Her cries slowed to a whimper but she still hid her eyes behind the veil of the tissue. It was like the wall that he hid behind for so many years – paper thin, ready to disintegrate at any moment, but still offering the protection of concealment.
“Please look at your son, Barbara. I know you still love him, but I’m not so sure he does, and it’s breaking my heart.” Jessi’s eyes mirrored his sadness. She squatted down next to his mother again. “Doesn’t it break your heart to know that he thinks you don’t love him anymore? Just look at him. Please.”
Very slowly, the wall made of tissue inched down his mother’s face and she finally looked at him. The pain in her eyes almost made Tommy fall apart. His mouth twitched and his eyes moistened. He steeled his jaw and swallowed.
Her shaking hand touched his cheek and he leaned into it. “I still love you, Tommy. You’re still my little boy.”
He wrapped his arms around his mother’s neck and held her too tightly. She returned love and acceptance in her embrace.
She sniffled and wiped her nose with the leftover fragments of the discarded tissue. “I still don’t understand. Who lives like this?”
“We do, Mom. This isn’t about you, or Dad or what anybody thinks. This is about me. It’s about who I am.”
His father’s approaching footsteps made him tense and straighten up. He stood tall, undaunted and unashamed. Robert walked ahead and slung his arm around Tommy’s shoulder and gave him a quick squeeze, but Tommy didn’t flinch. He watched his father’s impending figure grow closer with each step.
They stood head to head once again, each defying the other.
“Have you changed your mind about how you want to portray your friendship with this . . . singer?”
“His name’s Angel and it’s not a friendship. He’s my partner.”
The muscles in his father’s jaw tensed and he spoke through his clenched teeth. “If that’s the way you want to live your life, live it somewhere else.”
He knew he father would never accept his lifestyle. He was done. “Fine. You’re still my father and I still love you, but if that’s the way you feel, goodbye, Dad.” He turned to leave but his mother’s high shrill voice cut through the air and stopped him mid-stride.
“No! My son is always welcome in this house!”
“Barbara,” his father cautioned, “sit back down and stay out of this.”
“He’s our son!” His mother brazenly stood at his side. It was probably the first time she ever stood up to Martin Blade. She was at least a foot smaller than him and her voice was a mousy squeak compared to his commanding baritone, but she was momentous in her convection. “Martin, I’ve always stood by your decisions, but I will not stand by and let you ostracize our son from this family!”
“If you’re trying to tell me that you agree with this sordid behavior, maybe you should leave with him.”
“I’m not going anywhere! You’re not running me out of my own home and you’re not chasing our son away either!” She pointed the index finger of her fragile hand at him. “If anyone is leaving, it’s you!”
Martin Blade did something he probably never did before in his life. He recoiled and showed emotion. Whether it was because he was stunned that his wife of 30 some odd years was defying him, or because she threatened to throw him out of the house, he was wounded. “You can’t be serious?”
“I have never been more serious about anything in my life.” She curled her hand around Tommy’s arm, and he felt the shake in her limbs. “There are two sons in this family. And a daughter-in-law. And now we have another son. Angel. Get used to it!”
Martin closed his eyes and swallowed as if he was digesting a rancid piece of meat. “I’m not OK with this, Barbara.”
Robert walked around the table and stood next to Tommy and his mother, forming a united front. “You have to at least try. You can’t turn your back on Tommy. Me and Mom aren’t.”
Jessi joined them, leaving Martin to stand alone, imbalanced and teetering. Her voice was kind and sympathetic. “Listen, Martin, I know it’s a shock and unconventional, and no one expects you to embrace the idea overnight. Just . . . take it slow. One day at a time. After a while, you’ll accept it.”
The anger in his father’s eyes was slowly diminishing, and he appeared to be listening.
Barbara looped her free hand through Robert’s arm, holding onto her two sons like bookends, or more like using them to support her shaking body. “You’re not breaking up this family, Martin.”
Tommy was never more proud to be Barbara Blade’s son.
It was quiet again.
Tommy stepped back and spread his arms. “Here I am, Dad. This is it. It’s me. Your son. And I make no apologies for who I am. Take it or leave it. I’ll walk out that door and you’ll never see me again. It’s your call.”
His father opened his mouth to say something, then stopped and huffed. He looked at the faces of his family, staring back at him with judgment. He took a long brooding pause and then let out a gruff breath. “I’m not comfortable with this. But . . . maybe, in time, I could learn tolerance.” He stuck out his arm and offered his hand.
Tommy closed the door and leaned against it with a heavy sigh, unable to move. At least it was over and his father was still talking to him.
Jessi rubbed his chest with her hand. “It wasn’t that bad, baby.”
Angel was waiting, with the familiar look of concern that was always displayed across his handsome face whenever Tommy was the slightest bit upset. “I wish you would have let me come with you.”
“I didn’t want you there. I didn’t want you to fall victim to my father’s narrow-mindedness.”
“It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before, Tommy. I wanted to be there to support you, but I understand.” Angel led him to the couch. “Sit down. I’ll make you some tea.”
“Tea?” Tommy laughed a little. He never drank tea. This wonderful man always calmed his angst with the least amount of effort. “I need something a lot stronger than tea.”
Angel disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a stout glass filled with some kind of amber liquid. Tommy threw back half the contents of the glass in one big gulp. The alcohol burned his throat and he coughed on the harsh taste of Johnnie Walker.
“Your brother was there, right?”
“Yeah. But it didn’t make it any easier to tell my father about us. You know he’s not crazy about you to begin with.”
“How bad was it? Tell me.”
He wasn’t about to tell Angel of his father’s initial shock and horror, or the ugly things he said. He couldn’t tell Angel that his mother cried harder than she did when her own mother died.
Angel pulled him in for a close embrace. “Talk to me, mi amor. Tell me what happened.”
Angel was always full of empathy and compassion. He couldn’t hurt him with the nasty details. “It was pretty bad, at first, but I think it’ll be alright.” He paused. “Thank you, Angel, for giving me the courage to tell my parents something I struggled with my whole life. I never would have been honest with them if it weren’t for you.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Fifteen bands, one stage, three eliminations a week. The last band standing at the end of the Battle of the Bands would open at America Rocks, the highly anticipated music festival celebrating the Fourth of July.
Angel saw Kendall earlier, before the start of the show, and they wished each other luck. She seemed excited about performing and they actually had a halfway decent conversation. It was probably the first one they had in years that wasn’t full of undertones and implications.
Her set wasn’t good. Angel felt bad for her. She should have just sung in her key, instead of trying to hit notes that were way out of her reach. Her 15 minute set was nothing except a high-pitched scream. He was surprised every dog in the neighborhood wasn’t howling at the door.
Even if she was concocting a scheme, there was no way she was going to advance to steal the win after the s
Shortly afterwards, Angel saw her pitching a fit with someone who worked for the bar. He didn’t know what she was so upset about, but security was standing with them and Angel had the feeling she was getting herself thrown out of the bar. He didn’t stick around to find out what it was about. Immortal Angel was scheduled to play next.
They were performing their top four songs. There was no room for error. This wasn’t entirely the band’s crowd. Some fans were there, Audra and Kira, plus other familiar faces from The Quadrangle, but it was mostly a mashup of people who came out to vote on local music. Most of them probably never heard of Immortal Angel before today. The band needed to impress them with their music ability and Angel needed to win them over with his vocals. He was confident that they could do it.
Normally, Tommy announced the band’s entrance from the side of the stage with a snippet of one of his elaborate guitar solos, but the venue where Round One of the Battle of the Bands was taking place was an ordinary bar. There was no stage. No back room. Only an area sectioned off where the bands were set to perform.
Angel stood poised, with both hands on the mic stand. Jimmy took a seat behind his Tama kit and tightened a skin. Damien rested his hand on the neck of his bass, proudly wearing a guitar strap that read “Immoral Angel” in heavy metal studs. Tommy was missing and the audience mumbled amongst themselves, speculating the cause of the hold up.
The sound of Tommy’s guitar sang through the air. He made a dramatic entrance from the far end of the bar, opposite the stage. The crowd opened into a giant V as he ran to the stage, holding his Les Paul up in the air and strumming a riff that woke the audience.
Jimmy clacked his sticks together, one, two, three, four, and the unrestrained composition of Cyanide Sensation rocked the small bar.
At the end of the night Immortal Angel aced through Round One of the Battle of the Bands.
When the five week long Battle of the Bands was over, Immortal Angel stood victorious. The win guaranteed their place on the main stage at America Rocks. It was an opportunity that came around once in a lifetime. The record label executives were sure to notice Immortal Angel.
The night before American Rocks, Damien stopped by the house and said he needed to talk to Angel.
“Whatever you do, keep your dick in your pants and your tongue in your mouth,” he said.
“What the hell are you talking about, Damien?”
“Look, I’m happy for you and Tommy. I have no problem with it, you know that. But suits and ties aren’t going to be so open-minded. Don’t blow it by getting carried away on stage. After it’s all over, you can fuck Tommy on stage for all I care, but when we’re up there at America Rocks, keep your hands off him.”
A part of Angel felt offended and insulted that Damien thought he would jeopardize their chance at getting signed by exhibiting lewd behavior on stage. He was a professional. He knew how to play the game. He was surprised that Damien knew enough to warn him about it, though. Damien, the frigging goof off who never stopped talking, was telling him to play it safe. “Finally taking this thing seriously, huh?”
“Shit yeah. When we play in bars and clubs, we’re having fun. America Rocks is a game changer.” Damien leaned closer, his rigid mohawk threatened to take out an eye. He looked off into the distance and pointed. “My dream is right there and nothin’ is gonna get in my way. Nothin’ is gonna stop me from reaching out grabbing it.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
America Rocks was held in Williamsburg Park, the premier outdoor concert venue in Brooklyn. It was only a few blocks from the waterfront and an oasis in the middle of the bustling suburb. It was a hot day and the sun was strong, but the shady trees provided refuge. It was the enormous crowd of people that made the temperature seem higher than it really was, plus Jessi had been walking the length of the park for over an hour. Rumor had it that there were a lot of big name record labels here today, probably sipping a nice cool glass of lemonade in a VIP tent somewhere.
At a big festival like this, people usually only stuck around for the bands they came to see. The crowd often thinned out for lesser named bands, and for a new-comer like Immortal Angel, there was a possibility that the band could be playing to a very sparse audience. Jessi wasn’t about to let that happen. She hired two people to hand out flyers and stickers at the front gate, and she was canvassing as much area as she could with Alyssa. Plus, the two of them wore flashy outfits to attract attention.
Jessi constructed their outfits. The black leather miniskirt was adorned with a row of metal spikes down both sides. Hot pink leopard lettering announced Immortal Angel across the back of the skirt. The black leather bustier that topped off the ensemble was embellished with riveted studs that spelled out “Immortal Angel”. Yes, it made everyone’s eyes gravitate to their boobs and their ass, but that was the point. People were going to remember the name of the band.
Damien wasn’t happy. He didn’t want Alyssa prancing around in the skimpy clothing that Jessi made.
“Sex sells,” she explained.
“Yeah, but I don’t want my wife selling it,” was Damien’s response.
“We have to do something to get people to stop and take a flyer, something to make them stop and talk to us. We need to encourage people to be at the main stage at the start of the show for Immortal Angel. You want as many people there as possible when you play, don’t you?”
Damien reluctantly agreed, but after roasting in the blaring sun for the past two hours, Jessi was starting think that maybe black leather wasn’t the best choice of fabric. She was tired. Her feet hurt. She shouldn’t have worn five inch heels, especially on the uneven surface of the grassy park, but she loved her boots.
She sighed and flipped through the stack of flyers she still had left in her hand. “Maybe I made too many. Maybe we should just leave them on a table somewhere.”
“Since when does Jessi Blade get discouraged?” Alyssa pulled her over to a nearby park bench. “Let’s sit down and take a break for a few minutes.”
An ice cold iced tea was exactly what Jessi needed to revive. She pressed the cold glass bottle against her neck, and the wet condensation trickled down her cleavage. “That hit the spot. I can’t wait until we hand out the rest of these flyers. I want to go backstage.”
“I wonder if they guys are getting nervous.”
“Angel was a wreck this morning. You know what a perfectionist he is, but Tommy put him at ease. Tommy has a way with him. It’s something I’ve never seen before.”
Alyssa fingered her can of soda. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
When someone has to ask if they can ask you a question, it meant they were about to ask you something that was none of their business. Like when people said, “don’t take this the wrong way”, which was basically a nice way to insult you. Alyssa wasn’t the type to pry. She didn’t care what anyone did and never got caught up in the whole gossip-scene at the bars. It was one of the things she loved about Alyssa, so when Alyssa asked if she could ask a personal question, Jessi knew exactly what was on her mind. “Go ahead.”
“I just was wondering how this thing works with you and Tommy and Angel?”
Jessi didn’t have much experience explaining their relationship. The only people she told were her sisters, Maggie and Ella. They didn’t give her a hard time, at all. It was probably because they were enamored with Angel. They didn’t care that she wasn’t having sex with him. All they saw in their head was a threesome with Tommy and Angel.
“Forget it. You don’t have to answer. It’s none of my business.”
“No. You’re my friend, Alyssa. We can talk about personal things.” Jessi took a deep breath and laughed as she exhaled. “I don’t even know where to begin. I never thought I’d end up with two husbands, and that’s exactly what it’s like – except one of them’s gay. I love Tommy. More than most people realize. And I know Tommy loves me. I think it’s obvious to everyone how much Tommy loves me. But, he’s bisexual. I had to give him the freedom to explore that side of himself and trust that he would still want to be with me, because I knew he wasn’t completely happy. I don’t want to stand in the way of Tommy’s happiness. I love him enough to share him. I was confident enough in our relationship to bring a third person into our bed. And then he met Angel.”
She gazed off into the distance and remembered the turmoil that twisted her gut when she first saw their attraction with one another. And then their love for each other. It crippled her, but she stood steadfast in her loyalty and determination to make the relationship work. And it did.
“Angel completes our life. Tommy wasn’t entirely happy until he met Angel. I’m not jealous. Not anymore. I love Angel. I think the reason our relationship works is because me and Angel care about each other, and we’re not jealous. The three of us love each other. We’re a couple. We sleep in the same bed. We have sex together. Well, not me and Angel, but you get the picture.”
Alyssa was nodding. “Whatever it is, it obviously works. I don’t think I’ve ever seen three people as happy and well adjusted as you guys. You may have an unconventional relationship, but it’s a healthy one.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate that.” She paused. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Alyssa nodded.
“But you can’t tell anyone. Promise me.”
“You’re my best friend, Jessi. You can trust me.”
“OK.” Jessi leaned forward, rested her elbows on her knees and looked around to make sure no one was listening. “I slept with Angel once.”
Alyssa laughed. For a long time. “That was the last thing I ever expected to hear!”
“It was just once.”
“Does Tommy know?”
“Yeah. He was there. I would never do anything behind Tommy’s back.”
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