In no time, I’m standing behind a large wooden desk in the center of the room. I gaze around in amazement; I’ve found my happy place at last. Well, relatively happy, that is. There has to be hundreds of books in this library, and the walls are lined with row after row of tomes. Following the border of the room, a second floor of books lines the upper parts of the walls. The only access to those books are the sliding ladders located along the room.
All the wood here is beautifully carved into flowing curves and gentle flowers. It’s bright with the sunlight coming through the giant windows, making it look like a dream, a happy and magical one. Who knew that it would be the sight of all these books that brings a faint smile to my lips.
To think, that if this journey hadn’t happened, I would have never seen this beautiful place.
That thought stops me cold and wipes all traces of happiness from my face. How dare I? What a disgusting thing to say. I’m a monster for even letting that thought cross my mind. This journey would have never happened had I not been so ignorant and stupid. My mistakes led me here. My mistakes broke me and my mistakes killed them.
My thoughts turn sour and my mood darkens. I turn to locate Benjamin. Once I find him seated at the table near the back, I make my way towards him and pull up a chair without looking at him. I roughly drop into the seat. That’s when I notice a stack of thick books lying of the table along with a map.
Before I get a chance to decipher it, he begins. “To help your training with Erik, I’ll start the lesson off with information on talnarin energy manipulation.” He stares directly at me, and I shift uncomfortably in my chair. “Our primary power is energy manipulation, but we do also have a special affinity with land creatures as well. All talnarins are able to access these abilities. We reside in the forest region because the energy we manipulate and utilize is generated from the natural world, meaning the plants and animals.”
He pauses for a moment and pulls a book from the stack. After a few seconds of flipping, he settles on an illustrated page. In the center, there’s a diagram of a talnarin with white eyes and pointed ears. The abdomen is hollowed out to show that the cloud of particles exists inside the person, not outside. A five-cornered shape surrounds the talnarin, and each corner holds a foreign symbol.
“The energy we can manipulate is stored and built up inside here.” He points to the cloud in the abdomen. “With this energy, we are able to manipulate or utilize one of the five different wieldable affinities.
“Those with purple eyes, like Elaine, have the ability to harness the energy and manipulate the mind.” Benjamin shifts his weight before continuing. “We call this the Mindula Affinity. Some are able to influence the actions of individuals, wipe memories, create illusions, sense emotions, and the list goes on. The symbol for this type is here.” He points this time to the illustration of an open eye with a hollow iris in the center, to the left of the page.
“Those with orange or red eyes, like my brother and I,” He gestures to his own eyes. “are able to harness the energy and manipulate flames.” Benjamin calls a small blood red flame to his palm before snuffing it out. “This affinity is called Firvo. These flames are much stronger and hotter than an ordinary fire due to it being pure concentrated energy. There are far more possibilities that can be achieved with energy fames than regular ones. The sky is the limit with the fire but it’s important to remember, it can still go out of control. This is the case for any of the other energy manipulation affinities as well. This is this one Firvo symbol here.” He points to the book. This illustration is to the left as well, just below the Mindula affinity. It looks like a simple illustration of hollow flames.
“Those with yellow eyes are able to harness the energy and manipulate electricity. This affinity is known as Elestal. Again, unlike its more natural counterpart, this electricity is much stronger and packs a bigger punch.” Benjamin pauses to run his hand through his hair, much like his brother did. “With this ability, those who wield it are able to draw energy from a storm if it’s in the vicinity. In rare cases, those with this affinity are able to call forth a storm as well.” This time, he points to the Elestal symbol is on the right side that is represented by a single hollow bolt of lightning.
“Lastly, those with green eyes are able to harness the energy within plants and manipulate them. The name of this affinity is Flokil. Those able to manipulate the flora are able to manipulate nature however they wish.” A small smile graces his lips. “They can accelerate plant growth, decelerate it, weaponize it, and so on. Though most people with this affinity are gentle souls who choose the nurturing path.” The second to last symbol sits to the right beneath the Elestal illustration. It looks like vines twisted together in a ring with small blossoms growing out from the sides.
The last symbol, a combination of them all, sits at the very top and I wait for his explanation. When one doesn’t come, I glance up. I find him simply staring at the symbol with an unreadable expression of his face before moving to close the book.
I place my hand on top of the page before it closes and ask, “What is this one mean and what is it called?” When he simply continues to stare at it, I become frustrated. “And why do you look at it like that? Is the color for that one silver?”
What I don’t say is like my eyes. I also don’t mention my blood red hair. Both changed after the… incident at that place. From what he said, these talnarins only have unusual eye color, not both. So, why do I? I’m dying to know, but I don’t trust them enough to ask. I’ll keep my mouth shut and see if I can do some digging around for the answers myself when I have some time alone.
I look back up at Benjamin. He gives me a long look, and a loud sigh escapes him. Suddenly, Benjamin looks so sad and in pain that it’s startling. With my distraction, he manages to wrestle the book from my hands. seethe sets it to the side before pulling another from the pile. He opens his mouth to speak, and just as I think he’s going to explain his weird behavior, he says, “Do you need to take a break or are you good to go on? I’ll cover the foundations necessary for energy manipulation and the basic principles of the practice next.”
I simply nod and lean back. Might as well learn all I can as soon as I can. I’m in the dark about everything here and I hate it. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable. I only wish I had the freedom to ask about my situation. It would be so much easier to come out with it and tell them I’m a freak hybrid. Then, maybe I’d actually learn how to control my fire.
There’s no way to ask my questions without drawing attention to myself. More attention than I already have I mean. Digging for information is bound to draw the wrong attention from the wrong talnarins. I need to avoid that at all costs. And to do that, I need to keep my head down and appear as ‘normal’ as can be, as ‘normal’ as a talnarin.
I ease out of my thoughts and tune back in to library. This book doesn’t have any diagrams to look at, so I focus all of my attention of Benjamin. “All of the talnarins are born with a certain level of energy inside them. This level is the total amount of energy you are able to store inside your core at one time. Regardless of your training, the level is unable to expand and grow.” Benjamin gives a quick shrug. “That’s not to say the level remains the same from birth to death. As you age, your capacity for energy storage expands as well. This expansion comes from a variety of factors, but the primary one is that as you grow, the core grows with you.”
His face cracks into a childish smile. “This is why it’s easier to train when you are younger. That’s not to say, however, that training for adults is impossible or that training as a child is easy. The training is challenging for anyone at any age. To aid the talnarin in reading their core levels and gaining control of their affinities, training begins at a very young age.” Benjamin looks thoughtful for a moment. “Usually around the age of seven, children are able to draw forth their energy from their cores. Though those with stronger manipulation abilities have been known to sense the energy from an even y
ounger age, it depends on the child. At this age, their energy levels are relatively low, except with those who are stronger manipulators. This level helps prevent a mass explosion of energy from being release. It limits the probability of harm a child could to themselves or those around them. What age where you when you were first able to release the energy?”
I pause briefly to give myself time to generate a response. A part of me hates lying, but I don’t know what else to do. I settle for a simple, “I don’t remember.” I shift uncomfortably in my chair.
“Can you give me a time frame at least?”
I press my lips together tightly. “No. I think I’m done for the day. I’m tired.”
Benjamin gives me an unreadable look before simply saying, “Okay.”
I stand up and make my way from the room. The day has been both mentally and physically draining, but it means I’m one step closer to my goal. I just need to deflect all unwanted questions. My answers need to be as vague as possible without seeming suspicious. Unfortunately, I hadn’t properly prepared myself for likely questions. It was an oversight that won’t happen again.
At least I learned something useful today.
On the other hand, training isn’t going as quickly as I had imagined. I can’t be discouraged with the lack of control, I just need to keep at it. I can’t fail, I have to do it. I will do it. I need to get over the fear of harnessing the fire somehow. Erik and Abel are there to help me if I need it. I need to just let it go. I’ll try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, until I get it.
As I enter my room, I take a cursory glance around to ensure nothing’s out of place or no one’s entered when I was out. Nothing seemingly amiss, I turn to lock the door. I stink, badly. There’s a bath waiting for me, I just need to figure out how it works. The biggest question, though, is am I willing to let down my guard for a few minutes to take one. I grimace as the smell hits my nose.
They haven’t done anything yet. It’s been three days. They would have made their move by now if they were going to strike. It won’t be a long bath. I can even set my bow by the tub. In and out. It’ll be quick.
I would put my old clothes on again after the bath, but that would defeat the purpose of taking one in the first place. When Elaine first showed me to the room, there was a change of clothes on the bed all folded and clean. I had avoided touching it for fear that it was laced with poison or needles. But, if they were going to hurt me in the first place, it wouldn’t be through clothes. I shake off the stupid thoughts and grab them before heading to the bathroom.
Before attempting to figure out how the tub works, I survey the clothes I brought into the bathroom with me. The set consists of a simple brown tight fitted shirt and brown pants with various pockets. It must be a uniform of some sort that they wear. The others here wear variations of these clothes, but theirs are more personalized. Regardless, after briefly checking the clothes, I assured myself that they were safe to wear. I set them on the counter top and start maneuvering the levers on the tub.
Chapter 18
I sit in the library, pouring over the book from yesterday while I wait for Benjamin to arrive. I woke up early for a morning run before I made my way to the arena. Once there, I didn’t find Erik waiting for me like we agreed upon. Instead, a woman training in the arena had passed on a message stating that I’m to work with Benjamin first thing this morning instead. Apparently, Erik had urgent business outside Craforian today but is expected back in the afternoon.
On the way to the library, I opted to skip breakfast again to avoid running into more talnarins. The woman from the arena was more than enough. And somehow, every time I head to the kitchen, Elaine is there waiting. It’s not that I don’t like her…I can’t stand to be around these talnarins yet. I’m sure I’ll adjust, but for now, I’m steering clear.
I’ll eventually need to scavenge up some lunch or dinner. I can worry about that later.
Soon enough, Benjamin makes his way to the table in the library. He glances down at my book choice and smiles. “Ah, Energy Fundamentals. Not the best book for the details but it does lay out the foundations well. Find anything in particular interesting?”
I leaf through the pages as I talk. “It reiterates what you said yesterday, about the energy manifesting at an early age. The book claims that the affinity you end up with is not hereditary, it’s merely a result of a child’s core. How does that work, though?” I glance up at Benjamin. He took a seat across from me.
“Let’s start at the beginning. All children are born with white eyes. It can be a little unnerving for those seeing it for the first time, but it’s normal.” He smiles sheepishly. “I won’t bore you with the scientific explanation of why this happens but know that around seven, the color surfaces. Once your affinity is identified, the pigment represents that particular ability. Let’s say a child has the Flokil affinity,” Benjamin points to himself. “Those children up with red or orange eyes, and so on. Are you following so far?”
“I think so. What you’re saying is that talnarins under the age of seven don’t know what their affinity will be. Is there any way to determine that?”
Benjamin seems to ponder for a moment, his hand rubbing his chin. “Not exactly, but most of the time it’s obvious. Without going into too much detail, the child’s core is the key determining factor for the affinity you end up with. The core influences the personality of that child, allowing us to, at times, accurately predetermine what affinity they will sync with.” Benjamin pauses, thoughtful. I stare at him. “This is based off of certain… noticeable personality characteristics that show in childhood. The personality will still develop well past childhood, but the core foundation of who you are never changes. That’s why the affinity is chosen by the core that ties itself to you. This core, as you know, is the very essence that allows us access to our abilities.”
I mull over his words. I suppose, to a certain extent, I believe what he says about the core personality trait. It sounds like a soul. The soul remains as it is no matter what trials a person faces, and it’s the foundation of who you are as an individual. It’s what makes you, you.
I say, “I suppose it does make sense. Is core another word for soul or are they two different things? Could you say that your affinity is determined by your soul?”
“They are essentially the same thing, yes. That’s just another way of looking at it.” He looks so exited talking about this stuff, I could swear his face is glowing with it as he bounces in his seat like a child.
“So then why wouldn’t the pigment be determined at birth? The soul is what it is. Seven years doesn’t change it. Why does it take so long for the affinity to surface when the soul has been in your body since the beginning?”
My question makes Benjamin pause his bouncing. “You’re correct in that the core doesn’t alter in seven years, but it takes that long to mature and acclimate to the body. The core matures at a much different pace then our mental and physical selves. It’s many years ahead of the rest of our body. At the age of seven, the core is able to handle the burden the energy brings on both the body and user.”
“But how do you know that? And what do you mean when you say the soul, the core, is finally tied to the body?” I shake my head, confused. “How is the core not tied to the body before the age of seven? How is that even possible?”
This is all so confusing and hard to wrap my head around. You are born with a soul so how can it not be attached properly?
Benjamin smiles slightly. At least he’s patient. “The core is continually reincarnated, cycle after cycle, making the core thousands of years older than our bodies. The core is the only part of us that remains from another time and life. Any knowledge the core gains throughout the years, it keeps. This is why the core requires time to acclimate to the body hosting it. It’s an ancient and knowledgeable living being. It requires time and patience to adjust to a new body after it’s been wondering in Naviha for many long years.
”
A reincarnated soul? That’s what humans believe too, so it’s not that farfetched of a view. How can such different species hold such a similar world view? For someone like me, someone who doesn’t believe in the Gods anymore, reincarnation makes the theory seem a bit too mythical. Benjamin sounds so sure about it though, that it makes it hard to dispute it.
Another living being inside the talnarins? I lean back in my chair. Perhaps it’s the soul I feel lurking beneath the surface of all the talnarins. If I look at this way, things in Craforian make a bit more sense, even if his explanation leaves me with more questions than answers.
I don’t know what to ask first so I say whatever comes to mind first. “What’s Naviha?”
He smiles softly. “It’s a limbo for the cores. I know you have a lot of question regarding reincarnation, but let’s hold that discussion off for another time. It’s a lot to dive into and I really want you to get a better understanding on how to manipulate the core so training progresses a little bit easier for you. Does that sound fair?”
Disappointment floods through me at the abrupt close on this conversation, but I remind myself that my primary goal is training. If he wants to help speed that along, I need to roll with it. I start to ramble through everything I’ve learned. “So, training starts at seven and not before. Even though the energy is always there, it isn’t able to develop into physical manifestations until the core settles properly. There’s no way to pull from the energy any sooner than that because the soul hasn’t adjusted yet. Unless of course, the child is stronger like you mentioned yesterday. Stronger the child, the stronger the soul, right?”
Benjamin smiles proudly at me. “That’s correct. Ideally, we would like to start the practice before the age of seven but the energy is locked down inside the core. It’s waiting to be released. When it is released, it releases slowly to ensure there isn’t any danger to the child or those around them.”
Fractured Past (A Talnarin Novel Book 1) Page 10