With a cry that dispelled the last of his doubt about how she truly felt about him, she threw herself into his arms, and buried her face in his chest. Zane wrapped his arms around her, held her to him, grounded in her warmth. Never in his life had he felt such a complete and utter conviction that he was exactly where he was meant to be.
“Me, too,” Ty said.
With Gunner’s help, Ty slid off his shoulders and pushed his way between Evie and Zane, hugging them both. Zane could think of no more perfect moment.
“Zane?”
“Yeah, bud.”
“Mom’s going to need her coffee now.”
* * *
“This is your clubhouse?” Evie stared at the grand country house nestled at the foot of the Bridger Mountains. “It looks like something out of the movies where rich people go for the weekend to get away from it all.”
Zane reached over and unfastened her seat belt, a small but courteous gesture, and one she hadn’t expected of an outlaw biker. But then, so far Zane had defied pretty much every expectation she had of who he had become.
Except one. When faced with overwhelming emotion, he still shut down. And the scene at the café definitely fell into the overwhelming category. For both of them.
“We had another clubhouse but the Jacks burned it down,” Tank said from the backseat of the SUV where he’d taken up guard duty and spent the ride cursing about Zane’s driving, to Ty’s utter delight.
“We got this place from a drug dealer who tried to cheat us,” he continued. “It’s isolated and big enough to accommodate the club, so we decided to fix it up. It’s not so pretty inside. Get a buncha brothers together, and you’re not gonna get any fancy decorating.”
After helping Ty out of the vehicle, Zane put an arm around Evie’s waist and led her up the steps. He hadn’t said a word since they’d found each other outside the café, and she was glad for the chance to collect her thoughts. She couldn’t get Viper’s words out of her head. She’d sensed Zane was holding something back when he told her about her father’s death, but had he lied? And what about the other men he allegedly killed? And the woman in the dungeon? Had she been naive about the Sinners and what they did? And what about the Jacks? Who were the monsters and who were the men?
“Stop.” She paused on the threshold. “Is it … kid friendly inside?”
Tank laughed. “I called ahead. Made sure Sherry, our house mama, understood we needed a PG environment. She sent all the girls home, cleaned up the booze, disposed of the … wrappers. We’re good.”
Evie supposed that should make her feel better, but the thought of Zane hanging out here where girls, booze and “wrappers” made it a constant non-PG environment, sent a strange flutter through her belly. How many women had he been with? How many biker parties had he attended where he’d taken women into the shadowy corners and—
“None,” he whispered, his voice a sensual rumble in her ear.
“How do you know what I’m thinking?” She didn’t even pretend she didn’t know what he was talking about because she wanted the answer.
“Because I know you.” His arm tightened around her, and his words spilled out. “I spent a lifetime learning everything about you, the way you tense when you’re stressed, the way your brow crinkles when you’re confused, and how your lips tighten when you’re jealous. Good thing we don’t have any pink soda in the kitchen, or any girls named Melissa.”
Shocked that he remembered the isolated incident, surprised he was talking at all, she pulled up short. “That was an accident.” But his smirk told her he knew she was lying. Melissa Parker, destined to be prom queen from the moment she set foot in Stanton High School, had been after Zane from day one. And when he took her to the school spring dance, the year Evie turned sixteen, and put his arms around her slim athletic body, Evie knew it was time to leave.
But of course, she didn’t listen to the tiny voice of warning. Although she and Zane had an unspoken agreement not to acknowledge their feelings, there was something between them that went beyond friendship. And that night it was Melissa. At least it was until Evie “accidentally” spilled pink soda on Melissa’s almost-see-through white dress. Who knew it would stain? She hadn’t been able to read Zane’s expression as he watched a shrieking Melissa run for the restroom. But she didn’t need to. Melissa was gone, and that was all she cared about.
“I waited for you to come back that night,” he said softly. “I couldn’t understand why you went to so much trouble, and then left the dance.”
“I was scared.” She leaned her forehead against his shoulder, unable to meet his gaze. “I thought if you touched me like that, we could never be friends again.”
Zane gripped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted her head back, then gave her a long, lingering kiss. “You were right.”
“Ewwwww. That’s gross.” Ty broke away and ran down the hallway, pulling up short when a biker with a thick, matted gray beard stepped out of a side room, filling the hallway with his bulk.
“Hey kid.”
“Mom.” Ty took one step back, and then another. Evie broke away from Zane, and put a hand on his head. “It’s okay.”
“This is Shaggy,” Tank said, coming to the rescue. “He’s the oldest member of the club and he hasn’t washed his beard in twenty years.”
Ty gave him an appraising look. “Cool.”
“Kid thinks I’m cool.” Shaggy snorted a laugh. “Now I’m not gonna wash it for another twenty years.”
“You’re not gonna live another fucking twenty years, old-timer.” Tank ushered Ty into the living area. “That’s why T-Rex and I both got seats on the executive board. We’re waiting for you to kick the shit bucket.”
“I’ll kick your ass, junior patch, how about that for some damn kicking?”
“Mom, can I go get the swear jar?” Ty turned to Evie, his eyes wide. “We’re going to be rich!”
* * *
Zane left Evie and Ty with Tank and headed for the kitchen. Jagger had called an emergency board meeting for tomorrow morning, but Zane couldn’t wait that long. He wanted Viper dead. And he wanted it done tonight.
“We were waiting for you.” Cade waved him in and held up a beer. Zane shook his head. He had only just started coming down from the adrenaline rush of the afternoon, and a beer would knock him out.
Gunner, Sparky and Jagger had already cracked open a couple of cold ones and lounged on the wooden chairs in the country-style kitchen, the only room in the clubhouse that hadn’t undergone a significant renovation.
“I put twenty on you showing up in fifteen minutes.” Sparky twisted the top off his beer. “Jagger had his money on five. Cade on ten. Gunner didn’t buy in because he spent all his money at Peelers.”
“Pay up.” Jagger waved his arm vaguely around the room. “I need all the cash I can get. Arianne runs through ammo like civilian ladies run through shoes.”
Zane leaned against the wall as money was exchanged, too wound up to sit. Hell, he couldn’t even handle a beer. He wanted Evie upstairs, in his bed, safe and in his arms. Maybe then his rage would subside.
“Viper dies tonight,” he blurted out. “I’m heading out. With or without the club.”
Jagger raised an eyebrow and took a long, slow drink. “I’ll let that one slide because I know you’ve just been through fucking hell. Going after Viper alone is a suicide mission. We’ve got Mario undercover in the Black Jack clubhouse now and he says Viper’s doing a meet at the Riverside Bar tomorrow night. We’ll do a double strike. Half the brothers will go for T-Rex because security will be light with Viper gone. The other half will go to Riverside. Benson’s gonna keep the cops off our back until it’s done.” He placed the beer carefully on the table. “I expect you to be there. If you go off tonight and get yourself killed, I will chase you down in the afterlife and hell will seem like fucking heaven when I’m done with you.”
“You always were a goddamn bastard.”
“You saved my l
ife more times than I can count,” Jaggers said. “I’m just returning the favor.” He lifted his beer again, tipped the bottle in salute. “Now go see your woman and your son. They need you more than I need to look at your ugly face.”
“He’s not that ugly,” Gunner mused. “Actually with those fine cheekbones and that long hair, he’s kinda pretty. And ever since he met Evie, his eyes have that special glow.” He batted his eyelashes and Sparky spluttered out his beer.
“You’re the one who’s glowing. How many times did you get your knob polished last night?”
“You’re just jealous.” Gunner smirked. “When’s the last time you had a woman in your bed that you didn’t have to pay?”
Sparky folded his arms and glared. “Look who’s fucking talking. You couldn’t even buy into the pool right now ’cause you blew all your cash at Peelers.”
“At least I got a blow, brother. You got dick all.”
Usually Zane enjoyed their banter, but right now he had no patience for jokes or laughter. He needed Evie like he needed air to breathe. She calmed him, soothed him, helped fight the darkness that threatened his control.
He didn’t know what he would do if he lost her again.
Probably die.
* * *
After leaving Ty to play basketball at the side of the clubhouse with Shooter and a jaw-droppingly handsome young biker named Hacker, Evie followed Tank back inside for a tour of the clubhouse.
As she trailed behind him, Evie was reminded of the frat parties she’d snuck into as a teen. A huge crystal chandelier dominated the massive front hall, leading to a grand, slightly curved staircase, with an ornate carved balustrade. The oak floors were bare, and scuffed, although the walls clearly had been refinished and painted judging from their cleanliness relative to the rest of the clubhouse. Here and there she caught glimpses of antique furniture, covered in beer cans and riding gloves, pizza boxes and papers. Framed pictures of motorcycles and women on bikes adorned the walls, and the pungent, yeasty odor of stale beer permeated every room.
Tank led her into the kitchen just as Zane was walking out. Jagger, Cade, Sparky and Gunner were drinking beer and laughing, but Zane’s face had smoothed to an expressionless mask as it always did when he fought against strong emotion.
“Wait.” She placed a hand on Zane’s chest and he froze mid-step. “There’s something I need to tell you and you might want to share it with Jagger.” She glanced over at her now-rapt audience and lowered her voice. “Maybe we should talk outside. Viper was there. He said something to me about Stanton.”
Pain flickered across Zane’s face so fast she wasn’t sure if she’d seen it. “It’s okay. They know about Stanton. Everyone on the executive board and Arianne. You can say anything in front of them. I trust my brothers.”
Evie wound one hand around his arm, and gave the group a nervous smile. “Viper was outside the café today. He must have been part of the shooting. He held Ty and me at gunpoint and—”
“Son of a bitch.” Zane ripped her hand away. “Jag. Now.”
“Let her finish.” Jagger held up his hand and nodded for Evie to continue.
“He knows about the warrant for Zane’s arrest. He threatened to give the information to the police unless I … er … went with him. I didn’t.” She shrugged. “Obviously.”
Silence.
When they continued to stare at her, she swallowed and looked away. “I thought there was a better chance that you could protect Zane than taking the risk of going with Viper only to have him make the call anyway. I’m not sure how he got that information.”
“T-Rex.” Jagger’s voice shook with rage. “He’s getting intel from T-Rex.”
A wave of dizziness hit her and she gripped Zane’s arm. There was only one way to get information from an unwilling prisoner and she couldn’t bear to think of T-Rex in pain.
“Do you believe me now?” Jagger met the gaze of every man in the room save Zane. “I told you she would never betray us. Evie’s no Black Jack spy. She just didn’t understand who Viper was. Now she does and she’s on our side.”
Shock took her breath away. She had never even considered that they would think she was a spy. And yet, Zane had never asked the question. He trusted her implicitly. He had faith in her.
So how could she ask him the questions Viper had raised? How could she ask if they had a dungeon, and if they did if they had imprisoned Viper’s old lady? How could she ask about the man called Wheels or the Black Jacks Zane had supposedly shot in Whitefish? How could she make him think she didn’t trust him? And, if her loyalty was in doubt, asking those questions might raise suspicions all over again. But more than that, did she really want to know? Because if Viper was right about those things, maybe he was right about her father’s death, and then, what would she do?
“Let’s go.” Zane tugged her arm, drawing her away from the kitchen.
“They thought I was a spy,” she said as they walked down the hall. “I didn’t ask to be associated with the club. I didn’t ask for any of this.”
“We had a Black Jack rat in the house a while back.” He looked straight ahead as he spoke, his body rigid, barely touching hers. “He joined the club as a prospect, and he had us fooled. His background and his papers all checked out. He hid his skills so well, he had us wondering if he was good enough to patch in, which is what they wanted. In and out. Minimize the chances of being caught. By the time we figured it out, it was almost too late. I almost lost Jagger that day. Second worst fucking day of my life.”
“What was the first?”
“The day I lost you.”
EIGHTEEN
The quality of your repair will depend on your desire to do a good job and your willingness to spend the time to make it right.
—SINNER’S TRIBE MOTORCYCLE REPAIR MANUAL
She should never have come here.
Evie followed Zane up the huge staircase and down a spacious hallway lined with doors and dotted with pictures of motorcycles. She traced her finger along the frame of a vintage print as Zane unlocked his door. This club, this war, these bikers, their way of life … everything was so far removed from what she knew.
Biker wars, guns, threats, kidnapping, drugs, politics, and death. She didn’t understand the rules of this world, nor did she want to be part of it. So how would Zane fit into her life? And how could she protect Ty from being sucked into a world that was a mother’s worst nightmare?
Evie followed him in to a large room containing a low-rise bed covered in rumpled sheets, a dresser and a night table. And nothing else.
“Is this your room?”
“Yeah.”
“You live here?” Evie stared at the blank walls and empty surfaces. Where were the books, magazines, fast food containers, or pictures that made a room personal? Why were there no clothes on the floor, trophies of biker outings, or any of the detritus that she had expected to see in the room of an outlaw biker? What about music? Even a dock for his phone? Or a laptop? “It looks like you just moved out.”
He closed the door behind him with a firm click. “I just sleep here, and not that often.”
Maybe that was it. He had a girlfriend and he stayed with her, which was why everyone had been so surprised when he’d brought her to the clubhouse. But then why did he sleep with her?
Why not? Outlaws didn’t follow civilian law. Maybe they didn’t follow civilian codes either. Monogamy probably wasn’t part of the outlaw equation, and he probably had women falling at his feet. He’d been good-looking as a teenager, but now, all filled out, his muscles hard with use, face slightly weathered, chest tatted, he was devastatingly handsome. Breathtaking, really.
“Sure. I get it.” So why did she feel so … angry? She kept pushing him away, and yet the thought of him with another woman made her stomach knot the way it had when he’d shown up at the high school dance with Melissa.
“What do you get?”
“Just … why you’ve got nothing personal in here. I under
stand.” Evie twisted her hair around her finger.
“I don’t think you do.” Zane held out his arms. “Come to me, Evie.”
She walked over to the window, took in the vast expanse of lawn, the barbed wire fence, the guards and patrol dogs. “I slept with other guys after Mark. I didn’t bring them home, either.” Not that this was a home. It was a fortress. And the fact they had to live this way said it all.
He gave a frustrated growl. “I don’t want to hear about other guys.”
She turned, folded her arms across her chest. “Did you sleep with lots of women? All those women at the party? The ones who live at the clubhouse? That’s part of the biker way of life isn’t it? Along with kidnapping and torture and … death.”
“Evie.” His voice rose to a shout, startling her. “Jesus Fuck. I’m losing it here. I thought I lost you and Ty. I was fucking paralyzed. I had to call Jagger for help. I don’t call people for help, Evie. I don’t need people. And then I have to fucking hear that while I was trying to find you, Viper was holding a gun to your head. You were so damn brave and strong.”
“I had Ty with me,” she said. “Going with Viper wasn’t really an option.”
“There aren’t many people who would have said no, sweetheart. I can guarantee it.” He raked his hand through his hair, the dark strands brushing over his shoulders. “You had faith in my brothers and they didn’t have faith in you. You put them to shame down there.”
“I didn’t mean…” Her voice trailed off as pain etched his face.
“I don’t want to need you, but I do.” His voice rose, wavered. “I need you like the air I breathe, the water I drink, the food I eat. I need you because you are the only thing that keeps the darkness away. You are my light, Evie, my hope, my salvation. When I thought I’d lost you, I lost myself. And if you don’t let me hold you right now, so I know I’m not dreaming, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind.”
She went to him, slid into that space in the circle of his arms that was meant for her. “I’m here, baby.”
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