by S. Van Horne
“He put me in the hospital three times,” I clarified truthfully, clenching my fingers into fists against my knees.
“Jesus,” Lucca breathed, his fingers clenching into fists where his hands rested on his knees. “I’m sorry, Essex. I only knew about once. No woman should have to have endured what you have.”
“It’s okay,” I declared with a dismissive shrug. “That part of my life is over,” I reminded him as well as myself. Eager to get this meeting done with, I continued, “What else do you know?”
I watched his face tighten as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down once before he slowly licked his lips and went on. “I know that you have scars, both emotional and physical,” he murmured softly, his eyes softening as they settled back on my face. “I know you’re trying very hard to rebuild your life, even starting a new job soon at County Hospital soon. I know that you’re concerned about how you’ll interact with and respond to male patients. I know you often have panic attacks, and you’re worried that those episodes will negatively impact you on your new job. I know you’re only twenty-two, and you’re much too young to be going through this. I know that you feel very alone right now. I know you are a beautiful woman that has been trapped in a horrible nightmare for far too long. And I know that I want to help show you that not every man is evil….especially not me.”
Staring at the floor, I suddenly felt cold. This man knew a lot about me—much more than had been in that file he had. And scarily, almost all of what he’d said was chillingly accurate. “Proving that to me would be a tall order for any man, Mr. Falcon—I mean, Lucca. I don’t trust easily. I’m not even sure I can trust at all.”
“You can,” he stated decisively as he reached out to cover my hand with his, the warm feel of his palm covering mine instantly warming the cool skin. “It’s just going to take a little while for you to learn how. The good news is that I can be a patient man.”
“I know most of your clients want…well, you know. You’re an escort, after all. Intimacy is a natural part of the program, I guess,” I babbled nervously, pausing to sink my teeth into my lower lip when I realize what a child I must sound like. What healthy twenty-two-year-old woman wouldn’t want a good fuck? Why the hell can’t I even utter the word?
“You’re talking about sex?” he asked with a small smile. “I won’t lie, Essex. I’m a man and I do enjoy the activity. I also can’t say that I wouldn’t love to show you how much passion and pleasure can be found in the act with the right person. But, as you know, sex doesn’t have to be a selection on our menu for this weekend. That will be a decision left entirely and completely up to you. Just know that if you allow me to worship your gorgeous body, not a moment of that time will be painful,” he assured me in a deep serious tone that I just somehow knew was fully sincere. “As for my status as an escort,” he continued slowly, “You should know that I’ve actually quit The Meat Market. As you may or may not know, I’m a fairly successful real estate broker and independently wealthy aside from my day job. I work because I enjoy it. I was never escorting for the money. I was involved with the Meat Market to help out an old college friend when his grandpa died and he inherited a failing butcher shop. His family business was in a tough spot, and a side-business of escorting lonely ladies seemed like the perfect way to help his business get back in the black. He wouldn’t accept my money outright, but he agreed to take my help in another way. Don’t get me wrong—I enjoyed my time there, but I don’t really do that any longer.”
“Then how are you here in my apartment?” I asked, confused.
“You are…a special case. The butcher thought you and I might fit well together. After meeting you, I know he was right.”
My eyes widened at that information. “Oh, my goodness, Lucca! I don’t want to drag you back into something you no longer have any interest in doing!” Running a frustrated hand through my hair, I froze as Lucca reached out to capture my arm in a gentle grip when I would have bolted off the sofa where we sat.
“Essex, nobody drags me anywhere that I don’t wish to go. I am not a guy that is easily moved. Trust me, here with you is exactly where I want to be. I merely wanted to explain that I’m no longer taking any other engagements and haven’t been for quite some time. There are no other women in my life, past or present, that will be a worry to you. In other words, I am no cheat. I haven’t taken any clients for quite a while. I never intended to take any again. I tell you this because I want you to feel safe with me. When Jason…I mean, the butcher…told me about you, however, I knew that I had to meet you. I want to help you any way I can.”
Blinking as I let his words sink in, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace settle over me—almost as if I’d finally found someone who completely understood me. “You’re serious,” I whispered, more to myself than to him.
“I am,” he confirmed, his hand lifting to run a sole finger down my cheek in a way that seemed both oddly sweet and wrenchingly tender. “Starting tomorrow evening, I’m going to begin helping you get over your fears and show you how a real man treats a woman that he truly cares about.”
“How?” I asked suspiciously. The last thing I wanted was to get sucked into another bad situation by a guy that seemed to be a catch but turned out to be a monster. Been there, done that, not ever going back again.
“By showing you how a man should treat a woman…how she should always be treated. I’m going to pamper and spoil you. I’m going to indulge every whim you have. We’re going to talk and laugh and get to know each other. I may not be able to undo the damage that has been done to you, Essex, but I promise you, I’m going to show you that there are still good men left in the world.”
“O-okay,” I agreed nervously, desperately hoping that this guy was on the up-and-up. “I’ll just get my checkbook and—”
“You’re not paying me,” he cut me off firmly, his tone implacable as his jaw hardened and his nostrils flared.
It sounded as if he was insulted that I’d offer to pay for his services…but I’d hired him, hadn’t I? “But…you’re an escort…at least for this weekend. I have to pay for your time, Lucca,” I argued as my brows drew together.
Rising from the couch, he looked down at me and smiled, lifting a hand to brush the backs of his fingers against my cheek again with such tender affection that it brought tears to my eyes even as my body braced for pain.
“You can pay me in smiles and laughs, bella. Nothing more,” he informed me stubbornly, his voice unwavering and uncompromising. “And one day, when I lift my hand to caress your face, you’ll know in both your heart and your mind that I will never touch you with anything other than tenderness.”
“It’s a habit,” I whispered self-consciously, humiliated that I was such a nutjob that I couldn’t just act like a typical woman for two seconds. “My body is conditioned to experience pain. I guess I just expect it.”
“Then that is one habit I look forward to helping you break,” Lucca returned softly, his caring eyes resolved as they met mine. “I’ll see you tomorrow evening for dinner, cara. I’ll cook.”
“You’ll cook?” I echoed incredulously, the idea that this powerful man would prepare me a meal nearly preposterous. I’d been with Foster for years and he’d never so much as gotten me a cup of coffee in the morning.
“Yes. I’m going to cook for you. Your job for the entire weekend is to let me pamper you, Essex.”
“I don’t know if I can do that,” I replied truthfully with a timid smile.
“Then it is a very good thing that I love a challenge. Until then, bella, be well,” he returned before bending to brush a warm kiss to my cheek.
I caught my breath as his warm, dry lips seemed to linger at the corner of my mouth, almost as if he was waiting for some kind of signal from me that I wanted him to continue. And strangely, I did. It was as if my almost two years of celibacy caught up with me in just a few heartbeats, and my whole body felt as if poised on the edge of something…spectacular. All I had to do
was twist my head a scant inch and his lips would be grazing mine.
As if he could sense my need, I felt his body crowd mine, the soft cotton of his t-shirt rasping against my sensitive skin. And I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know what the dusty rose color of his lips tasted like.
Diving toward his kissable mouth before I could talk myself out of it, I whimpered as his lips met mine. Moaning as our mouths molded, I reached up to grip his wide shoulders, holding on tight as my world spun out of control.
For the rest of my life, I’d never forget the flavor of his tongue tangling with mine.
Fresh rain and spearmint and it was divine.
It trumped every kiss I’d ever been given, including my first one and the one I’d received on my wedding day.
It was—without doubt—the single best kiss of my life, and I wanted it to last forever. Unfortunately, I must not have been on the clock with Lucca yet because he pulled away all too soon. He must have seen the disappointment in my eyes because he quickly whispered against my lips, “If I don’t leave now, I won’t leave at all, angel, and you are not ready for more of me just yet. Think of me until tomorrow, amore.”
And with that, he was gone.
He must have moved like the wind. One moment I felt the heat of his body pressed against mine and the next, he’d vanished. And staring at my closed front door, I couldn’t help wondering if I was insane…or he was.
CHAPTER FOUR
ESSEX
Sunday Morning
“I’M TELLING YOU, LENNON, I freaking tingle every single time he kisses me! I’ve never tingled before in my life! Not once. Not one stinking time have I ever felt like this,” I hissed into my phone as I sat in the middle of Lucca’s king-sized bed, staring at the closed bedroom door across the room.
“Sounds like heaven, babe,” Lennon replied with a giggle.
She was exactly right. That’s precisely where I was right now. For two extremely glorious days, I’d been spending my time in heaven. A heaven of Lucca Falconi’s making.
For the past forty-eight straight hours, I’d been worshiped and adored by arguably the most handsome, thoughtful man in Chicago. Lucca had swept into my life with the force of a hurricane and obliterated my defenses with his kindness and attention. He had taken his time, never rushing me for more than I was willing to offer him and bit by bit, inch by inch set about winning me over. From the moment he’d showed up at my tiny apartment on Friday night, his arms laden with enough grocery bags to feed half the city, he’d overwhelmed me with his genuine thoughtfulness. With watchful eyes and careful hands, he’d guided me through the night as he prepared and served me an authentic Italian meal complete with handmade pasta, his late nonna’s secret family recipe! That night we ate, we talked, and we generally got to know inane details about each other.
For instance, I now knew that Lucca was thirty-eight, got into real estate because he loved selling houses but knew he didn’t have the skill to be an architect because he couldn’t draw a straight line with a ruler—his words, not mine. He also said he loved dogs but didn’t have one since he had a crazy schedule that included showing properties at night if a client’s schedule demanded it. Since he just never knew if he’d be home in time to walk a dog before he or she had an accident and he didn’t think it was fair to keep a dog in a kennel all day, he’d decided against a pet. Plus, he said he loved his hardwood floors too much to risk ruining them with doggy accidents.
And surprisingly, I’d been able to be forthcoming about a few details about myself. Lucca now knew that I was a Libra who was born on October 1st, loved hot dogs because they were easy to prepare and simple to eat, and had a dream of one day becoming a nurse practitioner. My LPN degree had cost me more than I could admit, but somehow, I was able to share with him how my studies had been my salvation when my marriage was hell on earth. We also both admitted that we loved being around kids because of their innocence and enthusiasm for life. We found we had a common affinity for traveling, though I hadn’t been nearly as many places as him. And most importantly, we both agreed that the Chicago Cubs ruled the city.
If it hadn’t been for the fact that I’d frozen in place when his hand had drifted over my ass during our goodnight kiss that first night, it would have been the perfect first date. Although date wasn’t exactly the right word, was it? Especially since I’d hired him for the weekend.
Of course, he hadn’t allowed me to pay him or spend a single cent the entire time we’d been together, even Saturday when I’d tried to buy an ice cream cone with my own money after we’d gone for a walk along the Navy Pier. No, every time I’d reached for my wallet over the past day and a half, he’d either waved my hand away or tenderly stayed me with a gentle hand on my wrist. So, I was more than a little unclear about what this was between us this weekend.
Either way, I was happy for the first time in ages. He’d declared my place entirely too small for two people to cohabitate for the weekend and whisked me off to his place Saturday after spending the night sleeping on my far too-short couch Friday night. And now I sat in the middle of his giant bed, knowing that I wanted to take the next step with Lucca…the next very intimate, very personal step with him.
In other words, I wanted him to make love to me. Desperately. I just didn’t know how to go about making it happen. And since it was already Sunday morning and he’d been nothing but a perfect gentleman during the entire time we’d been together, I didn’t know how to make it happen. Hence, my phone call to my bestie.
“So, I’m sensing that you didn’t just call me to chat, Essie. Where is that Italian hunk, anyway? I’m guessing since you’re whispering that he’s close, yeah?” I heard Lennon ask, almost able to hear the grin in her voice.
“I’m not sure he’s awake yet,” I answered with a weak giggle.
“He’s not in bed with you?” she grumbled. “What kind of escort is he? I knew I should have gotten a satisfaction guaranteed clause in your contract.”
“Would you stop?” I chuckled, flopping against a pillow. “He’s been a perfect gentleman the entire weekend.”
“No panic attacks?” she asked me happily.
Chewing my lower lip, I debated how to answer that. Because, honestly, I’d had a couple of close calls. The first had happened when he’d reached out unexpectedly and wrapped an arm around me as he’d helped me out of the car for lunch yesterday, and another had hit when he’d bent his head to drop a kiss against my forehead. He’d moved so suddenly that I’d cowered. Each time, Lucca had been sweet and patient, calmly soothing me with quietly spoken words and soft, careful touches. But for the most part, I’d enjoyed his company, and for the first time I’d had hope that maybe I could act normally around men again. “It was touch and go a couple of times, but truthfully, it’s been a positive experience. It’s just…”
“Just what, hon?” Lennon prodded.
“I want…” I dropped off, embarrassed to vocalize what I really wanted. Hell, if I couldn’t say it to my best gal pal in the world, did I really have any business trying to do it with Lucca? The answer was that I didn’t know, but I wanted to try.
“Essie? Girl, say it,” Lennon encouraged.
“I want him, Len. I want him in that way.”
“So, my bestie wants to ride the Italian Sausage! I feel so proud. You’ll be a meat virgin no more!” she squealed to me, the glee dripping from every word.
“Would you quit it?” I hissed, my cheeks burning as I rolled my eyes, running a hand through my unbound hair. “You are supposed to be helping me here!”
“Okay, okay,” she quickly acquiesced. “Sorry. I just needed a moment. Besides, this is not a problem. This guy is a professional, sweets. Just tell him that it’s time to get to the main course of your engagement. It’s what you’re paying for.”
“Except I’m not, Lennon,” I informed her, my voice a smidge hysterical. “It doesn’t feel like a business deal, and he refuses to take any money from me. In fact, he’s not let me pay
for anything. I’m pretty sure this isn’t business as usual for him.”
“What?” Lennon balked, her shock echoing through the phone line.
“You heard me. Seriously, Lennon…the past few days, it’s felt like we were on dates with each other. Really intense, romantic dates. I told you about Friday night. The homemade dinner. The romantic movie on the couch. The petting. The kissing. Then, last night, he took me to his apartment and got me settled in his bedroom. He took the guest bedroom last night. During the day, we went to a little league game for a team he sponsors. After that, he took me for a nice lunch and a walk on Navy Pier. Saturday night, he took me out to this elegant French restaurant followed by a leisurely stroll downtown. It was flippin’ magical.”
“What about when you got back to his place? He didn’t try to….”
“He kissed me goodnight at his bedroom door. It was one of those kisses that melt you into a puddle of goo, Lennie! And I thought he’d come into the bedroom with me, but he just dropped this whisper-soft kiss on my forehead and closed the door—with him on the other freaking side!”
“Oh, my God! He’s like a Gentleman Gigolo!” Lennon gasped. “This is unbelievable.”
“Yeah, well, I think I’m ready for a tad less gentleman if you know what I mean. If we were dating, this would be the third date, right? On the third date, aren’t you supposed to…you know!!”
“You think I’m an expert?” Lennon yelped to me. “I might not have been abused, Essie, but it’s not like I have a ton of experience to rely on here. But you’re right, if you go by Cosmo rules, tonight should be the night. But only if YOU want it to happen.”
“I think I do,” I whispered back. “I want to melt into him every time he touches me. When he kisses me, I feel it in my soul. And when he looks at me, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“Sounds to me like you want to sample this guy’s talents. I say you get up, march out there and find him, and get you a big ole taste of that Italian meat. Just don’t bite off more than you can chew,” she laughingly advised me. “Choking on this guy’s sausage wouldn’t be the image you wanna project, sister.”