by Hadley Quinn
He slid his arms around her and gave her lips a gentle kiss. “Maybe. Maybe not. The fact is…you’re willing to risk it.”
Her smile widened and she teetered her head with a response. “Yeah, I am. In more ways than one.”
Pretending to be clueless was not a game Max ever chose to play. He knew exactly what Anna meant, and being that their relationship was indeed an actual relationship—complete with it being all over the media now—he appreciated her willingness to remind him of her commitment as many times as she could.
But it worried the shit out of him. He’d been doing his best to steer through this new territory—being in a relationship with someone and for the world to see, whether he liked it or not—and he was hesitant to let it get very serious. There was no way he could handle such a strike at this point in his life. He had his upcoming movie to focus on and didn’t need unnecessary publicity taking away from that.
“Me too, sweetheart,” he whispered, kissing her forehead this time.
Why the hell did he say that? He was automatically being compliant. He groaned to himself, silently chastising his habit of being convincing and agreeable. The truth was, although he accepted this relationship with Anna, he wasn’t at all ready to risk anything. Too many changes were happening at once. He needed to slow the fuck down.
“Daddy, can we eat?” Chase whined impatiently.
They each sat down at the table, just as Max’s phone alerted him with a text. He went to silence it but saw Kate’s message plain as day.
Where the fuck are you!!?? Where the fuck is my son!!!!! Call me NOW!
Following professional advice, he chose to reply with a text message instead of a call. He excused himself from the table, giving Anna a silent warning as to why. She frowned but focused her attention on Chase while serving him some dinner.
Max: We’re just starting dinner and staying in for the night. I’ll bring him to you in the morning since you never told me what day you’d be back.
It didn’t matter what Max said or didn’t say, Kate would shit bricks either way. Sometimes the audacity of that woman was really hard to believe. Poised and put together for the public, but a total fucking nightmare behind closed doors. He’d tried to understand her resentment and hostility a million times, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around it. She got money and notoriety, was making her mark in society like she wanted…
What more did she want, and why was making his life a living hell even a part of it?
Kate: Where are you!? Staying where for the night? Where is my kid!!!!!!
Max: He’s fine. We’re just having a quiet time away from the city. We’ll see you in the morning.
Kate: Let me talk to him!
Max: I’ll have him call you after dinner
Kate: Not good enough! I want to talk to my son!
Kate: Stop being an asshole
Kate: Put him on right now before you find yourself splattered all over the tabloids in the morning!
Well, now that was the perfect threat. Kate was smart, but every now and then her fake composure faltered. Max chose to ignore her, even leaving his phone on silent in the family room. He returned to the table just in time to hear Chase talk about C.J. and Cade from the night before.
“They sound so super cute,” Anna smiled. “I’m glad they have you to look out for them, too.”
“I wanna play more but they are too little,” he answered.
“They only need some more time to grow bigger like you. Just wait until you’re all older, then you get to do a lot more things together.”
Max smiled as he considered that, especially after spending last evening with his brother and cousins. It would be ideal. If things could go back to normal and he could have a better relationship with his family, maybe everything else wouldn’t seem so bad.
Once Chase had watched one of his favorite cartoon movies after dinner and was tucked into bed, Max sat down on the couch with Anna. She seemed particularly aware of his mood, but Max had yet to inform her of the entire story.
Perhaps now was the time.
“I think I should probably fill you in on some things,” he began. “If you and I are moving forward with this—you know, us—then you should be in the loop. Thank you for giving me the time to bring it up on my own, but I don’t really think there will be a ‘better’ time. It is what it is and…I trust you so…”
“Do you really?” she asked carefully, studying him for a moment. “Do you really trust me or do you want to trust me. There’s a difference, Max. Because if you don’t entrust me with your secrets, then I don’t want to know them. I don’t want you to appease my curiosity and cushion my concern. I want you to feel comfortable with me on your own accord.”
He contemplated for a good ten seconds, just to respect her feelings and process her words. “I understand where you’re coming from, and I appreciate your honesty—”
“You don’t need to be so formal with me either. I’m a big girl. You don’t have to validate my feelings or justify your inhibitions. I get it, okay?” She scooted closer to him on the couch and placed her hand against his neck. “Max, I care about you and your well being more than I care about my curiosity being satisfied. Sleep on it, okay? Tell me in the morning if you still feel the same way.”
She kissed him on the lips, slow at first with just the tip of her tongue, and then deeper when he pulled her closer to hold her tight. One thing easily led to another, so Max stood from the couch and pulled her along to his bedroom.
Once he shut and locked the door, he pressed Anna up against the wall with his body, pinning her hands above her head. With his other hand, he gripped her hip, kneading his fingers into the softness that curved to her backside.
“You have no idea how much I’ve needed this with you the last few days,” she whispered.
“I feel the same way,” he murmured into her hair, his lips against her temple. He kissed her mouth again, delving deep with his tongue, meeting the desire she was allowing him to see and feel.
She exhaled a shaky breath when he pressed his lips against her forehead. “When you kiss me, everything goes away but us. You take me to another place; a place that makes me crumble in the best way; a place I’ve only been to with you.”
Hearing such meek admissions was the biggest turn on right now. From the news conference to Kate’s demands, Max wanted to escape to another world. He completely understood what Anna meant: when the two of them were together, there was a connection that he’d never experienced before. Maybe that was what love was about; two people not only craving every physical pleasure from each other, but two people who valued the other’s wellbeing more than his or her own.
He even craved just being in the same room with her.
But no, he wasn’t in love with her. He wasn’t even sure what love was anymore. He’d once had it—or thought he did—and it had destroyed a large portion of who he was. A definition of love seemed to change within particular circumstances. He also believed there were many levels to loving someone. But he couldn’t imagine having feelings for someone again only for that person to walk away.
Love only served those who loved love.
Anna tugged her arms down, so he released his hold. He could tell she was about to switch him places in order to give him a blowjob, but decided he wouldn’t let her. Instead, Max led her to the bed. He slowly undressed her, taking his time to feel her skin with every touch of his fingers. She was watching him, but every now and then she’d close her eyes and exhale a bit heavier. These moments with her—the intimacy that made her moans catch in her throat—were what Max was beginning to enjoy and fear.
He was falling so fucking hard but he refused to be a lover of love.
“Baby, get on the bed,” he spoke softly.
She did as he commanded, lying on her back, still watching him. Her entire body was bare before him, every inch exposed for him to ravage if he so desired. He’d get to that in a bit, but right now, he wanted to cherish and
take care of it.
He knelt on the bed between her legs, spreading them just a little more. Lifting a thigh, he leaned down and gently kissed it, his tongue slipping out in between kisses to run along her skin. He gently bit the inside of her leg and she took in a sharp breath of air. He knew she loved it because she shifted the rest of her body seductively, informing him she wanted more.
He kissed her skin again until his lips were right against her pussy. He let his tongue loose, pressing against the arousal he could taste, and nipping at her clit with his lips. She moaned again, a sound so fucking sexy and rewarding, Max wanted to plunge his cock deep inside her. When she fisted the hair on the back of his head and released a pleasure-filled whimper, it only turned him on more.
Her hips lifted off the bed. He could feel her legs quiver every time he hit those sensitive nerves in her clit. God, he could make her buck and squirm and it was the best thing ever. With his mouth still kissing and sucking, he slid two fingers against her wetness at the same time, massaging her entrance before he slipped them inside. He wanted her to feel that pleasure, that release…for her to come all over his hand to prove he’d done the job right.
When that moment hit, he didn’t watch her release down below. He felt her walls tighten around his fingers and the wetness increase, but he couldn’t take his attention off her face: her mouth, her eyes, her teeth biting that lip. Fuck, it was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. To be a twenty-eight-year-old man and to have never taken the time to experience sex like this…was ridiculous. He instantly regretted every selfish moment of sexual gratification he’d ever had. It was downright shameful, and at the same time, now one of the best schooling experiences of his life.
He could feel all of it in his heart.
Max removed his clothes, eager to fuck the hell out of her. It was the first time he really felt like the passion and desire to continue connecting with her might not stick around. It wasn’t about personal gratification this time. It was about indulging in something so mutually exclusive that it beat any other accomplishment in his life and he wanted it to last.
His lips were now on her mouth; her fingers were tangled in his hair, gripping it tightly. It hurt, but it was a good hurt. The best hurt. And the more pain he felt from her pulling his hair and piercing his skin with her nails, the harder he drove into her. The headboard hit the wall, not just once but several times, and when he realized how much noise they were both making, Max thought that maybe he needed to slow it down a bit. He definitely hadn’t meant to be so rough.
He slowed his rhythm, taking more time to pull out and slide back in; gentler kisses on her lips, his tongue making deliberate love in her mouth. He looped his arm under Anna’s left leg and applied a different angle.
“Oh God,” she moaned, her breathing picking up again. “Max…Jesus…”
And bam, release number two.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was the worst feeling in the world. A rock in the pit of his stomach and bitterness lingering in his throat. Giving Chase back to his mom was comparable to a car wreck that left you scared and somewhat disoriented.
No, Max had been in one of those… This was worse.
“I want you to call me whenever you want, okay buddy?” he asked, glancing into the mirror at Chase in the back seat of the truck. He watched him nod, and even though Max had more to say, he just couldn’t. What would be the point? Kate didn’t give a fuck what anyone else wanted. He could request one tiny show of humanity from her and it still wouldn’t matter.
Kate doesn’t control the love you have for your son, he reminded himself. And it was true. No matter what other people did in his life or around him, he couldn’t let it control his own actions.
He pulled to a stop at a red light.
“Chase?” he asked to gain his attention again. When Chase’s big brown eyes connected with his in the mirror, he added, “I love you, pal. Okay? Daddy loves you, and I really miss you when you’re not around. Will you always remember that?”
He waited for Chase to nod his head. He did, but didn’t say a word in response. Max wondered if Chase knew what love was or if Kate ever said those words to him. He’d never heard his son say it in return, and even though that was something he might not ever hear, he at least wanted his kid to know he loved him no matter what. Maybe Chase was getting so used to being around an array of faces that he wasn’t in need of anyone in particular.
The thought stuck with him as he navigated the familiar streets of Beverly Hills until he pulled into the private entrance at the back of Kate’s luxury apartment complex. Security was obviously surprised to see him driving himself, as Max would normally have a driver, but since so many things were always out of sync in his life, the disarray felt somewhat normal.
He pulled into the VIP lot and parked, pausing in the driver’s seat after shutting off the engine. There was something different about transferring Chase to his mom this time. Every time Max had been in this position, it was always a dreaded experience. The bitterness and resentment was hard to keep at bay sometimes, but he had trained himself well when it came to Kate. He never allowed her to see how much misery she’d inflicted upon his life. He never wanted her to have that power.
Those same feelings were still present, but this time it was worse. He felt it in his chest, not just in his mood. There was a significant weight pressing on his heart, complete with extra aches when he wondered when he’d be able to see Chase again. Just the panic and heartache he felt from it made him want to cry.
He got out of the truck and opened the back door. He forced a smile out of habit and asked, “You ready to see your mom?” Max unbuckled him from his car seat and set him on the concrete of the parking garage, kneeling down beside him. “Remember to call me if you want to, okay? Let your mom know you want to talk to your dad.” He waited until Chase nodded. “And always remember how much I love you and how much I miss you when you’re gone. Alright?”
Chase nodded again so Max gave him a hug, picking him up at the same time. He grabbed his little backpack and shut the truck door, and then reluctantly headed for the entrance to the building. Kate lived in the best suite available; courtesy of Max to keep her happy and make sure his son had a safe place to live.
While he walked with Chase to the elevator, they talked about some of the fun things they’d done over the week. Passing the security desk, Max nodded at the man attending the post.
“Mr. McCallan,” he nodded in return, pressing the elevator for them.
“How are you today, Carl?” Max asked.
Carl’s eyebrows rose in obvious surprise. It was true, Max hardly spoke if he didn’t have to. But he normally did smile or nod, and yes, he was aware of people’s names when the opportunity was present. It was just easier to skip any type of conversation sometimes.
“I’m-I’m doing good. Thank you, sir. How about yourself?”
The elevator doors opened and Max forced another smile as he stepped on with Chase. And it was because of innocent questions like that that made him avoid interactions with people. Because he had to lie when he answered, “I’m doing great, thank you for asking.”
As the doors closed, Max sighed and turned his attention back to his son. “So what do you think you and your mom will be doing today?”
Chase shrugged, and for some reason, he’d become completely somber since the car ride.
“Are you sad?” Max asked.
Chase didn’t answer. Instead, his brow wrinkled and dropped his chin just a bit with a frown.
“What’s going on, buddy? You’ve been so quiet since we left the house. Are you okay?”
Chase nodded, but still didn’t speak. This was killing Max. One part of him wanted his son to be sad they were going to be separated again—to admit that he wanted to stay with him and didn’t want to go back to his mom—but the other part of him just wanted Chase to be happy no matter who he was with.
The situation fucking sucked.
The doors
dinged open and Max paused. He looked at Chase again, wishing he could just close the doors, go back to the truck, and take him back home. He hated this. Absolutely hated it.
Taking a silent breath, he stepped into the hallway and hung a right for the corner suite. He knocked on the door but knew Kate had already been alerted about his arrival, so she answered the door within five seconds.
The fire in her eyes was aimed directly at Max, but her smile and excitement went to Chase. “There’s my baby! Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much!” She took him right out of Max’s arms and squeezed him tight, leaving the door open behind her. “Let’s pick out your Halloween costumes for the weekend…”
Max entered and set Chase’s backpack on the floor.
“I’ll see you soon, okay buddy?” he asked across the room.
Chase only smiled, but that could have been because his mom was kissing all over him and giving him so much attention. Max had no idea if Kate’s actions were real or not. He was always very careful to not ask his son questions about her. He never wanted him to be in the middle of the mess. But he did have a right to know if Chase was happy and well cared for. His answers always seemed to imply that he was, but other times it seemed like he was too shy to talk about it.
Closing the door behind him, Max left Chase with his mom. He didn’t remember getting back in the elevator or pulling the truck out of the parking garage, but somehow he was already on the road heading west. It was the worst feeling in the world. He not only felt empty, but he felt completely defeated. It was like doing everything you possibly could to make something work while knowing it wasn’t going to do any good.
It was a helpless feeling.
He took Santa Monica Boulevard all the way to Ocean Avenue and made a right. One privilege most people took for granted was the ability to drive their selves whenever and wherever they wanted. It was a luxury Max had always tried to give himself, even if it wasn’t such a smart idea. Heavily tinted windows were definitely a saving grace; a hat with sunglasses was a good back up plan; and a vehicle that wasn’t an Italian import was usually a plus, which was why his truck was a good choice. He never made eye contact with any other drivers, and he’d only roll down his window if there wasn’t a chance of passing traffic staring at him.