I did it, I actually did it. Just like before, I snuff it out, then will it back again. Having a bit of fun, I will the flames away at the same time, then call them back together. Almost giddy with the success, I try alternating dosing each flame before willing them back at different times. I’m actually doing this. I’m controlling my power. I didn’t think I could. Every success makes my heart lift just a little bit higher. My goal is getting closer and closer.
I eventually stop playing with my fire and look to Erik for instruction.
“Impressive focus. This next part may be a little tricky. Just have patience and go small bits at a time, alright?” He says, monotone as ever.
“Okay.”
“You need to manipulate the energy away from you while still maintaining the force and intensity behind it. I’m going to lie some wood down and I want you to light it.”
As I wait for him to gather the materials into small pile, my thoughts churn in my head. I can do this. I’ll start small and work my way into a brighter blaze. It must be the same concept as the fire in my hands, right? All too soon, the wood pile is finished and stands two paces in front of me. I push down the nerves and close my eyes.
Like before, I work the energy through me until it rests just under the skin of my hands. I snap them open and imagine the invisible energy reaching for the timber pile. It needs to catch on a smaller piece of wood and burn, then the whole pile will light up. My focus doesn’t waiver as I stare at the wood. I can do this. I will do this. I will do this. I concentrate my will on the energy and bid it to follow my command. With a pop, a log catches instantly. And just like I had imagined it, the entire stock swiftly catches. Silver fire soon burns the entire pile to ashes.
I stare open mouthed for a long moment. Eventually, I look to Erik to find even his eyes a little wide. My ass hits the sand and a loud huff escapes my lips.
Well I’ll be damned. That just happened, and in one go too. Holy shit, how? I struggled to even draw it up for months, and now this. To manifest the energy away from myself took almost no time at all. Even Erik is surprised.
I manage to stutter out one word. “How?”
“You’re a quick learner. I wasn’t expecting you to get that one on your first try. Can you do it again? Without the wood this time?”
“No wood? How will the flames catch?”
“You don’t need the fuel; your energy is all the fuel your flames need. Your core, the storage place for all your energy, is a giant container of fuel that allows that fire to burn. It doesn’t matter where you will that energy, that’s where your fire will ignite Visualize it like you did with the flames you manipulated on your hands, only away from you. Push the energy in your core outwards. If you want them to, the flames could float high in the sky with the right amount of energy expended. Just remember, the further from you and your core, the more energy you’ll need to expend.”
He sounds so sure, but I don’t feel sure at all. But, he’s been doing this way longer than me. What do I know? If he’s telling me to try, I might as well listen.
If I could set the pile alight, I’m sure I can set the air on fire too. The heat reaches my hands as I visualize the path I want the energy to travel. I snap open my eyes to watch the next part, not wanting to miss anything. I focus on my energy, commanding it forward. There’s a slight resistance in my stomach, and it leaves me queasy. I push the feeling away and put my attention into feeding the energy into a tight ball a few paces from my face. Once I’m sure enough energy is coiled in space, I will it to ignite.
It does.
Except this time, it wasn’t a subtle burn, but a bright blast that sends me flying backwards. I slam into the wall with a heavy smack. The breath leaves my body and I’m left gasping for air. The smoke in the air causes me to cough. Worried, I look up to find Erik against the wall on the opposite side of the arena. I struggle to stand and go to him, hoping I didn’t kill him. Thankfully he’s not dead, and I watch as he stands and makes his way to me instead. His face is covered in black soot and parts of his clothes are singed. I wince at the immense and instantaneous guilt that consumes me.
“Well shit, Alanna, next time don’t concentrate it that much. You okay?” He says before I get a chance to ask if he’s okay and apologize.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know that would happen. Are you alright? I’m okay, but are you?” Still sitting on the ground, I peer up at his figure towering over me.
I see slight twitch in his lip, the only outward sign that he’s amused. “I’m fine. Nothing to be sorry for, you didn’t know. But for future reference, concentrating the energy like that is like creating a bomb. The bigger the energy concentration in one small radius, the larger the explosion.”
Confusion etches across my face. “A bomb? What’s a bomb?”
“That.” He points to the scorched black hole in the center of the arena. My eyes widen and my mouth drops. “That is a bomb. A concentrated blast of energy that will blow anyone or anything nearby, up.” He offers a hand and I hesitate briefly before grabbing it. Erik pulls me to my feet and I stumble. I mumble a small ‘thank you’ and look away. “Do you want to try again or call it quits?”
“Quits.” I’m not ready to do that again. Besides, I’m hungry and tired.
He looks at me for a moment. “I’m not surprised. That took up quite a bit of energy. Take that as a lesson though. This is why we train to control our energy use. If you don’t control it, you burn through it immediately and your abilities become useless. We’ll work on replenishing the energy you burn through too. With no understanding on how to feed the energy, you may find yourself in a tough spot one day. And although the energy will naturally refill itself, it’s a longer process. Now go grab something to eat.”
With that, I was gone.
Chapter 23
Before I head to lunch, I’ll stop in to talk to Abel about the training. I don’t know the protocol for reporting damages—if there even is one—but he should know. The crater I left in the arena was deep and wide, and it looks like it needs to be filled in. I’m assuming Abel oversees repairs. That’s how it would be in my village. We always brought the problems to those in charge.
I make my way to Abel’s office, and warning bells go off inside my head as I pass empty corridor after empty corridor. Where is everyone? I slow my pace, senses peeled for anything suspicious. At this time of day, early afternoon, the whole compound is out in the sun and yet not a soul is hanging around Abel’s place.
Soon, I’m creeping up the stairs and down the hall to his office. Did something happen? I pause outside his closed door and listen for any signs of life inside. Just as I reach my hand out for the door handle, I hear a noise down the hall where I came from. There’s another door to my left, and I open it and quietly slip into the dark, empty room.
I wait for what feels like a lifetime, holding my breath. I hear footsteps coming from down the hall—more than one set of footsteps. They’re arguing in hushed tones. Something keeps me from rushing out the door and out the building. Something tells me I need to hear this. I wait.
The voices are growing louder. The loudest and angriest voice of the two is new. It’s husky and deep, almost hypnotizing in its intensity. I image the owner to be big and bulky talnarin, with a balding head. The quieter and calmer voice clearly belongs to Abel, the smooth tone giving him away. The door muffles the faint words too much and I can’t make out what their saying.
My patience is running out and the longer I stay in here, the more difficult it will be to leave. The longer I hide, the guiltier I look. Right before I talk myself into leaving, their sentences start to make sense. It’s the voice of the bald man that’s talking now.
“…you don’t know anything. Not where she came from, who she is, or why she’s here. She’s a threat and needs to be dealt with. You know this as well as I do.” I slap my hands over my mouth to silence my gasp. My gut screams at me to flee, but I hold
myself still, needing to hear the rest.
This time its Abel’s soft voice that says, “Give it more time before you act. She’s isn’t all she appears to be. I do not think she means us harm Brother.” Brother? The one Elaine was taking about the other day? I really hope they’re not actually referring to me. It would make my time here so much more unpleasant and deadly.
“Then tell me Abel, why does this girl not exist anywhere? You sent Erik to investigate where she could have come from and he came back with nothing. Even my Elite came back empty handed and you know as well as I, that never happens. None of this makes sense. She is a threat until we know the truth. And from what you told me, she isn’t very forthcoming with it. No, she needs to be dealt with now. The longer we wait to act, the bigger the threat. I won’t let any harm come to my people Abel.”
Please don’t be talking about me. I’m not a threat, not to the people here. I need to make them see that, but how?. I can’t tell them the truth, I’ll just end up on the other side of the chopping block. This is a mess, one I don’t know how to get out of. They must be talking about me.
“Brother, all I ask for is a little more time. Let Erik and Benjamin continue to working with her. They both have a better chance of gaining her trust. They will gain a better understanding on her intentions the more time they spend with her. She’s already starting to lower her guard. And from what Elaine told me, the girl is softening towards the idea of befriending her as well. Their conservation last time went fairly well. Meet her yourself before you make a hasty decision to kill her. She is hiding things yes, but I believe it is for a very good reason. Something frightens the child, something haunts her.”
The husky voice finally breaks the silence. “Her eyes. The fire. They’re silver, Abel or did you forget. Its unusual. Abnormal. She isn’t right. Who knows what else she can do! She needs to be eliminated.”
My eyes sting, tears welling up. There’s no question now that I’m the subject of their conversation now. How do I fix this? I strain to hear Abel’s response. “She is not all she seems Brother, but she is hurting. Deeply. She reminds me of us when we lost…”
“DON’T.” I manage to hold in the surprised squeak. “Enough. I’ll meet with her out of respect for you, but I’m not making any promises. If at the end of my observation I still perceive her as a problem, she dies, Abel. Understand?”
I flinch back at the pure rage in his voice. It seems to shake the door in its frame. I listen for anything else, but I can only hear the sound of retreating footsteps. I take a moment to compose myself before quietly sliding down the length of the door. I plop down and grip my hair tightly in my hands. I’m tempted to pound my head back into the thick wood, but I know it would only draw attention to my location.
Now what? Apparently, I’m a threat and this could end badly for me. One wrong move and my head gets detached from my neck. Maybe not, but I’ll die just the same, however they plan to carry out my unjust execution. How do I convince them I’m not a threat? If I tell them about my past, it could end in my death as well. I need to tread very carefully.
Besides, I don’t know what his brother looks like. I only know his voice and I haven’t talked to many here. He could already be at Craforian. He did elude that I’m under surveillance, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s him doing it.
Elaine. She’s befriending me on Abel’s orders. That hurts more than I care to admit. While I don’t necessarily like her, I don’t hate her anymore, either. She is always kind and understanding, or that’s how she appears. It’s a ruse, all of it and it makes me furious. I had enjoyed our talk a few days ago, it was nice talking to a girl again. Now I can’t trust anything she says. She’s been reporting everything to Abel. I push the hurt aside and focus at the task at hand.
And Erik investigated me. Or tried to anyway. That’s why he was gone that morning. He was out looking for leads on my past. Clearly, he didn’t look in the right places. I’ll bet my life that, although they clearly know I’m different, they haven’t connected the dots about my humanity just yet. Otherwise, they would have found out where I can from. It’s a relief to know my secret hasn’t t been discovered yet. The longer I stay here, the greater the chance that they’ll figure it out.
I could always leave. If I leave now, I lose the chance of learning more about the talnarins and controlling my powers. But, is knowledge enough of a reason to stay and risk my death? If I die, my revenge dies with me. I can’t lose that. It’s the only thing I have left. My revenge and redemption are the only thing I still carry inside me that are mine. Can I give that all up for a possible life of safety?
I already know the answer. I’ve known it from the start. I can’t give up the last piece of me. I’ll lose my old life for good if I do. I’ll lose who I am, or who I used to be before everything happened. I’ll lose my last connection to my family and home.
Still, if I leave without learning complete control over my powers, I risk blowing myself up before I can execute my revenge plan. What do I choose? What option gives me with the best chance of survival? What path will have the higher odds of getting to Him? Do I bet on a risk I already know or do I bet on a risk that’s foreign to me?
I choose the one I know. The lesser of the two evils. I’ll have my things packed and ready to go tonight. I’ll use the cover of darkness to leave. After hearing Abel and his brother talk, I realize I’m not free to leave after all, never really was. If they see me as a threat then there’s no way they would let me leave. They wouldn’t risk me leaving with the information I now have of Craforian. I’ll leave tonight with only the faint moonlight to guide me.
Mind made up, I slowly stand once more. I place my ear against the door and listen for any noise. Hearing nothing, I gingerly open the door a crack and peer one eye out. Coast clear, I open it wider and step out. The tricky part will be getting past the now open door to Abel’s office. I could try to sneak by but my odds of getting seen are high. So instead, I hold my head high, push my emotions down, and will my facial expressions to clear. I walk fast toward the door, tying to angle my body like I came from the hall. As I get near, I notice Abel facing away from me and decide to make my move. I knock of the door in three short raps. He startles slightly and turns his chair.
“Alanna, what can I do for you?” Abel asks sweetly, plastering a smile on his face.
Well to start, don’t kill me. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do but I blew up the arena a little.” He looks surprised and… amused, I think. “I mean, nothing was damaged really, just a hole in the sand but I thought I should tell you. Do I need to clean it or anything?” It’s hard to keep the emotional turmoil from my face. At least he’s not a mental manipulator, right?
“It’s alright, no need to clean it. I am sure Erik already took care of it. Thank you for informing me. Was there anything else?” His eyes are almost pleading with me. For what, I can’t say. My gut warns me to tread carefully, but there’s no way he knows I was listening. Still a shiver works its way down my spine at the thought.
“No that’s all.” Without another word, I turn and stride out the door. Once I’m free from his gaze, I nearly sprint back to my room. Inside, I pack up my meager belongings and set the pack by the door.
I need to make a plan. I don’t know how long it will be until my next meal, so I’ll grab some provisions from the kitchen. Once that’s done, I’ll head to the library to ‘study.’ I need to appear as normal as possible. I don’t want anyone suspecting that I’m taking off tonight. I’ll resume my daily routine and retire to my room at sundown. Then I’ll bide my time until everyone’s asleep. That’s when I’ll slip away.
Plan figured out, I head to the kitchen. I can only hope it’s empty, but knowing my luck, it won’t be.
Sure enough, when I arrive, Elaine is casually sitting at the table reading a book. She glances up and smiles warmly, though now all I can see is the sinister reason behind it. I ignore her attention and open the ref
rigerator. I browse through the options and ultimately decide against perishables. Instead, I reach into the various shelves and pull bread and snacks down. I stack it all on a tray and grab a canister of water. I turn around and almost drop everything.
Elaine had moved in behind me and stands too close. I step away and hit my back against the counter. She swiftly reaches forward and grabs the tray from me. I barely manage to hold back my scowl.
“You look like you can use some help carrying this. You’re a little pale, you okay?” She asks with seemingly genuine concern.
I clear my throat before speaking. “I’ll be fine. Practice was a bit rough is all. Erik told me to eat and rest so I decided to stock up so I don’t have to leave my room tonight.” I’m amazed at how easily the lies slipped from my tongue. I only hope it’s enough to get her to stop asking questions and leave me be.
“I’ll help you carry this, grab another water just in case.” Before I can utter a word of protest, she leaves the kitchen. I grab another canister and take off after her. Along the way, she makes small talk about random things. I tune it out. Soon enough, we arrive at my room and I place my provisions on the end table. Elaine says a quick goodbye before she closes the door behind her.
I breath in a small sigh of relief before I jump in the shower. Who knows the next time I’ll be able to bath. I make this one count.
Chapter 24
The time has finally arrived. The moon is angled high in the sky and the darkness of the night reigns. I’ve waited for the sounds of life to quiet before making my move.
I fit my pack on my back and grip my bow in my hands. These past few days, I’d gotten comfortable enough to leave my bow in the room. At last I’d also started sleeping in the bed instead of leaning against the door all night. The bath had become a daily thing as well, letting my guard down enough to strip down and clean up.
Fractured Past (A Talnarin Novel Book 1) Page 14