“Dani—”
“Get out!”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“THE MUSHROOMS SMELL FUNNY,” Penny said as she held a clean cloth to her left ring finger.
“They’re mushrooms,” Naomi told her. “They’re supposed to smell funny. Do you need stitches?”
Penny rolled her eyes. “Is my finger still attached to my hand?”
“Yes. Fine. Be that way.”
Cal walked into the kitchen. He was moving a little slow, but otherwise was doing fine since his procedure. “How much is she bleeding?” he asked Naomi.
“I’m fine,” Penny said.
“It was a gusher,” Naomi said. “But I don’t think she went down to the bone.”
“Good to know,” Cal said. “I could forcibly take her to the urgent care center.”
“No, you couldn’t.” Penny moved between them. “I’m right here in the room. Stop ignoring me. I’m fine. Cuts and burns come with the territory. I’m fine. It’s barely even bleeding.”
Not that she was willing to let up on the pressure just yet, but in a few minutes, she would. Naomi would put on a butterfly bandage and all would be well. If she rushed around screaming for medical care every time someone got cut in the kitchen, no one would ever get fed.
“Hey, it’s here,” Dani yelled as she walked into the kitchen. “The write-up on new restaurants, and yes, you’re mentioned.”
She set the newspaper on the stainless-steel counter and flipped through the pages. The two cooks already chopping vegetables there moved in close, as did Edouard. Penny wiggled in front of both Naomi and Cal. If she stayed behind them, she wouldn’t see a thing.
Suddenly the sting from her cut faded as an entire squad of butterflies took up residence in her stomach.
“They had to say something good, right?” she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. “Why say something bad?”
“Because it’s the newspaper,” Naomi grumbled. “What do they know about good food?”
“They are the sort of people who eat fast food,” Edouard muttered.
Penny bit her lower lip as Dani continued to flip pages. She stopped on a huge spread featuring new restaurants in the Seattle area.
A friend of a friend had warned her about the write-up and had mentioned there was a bit on The Waterfront. Now Penny scanned the page until she saw a small box.
“There!” she said, as she pointed.
They all leaned forward to read it.
“I’ll do it,” Dani said, snatching up the paper. “Okay. While we here at the paper were only interested in new restaurants for this feature, The Waterfront has risen like a phoenix from the ashes. A few short months ago one was guaranteed old fish and a tired, uninspiring menu; these days The Waterfront is the place for fabulous dining. It’s not just that chef Penny Jackson has redefined delicious with her innovative menus and clever pairings, it’s that the dining room, with its wonderful views and good service, provides the perfect backdrop for an exciting and addictive culinary experience.”
Penny screamed and jumped up and down. Naomi joined her and they hugged each other while they jumped. Cal put his arms around both of them and suddenly there was a group hug in the kitchen.
“Congratulations,” he said to Penny. “I knew we could do it.”
“Me, too. Although you’re just in charge of the backdrop. I have an addictive menu!” She held up her uninjured hand and hit it against Cal’s. “I knew we were good, but I didn’t think anyone else was smart enough to figure it out.”
“It seems they are.”
“Yay, us.”
“I’ve always liked newspaper people,” Edouard said.
“We should celebrate,” Naomi said. “I vote for liquor.”
“Sure. Cheap champagne all around.” He handed her the keys to the liquor closet.
Penny laughed and moved to the walk-in refrigerator where she removed a small piece of tuna.
“Hungry?” Cal asked when she returned to the counter and began cutting it up.
“It’s for Al. Our cat,” she added, when he looked blank. “He’s been doing a great job with rodent control. I’m inviting him to the party.”
She put the tuna in a dish and walked to the back hallway. After calling for a couple of minutes, she watched the large cat appear. She patted it, then put down the plate of tuna. Al inhaled it in less than thirty seconds.
“I didn’t know he was a fish lover,” Cal said from the doorway.
“He’s a cat with great taste. That was premium tuna.”
Al took himself off to clean up after his meal and Penny picked up the plate. She smiled at Cal. “We did good.”
“I agree. I thought it would take longer, but I’m not complaining.”
“Me, either.”
There was something about the way he looked at her. Something that made her insides get all quivery and her mouth go dry.
“About that rain check,” he said with a smile.
“Yes?”
“Penny?” Dani called. “You have a call. It’s your mom.”
“Be right there.” She looked at Cal. “Sorry.”
“Don’t sweat it. I know where you live.”
A promise she would hold him to, she thought as she walked toward the phone and checked her cut. The bleeding had stopped. As she picked up the phone, she held out her finger to Naomi.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, dear. Your father and I saw the article about you in the paper. It’s wonderful. Congratulations.”
Naomi appeared with the first aid kit and went to work on trimming several dressings down to the right shape and size.
“Thanks,” Penny said, holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she ran her finger under water and tried not to wince.
“We’ve decided we can’t wait another minute to see the place. We’re driving over.”
“That’s great. When?”
“In a couple of weeks. I know Saturday is your busiest day, so we’ll arrive Sunday and stay until Tuesday.”
Naomi fitted the bandage in place and secured it with tape.
“That’s great,” Penny said. “I’m looking forward to seeing you and Dad.”
“Oh, not just us. Your sisters are coming, too. And the kids. Sean and Jack can’t take off, which is too bad.”
“The whole clan,” she said weakly. “My house is kind of small. Oh, and I have a temporary roommate.”
“Not to worry,” her mother said. “We have hotel rooms. I’ll e-mail you the details. We’re really looking forward to this, Penny.”
“Me, too.”
They chatted a few more minutes, then hung up. Naomi sipped from her champagne glass and grinned. “Hell of a time to be pregnant, huh?”
Penny eyed the liquor enviously. “Tell me about it. My parents are coming, along with my sisters and their kids. They’re going to want to see the restaurant.”
“Yes, they are.”
“They’re going to poke through my house and want to talk about the future.”
“Parents are like that.”
“They’ll worry about me having a baby on my own.”
“Sure.”
Edouard swore in French. “The back burners are out. All four of them. I cannot work in conditions like this.”
Penny groaned. She couldn’t afford to lose half her burners. Not when they were expecting a full house.
“I’ll call,” she said as she hurried toward her office. Welcome to her world, she thought. Where it was always insane.
“Then we need to talk about the mushrooms,” Naomi told her. “They smell funny.”
“THANKS FOR COMING,” Cal said. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I wanted to,” Penny told him as they walked through the hospital.
He doubted that visiting his daughter would make the top-five list of ways she wanted to spend her day, but he appreciated her willingness to accompany him.
Penny had really been there for him, he t
hought. Helping him after he’d donated the bone marrow, feeding him, being a friend. Repaying that kindness by jumping her bones had seemed too slimy, so he’d resisted the urge to suggest they cash in on their rain check. Even though he’d wanted to.
He glanced at her as they waited for the elevator. She was showing more and more. He supposed that some guys would have found her growing size unappealing, but he thought she was sexy as hell, all lush curves and glowing health. He liked the way she moved, the way she smelled, the promise that seemed to be in every smile.
Complications, he thought. Getting involved with Penny would be nothing but complications. Another reason to resist his need for her. But he sure was tempted.
They rode up to their floor, then stepped into the corridor.
“We have to check in,” he said. “Tracy, Lindsey’s mom, said they’ll explain about the mask and gown we have to wear. Her immune system is still recovering. Apparently she’s doing much better than anyone expected and she’ll be out of the hospital in a few weeks, but until then, we all have to be careful.”
Penny touched his arm. “You’re nervous. That’s normal, but I’m still only going as far as the door. This is a private moment.”
“I don’t know how to talk to her. I’ve known about her all her life, but she’s never given me any thought. What do I say?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “Speak from your heart. Your goal here is to connect. Just establish some easy conversation, then sort of slide into the fact that you’re her father.”
Cal tried to imagine himself saying the words, but it was impossible. He’d kept the secret for too long.
“Tracy will be there, right?” Penny asked.
He nodded. “She and I agreed it’s important for Lindsey to have her mother around.”
Penny smiled. “You always say ‘her mother’ or ‘her father.’ Never ‘her adoptive mother.’”
“Tracy is her mother. Alison’s role in Lindsey’s life was to provide an egg and rental space for nine months. Nothing else.”
And his role had been even less. He’d given his daughter some DNA and then he’d cut her loose.
Penny moved close and stared into his eyes. “Don’t go there. You did more than just offer up sperm. Despite wanting to keep her, you made a conscious choice to make her life better. You did everything in your power to make sure she would be happy.”
“I didn’t want to let her go.”
“Knowing what you know now, do you think you made the wrong decision?”
Good question. Could he have raised Lindsey better? Could he have made her more happy? He’d still been a kid himself. What about Gloria and her need to meddle in every aspect of everyone’s life? What about Lindsey getting sick?
“This was the right choice,” he said slowly. “I know that.”
“Then maybe it’s time to give yourself a break, Cal. Maybe you should let go of the guilt and be happy your daughter is alive and getting better. How long are you going to punish yourself for giving her the best of everything in the world?”
He stared at Penny. Was it really that simple? Had he been punishing himself for doing what was obviously the best for his daughter?
“You have your moments,” he said.
“I know.” She smiled. “I can be brilliant on demand. It’s a gift.”
“Okay. Be brilliant now and tell me what to say to Lindsey.”
“How about telling her that you’re her father and that you love her very much?”
Before he could answer, Tracy came out of a room at the far end of the hall. She wore a long hospital gown.
“Hi,” she said as she approached. “Right on time. Are you ready to get all covered up? Lindsey’s doing great. Even better than we’d all hoped. It looks like she’ll be able to come home fairly soon. Not that she can go back to school. No crowds for her for a while, but still. We’re happy and so very grateful.”
She was nervous. Cal could see it in her eyes and hear it in her fast-paced words.
“Tracy,” he began.
She shook her head. “It’s fine. Really. This is for the best. Lindsey wants to meet the man who saved her life and you want to meet your daughter. I didn’t tell her. I…” She swallowed. “I didn’t know how,” she admitted. “Which is probably a good thing. You’ve been waiting to tell her for a long time. You’ve more than earned this, Cal. Really. Tom and I are so grateful.”
“Thank you,” he said.
He felt Penny take his hand. He laced his fingers with hers and squeezed. At least he’d been smart enough to bring her along. He had a feeling he was going to need a friend through all this.
Speaking of which…“Tracy, this is Penny Jackson.”
Penny leaned forward and shook hands. “It’s lovely to meet you. I’m so pleased your daughter is doing well. You’ve been through such a difficult time and deserve to hear good news.”
“Thank you.” Tracy stared at Penny’s stomach. “Your first?”
Penny hesitated only a second, then nodded. “I’m due in September and getting bigger by the second.”
Tracy’s smile faded. “We wanted children, but I wasn’t able to carry a baby past the twelfth week. There’s a complex medical term for it. So we decided to adopt. Cal gave us Lindsey and she’s been a blessing to us every day.”
“I’m glad,” he told her.
Penny’s hold on his hand tightened.
“All right, let’s go,” Tracy said. “Lindsey’s doing great. At first she was really sick, but that faded quickly. Now she’s just waiting until she’s able to go home. Oh, you know she lost her hair in chemo, right?”
Cal hadn’t. It made sense, but he hated the thought of her beautiful blond hair falling out.
“She’s hoping she’ll get some curl when it grows back in,” Tracy continued. “Did her biological mother have curly hair?”
“What? No. Alison’s hair was straight.” And pale blond. Lindsey’s had been golden-blond and long. How much time would it take her to grow it back?
“Welcome to the germ-free zone,” Tracy said as they walked through the doorway. “Nothing can go into Lindsey’s room without being disinfected.”
“I didn’t bring her anything,” Cal said. He’d wanted to but his reading had warned him that she wouldn’t be able to accept anything like flowers or plants. He hadn’t known what else to bring.
“Good.” She showed him where the gowns and masks were, along with booties and caps for his hair. Penny settled into a chair with a magazine.
“Good luck,” she told him.
Five minutes later he was in Lindsey’s room. Tracy introduced him. Lindsey smiled and kept her gaze firmly fixed on him.
He looked back. His daughter was tall and slender, with large blue eyes and a smile that could light up Seattle. She wore a scarf on her head that reminded him of Penny’s head coverings in the kitchen.
He could see bits of Alison in her—the shape of her eyes, the way she tilted her head.
“I don’t know what to say,” Lindsey told him with a shy smile. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I was glad to help.”
“Did it hurt when they took your bone marrow?”
“I was asleep. I had a couple of bruises afterwards, but they’re no big deal. You’re the one going through the worst of it.”
Lindsey wrinkled her nose. “I was really sick for a while. Chemo is totally gross. But it’s over and now I’m feeling better.”
She sat up in her bed, on top of the covers. Brightly colored sweats covered her legs and she had on a blue long-sleeved fuzzy shirt that buttoned in front. There were IV lines coming from her chest and her arm.
“We should all sit,” Tracy said as she busied herself pulling up a couple of chairs.
Cal took the one closest to his daughter. She was so beautiful, he thought. He’d seen her before, of course, but always from a distance. Now he was close enough to see the color in her cheeks and the little mole she had on the side of h
er neck.
“I understand you’re a senior in high school,” he said.
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I’m probably going to miss graduation. Even though I’ll be better by then, it’s a big crowd and I have to avoid them for the next six months. I’m going to UW. Um, the University of Washington.”
He grinned. “I know. I went there.”
“Really? What did you study?”
“Business.”
“Oh.” She wrinkled her nose again. “I’m going pre-law. I want to learn about a lot of different things. Then I’m going to law school to study environmental law. You know, save the planet.”
She was young enough to believe that was possible, he thought in wonder. And he was entranced enough to think she could.
“I won’t be starting until January, though. The whole crowd thing. But my mom talked to the admissions people and there are some classes I can take online, which is totally great. So I’ll have the same number of units as everyone else when I finally get there.”
“You’ll have to let me know how it all goes,” he said.
“Really? You’d be interested?”
Tracy smiled at her daughter. “Honey, he just saved your life. I think he has a little something invested in your future.”
“Right. I never thought of it that way. Okay. Sure. I can let you know. Do you do e-mail?”
He nodded.
“Me, too. I love it. And instant messaging. I would just die without that and my cell phone to keep in touch with all my friends.” She flashed a smile at Tracy. “Mom’s been great about letting me do that. Of course we got unlimited local calling and my friends all have it, too.” Her voice trailed off. “You probably don’t care about that.”
Actually, he did. He wanted to hear about every aspect of her life. He couldn’t believe he was here, so close to her. He wanted to hug her and tell her who he was. He wanted to show her New York and Europe and watch her grow into a beautiful woman. Mostly, he wanted to turn back the clock and watch her from the time she’d been born.
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