I laughed at that. “That sounds perfect. I’d love to come over. And you don’t have to worry about entertaining me, either. I like being around you, Grey. It’s enough.”
He smiled, so bashful but somehow so perfect, and we kept on walking.
“Of course,” he said, “there’s also always that romance novel that you were enjoying so much earlier at my house,” he said, his voice teasing.
“Yup. I’ll admit it freely. I did love it, and I’m not afraid to say it.”
When we got back to his house I spent a good few minutes on the floor, petting Chewy and letting her get her energy out, before plopping down on Grey’s couch.
“This is so luxurious,” I said, “I don’t even have a couch yet. It’s just my bed in the room.”
“Clearly I live a lavish life,” Grey said. He paused for a moment, eyeing me, and then seemed to come to a decision, coming to sit right next to me on the couch. He brought his hand to mine, lacing our fingers together, and gently brought the back of my hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to it.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do this in public,” he said, low and gentle. I couldn’t look away from his eyes, and couldn’t begin to fathom how much I wanted him.
I shook my head gently. “Worth the wait,” I said, my voice soft. He brought his other hand to my cheek, tracing his fingertips against my jaw, and then leaned in toward me. He kissed me, just as soft and sweet against my lips as he’d been on the back of my hand. He tasted like coffee and a hint of maple syrup, sweet and earthy. I kissed him back, slow and unhurried, in the peaceful silence of his living room.
When he broke away he kept his hand in mine, and rested his head on my shoulder, with a long exhale.
“I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he said.
“Hm?”
“Just… you know. You’re famous and incredible, and I’m just a kid from a small town who hasn’t done much yet.”
“Quit saying stuff like that. You do a lot, Grey. You’re impressive in your own right.”
We sat like that for a while, his hand in mine, and I stroked the back of his palm with my thumb. I didn’t feel any pressure to take it further, just enjoying the simple touch and proximity to him, bathed in the soft pale light coming through the window.
Eventually he went over to the bookshelf and selected at least ten different DVDs, laying them all out on the floor in front of me. He described each one, with the intention of trying to get me to choose one, but he ended up picking his favorite.
He put on the old black and white movie that I never quite caught the name of. It consisted of a heroine who’d been scorned by her ex-lover, and her journey to finding second chance love with her high school sweetheart. While we watched, occasionally I stole glances at Grey, catching him rapt with attention, his eyes full and wide during the dramatic sweeps. He loved it, and seemed transfixed by every minute of it, even though I was fully aware he’d probably watched the movie countless times.
As we watched I dragged my hand against his back, massaging him in a much less intense way than I had the other night. I just wanted to feel him against me, and make him feel good. There wasn’t much else I would have asked for in that moment.
The afternoon pressed on and by the end of the movie Grey had fallen asleep against me. Seeing him there made my heart swell, and I let him sleep as I picked up the romance novel again, reading it while he breathed lightly against me on the couch.
Once, as I turned a page in the novel, he stirred slightly in his sleep and I saw a tiny smile playing on his face. He was still clearly asleep, but I heard him mumble, as if in a dream: “…make me so happy.”
In the evening Grey informed me that he could cook a “mean little pasta dish,” and he did, a great one with cream and corn and basil, and we ate in his kitchen, going over the finer points of the romance novel I was now thoroughly engrossed in.
I helped him clean up afterward, and as I handed him the last dish to dry I watched him, realizing how much I was enjoying this quiet, simple night. Even just cleaning up with Grey felt somehow better, like anything could be improved if I just did it by his side.
He put the final dish onto the shelf and then turned to me with a small smile.
“Well, we’ve reached the time of night when I’d usually go out in the back yard,” he said.
I nodded. “And when I’d see you from my kitchen.”
He laughed a little, his lashes pointed toward the floor. “Let’s go take Chewy for a walk?” he said. “Unless you need to get home….”
“You know I’d rather spend time with you and Chewy than go back to my empty house,” I said, already making my way toward the door where I knew Chewy’s leash was hanging. As I was reaching to grab it, I felt Grey’s hands slide over the small of my back, trailing along my sides until he had embraced me fully from behind.
I stopped for a moment, closing my eyes and leaning back into his arms. “Mmm,” I mumbled, “That feels nice.”
“It does,” he said, then pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. His hands reached just slightly under the hem of my shirt, his fingers dragging lightly over my hips. “I’m having such a stupidly good night. And honestly I’m kind of amazed that’s even possible, after the news I got about Freezy Sweet earlier.”
I nodded then turned slowly in his arms, inching around to face him. I put my hand to the side of his face, just stroking him there for a moment, marveling at how clear and relaxed his gaze was, like he was finally comfortable with showing me the real him.
“Your eyes are beautiful, you know,” I said softly, bringing my hand to the back of his neck.
A faint pink streak appeared across his cheeks. “Aw, shucks, Adam,” he said. “Keep giving me those compliments and you might just get lucky.”
I laughed quietly. “Don’t care if I do or not, I’m just happy to be hanging with you.”
I bent and pressed my lips to his, unhurried, just wanting to feel him against me, so soft and close. I felt like I could spend forever there, just kissing him, his tongue just lightly brushing into my mouth. I was centered. Completely content.
And if it weren’t for Chewy making a little whining sound and scratching at the door to leave, I would have been fine just staying there in Grey’s arms indefinitely.
We started down the block, Chewy on the leash ahead of us sniffing out patches of grass.
The sun had dipped below the trees, casting everything in a cool darkness, but the light foggy mist covered everything in a hazy blanket. Everything still felt alive, like the evening was just waking up. Mist moved in calm waves near the glow of each streetlamp.
“This place is like a damn fairy tale,” I said. “I mean, do you hear that?” The sound of the night had just begun to awaken: crickets, the occasional frog, and I swore, even an owl.
As we walked, the only other sound was the soft jangle of metal on Chewy’s collar as she ran ahead of us.
“You see that building coming up on the left?” Grey said, pointing forward. “That was where I went to elementary school. You think I’m nerdy now, you should have seen me back then.”
“Oh yeah? You were nerdy? I would never have guessed,” I joked, giving him a side-glance.
“Hey!” he said, giving me a slap on the shoulder. “You’re the one who said you love reading fantasy novels, aren’t you?”
“I love them, and I’m not at all afraid to admit it.”
“Doesn’t surprise me.”
“What?”
“That you’re not afraid to admit it. I mean… you’re confident about pretty much everything, it seems like. I envy that.”
I turned that thought over in my head a little. “I wasn’t always like that,” I said, after a moment. We rounded a corner and kept walking down a block that was lined with even more evergreens than our own street.
“Really? It’s hard to imagine you not being confident. It seems like you were even in the 5*Star days.”
I considered that, tr
ying to remember how I’d even felt back then. “It took effort. I really had to try not to care what people thought of me. I mean, back then there weren’t any major boy bands with an openly gay member. Some TV shows we were on didn’t even want me to bring it up.”
“God, really?” Grey said.
I nodded. “So, yeah. It was either be confident, or feel horrible all the time. And even though it was scary as hell, I chose to try to be confident. And after a while it sort of… became real. At this point in my life I really can say I like myself. I wouldn’t change anything about me.”
Grey slowed to a stop, looking at me, and then slowly started to walk again. “Wow,” he said. “That is… a really admirable thing.”
“Don’t tell me you’d wanna change things about yourself?” I asked him. I glanced around, ensuring that nobody else was on the block, then cautiously put my hand in his, lightly holding his free hand as we walked down the sidewalk. He seemed hesitant at first but then gave a firmer grasp.
“Is it bad if I said I would? I would want to change a lot of things about myself, I think,” he said, his voice low.
“I can’t think of a single reason why,” I said.
“Would have been better if I’d tried harder to make college happen. If I could have a more positive outlook. Be more responsible. If I wasn’t so damn afraid of my mom seeing me with a guy.”
“Wait a minute—more responsible? You’re one of the most responsible people I’ve met.”
“I try,” he said flatly, “but it never feels like enough.”
I took in a breath, pausing a moment, unsure of what to say. I thought of him earlier, sleeping on me, the tension completely drained from his face.
“You know you talk in your sleep?” I said.
“What?” he said, loud enough to send a flock of birds flying up into a nearby tree. “I do not.”
“You super do,” I said, grinning. “You whispered sweet nothings to me earlier, actually.”
“Holy fuck,” he said, and I couldn’t see for sure in the dim evening light but I swore he must be blushing. “I’m not sure if I even want to know what I said.”
“It was goddamn adorable, I’ll tell you that much,” I said.
“Okay, fine, what did I say?”
“…It was something along the lines of ‘you make me happy.’”
I turned to Grey as we walked, and saw a tiny smile on his lips. “Hey, at least I was being honest,” he said, eyes pointed ahead. I couldn’t even begin to describe how hearing that made me feel. Why was I so hung up on the fact that Grey liked me? It was like a grade-school crush, totally and completely. I had butterflies just hearing that he “liked” me, even though we’d already had sex.
It was so odd and strange and beautiful, but I was loving every minute of it.
There was a lull as we walked briefly into a local park, letting Chewy roam around and sniff out the place. The orange glow from the windows of nearby houses was singularly comforting, idyllic, and I felt like the small-town street could have been straight out of a movie.
“See that house, with the big front deck?” Grey asked.
I nodded.
“A kid who used to bully me incessantly lived there. I can never walk down this street without thinking about it.”
Thinking of anyone bullying Grey made my blood boil, but I kept my voice neutral.
“Is he still there?”
“God, no,” Grey said, furrowing his brow as we continued down the street. “He works on Wall Street now, last I heard.”
As we approached the front of the house, I stopped right in front of it on the sidewalk. The dim glow of a streetlamp illuminated Grey in front of me as he stopped too, turning to look at me strangely.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“This is the house? It always reminds you of the bully?”
He nodded.
I reached to grab his wrist, gently pulling him toward me. I pressed my lips against his. My body was touching the front of his, creating a warmth between us in the night air. I kissed him hungrily before pulling back, gently worrying his bottom lip with my teeth and then releasing. I buried my hand in his hair.
“Now you can have a new memory of this spot,” I said, bending to kiss against his neck.
He moaned softly, and it turned into a desperate laugh. “Adam,” he said, stroking his hand through my hair. “C’mon. There could be kids walking down this street.”
“There’s nobody out here,” I murmured against him, but I pulled back. “Forget that fucking bully,” I said, giving his cheek one last stroke. “Think of me instead.”
He smiled up at me, eyes full and bright. “I will.”
Eight
Grey
It’s weird how things work, sometimes. Because I was pretty sure I’d had one of the best days I could remember having in Fox Hollow, and it was the day I’d decided I would be leaving.
I felt like I was seeing the neighborhood through Adam’s eyes instead of my own, tarnished by years of bad memories. He pointed out things that I would never have been aware of: a little graffiti heart on a lamppost, a frog relaxing on the curb, a clearing surrounded by trees that looked like a painting. I wouldn’t have seen those things without him. His energy was infectious, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had so much fun just walking around the neighborhood.
It was electric. And kind of absurd, how good he made everything feel.
But as we walked back to my house, hand in hand in the darkness, reality began to hit me.
I would be leaving, sooner rather than later.
I was still myself, regardless of how good my day had been.
And Adam, honestly, was so far out of my league. He was being incredible, but hearing him say how confident he was with himself and how he’d change nothing about his life… it made me realize how untrue that was for me. I couldn’t even show my mom who I really was, let alone live the life I want.
We got back and Adam took off Chewy’s leash, then went to sit at the edge of my bed, waiting.
“Grey,” he said, breaking the silence. I realized I’d just been standing there, still with my house keys in my hand, staring at nothing. My eyes snapped up to him.
“Come here,” he said softly, his big eyes sleepy but relentlessly inviting. I kicked off my shoes, tossed my keys to the table with a clatter, and went to sit by his side at the foot of my bed, next to him. The room was illuminated only by one of my small, dim lamps near the corner of the room, casting everything in a warm glow that only made Adam look more at home.
“I can stay here tonight, with you,” he said, gently putting an arm around the small of my back. “Normally I wouldn’t… y’know, invite myself over like that, but I can’t leave you here alone when you look like that.”
“Hm?” I said, meeting his eyes.
He took a deep breath then pulled me into a tight hug. “You just looked so lonely all the sudden when we got back here. And exhausted.”
“I am exhausted,” I said, “A lot of stuff kinda just hit me at once.” I was a little in disbelief that I was being so honest. “God, you’ll really spend the night?”
“Would you like it if I did?” he asked.
“God, I’d fucking love it,” I said quickly.
He nodded against me. “Tell you what,” he said, leaning toward me and pressing a gentle kiss behind my ear. “Do you mind if I go take a quick shower? Then I’ll come back to bed.”
“No problem, of course,” I said, standing to go grab him a clean towel.
While he showered I sat back down on the bed, then laid down, exhaustion hitting me like a ton of bricks. I’d woken up earlier than normal, and as I listened to the sound of the water running in the shower, I started to drift. Images of the day floated through my head; Freezy Sweet, walking in sunlight, coming home to find Adam in my house, the shockingly intimate night I’d had with him. After a while all I could picture was his face, his lips, faintly hazy at the edges as I dozed.
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The next thing I knew, the light in the room had been turned off and I felt the warm weight of Adam tucking into bed next to me, smelling shower fresh.
“Oh,” I muttered, waking up, feeling like hours had passed even though it probably had only been 10 or 15 minutes.
“It’s okay,” Adam murmured, stroking a hand lightly down my back. “Just sleep.” I felt his lips press lightly against the back of my neck and then his arm draped around me, and I moaned lightly, half-awake and completely relaxing under his touch.
I was awake just long enough to snuggle back against him before falling into a deep sleep, waking only once more in the night to find that I was still in his arms.
As I woke up immediately I knew that things felt different.
There had been a shift in the weight on the bed, and the quality of light in the room was even dimmer than I was used to on an overcast day. As my eyes blinked open I realized it was much earlier than I usually woke up, and I turned over to see that Adam was no longer in bed.
A cloud of disappointment began to wash over me but then I heard a faint sound from the other side of the small house, and Adam’s figure appeared again in the room a moment later, just a silhouette in the dim, monochrome light filtering through the window.
“Grey?” he whispered. “Shit, I tried not to wake you. I’ve got to leave for work in a half hour.”
“Mmm,” I mumbled, as yet unable to make words, but I extracted one of my hands from the sheet and held it out toward him. “Come here,” I finally managed to say softly.
He padded back over to the bed, taking my hand in his and gently bringing it up to his lips, kissing the back of my hand, my palm, and down onto the skin of my wrist. His warm lips felt exquisite against the cool skin and I sighed at the contact.
And suddenly I began to feel very awake—instantly much more at attention than I had been even seconds ago. I shifted in bed and realized that my cock had become hard just from feeling Adam do that, and as he kissed down my arm, across my chest, and then to my face, it took effort not to rut my cock against his body.
Wild Star: Under the Stars Book 3 Page 10