by Nicky Fox
We somehow make our way back into his bed. We don’t have sex, just caress and touch each other’s bodies. It’s unexpected just to touch. He traces my nose and eyebrows, like he’s memorizing my face. I run my fingertips over his lip and his scruffy chin.
“She broke up with me on my birthday,” Jake mumbles under my finger. I hold my breath and remove my hand from his face.
“Who?” I know exactly who, Melissa. I want him to tell me more about it. Not even Lenora really knows what happened to Jake. He seems more open to talk to me about it now. I don’t know what kind of territory this is, but I’m going to tread carefully.
“Melissa. I ditched class early that day to be with her. I thought she might surprise me with something for my birthday, and she did.” He sighs and I’m suddenly not sure I want to hear this story. I can see heartbreak in the turn of his lips, the stiffness of his eyebrows. His hands grip my arms a little tighter, as if he doesn’t want me to go. I have no idea what Jake’s going to tell me. I can see in his eyes it’s important to him. I nod my head in understanding and he continues.
“I rushed up the stairs of our humble apartment. I saw her car out in the parking lot, so I knew she was home. We lived together for over a year. I knew her schedule and she knew mine. We met when we were freshman in a science class. We were lab partners. I was pretty good at science and Melissa was horrible. We were a good fit in that class. She made me feel important and soon we were meeting up to do more than study. It was very organic, easy. There were no problems, arguments, nothing. I never expected when I unlocked the door to our apartment to find what I did. I was totally blindsided.” Jake sighs and rubs my shoulder.
“Her bags were packed by the front door. I don’t know if she was planning on just leaving without a goodbye or if she was waiting for me to get home. We never got to that part of the discussion. For a moment, I thought we might be going on a getaway for my birthday. Then I remembered that I had tests coming up that could not be made up. I called out to her and she told me she was in the kitchen. I smiled at her when I walked in, expecting some sort of surprise.
“She didn’t look happy. If anything, she seemed worried and anxious. I don’t know how I knew, but I could tell she was itching to get away from me, from our apartment.”
I rub Jake’s chest in reassurance for him to continue. He stares ahead as though he’s reliving the whole situation. I didn’t want to bring him pain on his birthday and now he’s recounting a hurtful experience just so that I can understand him better. It’s disheartening. I don’t want to look into what this conversation could mean for us going forward, but I can’t help but wonder if this is a new step to a potential relationship in the future. He holds the hand I’ve been rubbing on his chest and kisses it.
“She was drinking some water near the sink and looking everywhere except at me. I had a tight feeling in my gut that something extremely bad was about to happen. I just didn’t know how horrible it was going to be.
“Melissa said we needed to talk and she led me into our living room to sit down. She fiddled around with her drink for a while and then finally everything came tumbling out.”
“What? What did she say?” I’m on pins and needles. I have no idea what this woman could have done besides cheat on him. Either way I know it changed him forever.
“She said she was HIV positive.”
WOW. I blink my eyes, unsure I heard him correctly.
Jake continues. “I immediately stood up and moved away from her. I’d just had a physical done two weeks before and knew I was clean. We were exclusive and always used protection. When we first started dating we were responsible and we got tested for STD’s. We were both clean. So, not only could she have given this to me, she had to have been cheating on me as well. Melissa said she knew for a couple of months and didn’t know how to tell me.”
“Oh my God, Jake. I can’t believe that. Who would do that, I mean, endanger someone they were supposed to love and care for? There’s no excuse.” I shake my head and lean on his shoulder. He’s quiet for a moment.
“Needless to say, my trust was completely broken that day. I honestly haven’t been able to look at a woman the same way again. I can’t trust. I don’t want to be in a relationship. I just can’t see giving myself completely to anyone ever again. I’m telling you this so you’ll understand why I can’t do relationships.”
“I understand.” I lower my head so Jake can’t see my disappointment. I completely understand where he’s coming from now. I would’ve had a hard time trusting anyone after that as well. “Did she tell you why or . . .” I leave the rest of my question in the air. I don’t know what else to say.
“She had been using me in part for grades, I think. I don’t know. We never argued. Not even when she told me all that. I was stunned. I went to the window, dismissing her. She grabbed her things and left. I never heard from her again.”
Jake turns his face away from me as if he doesn’t want me to see him vulnerable. It makes me wrap my arms around him even more.
“I got tested the next day just to be sure and I was clean. Thank God we used protection every time. I promised myself that I wouldn’t trust anyone that solidly. It shook me to my core, Evie. I’m just not able to give more than this, ever.”
I nod my head in resignation. This is all he can give. Maybe it would be enough for me? I need to concentrate on work and if I had someone I could fall back on for sexy time, then we would both have exactly what we need. I think it could work. I do care for him. I don’t know, maybe with time he could trust me? If not, this is enough for now.
I give Jake a rueful smile. “I think what we have now is perfect. I think it’ll work for me. Do you think this arrangement we have will continue to work for you?” I wait on baited breath. Maybe this was his way of saying he couldn’t do this anymore. Maybe this is him saying goodbye. I push away from Jake, so I can see his face. He looks torn at first and then seems to come to a conclusion.
“Yes, I think this will work. As long as we’re only seeing each other. That’s something I can’t and won’t negotiate on.” I don’t blame him.
“I completely agree.” I snuggle into his chest and feel his hand run up my side as he releases a big sigh. Jake’s hand moves lower and lower until he’s cupping me at my core. “Are you wanting another present, Mr. Westley?”
“Yes, I haven’t had my fill yet.” He gives me the brightest smile and soon I’m flipped over and his hot firm body is on top of me.
Yes. I begin to sing “Happy Birthday” in a Marilyn Monroe voice inserted with Mr. Westley instead of Mr. President. Jake eats it up. I feel his dick graze my buttocks. He rubs it back and forth between my cheeks. I raise my ass up to tease him. He spanks me quickly on both cheeks and then kisses them all better.
“Fuck, I don’t know what it is about you, Evie, but you get me harder than fucking granite. I want you so bad right now.”
I look over my shoulder and smirk. “Get to it, birthday boy. I’m all yours.” I waggle my ass in the air and that’s all this alpha needs to command my body.
“Hold on to the sheets, Evie. This is going to be hard.” He gives me one more smack on the ass and before I can say go, Jake has a condom on and is pushing inside me.
11
I’m back into work the following Monday after a sex filled weekend with Jake. We kept things simple. Takeout or simple meals at his apartment and then sex on every surface of his loft. It was glorious. He’s so creative. I was definitely educated on some new positions as well as surfaces you can fuck on. I have a huge smile on my face all day, until my boss Trent beckons me to his office later that afternoon.
I’m guessing this has to do with my work with the Cubin family. I know they liked a lot of the ideas I presented to them this morning. They seemed very happy with the look, textures and colors I had in mind. We should be done with their space this week. Honestly, they were so easy to work with, they made it a walk in the park. I’ve had some homeowners that didn�
�t know at all what they wanted, just that they didn’t like any of my ideas. Then, I had others that would okay something only to go back on the decision a week later. Don’t even get me started on creative differences. Luckily, I’m very good at my job and am able to work with even the most unagreeable clients.
“Take a seat, Evie.” Trent motions to the chair beside the front of his desk. He happens to be sitting next to my seat. He’s told me in the past he doesn’t feel like sitting on the other side of the desk away from coworkers. It gives off a cohesive vibe. Although, I’ve never seen him sit next to anyone else at his desk. It makes me uncomfortable. I slyly scoot my chair away from his and lean away from his body. Trent is trying his hardest to lean toward my body without falling over me. I wish I didn’t have to deal with this crap. I have shit to design. I don’t need to worry about my boss trying to get into my panties.
His light brown eyes look me over. My boss is sitting next to me checking me out. I wait patiently for him to get his fill.
“The partners and I have been talking and we feel you need to scale back on your workload. You’ve got this huge account with the Cubin family and we feel you might be in a little over your head.
Rage. White, hot rage courses through my veins. I know exactly what he’s trying to do. Trent’s trying to keep me under his thumb so I can’t move up in the company. It’s only now become apparent that I can’t move up in this company, unless I sleep with my boss. He’s limiting my abilities and God knows what he’s telling the other partners and my colleagues. Usually, I feel my work speaks for itself, but I could see him taking credit for my ideas. I’m out of options. I need to finish this job and give my two weeks. This can’t continue. I can’t keep thwarting his advances at every turn.
“Mr. Calloway, I’m not going to fight for my job, because I can see it’s useless. I’m not interested in you in that way and I’d never sleep my way to the top. I have morals and too much talent for that. You can consider this my two-week’s notice.”
I stand up and Trent grabs my arm. I look at where he’s touching me. His secretary, Becky is out for lunch and no one is really around this wing of the floor. It makes me nervous. I’ve taken a few self-defense classes since my ex-boyfriend Jerry, but Trent has a lot of weight he can use against me. He rises up out of his chair. He’s a lot taller than me as well. I look to the exit but he swiftly blocks my way. Thankfully, the office door is still open. I still feel trapped though.
“I think you’ve gotten the wrong idea, Evie. We feel you have some more training you need to go through before you’re promoted to the level of Senior Designer.” He looks like a snake. He’s even wearing a god-awful green suit. I shake my head. I’m not falling for his shit.
“You mean, you don’t want to promote me because you haven’t gotten in my pants. Let me enlighten you, Mr. Calloway. You never will.” I’m fuming, but try to keep it under control. If this escalates, it could go bad very quickly for me. I don’t know what he’s capable of. This is getting heated and I can tell in his eyes he’s pissed. People do crazy shit when they don’t get their way when they’re in a position of power. Case in point, my ex-boyfriend. I don’t know if Trent is capable of striking me. I wouldn’t put it past him to rape me though. Especially with the look he’s giving me right now; it’s downright menacing. His hand is still on my arm rubbing it. It feels like pins and needles scraping against my exposed skin.
“I think we can come to some sort of agreement here where we’re both happy, Evie.” He leans down to take what he wants, a kiss. My hand goes back automatically and swiftly slaps Trent across his face. He grabs my wrist. Now, I’m really frightened. I feel my eyes starting to water. It makes me angry that this man can make me feel helpless and vulnerable. I try and wrench my wrist from his grasp to no avail.
“Let go of me.” I struggle to pull away, but his clasp on me doesn’t waver.
“What the fuck are you doing?” My savior’s voice gives me instant relief. Trent immediately releases me. I fall back a few steps closer to my knight in shining armor. I rub my arm and wrist, while Trent fumbles.
“We were just discussing Evie’s position in the company. Isn’t that right, Evie?” He’s drowning. Trent knows he’s been caught. I shake my head and go to Jake’s side. His arm is around me instantly. Jake begins to move me behind him. My breath hitches. I know Jake wants to beat the crap out of my boss. I want to too, but knowing Trent, he’ll try and spin it and make it sound like he was attacked by a jealous boyfriend.
I just want to leave this place. I pull on Jake’s jacket. “Please.” It comes out as a sob. Jake spins around and looks over my face. My eyes water and he can tell I’m barely keeping it together. Jake nods once in understanding and turns back to confront Trent. He points at my boss with a fury like I’ve never seen.
“If you ever come near her again, you’ll be found on the ground with broken bones. If you contact her at all, I’ll make sure after I’m done with you, you’ll need intense physical therapy. Do I make myself clear?” His voice is eerily soft. His clenched jaw gives away his anger.
Trent is smart. He doesn’t say a word and nods his head. He looks like prey in the path of a predator. I don’t doubt any of Jake’s threats either. He looks like he’s barely keeping his wrath under control. Jake’s shoulders are rising up and down with his rage. I touch his back and he stills.
In a smooth as silk voice Jake says, “You’re lucky she just wants to leave. Otherwise, you’d be a bloody lump of limbs on the floor. If I hear of you doing any of this shit to anyone else, I’ll come back for you.” With that, Jake turns back to me and holds out his hand. It’s amazing how scared I was in this room just a few moments ago, and now I feel as protected as a bear cub. I place my shaky hand in his and Jake leads me out of the building.
It isn’t until he’s opening the car door that I finally break down and sob, big chest heaving sobs. I can only say one word. “Jake.” His arms encompass me and I clutch him to anchor me. We stand by his car in an embrace.
“Shhh, it’s okay. Do you want me to go back in there and beat his ass? I will.”
He makes me smile. I shake my head against his chest. I feel Jake rain down kisses on my head.
“It’s okay, baby. It’s over. You don’t have to see that douche ever again.”
It strikes me right away that he called me baby. I look up into his eyes and reach for his lips. He obliges and kisses me sweetly, slowly, and with a softness I didn’t know he was capable of. Jake’s usually all hard edges and sex on legs. I’ve never seen his compassionate side. It makes me fall even more for him. I deepen our kiss. I want him. I need his touch, his lips, and the safety I feel in his arms right now. I want more.
He breaks away from our runaway kiss. “We should get out of here. If I see that bastard again, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself back from pummeling his face in.”
I slide into the passenger seat and he closes my door.
The whole drive back to Jake’s apartment I’m engrossed in my thoughts. It’s quiet in the car, but my thoughts are screaming in my head. How could this happen? Trent didn’t seem like the type of guy that would force himself on someone. I don’t doubt him harassing and flirting with every female in the office, but this went further than I thought possible. When I saw that look in my boss’ eye, I knew. If I didn’t get out of there I might be raped. I shudder to think what could’ve happened if Jake hadn’t appeared like a white knight.
“What were you doing at my office, anyway?” I turn and look at him for the first time since I got in the car. Jake is gripping the steering wheel, no doubt still pissed about what he walked in on. I still don’t know how he held back. Jake looked like a bull ready to charge. I’m sure this entire ride he’s been thinking of all the ways he would beat the shit out of my boss.
“I was going to ask you out to a late lunch. I heard your voice down the hall and followed it. Then, I heard you say, ‘let go of me,’ and I charged in. I can’t believe
that piece of shit.”
Trying to play it off, I mistakenly say, “That’s nothing. You should’ve seen what my ex-boyfriend did to me.” I close my eyes. I don’t want to see his reaction to that statement. I don’t know what came over me. I never talk about this with anyone. It’s something I wanted to bury deep down. It seems I vomited it up. Shit.
Jake pulls over in a drugstore parking lot and skids to a stop. “What!?”
I was trying to deflect the conversation. That’s what I do. I shove it all under the rug, but with Jake I know that’s not possible. I open my eyes and see his face in surprised horror.
“What the fuck did your ex do to you, Evie?”
Fuck. I hate this. I know I seem so weak and pathetic. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jake. Ever.” I look down to the floor mats.
“What the hell, Evie? I told you what happened with Melissa and me. I’ve never told anyone that. You can’t tell me what your ex did to you? What’s his name?”
I decide to give him this small bit of information. Maybe, that will placate him. “Jerry. I didn’t ask you to tell me anything about your ex, Jake. I don’t want to talk about it. It was a dark time in my life that I’d rather forget.” I wring my hands in front of me. This feeling right now is exactly why I don’t want to talk about this, ever. I don’t want to go back there, to feel all this again; sorrow, broken, and worthless.
Jake makes a U-turn in the parking lot and heads the opposite direction of his apartment.
“Where are we going?”
He’s mad. Jake’s not looking at me, just straight ahead at the road. That’s just too bad. I don’t want to share my tale of woe with anyone. Not even Lenora knows what Jerry did to me. I’m sure she suspects, but I never want to revisit it again. I went to a counselor after the breakup and it didn’t help. If anything, it made it worse. I had nightmares for months. They didn’t stop until I ceased going.