom. Jessi was right. Why the hell did he care what people thought of him? So, he wasn’t the rugged college football jock that his family thought he was. Who the fuck cares? His father, that’s who, and he was afraid his younger brother wouldn’t idolize him anymore.
Tommy leaned his head back on the couch and pushed his fingers through the length of his hair. There was always a fight going on inside his head. He couldn’t think about it anymore. His head hurt. He put his hands over his eyes and stopped thinking. Random words popped into his head, then formed sentences. He was subconsciously explaining to Angel exactly how he felt. He was explaining the turmoil and ambiguity of who he was, the fear and pressure society put on him, the fear to openly love whoever you wanted. He wished he could’ve said those words to Angel, instead of storming out of the room.
Tommy was surprised Angel stuck around this long. Angel was wonderful. So was Jessi. He loved them both so much and for so many different reasons. He suddenly stopped feeling sorry for himself and realized he was a very lucky man. He had the most beautiful, unselfish woman in the world, who stood by him, no matter what. She believed in him, when he didn’t believe in himself. He owed all his success to her. Without her, he probably would have given up on his dream a long time ago, and he would have led a miserable life, denying his true identity.
Then there was Angel, wonderful, sensitive Angel, who fulfilled his every desire and need. Angel was the only person who truly understood him. Angel was the only person he shared a kinship with. He couldn’t live without either one of them. He needed to tell them how much he loved them.
He picked up his guitar and strummed a soft melody. It was nothing like the fast-paced punk rock songs he wrote with Angel, and completely opposite from the hardcore thrash metal he wrote for his old band. Words flowed from his mouth as his fingers skipped across the guitar. He didn’t need to think. The song was already composed. It only needed to escape his subconscious. It was brilliant, touching and heartfelt. It portrayed every emotion trapped within his heart. He should have turned to his guitar a long time ago. Music was always the answer.
He went downstairs, guitar in hand, to play the song for Angel.
Before he said anything, he stood there and looked at Angel and Jessi for a few seconds.
“I’m so sorry, Angel. I don’t know why you put up with me. All I do is push you away. I would die if you treated me like that. I love you. I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt how much I love you.”
“And, Jessi, you sacrificed everything for me. Why? Why would you do that? Why do you love me so much?”
“Is that a serious question?”
“Yes. I don’t understand how you could put my feelings and my happiness before your own. Everything you do is for me.”
“I love you, baby. I want you to be happy.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I wish you loved yourself half as much as we love you.”
“She’s right,” Angel said. “My whole world changed when I met you.”
“No, my whole world changed when I met you. You made me look inside and see who I really am. I was afraid to do that. I was afraid I wouldn’t like what I saw or who I was. You gave me the courage and the strength to do that, Angel, and I’m eternally grateful.” He held up his guitar. “I wrote a song. It’s about all the shit I put myself through, all the shit I felt inside – the turmoil and the hate – and without you, I wouldn’t have been able to see that the real me, isn’t so bad. And without Jessi, I wouldn’t have been able to get through any of the shit that was in my head.”
“Well, let’s hear it.”
Tommy sat on the couch and put the guitar on his knee. He pulled out the crumpled piece of paper from his pocket that contained the lyrics. He knew he couldn’t sing for shit, but the meaning and the feeling were there, and his emotion was pure and raw.
When he was done, Jessi was crying.
Angel was beaming. He took Tommy’s face in his hands and kissed him. “That was beautiful. You just wrote our new hit song.”
For the first time in Tommy’s life, he felt at peace. He had two people who loved him. They were the only two people in the world who mattered. Calmness washed over him, and it left him serene and tranquil. It was an epiphany.
“Everyone knows how much I love you Jessi, but no one knows how much I love you, Angel, and I want people to know. I want everyone to know. I don’t want to hide my love for you. I’m not ashamed of it.” He slowly nodded his head. “I’m ready.”
Angel and Tommy stayed up all night working on the song. Angel sang it a dozen different ways. They were all good, but he needed to get into the studio. He needed Jimmy to put down a beat and he needed Damien to lay down a bass line. He didn’t care how late it was, he called them both and told tell them to get to the studio first thing in the morning.
“Dude, it’s four in the morning,” Damien complained. “You could’ve waited a couple of hours to call m
e.”
“I’m too excited. You know the first time you hear a new song, and you can tell it’s going to be a big hit right away? Well this song is like that, and it’s not even finished yet.”
“Really? It’s that good?”
“Yeah. It’s that good.”
“I can’t wait to hear it. It’s perfect timing for the Battle of the Bands.”
The Battle of the Bands was next month. Angel totally forgot about it. It was a showdown between a long list of local bands, voted on by the neighborhood fans. Each week more bands were eliminated, and the winner would get to open at the America Rocks Festival.
The America Rocks Festival was an annual event on the Fourth of July that celebrated music and freedom. It was an outdoor event that drew thousands of people. It was highly televised and featured an array of top performers, followed by a lavish display of fireworks. The event always attracted major record labels. Damien was right. This could be the big break they needed, and Tommy’s new song would guarantee them their spot at America Rocks.
Angel and Tommy got to the studio before anyone else. As they went through the song again, Angel wondered if Tommy planned on telling Damien and Jimmy about their relationship today. He thought about asking Tommy, but decided against it. He didn’t want to pull any focus away from the song, and he didn’t want to put any additional pressure on Tommy. He would just have to wait and trust that Tommy would live up to his promise, sooner rather than later.
Damien arrived a few minutes later and gave Tommy a big bear hug. “So how’s our new hit songwriter? You rock, dude.”
The Prince of Punk Rock Page 16