“I’m sorry,” she said. Unable to meet their eyes, she stared at the floor instead. “I wasn’t expecting any of this to happen. If I had known…” What would she have done differently? Nothing. She would do anything to protect her parents from the saboteur. And now that she’d had the chance to calm down and think, she realized that she didn’t regret meeting Cyrus. If they’d never met, she’d never have been able to help him protect the ship. They’d accomplished more together than they could have done alone.
Even if he’d lied to her about who—what—he really was.
Her father cleared his throat. “If Cyrus and the Faceless man had never come on board the ship and everything had gone according to your plan, when would you have come out of hiding?” he asked. “When we reached the uncharted lands?” Stella couldn’t tell by his tone what he was feeling. Her father was always the hardest person in the family to read.
She nodded. “I didn’t want to take the chance that the ship might turn around to take me back,” she said.
“What if the ship had landed in an area with bandits or slavers?” her father continued, his voice rising slightly. “What if the ship had been captured and the crew taken captive?”
Stella didn’t have answers, and worse, she knew all three of them were thinking the same thing—that it might still happen, and with the Faceless man on board waiting to strike, the journey was already much more dangerous than any of them had expected. “At least we would be together,” Stella said, “and I would know what had happened to you. I couldn’t stand it if you…if you both just didn’t come home.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Stella caught her mother bowing her head, rubbing her temple with two fingers. “Mom, please say something,” she begged.
But it was a long moment of painful silence before Stella got an answer. “I was so sure,” her mother said, shaking her head. “The day we left, I was certain you were going to be all right. You were sad and worried, of course—we all were. But you seemed so strong too, so brave, and it made me feel better than I had in weeks. I told myself that everything would be fine. It never once crossed my mind that you might have been planning something like this.”
Stella wanted to sink into the floor, to fall onto a cloud and float away. “I was only brave because I knew it wasn’t really goodbye,” she whispered.
“You were worried for our safety?” her father asked, leaning forward so Stella would turn to look at him.
“Yes…I mean I was, but there’s more.” What was she trying to say? Stella felt lost. Why couldn’t they just yell at her? Why did they have to try so hard to understand? She didn’t want to explain it, to look inside herself. All she wanted to do was shut her eyes and hide.
“Please, just be angry,” she said, reaching out to her mother. She stopped shy of touching her arm and drew back. “You deserve to be angry, to shout and throw things and tell me how stupidly I’ve acted.”
But her pleas didn’t do any good. Both her parents remained stubbornly calm. “You’ve been many things, Stella,” her father said. “You’ve lied, behaved recklessly and irresponsibly—but you’re not stupid. And you’ve also been courageous and resourceful, and proved more than capable of handling yourself in a crisis. Yours and Cyrus’s actions saved the Iron Glory and everyone on board, even if we’re the only ones who realize it.” He glanced at his wife. “We haven’t forgotten that, have we?”
“No, we haven’t,” her mother agreed. “When we get home, we’ll need to have a long talk about all this, the lies you told, and the worry and hurt you’ve put us—not to mention your grandparents—through, but for now…I wish I could be angry with you, Stella. Anger would be so much easier, but I’m just too afraid of what’s going to happen next.” She looked at Stella’s injured hand as she spoke. “I’m terrified that I’ll be so wrapped up worrying about your safety that I won’t be able to do my duty to this ship and the people on it. I wanted to drop everything when I saw you in that security office. I forgot all about the crew and their needs after the storm, because all I could think about was that you were here, and you were in danger. That Faceless man might have killed you, and it would have destroyed me.”
Shouting was nothing compared to this. If her mother had slapped her, it wouldn’t have hurt as much.
“I’m sorry,” Stella said, knowing it wasn’t enough. “I was just so afraid.” Her voice dropped to a whisper.
“There was always the risk that something might happen to us,” her father said. “But you—”
“No, that wasn’t all,” Stella interrupted, digging her fingernails into her palms. She had to tell them. She owed them this. “Part of me was afraid that everything would work out fine, that it would be an amazing expedition, the trip of a lifetime.”
That stunned them silent for a moment, but her mother recovered first. “So you wanted the expedition to fail?” she asked, bewildered. “Why, Stella?”
“Because the expedition means that things are changing,” Stella said. “The world is so much bigger than I thought it was, and that’s exciting and wonderful, but…maybe I don’t want everything to change. What if the people and places you find in the uncharted lands are more exciting than our life back home?”
Stella knew how important her parents’ work was to them, their passion for making new discoveries. No matter how much they loved Noveen, it couldn’t compete with the wonders of the uncharted lands. If, despite everything, this mission succeeded, King Aron would likely send many more expeditions over the mountains, and of course, he’d order her parents to be a part of them. He had to have the best. They’d be gone weeks, then months, at a time. Longer and longer periods of them slipping away, until one day her parents wouldn’t be a part of her life anymore. Then where would she be?
“Oh, honey.” Her mother reached out and cupped Stella’s face in her hands. “Listen to me. There is nothing in the uncharted lands that would make us want to give up the life we’ve built with you,” she said.
“You’re our whole world, Stella,” her father said, his voice rough. He leaned over and laid a hand on her arm. “Don’t you know that?”
Stella wanted to believe them. She really did. With her parents here beside her, she felt safe, as if all the crucial pieces of herself were in place. But the doubt lingered, a voice in her head whispering that the uncharted lands would lure them away, take them places she couldn’t follow.
“How can you be sure?” Stella asked. “What if, once you’ve seen—”
“Nothing we see is as important as you are to us, Stella,” her father said. “Yes, the world is changing, and we can’t ignore that. But just because we can’t go back to the way things were doesn’t mean that we’ll lose what we’ve built as a family.”
“Your father’s right.” Her mother leaned forward, brushing strands of hair out of Stella’s eyes. “And it’s not just the geography of the world that’s different now. We’ve all been changed—by the Iron War, by the peace we’re trying to forge between Merrow and Dragonfly, and by these new adventures, and that can be frightening, not knowing what the future holds. There are so many new people to meet and to try to understand. The way you’re trying to understand Cyrus.”
Cyrus.
It was as if her mother’s words were a spell, or maybe they broke the spell, but suddenly all of Stella’s confused, painful feelings came rushing in at her. The threat of death, the fear of losing her family, and the discovery of what Cyrus was—it was all too much. She reached out, and her mother enfolded her in a hug just as Stella burst into tears.
She let it all out. All the worry and fear that had been knotted in her chest ever since she found out her parents would be going on the expedition without her. Harder to manage was the regret over what had happened between her and Cyrus. Yes, he had lied to her, but Stella had hurt him in return.
Cyrus’s face flashed in Stella’s mind, followed immediately by the image of the machine parts under his skin. Were his parents like him—a hybrid of
human and machine? She supposed they must be. Either way, they were waiting for him right now, in the uncharted lands. Or did they believe he was dead, since he didn’t return with the rest of his people when he was supposed to?
We have feelings, hopes, fears, dreams.
And we can die.
That was what Cyrus had told her.
No matter what lies beneath their skin, if they felt even half what Stella did as she sat there with her parents, then she could only imagine the pain and panic Cyrus’s family were going through, thinking their son was lost forever. She and Cyrus were so much more alike than Stella had ever realized.
Stella lifted her head from her mother’s shoulder. She’d been shocked before, her mind reeling over the idea that Cyrus could be both a person and a machine, but she should have thought it through. He was right. Stella’s people had come on this expedition hoping to make new discoveries in the uncharted lands. Well, Cyrus was without a doubt the biggest discovery of her life, and what had she done? She’d run away, unable to accept him, let alone allow that they might become friends.
She had to make things right. Even if he didn’t want to be her friend now, she owed Cyrus her life, her parents’ lives, and the rest of the crew’s. The Iron Glory would be lost without his protection. She had to do whatever she could to help him get home.
She wiped her tears. “Cyrus is…” How could she explain it to her parents? “When I first met him,” she said, remembering that day in the cargo bay, “I thought he was the most arrogant, annoying boy, only thinking about himself. Oh, I just wanted to toss him out into the clouds.”
“Sounds like a promising start,” her father said with a chuckle, while her mother just smiled knowingly.
“But that’s just what he wants you to think,” Stella went on. “When he thinks no one’s looking, he changes. He’s…sad and lost.” She reached out to squeeze her mother’s hand. “He just wants to get home to his family, but now he’s a prisoner, and there’s no way for me to help him.”
“We’ll find a way,” her mother said firmly. “Give it some time, and we’ll talk to the captain. For now, I think you need rest.” She added, “In a real bed, for a change.”
But they stayed in the medical bay for a while longer, talking and just being in one another’s presence. Stella had missed them so much. Eventually, though, her eyelids drooped, and her head got so heavy she could barely hold it up.
Her father took her to their quarters and brought in another cot for her to sleep on. When Stella lay down, she still found herself fighting sleep, worrying about Cyrus and the Faceless man. She also thought of her and Cyrus’s belongings, abandoned down in the cargo bay. Would she have a chance to retrieve them before one of the crew—or worse, the Faceless man—found the hiding place?
Her father seemed to sense her restlessness. “We’ll wake you if anything happens,” he promised her. His voice was warm and soothing and brought with it all the comfort and meaning of home.
His words were the last thing Stella heard before she fell into an exhausted slumber.
The next day, Stella kept busy helping her parents in the medical bay and keeping watch for the Faceless man around every corner. She wasn’t allowed to see Cyrus, but Captain Keeler and First Officer Drea came by to question her about her activities on the ship and her time with him. Stella answered them as honestly as she could without betraying Cyrus’s secrets or revealing his identity.
They never rebuked her for stowing away on board the ship, although Stella suspected there might have been conversations with her parents about it in private. This brought on a fresh wave of guilt at the idea of her mother and father being reprimanded on her behalf.
Stella tried to convince the captain that Cyrus was innocent, that the real threat was still out there, but she could see by the look in his eyes that he didn’t believe her.
“The boy is a very good liar,” the captain said at one point. “Maybe you saw a shadow in the storm, and he convinced you that someone was coming after you.”
Sure, Stella thought, biting her tongue. A shadow carrying a glowing rod that shot sparks at the tip. That must have been it. But she couldn’t say that out loud. Wherever the Faceless man had gone, he’d taken the weapon with him, so she had no proof of its existence. The blister on her hand could have been explained by any number of things, considering she’d been up in the crow’s nest all through the storm.
“We’ve searched the ship thoroughly,” the captain went on. “We even found your camp in the cargo bay. If there were someone else hiding on board, we would have found him by now.”
He spoke to her as if she were a small child. Stella had to grit her teeth to keep from screaming in frustration. They would never find the real culprit, not when he could change his face to look like whomever he wanted. If only she could tell them that. But she knew they would never believe such a far-fetched story.
As if sensing Stella’s frustration, Drea spoke, her voice a soothing echo in Stella’s mind. “Don’t fret, my dear,” she said. “It’s not just you the boy’s deceived. He’s hiding secrets, but I promise you, we’ll do everything in our power to keep the ship safe.”
So Stella could do nothing but wait as the Iron Glory drew closer and closer to the uncharted lands. The navigator predicted that soon they would leave the mountains behind completely and could start looking for a place to land and begin exploring.
That night, Stella lay in her cot in her parents’ room, alone. Her mother and father were staying late in the medical bay, preparing for when the ship landed and the expedition moved outdoors. Shifting onto her side, she leaned over and shoved her hand beneath the mattress, where she’d hidden the invisibility suit. She kept it near her at all times and was determined to keep it out of the Faceless man’s reach.
Their journey was getting closer and closer to being over, yet there’d been no more signs of the Faceless man, no more instances of sabotage. Had he given up trying to crash the ship? That seemed too much to hope for. Maybe he really had hurt himself too badly in the fall from the crow’s nest to do any more damage.
As she lay in the dark, brooding, a strange, faint sound reached Stella’s ears. If the room hadn’t been empty and quiet, she might not have heard it at all. It was soft and repetitive, a click-whir-click noise…like some small machine running nearby, or maybe an echo coming up from the engine room.
Click…whir…click.
Closer now.
Stella sat up, her eyes drawn to the crack of light shining beneath the door. But the sound wasn’t coming from the hallway, it was…
Inside the room.
Above her.
She jerked her head up, and there it was, barely visible in the dim light—a small insect flying unsteadily toward her, bumping against the ceiling as it went.
Now, that was odd. Stella got out of bed and moved to stand underneath the thing to get a better look at it. She hadn’t seen any insects on board the ship. It was too cold and the ship was flying too high, but she supposed that didn’t mean there weren’t any. This little one could have stowed away at the same time she did.
You’re far away from home now, Stella thought with a pang of sympathy.
Suddenly, the insect stopped bumping the ceiling, hovered in the air for a moment, and then zipped down, swooping right in front of Stella’s face.
Stella jumped back in surprise, but the insect followed her, hovering persistently near the bridge of her nose. She turned her head from side to side, bobbed up and down, but every time she moved, so did the little bug.
Click…whir…click.
Surely it couldn’t…see her?
She squinted at the insect and realized it was a beetle. Its wings were coppery red, just like the little figure she’d seen in Cyrus’s knapsack that day she’d knocked him out with the powder.
Stella’s mouth fell open in shock. It wasn’t like the beetle—it was the same beetle! But that hadn’t been a real insect. She could have sworn it was just a
statue or a toy or…something.
Or a machine, a little voice inside Stella’s head whispered.
The hairs on her neck and arms prickled. Cautiously, Stella raised her hands and cupped them beneath the hovering beetle. Swiftly, it folded its wings up and dropped onto her palm. The whirring sound cut off, and the antennae jutting from its tiny head quivered as if to say, Well, it’s about time.
Stella stared at the thing. Was it an insect-machine hybrid, like Cyrus? Could it communicate? She leaned in close to whisper to the beetle.
“Can you understand me?” she asked, her warm breath making the beetle’s antennae dance.
The beetle shifted in her palm, rotating until its head was facing away from Stella. Then it lifted and spread its wings as if it was going to fly off.
“Oh, please don’t go,” Stella said.
But the beetle wasn’t taking off. Instead, it broke the silence by emitting a high-pitched whine from its abdomen. After a second or two, the sound faded, replaced by a voice.
“Stella?” the voice asked. It was low and scratchy, echoing in the quiet room.
Stella gasped. That was Cyrus’s voice, coming from inside the beetle.
“Stella, I don’t know if you’ll get this message—this is the first time they’ve left me alone long enough to record it—but you have to listen to me.” He sounded upset. “I know you’re mad at me, and you’ve got reason to be, but you have to forget about that and do something about the Faceless man.
“I heard from the other security officers that the ship is almost out of the mountains. I don’t know why the Faceless man is trying to crash the ship, but it’s obvious he doesn’t want the expedition to reach the uncharted lands. He’s going to try again, Stella, and I can’t do anything to stop it or protect the ship while I’m locked up in here. It’s up to you, but there’s something you need to know. It’s true the Faceless man can make himself look like anyone he wants, but there are limits to his powers. I met a few of the Faceless ones during the expedition, and no matter how hard they try, there’s always something, some detail about their appearance they can’t alter. Now, think back. You’ve seen the Faceless man change. You might have seen that detail without realizing it. You can use that to catch him, Stella.”
The Quest to the Uncharted Lands Page 11